Chapter 103 -- Breakdown
Luke's, the Parking Lot.
Carly pulls the car up to a spot right by the road and kills the engine. She
looks over at Lucky, who is staring off into space, completely unreadable.
Carly: Are you sure about this?
Lucky: I need to be mobile.
Carly: I'm not sure I like the idea of you driving tonight.
Lucky: I've done harder things in worse condition. (He glances over at her) Do
you know how LONG I've been driving?
Carly: (smirking) About as long as you've been doing everything else, I guess.
Lucky: Pretty much. (She frowns at him, and Lucky gives her a slightly
patronizing smile) I'll be fine.
Carly: (irritated/amused) Do you HAVE limits?
Lucky: (undoing his seat belt) What are those?
Carly: You know, lines you can't cross. Or shouldn't. (Lucky sighs and opens
the door)
Lucky: (under his breath) I do now.
Carly: What? (Lucky closes the door. She rolls her eyes and gets out after
him.) Lucky! (Lucky walks over to his car and stops, staring at the trunk.)
LUCKY! Come on. I really don't know if this is a good idea.
Lucky: (muttering) Limits. It's not even fifteen minutes to the house. It's
not like I'm drugging someone and dumping them in an alleyway.
Carly: I never should have told you about that.
Lucky: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. (He looks up at her) Seriously.
I'm fine.
Carly: Sorry, just have visions of "Uncle Luke" threatening my life again. He's
just a little psychotic where you're concerned.
Lucky: He's not psychotic. A little intense sometimes, maybe…
Carly: Hi, he's threatened to kill me.
Lucky: Huh.
Carly: Are you listening to me?
Lucky: Well… He DIDN'T, did he?
Carly: You know, Bobbie says the same thing!
Lucky: Death threats are good for the soul. They give you perspective.
(Lucky's voice has an eerie, distant quality. Carly looks at him with concern)
Carly: Lucky… Get back in the car. (Lucky shakes his head)
Lucky: Don't worry, it's nothing.
Carly: It is NOT.
Lucky: (looking over at the road) I… I was here this afternoon… (He stops
again.)
Carly: And…
Lucky: It's just different at night.
Carly: Oh my God. This is where it happened, isn't it? This is where you were
hit! (Lucky takes about three steps back from the trunk and looks back at the
road)
Lucky: (quiet) Right about here. (Carly looks at him as if he's about to do
something really crazy, but she has no clue how to stop him)
Carly: (carefully) Look… This is probably a pretty bad idea, you being here
right now.
Lucky: (snapping out of it) Nope. (He walks around the car and pulls his keys
out of his pocket). Don't sweat it. I was coming back for the car tonight
anyway.
Carly: You know… No way on earth was any of this your fault. (Lucky looks up
at her)
Lucky: Excuse me?
Carly: You heard me. (Lucky considers this a moment)
Lucky: (quietly) Have you ever been involved in something like that where you
didn't look back at stuff and say "If I'd done that differently, if I hadn't
been distracted, if I…"
Carly: Do you… Do you know WHY that happened?
Lucky: I have a pretty good idea.
Carly: Huh. This is where Jason would always tell me not to ask any
questions.
Lucky: (smiling) Jason's a smart guy.
Carly: Look… I'm worried about you. And you're not doing ANYTHING to convince
me that I'm being ridiculous.
Lucky: (shaking his head) Worrying is a really pointless activity.
Carly: How so?
Lucky: Because. You get wrapped up in knots about something you have no
control over. You know? Like… Some one is late. And you start doing what?
They've been in an accident, whatever. And maybe they HAVE, but it doesn't
matter because whatever happened has happened. It's already over before you
know you should be worrying. Which makes worrying a pointless activity.
Carly: Ok… So what if you're worried and you go check on them and find them
unconscious or something…
Lucky: THAT'S problem solving. Different thing.
Carly: Ok. Then let's problem solve.
Lucky: Whoa, hey. No, that wasn't an invitation.
Carly: Well… Something is going on here. Right? What kind of perspective
have these death threats given you?
Lucky: They… Ok. I never said that I was being threatened Carly.
Carly: But you are. (Carly looks at him, challenging him to lie to her. Lucky
starts to protest then stops, sighing)
Lucky: You're a mother, Carly. You've got a two-year-old kid to take care of.
This isn't something you want to get into.
Carly: I'm just saying… If you need anything, you know where to find me.
Lucky: Carly… (He stops and looks at her) Actually… I'll hold that thought.
Carly: (shocked) You're kidding.
Lucky: No. I might need to pick your brain about something.
Carly: Huh. You're the first man who's ever claimed to want me for my brain.
Lucky: Ah, Caroline. Your time will come. (He opens the door) And my time
has past. I gotta get going.
Carly: Uh huh. DRIVE CAREFULLY.
Lucky: Always.
* * * *
Hannah's Apartment.
Hannah has turned on every light in the apartment, having every door open, save
the front door, and is pacing the room furiously. She can't believe Lucky
didn't warn her about that. Of course, what right did she have freaking out at
a guy who'd had the kind of week he'd had?
PLENTY right. She didn't care anymore. These people, all of them, were playing
games with her life. Once again she's seized by an uncontrollable anger at the
situation. She didn't DO anything to get here. She didn't ask for this. She
never would have ended up here at her own free will. The implication was "Take
this job or die". It's becoming increasingly more obvious that she made the
wrong decision. She's going to die anyway. It's just about time she got used
to the idea.
There is a knock at the door, and Hannah runs to it, her heart moving up into
her throat.
Hannah: Nikolas… (She throws open the door and freezes) Oh, God.
Helena: Is that any way to greet a guest?
Hannah: (turning from the door) My manners are slipping. (Helena walks in,
followed by Ari who closes the door after them, then stands guard, immovable).
Helena: Slipping… That does seem to be the word of the day.
Hannah: What… (She turned back to her) Look. If this is about the hospital,
all I was doing…
Helena: I think I know perfectly well what you've been doing and it stops here.
Hannah: Wh…
Helena: I hear you had a visit from Luke Spencer.
Hannah: Lucky told him.
Helena: That was inevitable. I have a question for you.
Hannah: All right…
Helena: Exactly what possessed you to tell him the apartment was bugged.
Hannah: (annoyed) I was scared! I just wanted him to stop. He had his hands
on my throat!
Helena: Have I not been suitably threatening? Have I left you to think there
is a chance you can play both sides against each other?
Hannah: You know… I had a feeling you'd say that. And I've been thinking… If I
help you, Luke kills me. If I help Luke you kill me… Either way you slice it,
I'm not long for this world.
Helena: (with mock pity) You are a limited thinker.
Hannah: Maybe I'm just a *little* smarter than you give me credit for! I mean…
Once you've offed Lucky, what use are you going to have for me?
Helena: (Sweetly) I'm not in the habit of "offing" people for no apparent
reason, Corrine.
Hannah: That's not what I hear.
Helena: Be careful what you listen to.
Hannah: Perish the notion of independent thought.
Helena: (viciously) From the beginning, my dear, that has been your
shortcoming! Independence! You managed to improve my situation, briefly, but
you insist on acting alone! It's become obvious that you don't care much for
the life you possess! But what about that of your niece? Is that as
expendable? (Hannah turns away) If you do not do as instructed, I can
reevaluate my plans… Now. I watched my Grandson's movements today. And he
spent nearly his every free minute with Lucky. Do you want to explain this to
me?
Hannah: Look. He… He blames you for what happened to Lucky.
Helena: Yes, because you failed to tell him what I instructed you to!
Hannah: HOW is he supposed to believe that I'd have ANY way of knowing that it
was a mob hit.
Helena: Do I have to keep holding your hand through this? If I have to distance
the boys from each other, I could simply take Emily from Lucky on a more
permanent basis. Can you imagine what his reaction to that would be?
Hannah: He would blame YOU!
Helena: He would blame us ALL.
Hannah: If you hold to that theory, then what's to stop HIM from killing
Nikolas? Just out of rage. He's capable of it.
Helena: That is not your concern.
Hannah: Well, excuse me if I'm not overcome with relief. (Helena's eyes,
previously cold and controlled, flash with anger.)
Helena: YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT WHORE! Where do you
presume to speak to me that way?
Hannah: SO KILL ME, if that's what you want to do! That would just endear you
to Nikolas! And don't think he's dumb enough to fall for any underhanded tricks
of yours! You want the honest to God's truth? At this point, he'd do just
about anything to believe the best of Lucky. Personally, I think he's a
borderline psychopath, but hey! I'm not his brother. Nikolas IS. And for some
reason, he likes it that way. (Helena advances on her, stopping just inches
from her face. Hannah defiantly stands her ground, though she can't stop from
shaking a little).
Helena: DON'T presume to tell ME my Grandson's mind. I have made careful study
of it. I know his weaknesses. I am aware of where the land lies. Is Lucky a
weakness? Is this what you're telling me? NO. Lucky is merely another attempt
for Nikolas to gain acceptance with the Spencer. But it will never happen. Not
as long as I live and breathe! Not as long as Nikolas has Cassadine blood
running through his veins. YOU underestimate me! You think because you have
shared a bed with Nikolas that you know his heart? That you know his wounds? I
have known the boy since the day he was born. I CREATED those wounds. I
nurtured them to give him strength! And what happened? He was snatched from my
care, his upbringing usurped by his uncle. And those strengths crumbled into
weakness! And IF I choose your death, I have already told you what it will
entail. The death of those you care about, the loss of Nikolas' love… an
inevitable fact anyway. The sooner you abandon your romantic hopes for a future
with him, the better.
Hannah: I've NEVER entertained any ideas for a future with Nikolas.
Helena: An intelligent move. (She smiles coldly, then turns, pacing the length
of the room) Now. As for your niece. She has been moved into a private room.
The name of her nurse is Amy Vinning. She will be relieved at midnight, and
replaced by Sheila Findley, who will work straight through to morning. Her
rounds are extensive, no one will be watching the room. It would take very
little effort to…
Hannah: (covering her ears) STOP IT! (Helena turns back, still smiling) I
know, I know what you can do! (She turns away. What is this… The stupid two
choices. Neither one being clear, neither one giving her what she really wants…
some kind of freedom. She takes a deep breath and turns back) I know what you
want me to do. And I can do it. YES, Nikolas cares about Lucky. YES, Nikolas
wants some kind of relationship from him. BUT Lucky isn't… Lucky can't handle
it. From everything I've seen? Lucky's the weak link… you said he's emotional,
he is. And I KNOW that Nikolas doesn't trust Lucky. Not in the end. So… If
you want to… (She stops and exhales heavily.) If you want to estrange Lucky and
Nikolas, no… It probably won't take much work. I can do it. But you have to
leave Emily alone.
Helena: (coldly) You will tell Nikolas that the hit may have been a part of a
conversation you overheard at the club. That is all. For now. If he presses,
tell him you're scared to say more. If you do that for me, your niece lives.
For now. (Hannah nods, her heart stilling. Nikolas will know it's a lie,
she'll make sure of that. And… It's time for her to invent a new option.
That's clear. She takes a deep breath)
Hannah: Your wish is my command.
Helena: See that it stays that way. (She turns and glides out of the
apartment, leaving Hannah to sag on the couch. Outside, Ari pulls the door
closed)
Ari: Do you want to proceed?
Helena: I have no faith in that girl. So proceed we must.
* * * *
The Spencer House
Laura sits in the darkened living room. She holds Nikolas' note clutched in her
hand. It's after diner now, and neither Luke nor Lucky have returned. She looks
down at Nikolas' words again. She has no idea what to make of it. She'd
expected that Lucky had taken Foster down the road, or perhaps gone out with his
father. She hadn't expected that he would have ended up with Nikolas. She
wasn't sure how it had happened, the note was so… Normal. As if there was
nothing strange about finding a note from her eldest son on the kitchen table of
her home, announcing that he was taking his brother to run more "errands".
For years she's wanted her sons to be tolerant of each other. In her more
delusional moments, she'd even entertained brief fantasies of them getting
along. Of each accepting the idea of having a brother. After all, Lucky had
adopted more than one 'brother' figure in his life. There had never been a
sign, however. Antipathy had given away to apathy, and she had slowly forced
herself to loose hope. But now something was happening… And it made her uneasy.
Lucky had kept his involvement with Jason Morgan a secret from her. But not from
Nikolas. Nikolas had been with him when the accident had occurred. He'd stayed
with him at the hospital… She couldn't help but suspect that there was something
else going on here.
Laura's thoughts are interrupted by headlights beaming through the window,
announcing Luke's return. She flips on the light by the couch, providing a
little more light, and stands up, walking towards the door. She listens to the
engine die, the door open, then slam… The noises of him getting close. All the
time trying to imagine what she's going to say to him. She's having a hard time
believing she has a right to be angry… And an even harder time being anything
else. The door open and Luke comes in.
Luke: Hey, Angel.
Laura: Where did you go?
Luke: I had a few things to take care of.
Laura: Did you find Helena?
Luke: Something like that. (He sighs) Don't worry about it. (He glances
around the room, distracted) Where's the kids?
Laura: Lulu is upstairs… And Lucky… Well, I have no idea where Lucky is.
Luke: (freezing) What? (Laura hands him the note) What's this?
Laura: I went to pick up Lulu from Felicia's, that was on the table when I got
back.
Luke: (under his breath) Laura, Lucky needed to… (He looks up) He's with
NIKOLAS?
Laura: That's what it says.
Luke: WHAT the HELL is going on here?
Laura: I'm just as confused as you are.
Luke: (not believing her) You are.
Laura: Look. I know something is going on with them. They're… Well, they're
trying.
Luke: Trying to do what?
Laura: To get along!
Luke: Lucky tell you that?
Laura: No. Lucky doesn't tell me anything. (She crosses her arms and looks at
Luke pointedly) I wonder where he gets that from.
Luke: Something on your mind, Darlin'?
Laura: Were you planning on telling me that our son is working for Jason
Morgan?
Luke: How did you… Let me guess. Nikolas again!
Laura: I'm his mother. I have a right to…
Luke: And I'm his father, and neither thing seems to mean a whole lot to him
right now! (Laura turns away, walking to the door, and looking out the screen.)
Laura: (quietly) I know.
Luke: Yeah, well you wanna explain it to me? Why my eighteen-year-old son
doesn't want me to touch him? Why he suddenly starts keeping secrets and
running around with his worst enemy? (The guilt swirling inside Laura gives way
at the viciousness of Luke's last remark)
Laura: You mean Nikolas.
Luke: DAMN RIGHT, Nikolas. Helena Cassadine is roaming the streets of Port
Charles! And here you are telling me you have no idea where my son is?
Laura: Lucky doesn't need our permission to leave this house! He's never asked
for it, why would he this time? This has NOTHING to do with Nikolas!
Luke: This is not a good time to let your mother instincts cloud your
judgement, Laura. (Laura stares at him, fighting against the anger building
inside her. She turns her back on him, not wanting to fight, knowing she
deserves the anger he's throwing at her, just as much as she feels she deserves
Lucky's. She pushes open the screen door, heading out onto the porch. She
takes a deep breath of the night air, filling her lungs. Luke appears behind
her, the door swinging shut behind him)
Laura: Nikolas wouldn't hurt Lucky. If you don't think he'd do it for Lucky,
then think of Lulu.
Luke: How many times have they nearly torn each other apart, Laura? What do
you think could be behind this newfound chumminess?
Laura: (Turning to face him) He was THERE when Lucky was hit…
Luke: EXACTLY! And what was he doing there? Have you thought about that?
Laura: He helped him!
Luke: A Cassadine doesn't help anyone unless it helps himself.
Laura: Will you STOP calling him that! He is NOT a Cassadine, he is my son!
Luke: HE IS… (Luke is cut off by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.
Lucky gets out of the car, and looks up at his parents. He opens his mouth to
say something, then stops seeing the look on both of their faces. He feels
himself go cold.)
Lucky: What's going on? (Luke descends the stairs)
Luke: Where have you been?
Lucky: I… Had some places to go. What are…?
Laura: (quickly) We were just worried about you, that's all. That's all that's
going on.
Lucky: (disguising a wave of relief) Why?
Luke: Helena Cassadine. You need another answer?
Lucky: I went to see Emily… And then Carly dropped me off to get my car, ok?
That's it.
Laura: (quietly) Luke, I'd like to speak to Lucky alone.
Luke: I… (He stops. He looks at Laura meaningfully, communicating that he
doesn't think this is a good time to bring up the Jason thing. Laura smiles
weakly)
Laura: About Nikolas.
Lucky: Fine.
Luke: Look… (He looks over at Lucky, then back at Laura) Fine. I'll just get
out of your way, then. (He storms back up the steps)
Lucky: DAD! (Luke stops and turns back to him) I… I'll see you inside. (Luke
studies Lucky's face, then stops and nods)
Luke: You and me have a couple of things to discuss, kid. (Lucky looks away.
Welcome to hell. He knew there was a reason he wanted to get out of this place.
As much as he doesn't want his father to think that he's giving Laura preferable
treatment, he doesn't feel like he has much more in him tonight. Luke mounts the
stairs and goes into the house. Lucky looks over at Laura.)
Laura: How is Emily?
Lucky: Ok.
Laura: Did you get to talk to her?
Lucky: Yeah. (He turns away. This is not a good time to get into Emily. It
took him some serious work to get Carly to drop him off in the parking lot, and
he hadn't stopped to think about what it would mean to be back there, after
dark, right on the spot where she got hit. It's left him shaken, but he's not
going to let his mother help him with that. Not now. He walks over to the
porch and sits down on the steps. After a moment, Laura joins him).
Laura: I spoke to Nikolas.
Lucky: I know.
Laura: Did you two talk about it?
Lucky: Don't read anything into that, Mom. As far as I'm concerned the dye was
cast with Nik and I a long time ago. This isn't going to be some brotherly
bonding ritual, ok?
Laura: I didn't expect that it would be.
Lucky: So… You're on the clock now, Mom. How much more time do we have?
Laura: Lucky…
Lucky: Come on, you have to give me a hint.
Laura: I know that must have been scary for you… Coming in on your father and I
fighting.
Lucky: I'll live.
Laura: (concerned) I think I saw your heart stop. (Lucky shrugs, smiling
slightly, his heart not in the light mood he's trying to pass off).
Lucky: Practice, Mom. Practice. What now?
Laura: Lucky… (Lucky's mood crashes, his whole body tensing at the sound of
his name)
Lucky: JUST answer… (He looks at her, pained) Please. Just answer the
question. (Laura stares at him, the pleading tone of his voice tearing at her)
Laura: I'm going to see Stefan tomorrow.
Lucky: And then?
Laura: I'll talk to you again.
Lucky: Right. So… What does that mean, Mom?
Laura: I don't want to make this harder on you than it has to be. I know at
this point that must seem like a small thing, but…
Lucky: Hey, I'll be fine. Don't sweat it. (Laura looks over at Lucky… He's
trying so hard, and she can tell he's barely holding it together. She softens
her voice)
Laura: I know about Jason. (Lucky feels the steps dip. He makes no move)
Lucky: Huh.
Laura: Lucky… Why? (She hold her breath, already sure she knows the answer)
Lucky: That's… (He smiles to himself) THAT is the five million-dollar
question.
Laura: (tense) Lucky!
Lucky: Come on, Mom. You know I hate to be bored.
Laura: That is NOT a reason to…
Lucky: DO you really think you have a right to question anything I do? Why do
you think it took you so long to find you, Dad had to tell you?
Laura: Your father didn't tell me. (Lucky looks at her sharply, then the
answer dawns on him)
Lucky: Saint Nikolas. Right. Of course.
Laura: Lucky…
Lucky: He tell you how he knew? Because I'd LOVE the clarification.
Laura: You didn't…
Lucky: (agitated) What? Confide in him? Share all my dirty little secrets
with him? Come on. You know that's not my style. (Laura turns away from him.
This is impossible. She's not going to get anywhere. She hears a ragged
exhalation of air, and looks back at Lucky. He's in a state of near collapse,
his arms extended, elbows on his knees, his body bent over, letting his head
hang down low. She puts out a tentative hand and rubs his back. Lucky tries not
to react, but his body slides closer to her, of it's own accord. She leans over,
lowering her head close to his, still rubbing his back soothingly)
Laura: I made a promise to you last night. I promised you this would end.
And it will. (Lucky sits up suddenly)
Lucky: No. It's never going to end, Mom. It's forever. This is never going
to go away, not for any of us!
Laura: It will get better! It has to.
Lucky: You know what? I have had it with this optimism thing of yours. Yeah,
it'll get better because someone will show up and save you from it. Who's it
going to be this time? Nikolas? Stefan? Well, who saves me? NO ONE. And
this is a classic "too little to late"… (Lucky stops short, realizing he's going
to cry. There's no way to stop it, already. It's coming. He stands up,
putting his hand over his stomach and struggling against the painful lump in his
throat) My father will never forgive me. It's that simple. I will never be the
same to him. Never.
Laura: (quietly) Your father doesn't have to know everything. (Lucky stares at
her. His stomach twists violently. She doesn't get it. It's confirmation.
Even she thinks that Luke would never forgive him.)
Lucky: (His voice shaking violently) You… You don't know anything about me, do
you?
Laura: Lucky! (Lucky pushes past her, and mounts the stairs. She leaps up and
follows him as he slams into the house) Lucky! Come back here! (She stops,
realizing that Mother-tone is NOT going to work on him. And he has every right
to ignore it. Lucky starts up the stairs, as Laura begins to plead with him)
Lucky, please! Don't shut me out this time… (The door to the kitchen opens and
Luke comes into the room)
Luke: Cowboy? (Lucky increases pace at the sound of his father's voice, using
his last reserve of strength to dash up the remaining stairs. Laura meets
Luke's eyes, and his face darkens at the distress on his wife's face) Hey!
Lucky, get down here! (Lucky is gone. Luke swears under his breath and starts
up the stairs)
Laura: (Grabbing him as he passes her) Luke! Don't. Leave him alone. He
needs to be alone right now.
Luke: (pulling away) Like hell! (Luke thunders up the stairs after him. In his
room, Lucky stares at the bed, hearing his father coming after him. Oh, God, no.
Just once, please… The door flies open and Luke appears) WHAT did you just say
to your mother?
Lucky: (numb) Ask her.
Luke: I'm ASKING you! And I want an answer for once!
Lucky: Dad…
Luke: What is WRONG with you? This isn't about Jason, this isn't about Emily,
or any of it! This is something else. And I have done my best to stay out of
your face about it, but if you think you're going to come in here and make your
mother cry…
Lucky: (suddenly enraged) DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? I'll leave, man. (He
starts past him) I'm out of here.
Luke: (Grabbing Lucky and pushing him hard, so that he falls onto the bed) You
aren't going anywhere! Not 'til you tell me what is going on! You tell me WHY
you're keeping secrets, why you're acting like the whole world owes you
something and isn't paying up! I want an answer NOW! (Lucky stares at Luke,
shaking violently, shivering. Luke stops yelling and notices the state Lucky's
in. His anger vanishes as quickly as it came) What… What is it? What is wrong
with you? (Lucky looks away. His eyes fall on the pill bottle on his
nightstand. He looks back at Luke)
Lucky: (unsteadily) Nothing new. (He sees the concern, the worry on his
father's face, and the self-loathing feels like it's enough to choke him. He
wants this to go away… No. He NEEDS this to go away. Somehow.)
Luke: (Kneeling down in remorse) Ok. Ok, I believe that. I know that. This is
something… This is big, isn't it? And old, I know. I can tell you're hurting.
(Lucky smirks bitterly) Hey! Hey, come on. Since when can't you tell me
anything? (Lucky leans over and picks up the pill bottle, his hand trembling)
Lucky: What's this? (Luke pushes down his irritation. He's going to play this
Lucky's way. If it'll get the kid to calm down, he'll do whatever it takes)
Luke: (dismissively) Sleeping pills. They thought the stress would get to you
or something. (Lucky nods. Luke reaches out and turns Lucky's face towards
him. Lucky flinches.) You are always safe here. Nothing you could do or say
is going to make me stop loving you, you understand that? What ever this is,
we'll get through it together. (Lucky pulls away and retreats to the corner of
the bed, leaning against the wall and the headboard, like some kind of wounded
animal. He fondles the pill bottle as he speaks.)
Lucky: Do you really think that… People love unconditionally?
Luke: (firmly) *I* do.
Lucky: What if… I… (He stops. What is he doing?) What if I…
Luke: (leaning forward) What is it? (Lucky locates the arrows on the pill
bottle, and lines them up, turning the cap almost unnoticed with his thumb)
Lucky: Everything has limits.
Luke: (frozen with fear) What are you telling me, Lucky? What are you trying
to say to me?
Lucky: (staring hard at the bottle) You never take the easy way out, do you?
Luke: Just tell me, Lucky, I swear to God I'll help you.
Lucky: No. You won't. (In shock, Luke stands up, his anger bubbling up again)
Luke: How the hell can you say that! When… WHEN, Lucky was I not there for
you? When did I not have your back? You wanna tell me that? (Lucky flips open
the bottle and with lightening speed spills out several pills, tossing one into
his mouth and swallowing it. Luke's jaw drops and Lucky looks back at him)
Lucky: I'm not saying anything now. (Luke stares at him)
Luke: (Deadly quiet) What the hell did you do that for?
Lucky: It was an easy way out. (He throws the bottle and remaining pills
across the room. They hit the window and drop, the pills scattering everywhere.
Luke doesn't tear his eyes from Lucky)
Luke: You can't run from me!
Lucky: I can run from anyone. (Luke's face goes bright red. He knows if he
stays he'll shake the life out of this creature claiming to be his son. He
turns and walks to the door, slamming it violently behind him. The sound of the
door shudders through Lucky, along with the sounds of him descending the stairs.
He hears the front door slam and collapses gratefully onto the bed, burying him
face into the pillow, his body immediately wracked with sobs. Everything spills
out of him, with a violence he wasn't even aware he was capable of. Nothing
else seems real, nothing but the salt of his tears, the suffocating feeling of
the pillow over his face, the pounding of his heart. He chokes, struggling hard
not to allow any voice to these feelings, keeping them quiet and hoping like
hell his father doesn't come back. The emotions hit him in wave after powerful
wave, unrelenting. His mother, his father, his sister, Nikolas, Emily… All of
it. He feels like he's going to loose his mind. If he hasn't already. There's
nowhere for him to go. Nothing can afford him any comfort now. The room spins
around him, he can feel it, even with his eyes squeezed shut. He becomes aware
of light entering the room, and he sits up suddenly, faced with Lulu. She looks
at him, eyes wide. He struggles a moment to pretend like nothing's happening,
but crumbles and sinks back onto the bed, his head buried in the pillow again.
Lulu crosses to him. She stares down at him a moment, then crawls up onto the
bed next to him. He doesn't move, his crying quieter now, slower, but just as
unstoppable. She lies down next to him and looks at him sadly.
Lulu: Why are you crying? (Lucky groans. After a moment her rolls over onto
this back, away from her. He opens his mouth to speak, but it takes several
moments to choke out his response)
Lucky: I'm… I'm… (He stops. Lulu sits up and looks at him, getting scared.)
I'm just tired, Lulu. (The truth of his words hit him hard and he's gripped by
the devastation of it) I'm so God damned tired… (Lulu moves to him quickly,
wrapping her arms around his neck. He surrenders to emotion again, unable to
stop it, and lets himself cry, his arms blindly finding her and hugging her
closer to him. They stay like that for minutes, until the tears are spent, and
Lucky feels like crying is something he's just never going to do again. He lets
out a shaky breath)
Lulu: You should sleep.
Lucky: (hoarsely) I’m sorry, Lulu.
Lulu: What for? (Lucky closes his eyes. He feels like every part of him
weights a million pounds. Like it would take all the effort in the world just
to lift one finger. He's not sure if it's the pill already, or just the fact
that he is emotionally, physically and psychologically exhausted.)
Lucky: (thickly) I love you, Lulu. (Lulu sits up and looks down at Lucky).
Lulu: I love you too. (Lucky doesn't seem to hear. He feels everything go
very hot, then cold, then hot again. He's drifting, barely aware of anything
around him, hardly even aware of the bed, or Lulu's hands now holding his as he
sinks into an impossibly deep sleep. Lulu looks down at him, confused and more
than a little terrified. She doesn't know what to do. She puts her head to his
chest and listens to his heart beat, satisfied that he's fallen asleep. But she
doesn't want to leave. That was too scary. What if he wakes up and needs a hug
or something? When she's sad she hates to wake up alone. She frowns, making up
her mind. She'll stay with him, then. So he doesn't have to be alone. Then if
he needs her, she'll be there. She closes her eyes, curling up against him.
After a few minutes the door to the room opens and she sits up to see her
father, his face grim, in the doorway. Lulu blinks) Lucky's gone to sleep.
(Luke nods) He's upset.
Luke: (gruffly) Go find your mother.
Lulu: I want to stay with Lucky. (Luke looks past her to his son, then back to
her innocent face, displaying such deep concern)
Luke: I… (He reaches over and picks Lulu up, pulling her off the bed. She
squirms slightly, twisting to look back at her brother) You can come back. Make
sure he's all right. I want to stay with him alone for a little while, ok?
(Lulu looks at her father, evaluating this course of action).
Lulu: He was crying.
Luke: I know.
Lulu: But he stopped. I want to sleep in here tonight, ok? (Luke starts to
protest, then sees the determined look on her face)
Luke: How about this… You go get your mother, you guys can set up your bed in
here. (Lulu nods gravely)
Lulu: I think that's a good idea. You'll stay with him? (Luke smiles at her,
his eyes still sad)
Luke: Won't let him out of my sight. (Lulu, satisfied, kicks her legs to
indicate that she wants down. Luke slides her down to the ground and she
scampers off, in search of Laura. Luke watches Lucky carefully, his eyes
trained on the steady rise and fall of his chest. He turns suddenly and moves
to the window. Kneeling, he scoops up the fallen pills, not letting himself
think about the reason he wants them out of Lucky's presence. He moves back
over to the bed, and looks down at Lucky's now peaceful face. The tracks of his
tears are unmistakable. He reaches out shakily and traces them down his son's
face.) What's doing this to you, Cowboy? What could be eating you up like
this? (He bows his head, letting the tears he's been holding back fall
silently.)
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