Chapter 104 -- Decisions, Decisions
Hannah's Apartment, early morning.
Hannah is asleep on the couch. Spread out on the table are the pictures that she
has saved from her life thus far, the ones she examined the night she met Emily.
The apartment is dark, except for a dim light emitted from a lamp by the window.
The door opens and Nikolas enters, cautiously. She's taken to leaving the door
unlocked for him, and he's really taken advantage of it tonight. He stops and
watches at her in sleep. She is undeniably beautiful to him. As far away from
him as she's felt lately, she still stops his heart. He closes the door silently
and crosses to her. He sits on the far end of the couch and leans over, studying
her, and the rise and fall of her chest as she lies peacefully before him. He
reaches out and brushes back her hair, then leans forward and kisses her gently
on the lips. After a moment she responses, slightly, then he feels her jerk
awake, pulling back from him. He sits back.
Hannah: Nikolas?
Nik: Good morning.
Hannah: (sitting up) What happened to you? I… I thought you were coming last
night.
Nik: Sun hasn't risen yet.
Hannah: I… Uh… (She stops, without answer to this. Any other person in any other
circumstances, she would be absolutely furious. But it's hard to get mad at a
guy when you're being forced to help him kill his brother. She leans back
against the arm of the couch) Something's happened.
Nik: (leaning in to kiss her again) Don't worry about it.
Hannah: (quietly) Dracula again, huh?
Nik: I had some thinking to do.
Hannah: Where? You weren't home… What time is it?
Nik: (looking at his watch) It's four AM.
Hannah: Did you sleep?
Nik: No. I have… (He shakes his head) I had a long night. I had to think about
some stuff.
Hannah: Dangerous practice.
Nik: It's all I do. (He smiles slightly, then looks at the pictures on the
coffee table) What… (He stops)
Hannah: My family. (Nikolas nods. She gathers them up in her hands, and smiles
at him) I'll show them to you… Sometime. (She sits up and looks over at him) I
missed you.
Nik: I'm sorry.
Hannah: It's all right. I got some serious thinking done, too.
Nik: Come to any conclusions?
Hannah: I made a few decisions… And here's one of them. (She takes a deep breath
and looks at him) Your brother is dangerous. (Nikolas jerks back from her)
Nik: What?
Hannah: I… I put off telling you this, because I know you're worried but… I
think he's letting you think that hit was about Emily. And it wasn't. It was
about him.
Nik: What are you saying? (Hannah shakes her head)
Hannah: This mob stuff… He's in deeper than you think. I mean, none of it made
much sense at the time, but there was stuff at the club… People looking for him,
trying to track him down. I just didn't put it all together at first. And then
when I did… I guess I was naive. I didn't think that you needed to know. (She
looks at him pointedly. Nikolas takes the hint)
Nik: So you kept it from me?
Hannah: I thought it was for the best! And I was scared. Nikolas… Lucky is
really frightening. He's threatened to kill me.
Nik: I…
Hannah: You HAVE to believe me! He's putting everyone in danger. And he wants
you to think that it's your Grandmother's fault!
Nik: (darkly, though still playing a part) You don't know my Grandmother,
Hannah.
Hannah: No, but I know Lucky. I know what he's capable of. And he nearly got my
niece killed, I'm sure of it. I mean… You saw it happen! Was that something your
grandmother would do?
Nik: I don't know what she'd do! I think she'd do almost anything if she thought
it would get her what she wants. (Hannah looks at him a moment, then smiles
weakly. He returns the gesture, then sighs heavily. This is stupid. What the
hell would he say if this were really happening? He sighs, and leans over her,
giving her a silent kiss. She sinks back onto the couch)
Hannah: I'm so tired… You must be exhausted.
Nik: I… I don't want to talk about Lucky. He's… (He stops, trying to think of
something to say) He's a selfish unfeeling brat. But I… I don't know. (He looks
over at Hannah and rolls his eyes) Let's not talk about him right now. I came to
see you. (She bites her lip)
Hannah: Are you sure? (Nikolas looks at her helplessly. It's late… Or early. And
he doesn't feel like playing this game. Not when he's this tired. And messed up
on the whole topic of Lucky. It's a weak effort, but what does Helena really
know about him anyway?)
Nik: (forced gruffness) I'll take care of it. Don't worry.
Hannah: It might have been Emily this time… But next time it could be Lulu.
(Nikolas looks over at her sharply)
Nik: No. No, that can't happen.
Hannah: (softly) You have to stop him. (Nikolas shakes off the very image of
Lulu being hurt. He looks back at her, deciding to put a stop to this stupidity)
Nik: I didn't come here to talk about Lucky.
Hannah: (sitting up again) I know. (They look at each other. Hannah takes in his
posture. Confused, and vulnerable, a bit of anger, a bit of sadness. She smiles.
This is so unfair to him, all of it. She moves towards him, sliding across the
couch, and pushing him back against the seat. She takes his face in her hands
and kisses him, long and slow, just what she'd planned, what she'd been waiting
up to do. To make love to him, really make love to him, before she did what
she'd finally decided needed to be done. He grips her, and pulls her towards
him, thankful to have something to do besides try to figure out how he'd react
to these lies if he actually believed him. She pulls back and gazes at him
lovingly.) You'll take care of him, Nikolas. I know you will. (Nikolas groans.
She silences him with another kiss, and moves over to whisper in his ear)
Let's go to the bedroom. (Nikolas nods, then suddenly picks her up. She lets out
a cry of surprise, then looks at him, a smile coming onto her lips) How
romantic… (He kisses her, then carries her into the bedroom, lying her down on
the bed gently. She gazes up at him. He is romantic. He's still so young, he has
so many ideals, so much he still believes in. It tears at her heart. He pulls
him down onto the bed with her, kissing him deeply, as she slides her hands up
his chest. He stretches out his body over her, his fingers lightly roaming up
and down her rib cage. She catches her breath, and pulls back form him
momentarily. He looks down at her confused, and she wraps her arms around him,
and pulls him as close to her as she can) You really will take care of
everything. I know you will. (Nikolas looks at her, the words sinking in. He
nods slightly. She slides her hands up his back, and around to begin to undo the
buttons on his shirt, laying seductive kisses on his neck and collarbone. She
smiles to herself as she hears him moan, then rolls him over to continue her
lovemaking.)
* * * *
The Spencer House, Lucky's Room.
Lucky stares at the wall, without seeing it. Not at first. He gradually becomes
aware of the fact that he is awake, and he is looking at something, but once
there, has no idea for how long or why. He rubs his eyes. He feels cold. Really
cold, and a little sick. Unpleasant. It feels almost like it's a product of his
surroundings. The mood comes with the space. He closes his eyes and let's his
mind finally probe the question of how. How did he come to be here, and why is
he THIS awake when it is clearly before sunrise?
Finding the answer, Lucky rolls over onto his back, his arm over his eyes. This
is not good. No, that was a “scene”, no two ways about it, and his father isn't
one to let a thing like that rest. And what? THEN what? He opens his eyes
suddenly, recalling how dangerously close he came to just telling him
everything. Some kind of death wish… On him or on his mother? That was
uncertain. God, had he really done that? It's incomprehensible now, hours later,
that he'd just broken that way. Now… He feels like steel. Unmovable. Like
something made its mind up while he slept. And it's unquestionable. It won't be
reasoned with. This has to change, and he's got to be the one to do it. Whatever
this stupid thing is, it's between his parents. And it has to take a back seat.
If he's going to have the luxury of being alive to witness his father's anger,
something has to give. And he can't let his family… any of them… be a part of
it. Nothing makes sense when they're around. He gets distracted, he gets
emotional… Lucky cringes slightly in memory of just how crazy the previous day
was. Too much. This whole house is too much. And he's not spending another
minute in it.
He forces himself to sit up, still not the easiest task in the world, and takes
in the room. Still dark, the curtains have been pulled shut… He tries not to
think about who did that, or why. He can barely remember falling asleep. Just
lying there with Lulu, and… He looks down, noting that he slept in the clothes
that he was wearing. He pulls at the flannel shirt that got twisted around his
body during sleep. Ugh. Despite the fact that he feels cold, his skin is clammy,
the material clinging to it. He kicks back the blankets, and gives his head a
shake.
Hey. Not that bad. Hardly any pain. He runs his hands through his hair, and
stretches, reassuring himself that everything is BASICALLY in working order.
There's no clock in the room anymore, but the lack of light tips him off that
it's still pretty early. He takes a deep breath. Ok. Now or never. He swings his
legs over the side of the bed and spots Lulu for the first time. She curled up
on a floor mat under a large comforter. Her hair is damp, and plastered to her
forehead. She is holding a stuffed animal in her arms, burying part of her face
against it. He feels his heart tighten.
Lulu. There was no way on earth to explain any of this to Lulu. The fact that
she's here in his room says everything. She used to do this sometimes. It had
always tipped him off as to when he was walking too close to an edge. When his
little sister refused to leave him alone, even to sleep… She'd done it the night
of his graduation… God. She hadn't been awake, long since put to bed, when he
got home. And his parents had been out too. He hadn't even gone into the house
right away, staying outside and trying to get some kind of grip before he went
in and slept. It had felt incomprehensible to him that night… If he'd gone to
sleep, then he would have had to wake up to his first day as Emily's ex-
boyfriend. But he had gone in, convinced he didn't care about any of it anymore,
until he'd got up to his room and realized… When you have a relationship with
someone for as long as he and Emily had been together, there is “debris”.
Everywhere. Emily had left a sweater at the house a month earlier and he'd
continually forgotten to give it back to her, so it was still slung over the
back of the chair. And there were pictures, tapes, books… It went on. That had
been when it hit him, and hard. And somehow… It had felt like it must have been
almost psychic… though he probably made more noise pacing the room than he'd
meant to… Lulu had appeared. He'd looked at her, knowing he looked angry. But it
wasn't an expression he could wipe from his face. He didn't want her to see him
like that. And it still hadn't scared her away. She'd come over and hugged him
and that had been it. The girl basically had him wrapped around her finger. She
told him to go to bed, and he did. And when he woke up, she was watching him
from the armchair, having slept there all night to make sure he was all right.
That killed him. Still does. Always will. She was his little sister. It was his
job to protect HER. But she had tried to do the same with him.
He kneels on the floor next to her. As much as he loved his parents… And it
might sound strange, but his dog as well… Nothing had prepared him for how he'd
felt about his little sister. God. That was unconditional love. That was mind
blowing. No matter what happens, or where they all end up, he knows that he'll
love her until his dying day. When she'd almost died it had released a pain in
him that he was unaccustomed to. Bullets you can duck, but there was no escaping
aplastic anemia. That was God reaching out his hand and marking you. There were
no explanations, or answers or alternate plans. He sits back and watches her
sleep, his mind returning to his father. God, if he felt this way about his
sister, then how could his parents not feel the same way about him? Lucky feels
a strange chill take hold of him. They did. They probably did feel that way. But
they felt that way about the person they thought he was. He closes his eyes
against the image of his father looking at him last night with so much confusion
and pain. Why did he keep doing that to him? This wasn't his fault. But for some
reason he was angry at him anyway. Maybe it was easier to pretend he didn't want
his love, or didn't need it than to admit that he didn't know what he'd ever do
with out it. And even if all this finished and Luke still wanted him, still
loved him, it wouldn't be what it was before. That trust, that respect they
shared would be gone forever and he'd never get it back. He knew what that was
like. That had happened with his mother. God, he LOVES her. He loves her so much
that a part of him hates the fact that he isn't strong enough to do this, to
help her, to protect her from everything. He wanted to be able to do it. He
wanted everything to just be the way it was. But it couldn't be. And as much as
he loved her, he found it almost impossible to look at her. He'd said it to
Emily the night they'd first made love… God, had that been just a couple of days
ago?”
“You love me. That's fine. But you can love someone and hate them at the same
time. You can love them more than anything, and it will tear you apart because
you can't respect them anymore!”
She'd called him on that… Guessed he was really talking about Laura. She always
did that, read him so clearly that it was like there was nothing between them.
No matter how many protective smoke signals he sent up, she saw through it all.
That was part of why he'd fallen in love with her. The fact that she could see
him clearly when he couldn't see himself. And as crazy as it had driven him at
the time, she'd seen Nikolas too. Even Lizzie. Clarity had been something he
needed then. Some kind of balance. He still did.
All these people… He shakes his head. He should feel lucky. He should feel like
anything is possible. He leans over and lays a gentle kiss on Lulu's temple. She
smiles slightly in her sleep. He pulls the comforter up around her, and leans
down to whisper in her ear.
Lucky: I love you, kiddo. Be back soon. (With that he picks up his shoes and
stands up and walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him silently.
The hall is dark, no sound anywhere. He slowly walks down the hall and creeps
down the stairs. His coat is on the bottom of the banister. He sits on the
stairs, pulling his shoes on quickly, then grabs his coat. He tosses another
look over his shoulder, then stands up, checking to make sure his keys are still
in his pocket. They are. He sighs with relief and starts down the last few
stairs. Round the landing at the bottom he freezes. His mother is standing
there, watching him. He stares back, not speaking. She walks towards him, a sad
smile on her face).
Laura: I figured you'd be out of here before the sun was up. (Lucky stares at
her, unsure of what to say) I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I said the wrong thing last
night. I keep saying the wrong thing. (She crosses the room to him) You're
right. It's the whole truth or nothing.
Lucky: I… I don't know… Maybe you're right.
Laura: No. No more secrets. (She holds something out to him. He looks down to
see she's holding his wallet) You'll need this.
Lucky: (hoarsely) Thanks.
Laura: I am so sorry, Lucky. (He nods, numb.) It'll all be over soon.
Lucky: I… (He turns away) I can't think about it right now.
Laura: All right. (They stay in silence, neither moving for a long moment) Will
you be back?
Lucky: I promised Lulu.
Laura: Ok.
Lucky: I… I have to go.
Laura: I know. (Lucky looks back at her. She looks tired. Probably stayed awake
all night worrying about him. He feels a lump in his throat, something he didn't
think was possible.) He will always love you, you have to believe that, Lucky.
(Lucky looks at her a moment. Then, before letting himself think about it too
much he moves to her and hugs her fiercely. Laura is shocked, but wraps her arms
around him, holding him close to her)
Lucky: (muffled) I do love you, you know. (Laura nods, unable to speak. Lucky
pulls back form the embrace, not looking at her, and turns. He crosses to the
door, and leaves the house without another look. Laura presses her hand hard
over her mouth and sinks onto the couch, letting herself cry silently in the
darkness).
* * *
Hannah's room.
Hannah opens her eyes at the noise of someone moving around the room. She looks
up and over at Nikolas, who has dressed. He smiles at her and moves over to the
bed, dropping to his knees next to her.
Nik: The sun is on the rise.
Hannah: What does that mean?
Nik: New day.
Hannah: (heavily) Oh, goody.
Nik: Come on.
Hannah: What?
Nik: Get dressed.
Hannah: WHY?
Nik: We can go up to the roof and watch the sunrise. (Hannah opens her mouth to
make some typical comment about romance vs. reality when she realizes what that
means. The roof. Wonderful… no bugs there! She smiles at him)
Hannah: Ok, I'm coming. (She rolls out of bed, dressing in record time. Nikolas
watches her, taking in her every movement. Something is really different about
her today. There's an energy that felt like it had been drained right out of her
ever since Helena appeared. Maybe she finally has some faith. Some belief that
it will be all right. She looks up at him, catching the thoughtful expression on
his face. She looks confused) What? (Nikolas holds out his arms and she smiles
at him. She can feel her heart swell at the gesture. All her life… Had anyone
ever done that? Ever opened their arms to her and wanted her to come into them?
She fights back tears. No tears, not today. Not for anyone. She walks towards
him, and buries herself against his chest, breathing in deeply. This has become
so achingly familiar in such short time. She closes her eyes and silently thanks
God for this moment. For this whole time, these strange stolen hours before
dawn. She had been feeling like he was drifting so far from her. Like there
wasn't a place for them anymore. But this feels real and right, and for a moment
she lets herself feel happy. This has to last. This is what they write about in
books. Someone who makes you feel safe, and loved and happy. That was all there
was, right? She feels Nikolas pull back, breaking the embrace and lets her arms
fall from around him. She gives him her absolute most convincing smile, and he
takes her hand. She follows him as he leads her through this horrible little
apartment she's lost all appreciation for. Once outside, she pulls the door shut
firmly behind her and leads him to the stairwell. He follows her now, still
holding her hand, as they climb the eight flights of stairs up to the roof. She
stops at the top and leans against the door, pulling him towards him and into a
kiss. She drinks him in, not able to understand how she could ever stand to
leave this if she didn't know she would come back to it. He presses against her,
in much the same way he always does. She wonders what it would be like to kiss
him goodbye if he knew that was what it was. But he'd never let her go. And
right now everything makes sense to her. If she leaves, then everything will
work out. She making an active choice, and for the first time things feel like
they might be going in a new direction. Before everything she decided just
backfired, got Emily injured, brought the wrath of Luke Spencer down on her
head, and lead to more threats from Helena. Well, watch her deal with this one.
She reaches behind her, still kissing Nikolas, and opens the door. It pushes
open to quickly, and they stumble, nearly falling, out the door and onto the
roof. She pulls back from him, laughing. God, it feels good to laugh. She turns
and walks to the edge of the roof, looking up at the sky.) Oh, for God's sake.
(Nikolas comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist)
Nik: Darn. Guess we missed it.
Hannah: (looking up at the sun) It's still got a little ways to go. (She leans
back against him) I'm more of a sunset person anyway. Sunsets in Greece. Those
are the most amazing. Nowhere else have I ever seen that. On the right day,
after it had been really warm and clear, it would go down and it looked like it
had set fire to the sea. I understood Greek Mythology after I went there. Why,
if you lived in a place with that much beauty, you'd have to figure out where it
came from. And it would have to be created by things that were bigger than life.
(She smiles to herself) Bigger than life, but still earthbound. Living on a
mountain… I love that. Gods on earth.
Nik: So you did love Greece?
Hannah: You want to know how much I loved Greece? I loved it so much that I
would do that all over again. I would go there, I would work for those people…
Even though it got me into this mess. (She turns around) Of course, it also led
to meeting you. And finding Emily.
Nik: Is that worth it too?
Hannah: It is. And it's going to be. I mean… This can't go on forever.
Nik: No. It can't. And I probably should have told you this a long time ago… My
Grandmother never wins. She never gets what she wants, not in the end. So she
won't this time either. (He sighs) I just have to find a way to get her to stop
trying.
Hannah: Good idea. When you think of something, let me know. (She pulls away
from him a moment, and leans over the barrier of the roof, looking down at the
street below. Nikolas joins her)
Nik: See anything interesting?
Hannah: Well, it's not the Aegean. (She looks back at him) You know I was
completely lying to you, right?
Nik: Yeah, I got that.
Hannah: good. Just checking.
Nik: God… You know what's really scary? If I hadn't known… I probably would have
believed you. I mean… I have no idea what's going on with him and Jason. And
then… The idea that he could get people in trouble.
Hannah: Oh, I added that. I thought she'd like it. You know, that he could get
Lulu hurt… I need to get her off my back a little.
Nik: yeah, well… (He leans against the edge) DID you ever see him involved with
anything like that?
Hannah: Are you kidding? Lucky is GUARDED. You see what he wants you to, and
nothing else.
Nik: (thinking of the previous afternoon) Sometimes you see more.
Hannah: well, you're his brother. (She looks at the barrier) You get to see more
than the rest of us mere mortals. (On a whim, she grips the barrier and pulls
herself up onto it, swinging her legs over the edge. Nikolas takes a sudden step
towards her, grabbing her. She screams, but with excitement rather than fear)
Hey! Watch it.
Nik: you want ME to watch it?
Hannah: I'm perfectly safe. (She kicks out her legs in front of him) Ohhhhh…
This feels freaky. Nothing below me for miles. (She leans back against Nikolas)
I could get used to this.
Nik: Well, you're scaring the hell out of me.
Hannah: Oh, come on. You've got a vice grip on me here. Let me have some fun,
I'm not going to die.
Nik: Don't even say that. (He lets go of her, and leans against the barrier, his
back to the street, so that he doesn't have to see just how far off the ground
she's sitting)
Hannah: Don't worry. I'm feeling omnipotent today.
Nik: Omnipotent? Well, hey. While you're in the mood, I have a few dozen
problems you can solve.
Hannah: Ask away. I'm feeling generous.
Nik: Ok… First of all, I totally blew it with Lucky yesterday. (Hannah looks
over at him, her face now serious)
Hannah: What happened?
Nik: He made this deal with me. Just business. And I pushed it too far.
Hannah: Let me guess. He freaked out.
Nik: Just a little.
Hannah: Hmmmm… Well, my advice is… Go see him.
Nik: I don't think that's a good idea.
Hannah: It's not an idea… You have to.
Nik: What… What's this about?
Hannah: You think… I saw Emily yesterday. I mean, she's tired and everything,
but they were going to move her out of the ICU today.
Nik: They moved her yesterday.
Hannah: Lucky still planning on running away with her?
Nik: Yeah. I think so.
Hannah: Tell him to do it fast. OR at least get her out of the hospital.
Nik: Hannah…
Hannah: Helena won't stop threatening her. Every other word out of her mouth is
“do it or I'll kill Emily”. But she can't do that if she doesn't know where she
is, right?
Nik: I…
Hannah: I don't know how dangerous it is, but I met Lucky's aunt, she's a nurse…
I mean, he's smart, he could find out some stuff from her, couldn't he?
Nik: Yeah. Yeah, he could.
Hannah: She just… She has to get somewhere safe. And fast. As soon as that
happens, the game changes.
Nik: The game. You have been talking to my grandmother.
Hannah: Too much. (She exhales heavily) Trust me. If he gets her out of the
hospital really quickly, then everything will be all right. She won't be able to
threaten me the same way.
Nik: No, she'll have you killed!
Hannah: Nikolas…
Nik: Does she think you're helping her? (Hannah smiles at him sadly. This is
going to be hard. But there's no way to tell him she'll be gone the minute she
knows Emily is safe.)
Hannah: If she didn't before, she does now. (Nikolas nods, taking this in)
Nik: I guess you're safe as long as she thinks you're scared of her.
Hannah: THAT I don't have to fake. (She puts her hand on his shoulder to steady
herself, and turns herself around, so that they are facing the same direction.
Nikolas reaches his other arm out and awkwardly assists her. She smiles at him
and he moves so that he is standing in front of her, gripping the barrier on
either side of her. She drapes her arms over his shoulders). But it's going to
be all right.
Nik: (heavily) I can't wait until this is over. (He looks at her seriously)
Everything will be different then. We'll… We'll start all over. (Hannah's upbeat
expression wavers)
Hannah: I…
Nik: Don't you want that?
Hannah: Nikolas… Before this is over, I'm probably going to have to do some
things you won't like.
Nik: I know… But it won't be you. I know that.
Hannah: Well, if you still want me when this is over, I WILL be here. I swear.
On my life, Nikolas. I'll be there.
Nik: (smiling) We can… We can have diner at the PC Grille. And take a walk in
the park. Together. You can meet my… family.
Hannah: Whoa…
Nik: Moving too fast?
Hannah: Too… It sounds so NORMAL.
Nik: What a concept!
Hannah: (softly) Actually, it sounds wonderful. Of course, everyone will know
I'm carrying on a scandalous affair with a much younger man…
Nik: Eight years. That's not scandalous.
Hannah: Maybe I WANT to be scandalous… I've always been kinda scandalous. That
would be a scandal I could be proud of. (She kisses him deeply, then pulls back.
He smiles at her and her heart swell while she feels tears come to her eyes) I
love you.
Nik: I know.
Hannah: (searching his face) Do you? Do you REALLY know that, Nikolas? Because I
have to know you believe me. I've never ever, my whole life, felt like this. I
can actually let myself hope with you. I can't… I cant even describe what that
means to me.
Nik: I believe you. I know… I know I was… I'm sorry about the docks. I was
angry.
Hannah: No, no. Don't be. Don't be sorry. I don't want you to regret any of your
time with me, please.
Nik: I don't!
Hannah: Ok, ok… But… When things get rough, I want you to know that you did see
me, the real me. Before Helena shows up and everything got crazy… That was as
close to me as I've ever been. The water fight and… All the things I told you
about my past, my childhood. That was the real me. Remember that.
Nik: I… (He looks at her oddly) I will. I do.
Hannah: We have to keep believing in each other. I do believe in you, Nikolas.
With everything I have. You're good and kind and you have so much love to give
people. (Nikolas looks momentarily pained) I know, maybe sometimes you feel like
no one wants it. I used to feel that way all the time. Like the people I loved
just didn't want that from me. But they do. They must. I can't imagine not
wanting to be loved. Not now that I've had it. And Lucky wants you to love him.
(Nikolas looks at her in shock) He does! You have to believe that. I think maybe
he even wants to love you. Just don't doubt it. It'll happen, if you have
patience with him.
Nik: I don't know…
Hannah: It will happen. It's started with Emily and me, and it has to finish. I
have faith in that.
Nik: You're just full of faith today.
Hannah: I got sick of self-pity. And fear. There's more to life than this.
Nik: Yeah.
Hannah: Do you remember when we first talked about Lucky?
Nik: Vividly.
Hannah: He still wants something from you. I'm sure of that.
Nik: What was it… Respect… Understanding.
Hannah: And love. (Nikolas shakes his head)
Nik: There's belief and then there's self-delusion.
Hannah: I said… find one…
Nik: The rest will follow. (He pulls her off the barrier and kisses her, long
and slow, exploring her, loving the feel of her. He had felt far away from her
last night… The night before. Even when they'd made love before this morning,
everything had felt uncertain, momentary… tainted. Tainted by what he'd tried to
keep away from it, his family. Now, things feel like they had at their best
moments. Better, even. He pulls back and stares at her, his hands sunk in her
hair) It's going to happen for us. I can feel it. There's too much I want to do.
I've only ever heard you sing once! (Hannah smiles)
Hannah: You want to hear me sing?
Nik: Always. I heard you once, and it was… Incredible. (She leans back against
the barrier)
Hannah: (singing softly, her voice low) “I love to sit beside you when the storm
has passed / and we don't know what happened but there's sweet peace at last. /
We'll be alright for awhile, / and someday we'll be free / And even if we both
still look puzzled let your face be the last one I see. / You drive me crazy /
with all the things you do and do not do / And I love you sooooooo much I'm
going to drive you crazy too”. (Nikolas looks at her, both touched and amused)
Nik: What was that?
Hannah: Just something that reminds me of you.
Nik: I drive you crazy?
Hannah: You drive me to blissful distraction. (Nikolas reaches out and gently
strokes her cheek)
Nik: I love you. You can say it now… You were adored once, too.
**** I DRIVE YOU CRAZY is written by Greg Brown, from his album DREAM CAFÉ ****
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