Chapter 14
Caroline and Shane drove in silence on the way. Every so often, Shane would
glance at Caroline. Caroline didn't notice his looks; she was too busy thinking
about Jason.
Shane was gripping the steering wheel so hard, that his knuckles were turning
chalky. Caroline was a talker at heart, and he knew that her lack of
communication was probably due to Jason. He never had to deal with Caroline's
feelings for someone else before, because it had never happened.
“Caroline, please don't waste your time thinking about Jason.”
Caroline glanced at Shane, but didn't bother asking him how he knew. Shane
always knew everything about her, so there was no use in trying to hide it.
“Shane, I told you that I think of Jason as more than just a friend, and you
said that you were fine with that. You said that we would TRY to get back to
where we once were.”
“I know what I said, but didn't think that you would be fantasizing about HIM,
when you are with ME!”
“Dammit Shane! What the hell do you what me to do? Just stop thinking about
Jason altogether? Just pretend that the months of yearning for his love and
attention didn't happen? Or do you want me to forget about all of the nights
which I cried myself to sleep, because I didn't have anyone beside me? Including
you!”
Shane stared straight ahead, trying to concentrate on the road. Caroline would
give hell to anyone, but it was rarely he who was the target. He hated
Caroline's anger and frustration, but he wasn't about to let the subject of
Jason drop.
“What's so good about him? Why does he mean that much to you? And what makes him
so much better than me?”
“He's not better than you, just different.”
“Damn straight!” Shane muttered.
“Shane, don't you dare try and pull that macho crap with me! You did it back
there at the Penthouse, and you're doing it now.”
“Wait a minute! I try to distinguish myself from a criminal, and I'm being a
jerk? You know Caroline, you were never the most objective person in the world,
but I never thought that you would let your hormones speak for you!”
“Shane stop the car.”
“What?”
“I said, stop the car.”
Shane signaled, and pulled over to the side of the road, then stared ahead, not
wanting to look at her.
“You know what Shane? I'm not the one who's not being objective. You're the one
using down there to think! When I said you and Jason were different, that's all
I meant. Shane, c'mon. For the last few years, we've both changed, and have been
with other people. I can't erase what happened since I left Florida, so why do
you expect me to?” Caroline unbuckled her seat belt, and turned to face Shane.
When he didn't respond, she touched his arm.
Shane took his hand off of the wheel, and gently caressed Caroline's cheek. “You
know, I love you. I don't think that I will ever feel the same about anyone
else, ever. You're warm, funny, independent, a fighter, sometimes a bitch… but I
love you.”
Caroline took his hand, which was touching her cheek, and put it to her mouth
and kissed his fingers, just like he had done the day before. “You know, you're
the only person who makes the word “Bitch” sound like an angel.”
“You are an angel, my angel,” Shane said, unbuckling his seatbelt, and kissing
her forehead.
“You know, most people would call Robin an angel.”
“Well, we're not *most people*. Besides, Robin doesn't even come close to you.”
Caroline smiled. Shane was the only one who had ever spoken to her like that,
and even though she tried to act as if nothing in the world touched her, Shane
always did. “Shane, what do you want me to say about Jason? Do I still love him?
Yeah, but I love you too. If you want me to choose, I thought I all ready did.
What else do you want me to do?”
“Nothing. I know I'm being an ass, but I never thought that it would hurt so
much. Of course you can't forget about Jason. You two have Michael, and will
always be connected, just like you and I are connected because of Eleyna. I
don't like Jason. I don't like the way he treats you, and I don't like the fact
that what he does for money puts you and Michael in danger. But if you want the
topic of Jason to be off limits, that's fine.”
“You know that the two of us have nothing that's off limits. You're one of the
few people who I can talk openly and honestly to about anything. I want to try
to be together as much as before… But not right away.”
“I know, and I'm sorry for pressuring you.”
“Hey, don't be sorry. You are who you are, and I wouldn't want you to stay
quiet. Besides, I like the fact that you're jealous. It keeps things
interesting,” Caroline said slyly.
Shane raised his eyebrows. “Oh, so you want *interesting* do you? Hmm… most
girls want romance, long talks, sensitivity, long walks on the beach, sex… But
not you, all you want is *interesting*. Can you define that for me? You know, I
wouldn't want to get it wrong,” Shane said flashing his irresistible grin.
“Oh you go to hell! You are so full of shit, you know that? Just drive!”
Caroline said laughing.
“Okay, I love you,” Shane said, leaning in to kiss her. Caroline returned the
kiss, then leaned back to put on her seat belt again. Shane did the same, then
looked in the mirror and saw Renaldo come out of the limo, and start to walk
toward their car.
“Caroline, you said you wanted interesting, so here you go.” Shane pulled out on
to the road quickly, and sped away. Caroline turned around and saw Renaldo
quickly running back to the limo, and started laughing. Oh how she had missed
Shane.
*********************
Jason picked up Michael from his playpen, and sat him down on the couch. Jason
then knelt in front of him, and let Michael play with his face, and tug at his
hair. Jason smiled. Michael loved playing with hair, but the only person's he
could really grab was his mother's. At the thought of Caroline's blond tresses,
Jason remembered the sweet smell of her hair. It was like flowers, and he
enjoyed the smell. Jason sighed, and picked Michael back up, and carried him to
the window.
“Michael, you have no idea how much your mother means to me. She gave me you,
and I will never forget that. Your mother and Robin are so different, but are
similar at the same time. They both taught me a lot about life. Robin showed me
how to live when I first woke up, and your mom taught me all of those things
again when she moved in here.”
Michael started to cry, and Jason gave him his pacifier.
“I don't know how to feel about your mother's boyfriend. I can tell that he
loves her, but… I'm not sure if he's right for her. I only want what's best for
her - and for you. I don't think that Shane Roberts is that person. I feel
protective of her, and I don't know why. I mean I do, but it’s not the same. I
used to think of her as the same way I thought of Emily. Not that Caroline and I
are brotherly to each other. I just knew that Caroline was part of my family.
Now, I don't know… she's more than just part of my family. I feel as if I'm
losing your mother. Her friendship, and everything she has to offer. She's been
back for three days, and it seems that she only has time for Shane. And for you.
But not for me, or at least not enough.”
Jason put Michael back into his playpen, and then sat down at his desk. He
picked up the picture of Caroline and Michael, and stared at it for a while. All
of a sudden, he knew. He knew that he was starting to fall in love with
Caroline. He tuned the picture over, and looked toward the stairs. Robin was
upstairs. He knew that he was still very much in love with Robin, and knew that
he would never do anything to hurt her. He looked over to the coffee table, and
picked up a fashion scarf, which belonged to Caroline. He smelled it, letting
the scent of her body fill his sense. He then folded the scarf, sat down on the
couch, and rested his head in his hands. It didn't matter. He wouldn't end up
hurting anyone. Caroline wanted Shane, and he wanted Caroline to be happy. He
wouldn't do anything to make Caroline hate him. And he wouldn't do anything that
may destroy his relationship with Robin.
Jason looked at Michael, and sighed. He knew that he couldn't just decide that
he would ignore his feeling for Caroline, and it would happen. But he didn't
have a choice. If he did something, he would probably end up losing the two
women whom he loved: Robin and Caroline.
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