Chapter 20
Caroline opened one eye as she woke up and felt the warm morning sun, streaming
on her face. She then sat up to rub her eyes, which were now burning. Here nose
was stuffed and her throat was dry, due to her continuous crying the night
before. She had thrown herself on her bed, and had cried herself to sleep, after
her “coming out” conversation with Jason. As she thought about Jason's words of
love toward her, she got the sick feeling of dismay and confusion as the night
before, and Caroline didn't know if she could face him just yet.
She tucked a golden lock of hair behind her ear, then stared at her right hand.
She was still wearing her engagement ring. Caroline took it off, then observed
how the diamond glittered and shone, as it reflected the rays of sunlight.
Looking at the ring always brought back many memories, which she and Shane had
shared. She kissed the ring, and started to cry again. She had no idea if she
had made the right decision by picking Shane over Jason. Not once, but twice.
She needed some sort of sign to let her know that she didn't screw up. She
looked at her phone, stared at it for a few seconds, then picked it up. She read
the number to the Port Charles Hotel, which was scribbled on a piece of paper
beside the phone, and started to dial.
“Hello?” Shane said after a few rings.
“Hello yourself” Caroline said, trying to control the butterflies which were
flying around inside of her.
“Caroline? Hey Cinderella, are you okay? You sound kind of upset” Shane said
concerned.
Caroline smiled as she heard his pet name for her. She probably wouldn't let
anyone else call her a nickname like that, but Shane had been calling her that
since they were eight years old, when playing fantasy games. Carly was Sleeping
Beauty, Caroline was Cinderella, and Shane was always the prince who they both
fought over. All three of their parents used to continue to call them Sleeping
Beauty, Cinderella and Prince, but stopped when they were about 12. Shane was
the only one who continued to call Caroline that. As soon as she heard
“Cinderella,” she felt a familiar and loving sensation, that only Shane could
provide. She knew at once, that she had made the right decision. “I'm fine.
Actually, right now, I'm better than fine.”
‘You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“My calling you Cinderella didn't…”
“I loved it. It makes me feel special, and I need that right now. I guess I
never realized how much I missed it.”
“I'm glad. You have no idea how much I've missed kissing you every morning and
calling you that .”
“Well, I have a pretty good idea. I probably miss it just as much.”
“Are you sure you're okay? Please don't try and lie to me. I know from your tone
that something's wrong” Shane asked concerned.
Caroline sighed. She didn't feel like telling Shane about her fight with Jason
right now. She also remembered that today was the day that the paternity test
would be done, and decided to tell him that. “Jason and AJ are going to have a
paternity test done with Michael today.”
“What? I thought AJ didn't know?”
“Yeah well, AJ found out somehow that his blood type can work with Michael, so
he used his Quartermaine connections to get a court order for the test. Jason
said not to worry, but…”
“…But you can't help it” Shane finished.
“Exactly. I don't know how Jason can be so calm about it. I have this horrible
feeling that AJ will find out, no matter what Jason tries to do. And if AJ finds
out the truth, I will die. He may sue for custody… and he will probably win. I
don't know how I will deal with losing another child.”
“Listen, I don't like what Jason does. But if he has connections that will get
you out of this… judges, lawyers, whatever… maybe you should just trust him. I
don't like him, but I know that he loves Michael. I don't think that he would
let Michael go without a fight.” He paused for a moment. “Are you going with
them to the hospital?”
“Uh, I guess so. I think that I should be there.”
“Yes, you should. Do you want me to come along? I know that I wouldn't be much
use, but…“
“That would mean so much to me, if you come. Just you being there would make me
feel better. Thank you.”
“Why do you always thank me for loving you? I don't choose to love you. Its
something I do without thinking. You know that I wouldn't have anything without
you.”
“You always say that,” Caroline said with a smile.
“And I always mean it,” Shane said tenderly. “When do you want me to come over?”
“An hour… hour and a half?”
“Okay, I'll be there. See you later.”
“Bye,” Caroline said and hung up. She put back on her ring and smiled. Shane
always managed to make her feel better, no matter what the situation was. She
then got up from her bed to get ready to face the day. First she would have to
deal with Jason, and then with AJ.
**********************
Caroline took a deep breath before quietly descending down the stairs. She was
nervous about seeing Jason. When she saw him, their eyes met for a few seconds,
before she looked away. Caroline went over to Michael and picked him up. She
walked around the penthouse holding her son, while feeling Jason's eyes on her.
“I called a doctor at Mercy Hospital to do the tests. I thought that it would be
better if we stayed away from GH. The appointment is for later this morning,”
Jason said quietly.
“Oh. Does AJ know?” Caroline asked, not looking at him.
“Not yet. I'm going to call him in a few minutes.”
“Oh.”
“The silence stretched, and both Caroline and Jason grew more uncomfortable in
each other's presence. The scene from the night before played back in each of
their minds, resulting in their emotions to rise up again. Caroline looked at
Jason, who was just sitting there, watching her. She kissed Michael, placed him
in his playpen, then sat down on the coffee table, directly in front of Jason.
“I don't think that there's anything in the world that can be said or done to
erase what happened last night, or how we feel,” Caroline said softly, taking
his hand into hers.
“You're right, there's nothing, so lets just drop it,” he replied, pulling back
his hand, and standing up.
“DROP IT? Dammit Jason, you can really be an insensitive bastard at times, you
know that? WE both admitted that we loved each other, and you want to just drop
it?”
“Caroline what the hell do you want me to do? You want me to yell and cry? I all
ready did that. You want an apology? FINE! I'm sorry. Are you happy now?”
“What type of question is that? Jason, do you think I'm happy? I've been trying
to sort out my feelings for both you and Shane. And it’s tearing me apart. I
don't want to hurt either of you. Jason, I love you, but I love Shane also. I
can't help that. I don't want you to yell or cry, or apologize for anything. I
just want you to understand.”
“Actually, I understand perfectly. You chose Shane,” Jason said, his voice void
of any emotion.
Caroline got up, and walked over to him. “Yeah, I chose Shane. And you would
have chosen Robin. You still love her, and you wouldn't have dumped her that
quickly. I know that, because there's no way that I would have done the same to
Shane.”
“Why not? You did it to him before.”
“No. I didn't walk out on Shane. I walked out in my life. It hurt like hell when
he slept with that woman, but here was no way that I would let a drunken one-
night stand destroy years of love. I t was me, Jase, not him. I was the problem.
If I were just mad at Shane, I wouldn't have let Florida. But at the time, I
couldn't stand to be there. Everything in Florida made me hurt. The apartment
Shane and I had lived in was full of toys, clothes and furniture for a baby that
we never got to bring home. The parks in the area were the same parks Shane and
I went to when we were younger, and where I thought Eleyna would have played.”
Caroline walked over to the window, and looked out.
“But most of all, it was the people. Everyone kept on telling me how sorry. They
were about Eleyna's death, they were sorry for our pain, they were sorry that we
postponed the wedding, and they were sorry that they couldn't do anything to
help. But all of the sympathy card. Gifts, hugs and kisses couldn't help or
erase the pain. Leaving at the time I did, was just when I got totally
overwhelmed. What Shane did wasn't the deciding factor. And you know, when I
left, I had every intention of going back to Shane.”
“Then why didn't you?”
Caroline sighed, and thought for a while before answering. “I guess I got too
interested in Bobbie. She was the mother who had given me up. If she had kept
me, then my life would have been so different. I wouldn't have loved Shane and
lost Eleyna.” She paused before continuing.
“But I guess I stayed, because I was finally being independent. Shane was always
my other half. He was always in my life, always there. I think that I just
wanted to find out if I could make it without him. I guess I could. But I still
need and love Shane. The same applies to you.”
Jason looked at her for a moment, then looked away. He didn't say anything,
because he didn't know what to say.
“Would you have picked me over Robin?” Caroline asked quietly.
“I don't know.”
Caroline turned away from him, and bit her lip. She then realized with a sinking
feeling that a part of her had wanted Jason to say yes. But in her mind, she
knew that Jason probably wouldn't have picked her over Robin. “Then I guessed I
proved my point. Our timing was just off.”
Jason studied her back. He knew that he loved both Caroline and Robin, and that
he couldn't choose between them. They were both strong willed and had qualities
which appealed to him. He had never thought that he could love two women at the
same time. But there was no decision to make. Caroline had already done that.
“I'm going to call AJ,” he said quietly, leaving the room.
Caroline sighed, and sat down at the table. She knew that things between her and
Jason would never be the same again, and she didn't know how to fix it. She
turned her head to look at Michael, and smiled as he held out his arms and
babbled. Caroline picked him up, along with a stuffed dinosaur and started to
play with him.
A few minutes later, the penthouse door opened, and Robin flounced in. “I'm
home,” she announced.
“Congratulations. What the hell do you want? A standing ovation?” Caroline
muttered under her breath.
Robin put down her overnight bag and glared. “I heard that.”
“Well at least we know that you're not deaf,” Caroline responded rolling her
eyes.
“So where's Jason?”
“On the phone,” Caroline answered, shifting her hold on Michael.
“Oh. So tell me, how's Shane? Did you two have a good time yesterday?” Robin
asked in an extra sweet tone.
“As if you care.”
“You see, I try to be nice, and you act like a bitch.”
“No, Robin, I don't *act* like a bitch. I *am* a bitch, and damn proud of it.
And as for Shane, he's none of your business.”
“What the hell is your problem Caroline? Did he finally realize that you're a
worthless wench?,” Robin shot back.
“YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! I am not in the mood, especially today! So go serve
your holier than thou crap to someone who can actually stand you!”
“What's happening today?” Robin asked innocently, with a smile.
Caroline looked around for something to throw at her, but the coffee table was
bare, and the cushions wouldn't do enough damage. She exhaled loudly, and
decided to tell Robin about the paternity test. If she didn't do it, then Jason
would. “AJ and Jason are getting paternity tests done today at Mercy Hospital,
due to a Quartermaine court order,” she said wearily.
“What? How did that happen?” Robin asked, sitting down.
“He somehow found out that he could be Michael's father, and acted on it.”
Robin chewed her lip as she let the news digest. She knew how much Michael meant
to Jason, but she also knew that Michael was his only real connection to
Caroline. When AJ found out the truth, he would sue for custody. And whether he
won or not, he would be the one to take Jason's place as Michael's father.
“Caroline may even move out, now that she's with Shane. Once the truth is out,
she won't have a reason to live here,” Robin thought with a wicked smile.
“You know, this may be a good thing. AJ deserves to know the truth. Michael is
his son, and he should have the chance to be part of his life. Every child
should have the opportunity to be loved by his or her natural parents.”
“What the hell is that? The gospel according to Robin? What type of world do you
live in anyway? Not all children are loved by their biological parents! And
biological love isn't better than love given by anyone else. Adoptive parents,
stepparents, and foster families can love just as much as natural parents. I
know that you think that AJ finding out would be great for you, but do you have
to set stupid generalizations? C'mon Robin, I wouldn't expect even *YOU* to say
anything so thoughtless. You know that Jason couldn't love Michael anymore, even
if he was his own son. My adoptive mother loved me with all of her heart and
soul, and even you know what it’s like to be loved in a parental way by someone
who didn't create you. Isn't Mac like a second father to you? Doesn't he love
you as a father? Don't you even try to get out of this one, and pull that “its
not the same” garbage with me!”
Robin sighed, and immediately felt guilty. She knew that Caroline was right, as
much as she hated to admit it. She hadn't really meant it. She had just wanted
to get under Caroline's skin. “You're right. I'm sorry. I just…”
“You just wanted to piss me off. You know what Robin? I don't care what you say
about me. But don't you dare get started with me on Michael. He is none of your
concern, and if I remember correctly, you have been keeping the truth from AJ
also. And would you please do us all a favor, and get off of your mile high
shinning pedestal? You are NOT always right, you DON'T know all there is to know
about everything, and you don't know Jason as well as you think you do.”
“What do you mean by that?” Robin asked angrily.
“I mean, sweetheart, that you are completely delusional if you think that Jason
would EVER let AJ take Michael away from us.”
Caroline would have said more, but there was a knock on the penthouse door, and
Shane came in. She smiled, relived to get her mind off of Robin, and went toward
him. “Thank you for coming,” she said, giving him a light kiss and a hug.
“You know that I'll always be here for you,” Shane replied, returning the hug.
He looked over her shoulder, and saw Jason enter the room. He stared at Jason
coldly, then gave Caroline another kiss.
Jason started at Caroline and Shane's embrace feeling sick and hurt. He
understood that Caroline needed love and support, but he didn't want Shane
providing it.
“Are we going to go? I know that today is a really bad day for you. I'm sorry
you have to go through this,” Shane said softly to Caroline.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Well, all that‘s happening today, are the tests. The results won't be in. At
least the day can't get any worse, right?,” Shane said, trying to make her feel
better.
“Are you kidding? You haven't met AJ yet.”
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