Chapter 21
Jason stepped out of the hospital elevator at Mercy, holding Michael. Following
them were Caroline and Shane, who were holding hands. The three adults had been
relatively silent in the limo, on the way to the hospital. Jason and Caroline
were still uncomfortable in each other's presence, and Shane had sat back and
observed them.
“Room 207 is that way,” Caroline said, reading off of the scrap of paper which
Jason had written the time and place of the appointment.
Jason nodded, and proceeded down the hall, wordlessly. Caroline started to
follow, but Shane held her back. He looked at her with questioning eyes, wanting
to know what was going on between her and Jason. Caroline shook her head. “Not
now,” she whispered and started walking.
When Shane and Caroline got to the doctor's office, they found Jason talking to
the receptionist. He turned around to look at them, and shifted Michael to his
other arm. “We have to sit down and wait for AJ to show up. I'm going to fill
out these medical forms,” he said as he took a seat.
Caroline nodded and sat down in the seat, which was farthest away from Jason,
and stared at the shiny floor. Shane looked between Caroline and Jason, his
curiosity building. He knew that Caroline was upset, but she didn't seem
particularly angry. He sat down I the seat beside Caroline, and put his arm
around her. Caroline raised her eyes to meat Shane's and gave his a wry smile.
She knew that Shane had figured that something was up with her and Jason, but
she was relieved that he wasn't about to bring it up in Jason's presence.
Caroline, Jason and Shane sat in silence and watched Michael play with his
stuffed dinosaur, and try to talk to it. A few minutes later, the door opened,
and AJ walked in. AJ first saw Jason holding Michael, and glared at him. Jason
returned the cold stare, saying nothing. AJ then turned around, and saw
Caroline, with Shane's arms around her protectively. He looked in Caroline's
eyes and saw a mixture of sadness and nervousness, which was expected of her. It
was Shane's expression, however, which surprised him. Shane was glaring at him
with open hostility, his eyes narrow, and his mouth in a straight line.
AJ walked up to Shane, ignoring Caroline. “Hello, I'm AJ Quartermaine,” he said,
holding out his hand.
Shane looked at the outstretched hand, but made no move to shake it. “Why don't
you just take a seat until the doctor is ready to start” he said icily.
AJ rolled his eyes. “Well, Caroline, I've got to hand it to you. You sure know
how to pick ‘em. Why is it that you always seem to be with guys with one facial
expression, and who don't do small talk?”
“As a matter of fact, I am rather fond of the strong silent type. They're
amazing in bed. I find that the verbally inclined are all talk, and no real
action,” Caroline replied with a smile.
“Yes, and you should know. You've probably screwed all the different types and
personalities out there,” AJ shot back.
Shane got out of his seat in a flash, and rushed toward AJ. “What the hell did
you just say?” he asked angrily.
“Shane,” Caroline said, standing up and holding on to his arm. “Forget it. Just
let it go.”
“FORGET IT? Caroline, this son bastard just implied that you are promiscuous!”
he said as Caroline pilled him away from AJ.
“Oh, I didn't mean to imply that she was *promiscuous*. I meant to imply that
she was a *slut*!” AJ said spitefully.
Shane started out towards him again, but was hindered by Caroline pulling at
him. Jason, however, had put Michael down, and had gotten to AJ first. Jason
grabbed AJ by the collar, and started to speak in a low, threatening voice. “I
warned you about disrespecting the people I love. And I promise you AJ, you will
pay.”
AJ glared at him, not backing down. “Oh get off of it Jason,” he said, pushing
his brother away. “What do you know about respect and honor? You kill people for
a living! And I didn't insult anyone that you loved. Just Caroline. It’s not as
if you love her. I doubt anyone can.”
Jason let go of AJ and looked away. But not before AJ caught the flicker in his
brother's eyes. “I don't have to justify my feelings to anyone, least of all
you. Caroline is part of my life, and Michael's mother. You don't have to be
best friends with her, but you don't have to act like an insensitive jerk all
the time either. You claim to care for Michael. If you do, then show some
decency to the woman who brought him into the world.”
Jason turned back and walked back to Michael, leaving AJ to stare at Shane and
Caroline. Shane tried to move past Caroline, towards AJ. “You better apologize
to her!” Shane demanded angrily.
“After all of the disgusting things that she has done to me, you want ME to
apologize to HER? Am I the only person left with any set of moral codes?” AJ
responded.
Not liking the answer he got, Shane got around Caroline, and pushed AJ into the
wall. Caroline scrambled after him, and started to pull at his arm. “SHANE STOP
IT!” she shouted, as the receptionist disappeared into one of the back rooms.
“SHANE!” Caroline repeated, moving in front of him, and looking into his eyes.
“Please, not here, okay? He has a right to be angry, so please don't go after
him… yet.”
“Excuse me, but is there a problem?” a male voice asked.
Caroline, Jason, AJ and Shane all turned around to find and elderly doctor in a
white lab coat. He didn't look very happy.
“NO! There is no problem, right?” Caroline said, glancing at AJ.
AJ shrugged his shoulders, but gave no reply.
“Right?” she repeated softly, looking at Shane. She stared at him, silently
begging him to drop this. Shane nodded, put his arms around her, and pulled her
into a close embrace. Over her head, he gave AJ the finger.
“Bite me” AJ mouthed.
Jason cleared his throat. “Everything's fine, doctor. Can we get started?”
The doctor looked around the waiting room, then reluctantly nodded. “The
appointment was made to determine paternity of a baby boy, was it not?” he
asked.
“Yes, that's correct,” Jason replied, putting a pacifier into Michael's mouth.
“Okay. Is the paternity questionable between two men… or three?” he asked
unsure, glancing between AJ, Jason and Shane.
“Well, we're not exactly sure. The mother has a thing for sleeping with any man
she sees. So, in reality, any man within 100 feet of her during the week of
conception may be eligible. But sine Jason and I are the only ones who she like
to make trouble for, I'd say that that its just between the two of us,” AJ said.
Shane didn't waste a second, and this time, Caroline couldn't stop him. “You son
of a bitch!” he growled, as he punched AJ in the face.
Jason gave Michael to the receptionist, and he and the doctor separated Shane
and AJ. “Cool it,” Jason said coldly, holding Shane back.
“Listen I'm going to have to ask you to leave this office, or I will call
security,” the doctor said, looking at Shane. This is a doctor's office, not a
bar.”
Shane shrugged off Jason's hold on him, and glared at AJ. “I'll wait outside in
the hall,” he said, turning around to leave.
Caroline watched him go, then turned to AJ and Jason. “Can we please just get
this over with, now? Just go and give the blood and tissue samples so that we
can leave quickly.”
“Yes, I agree,” the doctor said quickly, letting go of AJ, and moving away. He
went over to the receptionist's desk, and got an empty folder, along with the
forms which Jason had filled out. He quickly looked over the papers, then looked
up again. “Mr. Morgan, would you take Michael to room #1, and would you sir…”
“…Alan Junior Quartermaine…”
“Yes. Would you please go into room # 2? I will first do Mr. Morgan and Michael,
then I will do you. I don't believe that you filled out any of your medical
forms, so please do so now,” the doctor said, holding out a few papers, a
clipboard and a pen.
“Fine,” AJ said, taking the forms and walking to the room which he was assigned
to.
The receptionist handed Michael back to Jason, and answered the phone. A few
seconds later, she handed the phone to the doctor. Caroline and Jason stood
facing each other, and looked at the other wearily.
“Well, we both know that today wasn't going to be easy,” Caroline said as she
attempted a small, dry laugh.
“Yeah. So, are you okay?” he asked softly.
Caroline nodded. “I'm okay. Definitely not great, but okay. You?”
“There's about a million thing that I'd rather be doing right now. Michael too.”
Jason said kissing Michael's head.
“You could say that again.” Caroline bit her lip, unsure of what to say next.
“I, um, should probably go to Shane. He only acted that way because he has
always been protective of me.”
“I am too.”
“Yeah, I've noticed,” she said with a smile. “You better get going.”
“Yeah,” Jason said, trying to read her.
Caroline moved closer to her son, and kissed Michael on the cheek. She smoothed
his red hair, then kissed his hands.
“Caroline, don't worry. I promised you that everything would be okay. Regardless
of what the results may or may not prove, it will be okay. Believe me, okay?”
Caroline took a deep breath, trying to control her nerves. “Okay.”
Jason brushed a lock of hair from over her eyes, and moved closer to her.
Caroline closed her eyes, waiting for Jason's next move. She felt Jason's hot
breath on her face, and the tingle that his fingers produced, which was being
traced on her cheeks. She then felt the soft, pleasurable feel of his lips… her
forehead. She opened her eyes, and raised them to look into his. No matter how
much she tried to hide it, she knew that her feelings for Jason were strong. And
he knew it too. She slowly backed away from him, and found her way to the door.
She turned the knob, and stared to exit, still staring at Jason, and never once
turning her back.
Caroline shut the door, then turned around, closed her eyes, and leaned back
against the wall. She couldn't believe that she had waited and expected Jason to
kiss her. The night before, she thought that she had made up her mind about what
she was going to do concerning the romance component of her life, but now she
wasn't sure. Jason always seemed to screw up her mind. She opened her eyes, to
find Shane sitting in a chair across the hall. She smiled at him, and went to
him as he held out his arms. She sat on his lap, and said nothing as he looked
at her.
“I acted like a jerk in there, didn't I?” he asked.
“Well, you didn't have to turn into Conan the Barbarian, but, I know that you
were just trying to protect and stand up for me. Don't worry about it. I doubt
that you and AJ would ever have ended up as friends.”
“Do you like him?”
“AJ? Well, I used to. He even used to like me. We used to be friends. He was
someone I could talk to. I miss that, and I miss the friendship we could have
had. But I messed up. I had to protect my baby. If I had a choice, I would do
things differently. The thing is, I don't think that anything I could have or
would have done would make a difference. AJ wants Michael. I wish that I wasn't
in the mess that I'm in now, but there's nothing I could do about it. AJ was a
really great friend. It was me who was horrible. I'm not sorry for doing
whatever I could to protect my child, and I'm not sorry that I asked Jason to be
Michael's father. I'm just sorry that AJ is so bitter about it. He has every
right to be though. Now, he doesn't like me, and I don't really like him.”
Caroline took a deep breath and bit her lip.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I guess I'm just nervous about this whole paternity test thing. I don't
know what I will do if AJ finds out.”
Shane took her hand into his, and kissed it. “Are you sure you're only upset
about AJ? Because I think I detected some tension between you and Jason
earlier.”
Caroline sighed, then took his hand and kissed it. “Um… last night, I was really
upset about the conversation we had about Carly, and the fact that AJ had served
a court order. I mentioned to Jason that dancing always made me forget my
problems, so he asked me to dance.”
Shane tensed. “Just dance?”
Caroline chewed on her bottom lip. “That's all I thought was going to happen.
Just a friendly dance.”
“What happened?” Shane asked softly, not sure if he wanted her to go on.
“We danced. First we started to dance, you know, daring each other, showing our
moves. Well, Jason isn't very good at dancing to fast music, so we slowed it
down a little. Then a lot. Then he kissed me.”
Shane was silent. He turned his head, so that he wouldn't have to look at her.
Caroline got up and crunched to the other side of the chair where his face was
turned to. Shane turned his head again, but then got up also. He turned and
started to walk down the hall.
“Shane, listen to me. It all happened so fast,” Caroline said, trying to catch
up with him.
“Did you kiss him back?” he asked, still walking straight.
“Shane…” Caroline started to say helplessly.
“Did you?”
“Shane stop walking.”
Shane stopped, but didn't turn around to face her. Caroline moved around, and
positioned herself in front of him.
“Yes. Yes, I kissed back. But that's not all that happened.”
“You know, I really don't want to hear the rest,” Shane said trying to sidestep
her.
“Shane listen to me!” Caroline said, holding on to him. “I ended the kiss, and I
told him that it wasn't right for us. I told him that you and I are together
now, and that I want to concentrate on you.”
Shane shifted his eyes, away from hers. “Why did he kiss you? He has a
girlfriend. You have said over and over again that he only thinks of you as a
friend. So why then did he kiss you?”
Caroline didn't know if she wanted to tell Shane the truth. If she told Shane
that Jason said he loved her, she was afraid that Shane would back out of their
relationship. She was confused about her feelings, but she didn't want to mess
up her second chance. “I don't know. It didn't mean anything.”
“You're lying. And it’s not only your eyes which are giving you away. It was
your actions. Both, yours and Jason's. All morning you two have been wary and
paranoid about each other. You two hardly even looked at each other while we
were coming here. For a kiss that didn't mean anything, it sure seems to cause a
lot of tension,” Shane said, rubbing his eyes. “Please, just tell me the truth.”
Caroline counted to ten silently, hoping that she could quickly come up with an
answer. But she had no response, except the truth. “Jason thinks that he loves
me. I mean… he said that he was in love with me. That's why he kissed me.”
Shane exhaled, not realizing until then, that he had been holding his breath. He
closed his eyes for a moment, and was silent. When he reopened them, they were
filled with tears. “He loves you. And you love him. The only reason that you
chose me, was because you couldn't have Jason. I knew that, and I didn't care. I
wanted you, anyway that I could have you. I guess I had hoped that he would
never have feeling s for you. I know that's crazy, because any guy would be out
of their mind not to be attracted to you.”
“Shane, listen. So he claims to have feelings for me. Well, he also has feelings
for Robin. And you know that I have feelings for him, but I feel the same way
about you. Yes, maybe the fact that Jason didn't seem interested in me had an
impact on my choice, but that wasn't the only reason. There was US. OUR
memories, OUR plans, OUR hopes… and our daughter. Shane, we both wanted a second
chance; hell we DESERVED a second chance. I can't… I can't…” Caroline paused to
wipe a tear, and to figure out how to explain her feelings.
“I can't change anything. I can't change my choices, my decisions, my actions or
my thoughts. Jason and I have a special relationship. It is so different from
anything I have ever experienced… but so is my relationship with you. I love
Jason. I don't know if I'm *in* love with him, but I do love him. With you, I
know what to expect. I love you. I may not be in love with you now, but I used
to be. I know that what we had was real, and that we could capture it again.”
“Caroline, please don't do this for my benefit. I want you to be happy. You
deserve that. And if there's a chance that Jason would make you happy, then go
for it.”
“You don't want me with him.”
“You're right, I don't. I don't like him. But I love you. I want you to have
what you've always wanted. Love. I love you, but you wouldn't be happy if you
really didn't love me in the same way. I hate him. I hate him with such a
passion, it scares me. And the only reason, is because he's in your heart, just
as much as I am. You have no idea how much I would love to call Michael mine. I
would love to marry you, and love you forever. That fantasy won't even stand a
chance if you're unsure. I want you to be sure. So maybe, if I just back off,
you would be able to sort out your feelings.”
“No. No. There is no way in hell I'm going to let you walk away from me. I did
that to you,” Caroline said, crying. “I don't know how I feel. I do know that
right now I have to be with you. YOU. Maybe its not meant to be, but dammit
Shane, we have to try. I left you once, and I will not let you leave me. Not
now. Jason will be an obstacle for me. I can't make any promises about him. My
feelings for him have been up and down since I first met him, so they won't go
away easily. Shane, when I want something, I go after it. You know that. If I
really wanted to be with Jason, I would have picked him from the start. If he
loved me or not, I would have gone after him. But I picked you, so there must
have been something more than just love. I don't understand what I'm feeling
right now.” Caroline paused for a few seconds. “It’s not fair for me to put you
through this. I can't promise you anything, and it’s not easy for me. If you
want out, that's okay. I don't want to hurt you. I would just rather you left,
than have me hurt you again.”
Shane pulled Caroline close and hugged her tightly. “I won't leave, not if you
want me to stay. I think that I may feel worse leaving, because I would never
know if we could have made it. We've always planned ahead, but this seems a good
time to live day by day. Even if you eventually do pick Jason, I want to know
that I tried. And I don't want to miss a second of you. I love you too much.”
“I know. I love you too. No matter what I do or say, I know that I love you. And
right now, I just want to focus all of my attention on you and Michael. Nobody
else.” Caroline kissed him softly, and Shane kissed back. The kiss continued,
and became more passionate. When they finally broke it off, Caroline was feeling
warm and safe inside. She smiled at Shane and was about to say something, when
she noticed him staring above her head. She whirled around, and found Jason
holding Michael, who had just come out of the office. Caroline's eyes met with
Jason's. In his eyes was hurt, anger, love… and then finally… acceptance. He
knew that for now, he had lost.
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