bewitched, bothered, bewildered

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered
2/10/98
guest stars: Seth Green (Oz), Kristine Sutherland (Joyce Summers), Elizabeth Anne Allen (Amy), Robia LaMorte (Jenny Calendar), Mercedes McNab (Harmony), James Marsters (Spike), Juliet Landau (Drusilla)
Writer: Marti Noxon
Director: James A. Contner

Synopsis: While hunting vampires in the graveyard, Xander shows Buffy the necklace her brought Cordelia for Valentines Day. Buffy thinks it's beautiful, but asks if Cordelia will know what it is. Xander asks when they are going to stop making fun of him for dating Cordy, and Buffy replies never. Buffy tells him that she thinks he could do better, but Xander replies that the only other girl he is interested in is...unavailable. Xander says that he wishes dating were more like slaying, straight forward, and at that moment a vampire attacks whom Buffy promptly slays after a brief fight. Buffy says that slaying is more perilous than dating, to which Xander replies "You're obviously not dating Cordelia."
.......... As Cordelia walks into school, she is ignored by the group that she calls her friends, including Harmony. When she finally catches their attention, they make fun of her for dating Xander. Cordelia tries to cover but is obviously hurt.
.......... In class, the teacher instructs all the students to turn in their papers or they will receive an "F". Xander gloats that "no F for Xander today, no, this baby's my ticket to a sweet D-." Buffy and Willow greet Amy, who asks about their Valentines Day plans. Willow gleefully responds with "my boyfriends in the band," but Buffy isn't so thrill, and Amy sympathizes. "Bad breakup, huh." They turn in their papers and leave, but Amy just stares at the teacher for a moment, and then she accepts a paper that isn't there. Xander looks on in surprise.
.......... In the hall, Willow commiserates with Buffy about the loss of Angel, and Xander tells her that he thinks Amy's into witchcraft. Giles approaches Buffy, and Ms. Calendar comes out at the same time. There is a brief awkward silence before Ms. Calendar asks if Giles has a minute. He says no, he has to speak with Buffy, and they leave. It is clear that Buffy is still upset with Ms. Calendar. Ms. Calendar walks off alone.
.......... In the library, Giles and Buffy comfort each other, and Giles informs her that Angelus is prone to brutal displays of "affection," but doesn't go into specifics. He tells Buffy to stay off the streets, and that he'd pick up the slack.
.......... In the warehouse, Spike gives Drusilla a gold necklace. Before he can finish his sentence, though, Angelus enters and gives Drusilla a human heart that he got "from a quaint little shop girl." He puts the necklace on Dru, much to Spike's ire. Spike tells Angelus that he should worry less about Dru and more about Buffy. Angelus wonders how to send his regards, and when Spike suggests ripping her lungs out Angelus says it "lacks poetry." Dru tells Spike "don't worry, Angel always knows what speaks to a girls heart..."
.......... At the Bronze during the dance, Willow gazes at Oz adoringly, while Xander nervously fingers the box with Cordy's necklace. Cordy enters, looking ravishing in her black and red dress, but is shunned by her "friends." This time, she is visible upset.
.......... At Buffy's, Buffy and her mom are watching old movies when a knock comes to the door. There is no one there, but when Buffy comes back her mom is gone. Buffy goes into the kitchen, and is startled by her mom coming in the back door with a box that been delivered for Buffy. Inside are a dozen roses and a note saying "soon."
.......... Back at the dance, Cordelia sits alone and obviously upset. Xander comes over to him, and she compliments his looks. He says "I let Buffy dress me...Not physically." She is not happy, however, but before he can say anything he tells her that, while everything started out as pent up lust, maybe it's grown into something more, and gives her the necklace. (Editors note–Xander knows the meaning of the word "wherefore!") Cordelia is touched, and dumps him. Xander is obviously upset, and says "do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentines Day." Cordelia apologizes, and Xander walks off angry, leaving Cordy near tears.
.......... The next day at school, Xander is mocked by a lot of people, including Harmony who says "gee, Xander, maybe you should learn a second language so even more girls can reject you. Cordelia, sitting near, doesn't laugh. Xander, unwilling to take anymore, spies Amy and pulls her aside.
.......... Xander accuses Amy of being a witch, and at first she tries to deny it but Xander doesn't beat around the bush. He tells her that he's going to blackmail her, that he wants some respect and "the Hellmouth to be working for me for a change." Looking at Cordelia, he tells her "You and me, Amy. We're gonna cast a little spell." Amy isn't sure, especially when she learns that he doesn't want her to love him forever, just long enough for him to dump her. Amy says "the intent has to be pure," to which Xander replies "I intend revenge. Pure as the driven snow." Suddenly Amy gets a "this could be fun" look on her face, and tells Xander she needs a personal item.
.......... In the library, Buffy confronts Giles about the note. Buffy demands some answers, and Giles agrees. In the hall, Cordelia turns away when she sees Xander approaching, but Xander catches her and demands the necklace back. When she says "I thought it was a gift," he replies "last night it was a gift. Today it's scrap metal." Cordelia protests that it's in her locker, but Xander says "I can wait." Cordy goes to her locker, but instead of taking it out she reaches under her collar and takes it off her neck. Taking a deep breath, she takes if off and gives it back saying "it's a good thing we broke up, now I don't have to pretend I like it." As soon as Xander walks away, however, the frosty expression on her face melts into one of resigned sadness. That night at the school, Amy and Xander cast the spell.
.......... The next day at school, he approaches Cordelia, but she is as icy as ever and he makes a fool out of himself thinking that the spell worked when apparently, it didn't. In the library, Giles is recounting to Buffy some of Angelus' more gruesome exploits when Xander suggests using him as bait. When Buffy says "you mean make him come after you?" Xander replies "no I mean chop me into little pieces and put me on hooks for the fish to nibble at because it would be more fun than my life now." Buffy sympathizes, and then suggests that they get together tonight to comfort each other. Xander jokingly suggests lap dancing, and Buffy says seductively "play your cards right." They almost kiss, but Amy interrupts to tell him that the spell didn't work. Amy says that they can try it again, and then comes on to him in the same way Buffy did. Another girl, one of Cordy's friends, asks Xander to study with her, and Xander realizes what the spell did and runs off.
.......... In his room, he goes to sit on his bed, and Willow surprises him and begins to come onto him very strongly, telling him that she wants him to be her first. She starts kissing him and nibbling his ear, and when Xander tells her that he doesn't want to use force, she tells him that "force is okay." Xander resists, however, leaving Willow to bite her fingers.
.......... At school, Cordelia comes in wearing an absolute knock-out clingy red mini-dress, and is again shunned by her "friends," this time for "wounding Xander. When Cordelia asks if they are tripping, Harmony tells her that "only a sick pup would let Xander get away. No matter what her friends said. Cordelia watches them go off in shock.
.......... Xander enters the school, and walks through the hall with every girl staring at him. He goes and begs for Giles' help, telling him that "every girl in Sunnydale want to make me her cuddly monkey, which may sound swell on paper, but..." At that moment Jenny comes in, and begins to notice Xander. Giles becomes angry and leaves to find Amy, with Jenny in tow.
.......... Buffy then enters the library, wearing nothing but a black raincoat and tempting Xander to undress her. She lowers him onto the stairs, but Xander resists, saying "sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. Not like this. This isn't real to you. You're only here because of a spell. I mean if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me...but you don't, so I can't." Buffy gets angry at the rejection, but then Amy comes in and two start to fight, and then Buffy decks Amy. An angry Amy turns Buffy into a rat.
.......... Giles and Jenny come back, and Jenny starts to bicker with Amy. Amy is about to turn Jenny into a rat, but Xander stops her. Outside in the hall, Harmony and the gang berate Cordy for dumping Xander, and then physically assault her. Back in the library, Giles takes control, telling Jenny and Amy to sit while he and Xander look for the Buffy-rat. Just as Xander has her cornered, Oz comes in and punches Xander, allowing the Buffy-rat to escape. Oz tells Xander that he was up all night with Willow, listening to her cry, and felt a sudden urge to hit him. Then he helps him up. Giles enlists Oz's help, and angrily sends Xander home.
.......... When Xander leaves the library, he notices Cordelia getting beaten pretty badly by a group of girls. As he runs towards them, girls start to mob him. He swoops into the fray, scoops Cordelia into his arms, and carries her to safety. Back in the library, Oz searches for Buffy while Giles and Amy try to find a way to break the spell. Jenny and Amy bicker about Xander, but Giles yells at Amy and tells her that if she cared about him at all she'd help in. Amy seems to take the lesson to heart, but Jenny, bored with the proceeding and wanting to see Xander, leaves.
.......... Xander and Cordelia escape the school, only to be confronted by a mob outside, with an axe-wielding Willow at the head. Willow, who'd "rather see Xander dead than with that bitch," attacks, but the small mob comes out and Harmony launches herself at Willow to protect Xander, affording time for Xander and Cordy to escape. Xander and Cordy escape to Buffy's house, where Joyce lets them in, and, after sending Cordy up for bandages, begins to hit on Xander. Disgusted, Cordy throws Joyce out, saying "get your mom-aged mitts off my boyfriend–former!" Cordy confronts Xander, who admits to using witchcraft. Joyce uses a crowbar to break the window and asks Xander to "let Joycie in." They escape to Buffy's room, thinking they'll be safer, but Angelus appears, saying "works in theory," and pulls Xander out the window as a horrified Cordelia watches.
.......... Angelus is about to kill Xander when Drusilla shows up and saves his life. Angelus watches in disgust as Dru flirts with Xander, and is about to turn him into a vampire when the mob shows up and attacks him. Cordy rushes out of the house, throws Willow clear off Xander, and drags him back inside where Joyce confronts them with a knife. Xander and Cordy are pursued by the mob into the house, except for Dru who isn't invited. They barricade themselves into the basement, where Cordy accuses Xander of embracing the black arts to become popular. Xander reveals that the spell was meant for Cordy, and she is touched. The mob breaks into the basement, and chase Xander and Cordy into a corner.
.......... Meanwhile, Giles and Amy manage to break the spells just as Oz finds the Buffy-rat. Buffy is back to her normal self, but realizes she is naked, and asks Oz to get her some clothes. In the basement, everyone comes back to their senses, and Cordelia tells them they were on a scavenger hunt. The next day at school, Buffy first worries about her mom's repressing, and then thanks Xander for not taking advantage of her.
.......... Cordy is walking with her "friends," and Harmony is telling Cordy about a guy who might ask her out if two other girls turn him down. Xander bumps into them, and Harmony makes fun of him again. This time, Cordelia rips them out, calling Harmony a sheep, and states "I'll date whoever the hell I want to date!" and then walks off with Xander while Harmony and the group watch in shock. At first Cordelia is horrified by what she said, but Xander promises her that they can fight a lot when her friends are around, and the two walk off, arm in arm and smiling.

.......... review: Having spent the day writing my reviews of Surprise, Innocence, and Lie to Me, I found this episode to be rather...light. Fortunately, it was also good. Not everything needs to be a steak dinner. I prefer sugar cookie dough or spray whipped cream on occasion.
.......... I never saw The Witch, so I was not as excited as long time fans for the return of Amy. However, I found her to be an engaging character and a talented performer. I hope she comes back in the next episode because her role lacked closure–she didn't learn anything, like don't do witchcraft. I'd like to see more of her in the future. I was reasonably sure that they'd have to bring back Catherine the Great to help undo the spell, but I guess I can't always be right.
.......... At first I had issues with this episode, but upon a second viewing I realized that those were unfounded. When I first saw the scene with Amy and Xander, I was pretty pissed because I am a mythology buff, and Joss screwed up. But when the spell went all bad I realized that Amy, not Joss screwed up: If you are going to cast a love spell, don't prey to Diana. DIANA IS NOT THE GODDESS OF LOVE. VENUS IS. No wonder the damn thing didn't work. If Amy had bothered to learn her mythology, she could have avoided the whole thing (note to Magistra Davis–those mythology lessons have some practical use after all!)
.......... Beyond that, I had a few problems with the episode, mostly with what wasn't in it. Spike was under used, but I guess Joss is just laying framework for things to come. I wanted to see one more scene with Amy, after the spell. Hopefully she'll be back soon to help out the gang. I think it would have been funny to have Larry show up, but that might have opened a whole can of worms that the episode really didn't have time for. I also would like to have seen the Giles/Jenny thing go somewhere, her presence in this episode was rather extraneous. I wasn't sure if Giles was jealous or really mad at Xander at the end. I think one last scene, with Giles and Jenny, would have been nice. Again, hopefully I'll get my wish in Passion or further on down the line. One more thing–Willow/Xander closure. But obviously that hasn't come yet so I'll put that complaint on hold. I'm still waiting for something to come though, their last real conversation was in Innocence when she said "Things are not okay between us," and then he saved her life. In Phases, they were hardly ever together–there was Willow/Buffy, Willow/Cordy, Willow/Oz, Xander/Buffy, Xander/Cordy, but no Xander/Willow. I can only wait so long for the Xander/Willow closure, let's hurry it up, dammit.
.......... First and foremost–they brought Harmony back!!! Mercedes McNab is my favorite of all the reoccurring actors, and I don't even know why. I just really love Harmony, and my favorite scene of her tonight was when she looked at her feet and pouted "I'm not a sheep!" I was just like, I love you Harmony! They need to use Harmony more, and never never bring her into the gang or make her friends with any of them. Cordelia is right...she is a sheep. Anyone who is excited because someone will ask her out if two girls turn her down...She's just so useless and pathetic and I love her.
.......... Now, onto the other good stuff. Robia LaMorte is back from her jaunt into stupidness, just keep apologizing for that gypsy crap and I might forgive you, Joss. I was right, she would choose her current life over her gypsyness. Her reaction to Xander was great–subtle at first, just a "Hi, Xander", working it's way up to obsession. Her scene with Amy was wonderful. She was so out of character, but, unlike the gypsy crap, she pulled it off with aplomb. Same goes with Kristine Sutherland, who I don't like very much, but her "let Joycie in" line was too hysterical to miss. The Spike/Dru/Angelus triangle is developing nicely. That one tiny scene spoke volumes. The difference in the gifts, Spike's necklace and Angelus's heart, reveals quite a bit. It will be fascinating to see where this will go, because there is obviously no lost love between Spike and Angelus. Prediction–Dru will stay with Spike. Comments made by Juliet Landau and James Marsters lead me to this conclusion. They belong together, and I think Spike will get rid of Angelus before anything comes between him and Dru. And I think Angelus really just sees her as a toy, his obsession has moved on to Buffy. I've said it before and I'll say it again–Buffy/Spike alliance.
.......... Seth Green was vintage Oz tonight–he hit Xander, yelled at him, and then helped him up and didn't even react when he found out that Amy turned Buffy into a rat. His reaction to a naked Buffy was perfect. Oz wouldn't be one to leer, since he is a real gentleman, especially since Willow and Buffy are best friends, but on the other hand Buffy is gorgeous, you would have to be gay (again, the Larry thing) to not just really really want a peek. Seth has defined the character and stays with it perfectly. No matter what happens, he's, well, Oz.
.......... I've decided that I am completely enamored with Aly Hannigan. She can do no wrong, no matter what it is she does. The Willow seduction was so sexy, so brazen, so bold, so un-Willow, and yet, Aly managed to make it completely Willow. It's not Willow, but...it is Willow. The biting of her fingers just clinched it. It was perfect. Willow with the ax was priceless, threatening to kill Xander rather than see him with "that bitch"... Either Aly Hannigan eats, sleeps, and breaths Willow or she is the best actress even in any medium. If she isn't nominated for an Emmy it would be a travesty of justice.
.......... Sarah Michelle Gellar shines in an episode which is totally not about Buffy. She still showed the "edge" I make such a big deal about when she demanded Giles tell her the truth about Angelus. Her support of her friends is wonderful, and she and Nicholas Brendon really do have good chemistry. They seem so comfortable with each other, more so than any other characters. I might not pitch as much of a hissy fit as I thought if they do get together. And they have had an awful lot of Buffy/Xander lately... Her seduction of Xander was classic, so un-Buffy, her anger at his rejection, her jealousy of Amy, and, of course, her embarrassment at being nude in the basement was handled brilliantly. She stood out in her scenes but stole no thunder from the true stars of the episode.
.......... Speaking of which, Nicholas Brendon and Charisma Carpenter took a decent episode and turned it into a great one. Say what you want, I think Xander has been developed on this show more than any other character. He is growing from a sarcastic youth into an adult, and grew up even more tonight. He and Charisma are incredible together. His hurt at being dumped on Valentine's day was handled perfectly. The anger, the voice breaking just a little was hardly noticeable, definitely not overdone. The embarrassment the next day, and the Amy blackmail scene was great. I actually could understand why he did what he did. Especially after he put his feelings on the line and bought Cordy the necklace. And the almost throw-away line, when he wanted to talk to Buffy about being dumped and she mentioned Angel, he immediately wanted to help her. Not a big deal, but spoke volumes about the character. There is no need for these actors to shout their intentions, a whisper or movement says enough. His reactions to everything were humorous, touching, and very realistic. Putting his head down on the table when Buffy's mom hit on him, kneeing Angel in the groin, and suggesting coffee to Dru were hilarious, and at the same time his desire to protect Cordelia, despite everything, could be read behind all his actions. When he laid himself on the line to Giles, his humility was not overdrawn. His reaction to Willow and Buffy's seductions reveal how deeply he values their friendship, especially the Buffy one. The one with Willow was more humorous, although it did reveal his depth of concern for her. His scenes with Buffy, as I said before, really show how the relationship between these two is forming, and a Buffy/Xander romance may not be so unthinkable. Nick and Sarah have brought me around.
.......... However, the absolute show stealer tonight (besides Mercedes McNab), was Charisma. Let's see, she dumped Xander on Valentine's Day because she didn't have the guts to stand up to her friends, and treated him like dirt. And by God, I still felt sorry for her. It takes one hell of an actress to pull that off. She didn't want to dump Xander, and she was genuinely hurt by her "friends". And then, when Xander asked for the necklace back, and she went to her locker to take it out, and it was still on her neck, I almost broke down right there. She cares for Xander a lot more than she is willing to admit. And when she was attacked by her "friends" for dumping Xander then, I really felt bad for her. And it was so cool when Xander came to her rescue, and carried her out. It's like the love story in a classic movie. And then when she threw Joyce out, shouting "get you mom-aged mitts off my boyfriend...former", she's the coolest person ever. And the, she grabbed the ax from Willow and through her away, and dragged Xander into the house, saving his life. And by god, only Cordy could be touched because Xander tried to cast a spell on her. She was so mad that he made a spell that him Mr. Popular, and when he told her it was meant for her, and she was all like "the spell was meant for me?" By god, her anger evaporated. (I thought is was interesting that this scene took place in Buffy's basement, the same place they kissed for the first time.) And then when she called Harmony a sheep...it was like, just the coolest thing I have ever seen. She's just all like "I don't care what you think because I'm cooler than you." I think she realized the same thing I did when Harmony was gossiping: pathetic. When Harmony said he's gonna ask me if two people turn him down, and thought this was a good thing, she realized something like "Am I so concerned with status that I'm willing to be someone's third choice? I think not. I deserve to be first, dammit." She was all like, "I don't want to hear any more of your insipid babbling because you're a total idiot". And then, seconds later, when she totally was horrified by what she said (Can't change that fast!) was great. But her relationship with Xander is more solid than ever before, and she finally said aloud what I think she realized along time ago: she doesn't need other people's approval. I said that I could live with a Buffy/Xander relationship because of how well Sarah and Nick have set it up, but ONLY if Cordy dumps Xander because he doesn't feel about her the way she feels about him. It's so obvious how much she likes him. And at the end, they promised to fight a lot, and she smiled. And any episode where Cordy smiled is worth watching repeatedly.
.......... All in all, a light, frothy helping which was not perfect but was absolutely delightful in terms of its two stars. 9.5/10

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