synopsis: Buffy sits at the Bronze, moping. Cordelia wants
a limo for the Homecoming Dance, while Xander tends to side for a public
bus. Cordelia has already decided she's going to be Homecoming Queen,
the election is just a formality. Scott comes up to them, and Cordelia
blurts out about Scott not asking her. Scott didn't think she'd like
it. They're both kinda iffish about it, and Buffy says she has to leave
but is excited about the dance. The two kiss.
Angel paces nervously, and jumps when Buffy comes to see him. She brings him some blood, and asks how she's feeling. "It hurts...less," he tells her.
She tells him that she hasn't told the rest of them about his return, and tells him that she's not going to, because they wouldn't understand. "Giles," he whispers, obviously thinking of Jenny. She tells him that everything is different, "I'm a senior, I'm really working harder in school, I'm even thinking about college. And I'm involved with someone." Angel turns, but doesn't say anything. "His name is Scott. He's a nice, solid guy. He makes me happy. And that's what I need. Someone I can count on."
Cut to Scott dumping Buffy. He tells her that she used to be so full of life, "like a force of nature, but now you seem distracted all the time. He walks away, leaving Buffy alone on the walk...watched by two dark men in a van. Her image is beamed via modem to an wheelchair bound man in a lush house. The man asks if that's her, and Mr. Trick comes up behind him. "In the nubile flesh, my friend." Credits roll.
A young man enters the Mayor's office. Two German terrorists are in Sunnydale, and he's informing the mayor. The Mayor, after smelling the papers, asks the young man to show him his hands, and the Mayor tells him that they could be cleaner. The Mayor asks him to put those two under surveillance and inform him if any other characters are in town.
Cordelia, Xander, Willow, and Oz pose for their yearbook photos. Willow asks Xander to help her pick out an outfit, and Cordelia gives them the lowdown on her ‘competition' for Homecoming Queen: Holly Charleston and Michelle Blake. She doesn't give one a chance, but the other one might give her a run because she's "open to all mankind, especially those with a letterman's jacket." Willow worries that Buffy's going to miss the yearbook pictures, and Xander tells her that she and Faith are "in the library getting all sweaty." Cordelia isn't pleased with her choice of words, but offers to go tell her.
In the library, Buffy, wearing a tight, midriff-bearing outfit pummels pads held by Faith, wearing an equally tight outfit. Faith comments that Buffy should get dumped more often because it gives her an edge. Faith suggests they go to the dance together, "find some studs use them, and discard them." Buffy decides she's in. Cordelia is about to enter the library, but is distracted by two good looking guys and walks away.
Buffy approaches a teacher and asks her to write her a recommendation, but the teacher doesn't even know who she is. Later, Buffy mopes more about the teacher. She asks Oz if he can see her, and moans that in L.A. the yearbook was like "story of me," and now it's "one crappy picture on one-eighth of one crappy page." Xander informs her that she missed the yearbook pictures, and that Cordelia was supposed to tell her.
Buffy confronts Cordelia about the pictures, and she says she forgot, "what's the big." Cordelia explains that she's under a lot of pressure campaigning. Buffy isn't impressed, and Cordelia tells her that she doesn't understand what it involves. When Buffy suggests it involves handing out crappy fliers, Cordelia comes back with "no, it involves being part of this school and having actual friends." Cordelia comments that she like to see Buffy win the crown, and Buffy decides that she will. "I'm going to run for Homecoming Queen, and I'm going to win."
Trick is relating the spirit of competition to some bounty hunters, including some humans, vampires, and some weird guy who looks kinda like a stegosaurus. Among the contestants in Trick's game is Lyle Gorch, now partnered with a wife called Candy ,the Steg, the two German terrorists, and a Kain-like bounty-hunter. He relates the targets to the others. "Ladies, Gentleman, spiny-headed looking creatures, welcome to SlayerFest ‘98." Cut to commercial.
Willow and Xander are changing. Willow asks about her first outfit, and Xander says "nice." "It's my first big dance, ya know." Willow explains. "Where there's a boy and a band, and not just me alone in my room pretending there's a boy and a band." Xander continues to put on his tux as Willow shows him her second outfit. "Nice," he comments, and she helps him tie his tie. Xander asks how far Willow and Oz have gone, and Willow is mum. Willow asks the same question, as Xander finishes putting on his tux. "A gentleman never talks about his conquests. "Oh yeah, well since when did you become a..."she stops, catching sight of him in his tux. "...gentleman. I know," she says, about the dress. "Nice." "I was going to go with gorgeous," he tells her. "Really, you too, in a guy way." "Oz is very lucky." "So is Cordelia...in a girl way." Willow worries that she can't dance, and Xander takes her in his arms to show her that she can. As they dance, their lips meet...and they finally share a full, passionate kiss.
Suddenly, the both broke away. "That didn't just happen," Xander tells her. "No, I mean, it did, but it didn't." Xander tells her that he respects her and Oz, and Willow pretty much seconds the emotion. They decide it must be the clothes, it was a fluke, "a clothes fluke, that's what it is, and they'll be no more fluking." They decide they need to get out of these clothes. "Not like that," they agree. It's obvious that both are entirely freaked out.
The next day, Buffy strategizes to Willow, Xander and Oz. She tells that they the other three have big head starts, but she can catch up, she's done this before. "The only difference is now I'm not actually popular. But I'm not unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party." "They were killed by zombies," Willow reminds her.
Buffy asks Xander, Willow, and Oz to help her, and Cordelia comes in. Buffy suggests they can all get alone, and Cordelia reveals that Willow and Xander are helping her. "She's my girlfriend," Xander explains. "She needs it so much more than you do," Willow says. Oz pretty much follows Willow. Cordelia thanks Buffy for suggesting they all still be friends. "I think we're getting along great." Buffy is left alone with Giles, who suggests that it's a lot of fuss for a title. "Well, it's not fun unless you try your best." "As long as fun is still in the mix," Giles advises. "Sure, it's not like anyone takes it that seriously." As she says that, she crushes her glass bottle in her hands.
Buffy and Cordelia each try to outdo each other, while the bounty hunters train, except Lyle who is making out with his wife. Scott assures Buffy that she has his vote, and thinks it's a great idea for her to do it. Buffy one ups one of the girls by giving cupcakes, but Cordelia one ups her by giving baskets away.
Buffy guilt trips Willow into giving her a look at Cordelia's database, and it takes almost 15 seconds for her to crumble. Their conversation is listened to by the Germans.
Buffy talks to Jonathon, and he tells her that Cordelia payed him $6. Buffy confronts Cordelia about money, and the two get into it pretty big. Cordelia accuses Buffy of trying to be like her. Cordelia accuses her of trying to steal her thunder in a "pathetic attempt to recapture your glory days," and brings up Buffy's single parent household. "You're brain isn't even connected to your mouth is it?" Cordelia tells her to stay out of her way and tries to shove past her, but Buffy grabs her. "Don't even do that again." "You're sick, you know that?" Cordelia tells her. Xander tries to break it up, to no avail. "Crazy freak," Cordelia tells Buffy. "Vapid whore," Buffy retorts. Xander drags her away.
Willow and Xander discuss the situation, and how it relates to their kiss. Xander tells Willow that "when I look at you, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time. Willow tells him that it's their fault, because they felt guilty about the kiss so they helped Cordelia, spun the whole thing out of it's orbit, and now they're a "big meteor shower heading for earth." Xander tells her that they have to do something, but he's in hell. "I though being a senior, at last, and having a girlfriend, at last, would be a good thing. Why wouldn't that be a good thing?" Willow tells him that his mouth is cute when he's falling to pieces, and they take each other's hands, and Willow asks what they're going to do. "We just have to keep the two of them communicating," Xander says. "I mean about us."
Buffy walks to the limo, but Faith isn't in it. It's Cordelia. Cordelia motions to the note, and Buffy discovers that the other set the two of them up to ride alone so they could work out their differences. But the driver is one of the Germans.
The two argue over the corsages, and the driver drops them off in the middle of no where. They discover a VCR with a tape in it. Trick is on the tape, introducing them to SlayerFest ‘98. Apparently, Trick thinks Cordelia is Faith. Behind them, something blows up.
At the dance, a distracted Willow and Xander watch Oz play. Faith asks what they're moping about, and Xander says "we're not moping, we're grooving. To Oz's band. He's a great guy, Oz." "He wrote this song for me," Willow adds. Meanwhile, Faith spies Scott dancing with another girl, and is none the happier.
Giles comes up, saying "we have to find Buffy, something terrible has happened...just kidding, I thought I'd give you a scare." Willow and Xander just look at him. The joke fallen flat, Giles goes off to investigate the food.
Meanwhile, Buffy and Cordelia run thru the woods. Cordelia wants to tell them that she's not a slayer, but does manage to warn Buffy of a bear trap right before she steps into it. Buffy throws the trap at the Kain-like hunter as he shoots and he steps into his own trap. Buffy asks how many there, and her tells her the score. Buffy leaves him there, and takes his gun. The Steg throws his knives at the girls, and they run.
At the dance, Faith comes up to Scott. "Scott, their you are honey. Hey, good news, the doctor said the itching and swelling and burning should clear. up, but we gotta keep using the ointment." His date just looks at him as he is speechless. Giles tells Willow and Xander that he suspects "the finger food contains actual fingers." Again, the joke falls flat, and Giles retreats to the library after telling them they did a fine thing.
Cordelia and Buffy run into a cabin, where Buffy says they'll be safe for a while. "Safe, I'm not safe, I'm going to die." Cordelia says. Buffy secures the room. "I'm never going to be crowned Homecoming Queen. I'm never going to graduate from High School. I'm never going to know if it's real between me and Xander or if it's some temporary insanity that made me think I loved him. And now I'm never going to get the chance to tell him." Buffy reassures her, and tells them they'll get back just in time for "you to congratulate me on my sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen." Cordelia realizes that Buffy is trying to get her mad so she won't be so scared. "And hey, it's working...wears a damn weapon." "Do you really love Xander?" Buffy asks. "Well, he grows on you. Like a giea pet." Cordelia finds a spatula, and a telephone. And picks the spatula. Buffy asks her why she didn't think the telephone would be better, and eventually Cordelia gets it.
The old guy tracks them using the phone, after Buffy leaves a message. Steg-man passes the hunter, while the German's make their way based on instructions the old guy gives them. Giles gets the message.
Cordelia whines about always getting into trouble around Buffy, when "all I wanted was to be Homecoming Queen." Buffy counters that that's all she wanted too. Cordelia doesn't understand why Buffy cares about Homecoming since she's the slayer. Buffy tells her she wants to be remembered at school somehow. The for one moment, she got to live in the world. "Besides, I look cute in a tiara."
At that moment, Steg-man bursts in and fight Buffy. Cordelia shoot at him, but is way wide. The German's shoot bazooka shells thru the shack, and Buffy, Cordelia, and Steg-man dive out of the cabin. Steg-man doesn't make it. The German's move in.
At the library, Candy and Lyle have knocked out Giles and wait for Buffy...
The old dude informs Trick what the two are up to, and there is a knock on the door. When Trick answers it, he is dragged off by two cops.
As Cordelia and Buffy enter the library, the Gorches attack them. Buffy is taken by surprise and is beaten by Candy, but manages to stake her with the spatula. Lyle is furious, but is bluffed by Cordelia. "I hear you, you red-neck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?" "Why I'm gonna..." "Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for lunch? Listen up, needle brain, Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention you're girlfriend," "Wife!" "Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm going to do to you?" Lyle buys it and runs.
Giles, Buffy, and Cordelia discuss the event, and Cordelia and Buffy seem to be okay again. Then they realize that the corsages are bugged, and the German's come into the school. Buffy wants wet toilet paper, and leads the Germans around the school. Buffy throws the corsage at one German, and, per the old guys orders, the other guy fires. The first German returns fire, and the two kill each other. "I won," the old guy says.
Trick comes into the Mayor's office, and is introduced to the Mayor, Richard Wilkins. Wilkins tells Trick that he likes things to run smoothly, and that this year is important. "Election year," Trick says. "Something like that." Trick assumes that the Mayor wants him to go, but the Mayor tells him about the children, but the "more rebellious element" needs to be dealt with. The children are the town's lifeblood, the Wilkins tells him. He needs them. Trick tells him that the ‘rebellious element' may be taken care of that night, and Wilkins compliments him on it. Wilkins asks him to join his team, and tells him "you and I are going to get along very well." He then offers him a moist towelette from a case with a mirror–the Mayor casts no reflection.
Devon is about to announce the Queen, when Buffy, Cordelia, and Giles come in. Xander wonders why they're all dirty. "Long story," says Buffy. "Got hunter," says Cordelia. "Apparently not that long," Buffy responds. Devon reads the winner, as Buffy and Cordelia realize that after what went on, the whole campaign seems "damn important," Buffy says. Devon finally announces the winner: it's a tie! Holly Charleston and Michelle Blake. Buffy and Cordelia look at each other and walk away in disgust.
