It was too late to back out, though. Anne was safely out of the way, over at Linda's. Mom and Dad were sitting at the table, watching expectantly as their oldest daughter paced like an idiot.

"Uh, pumpkin?," her dad asked, "You said you had something to tell us?" Her mother merely smiled encouragingly.

Jessica took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. It was now or never.

"I think I'm gay," she announced.

There was a resounding silence. After a long, awkward moment, Xander Harris looked at his wife, then back at his daughter. "Happy or homosexual?" he asked.

Jessica opened her mouth to reply, then closed it. She thought about it for awhile. "Huh?" she finally ventured.

"Are you happy, or are you attracted to other women?" Willow Harris asked.

"Could be both," Xander opined.

"That's true," Willow agreed with a nod. "We definitely want you to be happy, no matter who you're attracted to." She smiled up at Jessica.

"Hell yes," Xander said. "So which is it, Jess?"

Jessica was lost. "What?" she asked plaintively.

Willow reached up to take her hand. "I'm sorry, honey. We shouldn't kid. I know how hard this must be for you. What you need to know is that we're fine with it. You're our daughter, and we love you, and this doesn't change anything."

"Right," Xander agreed, standing up and pulling Jessica into a tight embrace. "No more jokes. We're okay with this, and we hope you are, too."

"Uh..." Jessica began.

"It's okay," Willow said, standing and putting her arms around both of them. "You must be really confused right now. That's natural. Take your time. We're here for you."

Jessica burrowed into her parents' embrace and sighed in utter contentment. For one long, perfect moment, all was right with her world.

And then she remembered a very important fact.

"Uh," she said again, quieter. Neither of her parents responded. Gently, she disentangled herself from their embrace and took two steps back.

Her mother and father looked at her in concern, their arms still around each other. "What's wrong?" Willow asked.

"Well... It's like this," Jessica stalled, then sighed and just said it. "I'm not gay."

Her parents stared at her. Xander blinked once. Twice. "What?" he said. "Wait a minute..."

"I know!" Jessica wailed. "It's stupid! It was Candy's idea!"

Xander nodded and Willow smiled wryly. "I have noticed," she admitted, "that most of Candy's ideas turn out to be stupid. Now, what do you mean, you're not gay?"

"Is this some kind of joke?" Xander asked, and Jessica could tell he was getting angry. "Because it's not very funny."

"It's not a joke," Jessica assured him. "It's a test."

"A test of what?" he demanded.

"Of how you'd react. I wasn't sure."

Xander started to speak, then just shook his head and turned to his wife. Willow sighed and glared at her daughter.

"That has to be the dumbest thing you've ever said, you know," she said in a casual tone that Jessica had learned to fear. Before she could explain or apologize, Willow went on. "Do you really think that little of us? You've known us your entire life. Did you really think we'd care one way or the other who you're attracted to?"

Jessica turned away from her mother's disappointed eyes, looking to her father for reassurance. His stony expression offered none.

"I'm sorry," Jessica whispered, near tears. "You don't understand."

"You're right," Xander said, relenting. "We don't. Tell us about it." He guided Willow back to her seat, then leaned against the table to listen to the explanation.

"It was Candy's idea, like I said," Jessica began, dropping her eyes so she didn't have to see their faces. "You know that she's friends with John Taylor, right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Well, he's gay. For real, I mean. His parents freaked when he told them. Not 'go to your room and don't come out until the exorcist is here' freaked, but almost that bad. And we all thought they were so cool, y'know? John never expected them to have a problem with it. Once he finally understood he was gay, he wasn't afraid for a second of telling his parents. Do you understand?" she begged, finally looking up.

Xander's eyes were closed in sympathy. "God, that poor kid."

Willow nodded. "We understand, honey. You were afraid you didn't know as much about us as you thought."

Jessica nodded in grateful agreement. "Yeah, exactly. Candy thought this was the only way to know for sure. I was almost a hundred percent certain you'd be fine with it, but so was John. I figured it'd be better to make sure." She shrugged helplessly, then started to cry when Xander's strong arms enfolded her again.

"Shh," he whispered into her ear. "It's okay, pumpkin. It's okay. We understand." He rocked her in his arms for a few seconds, then laughed. "But next time, just ask us, okay?"

"I will," Jessica promised, nodding into his chest. She didn't resist as he pushed her down into the chair across from Willow. He stood behind her, his hands a welcome weight on her shoulders.

Willow smiled across the table at her. "What he said. You could've just asked."

"I know," Jessica said. "Now I know."

"Good," her mother said with a smile. It quickly faded. "God, poor John. Is he going to be okay? If he needs to, he can stay with us for awhile."

"I told him that, yeah," Jessica said, "but he wants to tough it out. He says his folks are a lot less wiggy about it now. They've agreed to go to a counselor with him. Maybe it'll help. He thinks it was the shock more than anything else. I hope so, anyway."

Willow nodded and Xander squeezed her shoulders. Willow smiled again and shook her head in amazement. "We always knew raising kids was going to be an adventure, but you still manage to surprise us, after all these years. How do you do that?"

Jessica wisely didn't respond. Instead, she asked, "So you guys are really okay with the whole gay thing? I mean, I knew you would be, but still."

Xander laughed. "We're fine with it, hon. Really. Better than, in fact."

"What's that mean?" Jessica asked, turning to look up at him.

"Well, let's just say you don't know everything there is to know about us. Or about your mother, anyway."

"Mom?" Jessica asked, looking across the table.

Willow was glaring good-naturedly at her husband. Jessica didn't even have to look up to know that Xander was wearing his biggest grin in response. Willow snorted and focused her attention on her daughter.

"What was the question?" she asked.

It was Jessica's turn to glare. "Mom," she demanded, "what did Dad mean?"

"Wait," Xander broke in, "let me grab some Cokes. This is going to be good." He hurried over to the refrigerator.

Seconds later, he was back with three cans of soda. He opened them, handed them out and sat down next to his wife. He took her hand in his and said, "Tell her, snoogums."

"Don't you 'snoogums' me, you son of a bitch," Willow said affectionately. "You'll get yours." Xander waggled his eyebrows lasciviously, and Willow smacked him on the arm before turning her attention to Jessica.

"Let me tell you about your Aunt Tara," she began.