He's not an easy creature to get a hold of. Usually, when we want to interview a Buffy celeb, the process is pretty easy. You call an agent, put in a request, and within a week or two, you're on the blower with Spike. But vengeance demons don't have agents --though we're told many agents are actually vengeance demons. So when we decided to interview D'Hoffryn for a "Where are they now?" piece this issue, we were stymied.

Leave it to Willy to help us out of a bind. We mentioned our problems to the weasely bartender over drinks one night at his fine establishment, where you can always count on warm blood and cold chicken fingers. Within moments, he'd hooked us up with a summoning spell for D'Hoffryn and all the supplies we'd need.

A few failed attempts and some singed eyebrows later, he scribbled D'Hoffryn's pager number on a dirty napkin, and we were on our way.

Buffy the Magazine: Wow, we never thought we'd find you. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk to us.
D'Hoffryn: Not a problem. I'm all about the fans.

BTM: What have you been up to since we've last seen you?
D'H: A lot of nothing, to be honest. Some supermarket openings. A few convention appearances. I'm guest-hosting next month on Talk Soup. And I'm doing some dubbing work for Digimon, so that keeps me busy.

BTM: Wow. That's surprising. So your profile hasn't been raised n the demon community since your appearance on the show?
D'H: Y'know, love it or hate it, television is still the best way to reach a lot of people. The appearances have definitely raised my Q rating.

BTM: What's a "Q Rating"?
D'H: Exactly, my friend. Exactly. Hollywood hasn't exactly been beating down the extradimensional walls.

BTM: That sounds pretty depressing.
D'H: It's not that bad. I'm fielding a few offers right now, but most of it is that reality-based television crap. They want me to host this Survivor spin-off set in Hell, but I dunno. Why would anyone care? I live for the work, y'know? Everything else is distraction.

BTM: Right. What attracted you to Willow as a good potential vengeance demon?
D'H: Great question. She's so cute that I hoped no one would ever suspect the magnitude of her power. She seemed pretty steamed when I first recruited her, but she's gone soft again and that's a little disappointing. Sadly, love kills vengeance, which is why I live alone. The offer is still on the table, however.

BTM: How did Anya rank among the vengeance demons you've worked with?
D'H: She was really great to work with, actually. A lot of times, you give these demons an inch, and they take a mile. But not her. Always professional, punctual, the whole bit. Those were good times.

BTM: Why won't you give Anya back her powers?
D'H: It's a complicated issue. Let's just say unions are involved, and well, you don't cross the unions, get what I'm saying?

BTM: Understood. Have there been any famous women throughout history who were actually vengeance demons?
D'H: Oprah's been an exquisite vengeance demon. Never in my wildest dreams did I think one woman could make so many men miserable with all that "getting to know your spirit" mumbo jumbo. Also, the Olsen twins. Remarkable.

BTM: What's the most nasty vengeance punishment you've dished out?
D'H: My favorites have always been more subtle. Let's just say that when Hillary gets the keys to the Oval Office, my greatest revenge will be complete.

BTM: Is Alanis Morrisette a vengeance demon?
D'H: Well, duh.

BTM: Enough of this supernatural nonsense. Let's get real for a minute. If you weren't spending an eternity as a chaos demon, what would you be doing with your life?
D'H: My mother wanted me to be a rabbi. I considered going into real estate for a while and I used to deejay.

BTM: Deejay? Really? Okay, favorite floor-filler.
D'H: The Charlie Daniels Band. Man, I haven't heard that song for years. I sorta fell into this demon thing, and I haven't looked back.

BTM: Other than vengeance, what is D'Hoffryn all about?
D'H: Honesty. Passion. Hair care products. I'm kidding on that last one.

BTM: What's it like in that empty dimension where you live? Are there any movie theaters or hot dog stands or anything?
D'H: It's kinda boring, but not too bad. Eating is a big problem. There's a really great Thai place about two blocks away, but other than that, you're looking at a three-hundred-year cab ride to get anything decent.

BTM: What do you and those other demons talk about all day and night, for all eternity?
D'H: Lately we've been working on a suitable punishment for nosey reporters. Hey, where are you going? It's a joke! I kid because I'm a kidder!