"Because, Spike, it's Giles' apartment, and he's your host, and it's your fault he got drunk, and Riley and I have been trying to have a normal date since last semester and we *will* get one tonight," Buffy said, tossing a movie at Spike. "Besides, Cordelia's coming over to help. Angel wanted her out of LA for a little bit...said she was depressed."

"You tossed me 'Brassed Off,' you know that, right?"

Buffy nodded. "Cordy's an Ewan McGreggor fan." She turned around, looking at herself in the mirror. "Besides, it's a funny movie and maybe it'll get her mind off all the stuff that's been happening to her recently."

He glanced back at the Watcher and Ethan Rayne, who had been passed out for the last half-hour or so after playing a twisted version of Spin The Bottle. Spike had taught the two, seeing as how they both wanted to get smashed.

Giles had objected at first, not entirely trusting Ethan, who had been cursed to help his former friend and recent nemesis. But Ethan had readily agreed, setting up the shot glasses in a circle and marking one side of the matchbox.

They took turns spinning the matchbox, drinking the contents of whichever shot glass the mark pointed to. Spike sat there, patiently refilling each empty shot glass with more drink. Ethan kept getting the shot glass with Everclear in it, with Spike only added once every tenth turn. Giles had scowled at him, remarking, "Bloody matchbox. It's possessed, I tell you."

After about thirty turns, the two had stumbled out of the kitchen, passing out before either of them reached the couch. Spike finished off each of the twelve shot glasses and met the Slayer at the door, hoping that he could retire to the bathroom to watch "Jack & Jill" in peace.

And then the blonde dropped a bombshell that not only was she *not* relieving him, but the arrogant wench was coming back from Los Angeles to help him. He didn't need help! They were both passed out!

"You look fine, Slayer," Spike said, sighing. A knock at the door got her attention, and Spike raced her over to the door, beating her. "Oh, it's Do--Ow!" he said as she elbowed him in the ribs. "Hello, Riley," Spike said with biting sarcasm.

Riley simply nodded, having given up on understanding why Hostile 17 was allowed to stay out in the open like he was but not wanting to argue with his girlfriend about it anymore. "You look gorgeous, Buffy."

The Slayer smiled, then pointed at Spike. "He only thought I looked fine."

"Then he's blind," Riley said, offering her his hand. As they turned to walk out the door, Cordelia chose then to show up.

"I thought I was going to be here with *you*, Buffy," Cordelia said, blocking the door.

"Well...Riley, this is Cordelia Chase. Cordy, this is Riley Finn, *my* boyfriend," she said, putting slight emphasis on the "my".

At the word "boyfriend," Cordelia got a strange look on her face. "oh...he replaced Angel, right?"

Buffy winced. "Spike has alcohol. Have fun," she said, walking out the door and pulling Riley with her.

"So...can I get drunk, or do I have to stay sober because I can't trust you?" Cordelia asked, glancing at Giles and Ethan. "Never mind..."

"There is no other reservation?" Riley asked. "Forrest said he made one..."

"There is no reservation under any of those names," the matrie'd said, glancing back at the list in front of him.

Riley shook his head. "There *has* to be," he muttered.

"It's all right, Riley," Buffy said, grinning slightly. "Did you check under Summers, Buffy?"

The matrie'd checked, then nodded. "There is a reservation for that name, Madame."

"How...?"

"Willow made one, just in case. She should be nearby, somewhere in the restaurant," Buffy said as they followed the man to their table. "Do you know Graham asked her out?"

"Really? I think she'll like him," Riley said, pulling out her chair for her. "After you."

Buffy smiled as they sat down and stared at their menus. "Uh...Riley?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know French."

"Uh...neither do I?"

Cordelia looked up from the mess they'd caused making the margaritas. "Giles is going to butcher us."

"If he's as drunk as I think he is, I can probably convince him he and Ethan did this."

"Isn't Ethan supposed to be Mister Bad Guy?"

Spike nodded, taking a long drink from his glass. "Supposed to, love. Like me, he's being forced to help. Only with me it's a damn implant, and he was bloody well cursed into doing it."

"Well, I can see why he'd want to get wasted. But why Giles?"

"Olivia, the woman he's with, had to go back to England for a bit."

"Why didn't he just go with her? I mean, he has to care about her, right? So why didn't he just drop everything to be with her? Why'd he let her disappear from his life?"

Spike looked at Cordelia perplexedly. "Is something wrong?"

"Why should you care?" Cordelia snapped.

"Forget I said anything," he muttered, walking towards the door.

"Wait, wait," Cordelia said, standing up. "Help me clean up and I'll tell you."

They'd managed to make it through dinner without ordering frogs legs or snails, causing them to both breathe a sigh of relief. The Bronze was their next stop, but Riley's car got a flat on the way there, leaving them stranded near Hammersmith Park.

And a vampire chose that moment to attack.

"Riley! Hand me a stake!" Buffy yelled, glad she had the sense to wear pants that night instead of the scandalous dress Willow had suggested.

Riley popped open the trunk, turning briefly to knock a vampire out before grabbing two stakes and tossing one to Buffy. He threw a right hook at another vampire and promptly staked him.

Buffy caught the stake expertly and sent a flying kick to the vampire she was fighting, causing him to stumble backward and almost lose his balance long enough for her to stake him. As she finished, she saw Riley shut the hood door on a vampires neck, breaking it with an ugly sounding crack.

"Ew...that's a technique I haven't seen before," she said, shoving the stake through the vampire to be on the safe side.

"Improvisation. Something I learned from you," Riley said, reopening the trunk and getting the spare tire out of the back. Glancing around to the flat tire, he saw the tiny crossbow bolt sticking out.

"No wonder it was flat," he muttered, setting the spare down and running a hand through his hair. Suddenly, the twang of a crossbow could be heard again, and Buffy pulled Riley to the side just in time for him to narrowly avoid getting hit with it.

"Uh...run!" Buffy said, hauling ass in the general direction of The Bronze, hoping they were out of range of that crossbow soon.

Cordelia laughed at Spike as they walked out of the kitchen, the first real laugh she'd had since Doyle's death. "You mean to tell me you liked him so much you went out and got a beanie baby of him?"

Spike shrugged. "Darth Maul...an idol for the ages."

Cordelia swatted towards Spike. "You're an idiot."

"You're a stuck up snob."

"Not anymore." Cordelia looked at her hands, one clutching her drink and one holding a movie. "So...'Hackers'?"

Spike nodded. "That was a bloody good movie. Unless you want to listen to a CD."

"Like what?" Cordy asked, going up to Spike and looking over his shoulder.

"How about Massive Attack's 'Mezzanine'?" he asked, holding up the CD and almost hitting Cordelia in the face.

"Never heard of them."

"*You've* never *heard* of Massive Attack? Bloody hell, what kind of drivel do you actually *listen* to?" Spike asked incredulously. "And if you name a single one of those manufactured pop artists, I'll say every possible insult about you that I can think of."

"Honestly? Bif Naked, Luscious Jackson, Limp Bizkit--"

"You listen to them too?" Spike asked, his jaw hanging slightly. "Damn, girl...you have changed."

Cordelia smiled. "That's what I want to listen to, right now."

Buffy made it to The Bronze first, running out of breath. Riley followed, trying to catch his breath as well. "So...think...we...escaped...?" he asked, panting.

She nodded. "They were vampires, not idiots, but I think we ran faster."

"Think?" Riley shook his head. "I'm trusting you here."

Buffy looked up, smoothing her hair a bit. "Might as well go in. And get to a phone to call a tow truck."

The blasting music of The Verve Pipe's "Headlines" assaulted them the moment they walked in.

[i met a girl with bottles of wine
though i prefer red, they tasted all right
very soon, the room was spinning
tug of war, the floor was winning]

"Go...call. I'll get a table," Buffy said, wading through the crowd. She was pretty sure normal dates did *not* go like this...

[that's when she said, i can't help but laugh when i'm caught in a lie
i'm not who you thought, but you can kiss me good night
her mouth was full of dirty words]

They'd gotten tired of Limp Bizkit after two songs, finding that loud rock music didn't help impending hangovers. So now they sat on the couch, staring at each other.

"So," Spike said.

"So...?" Cordelia answered, then looked at the room. "Why do you stay here?"

"I don't really have anywhere else to stay," Spike said, shrugging. "I'm not entirely trusted by them, you know."

"I kind of figured."

[then cigarettes burned afterwards, that's when she said
having a headline must be some experience
having a headline's a sexual experience]

Buffy waited patiently, knowing she looked a mess, listening to the band. The loud music was not what she wanted to hear right now, and curiosity got the best of her as she headed towards the pay phones herself.

Riley was there, just finishing up his call. "Yeah...Hammersmith Park. I'll pick it up tomorrow. Thanks," he said, hanging up. Watching Buffy come over, he smiled. "All taken care of."

"Well, I need to make a quick call," she said, smiling when he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She dialed Giles' familiar number and waited.

[letters and postcards i meant to respond
turned out my all was just medium
then came one that said the only thing you ever gave
were bad directions
i'd say it to your face but i can't find you]

The phone rang once...twice...three times, and still neither of them moved. "I don't live here," Cordelia protested. "You do."

"Well, he doesn't have a bloody answering machine. If it's important they'll call back," he said, resting his head on the back of the couch. "My head hurts something awful, love. I think I'll climb into the tub and take a nap and maybe accidentally drown."

"Could I join you?"

Spike cracked one eye open. "Join me?"

"In the accidental drowning."

"Oh, that. No. Tub yes, drowning no. Then it wouldn't be an accident."

Cordelia stood up. "Then you go in and I'll sit nearby and talk to you till you fall asleep."

"Sounds like a plan."

[having a headline must be some experience
having a headline's a sexual experience]

"They aren't picking up."

Buffy hung up the phone, then picked it up again, then hung it up again. "He'd kill me if I bothered him."

"Who?"

"Xander." Buffy turned around and hugged Riley. "I guess I have to go check in. Which means..."

"The date's cut short, I know," Riley said, sighing.

"Unless you want to come with me and check, of course."

Riley perked up. "That's the best idea you've had all night."

[i loved the fame and fashion till she said
you better ration the good times
i wouldn't count on the good times
having a headline must be some experience
having a headline's a sexual experience]

The CD had been set on repeat, and somewhere around the forty of fiftieth time the song had played, Giles and Ethan woke up, experiencing blurry vision, pounding headaches and foul tempers.

"What the bloody hell?" Ethan asked as he stumbled over to the CD player and shut it off.

"We got pissed, Ethan," Giles said, rubbing his head. "And I suppose we passed out."

"Well, where's the blonde bugger who helped, because I'd like to rip a new orifice in him."

"Probably in the bathroom," Giles said, stumbling to the couch...and almost falling on a sleeping Buffy and Riley. "Wake up," he said, swatting at Riley.

He opened his eyes slightly, blinking. "Buffy?" Riley said gently, shaking her and pushing Giles away in order to avoid the hand he knew would shoot out in the general of where Buffy's alarm clock usually was.

"Five more minutes," Buffy mumbled.

Giles had to smile at that, just a bit. "Wake up, Buffy."

She opened her eyes, then shut them again. "I think I had too much wine last night," she said, shaking her head.

"You and I both," Riley agreed.

Giles glanced at the now almost empty liquor cabinet. "Dear lord...that's going to be expensive to replace."

"RIPPER!" came a shout from the bathroom.

"Who was that?" Riley asked, nudging Buffy to get off the couch so he could sit up.

"Ethan Rayne," Buffy said.

"And I suppose he found Spike," Giles said, heading towards the bathroom.

"Cordy! Where's Cordy?" Buffy asked, her eyes wide open as she headed towards the bathroom.

"She in here, in the tub," Ethan said.

"She didn't...drown, did she?" Riley asked, joining the others at the doorway.

"What the bloody hell are all of *you* looking at," Spike muttered, sitting up as best he could with Cordelia next to him. "And turn off the damn light."

"Keep it down," Cordelia muttered, waking up slightly.

"Anyone know a good cure for a hangover? Because we have psych class in forty minutes," Riley said, eliciting a groan from Buffy.

Spike, Ethan and Giles looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Tomato juice and Worchestsire sauce."

"Shut *up* everyone," Cordelia muttered once more. "I need to get rid of this hangover. "