“Come on, Faith, you don’t have to do this,” he urges. I swivel my eyes to look at the man standing off to the side, watching my little showdown, complete with inner turmoil and self-doubt.
“Angel, you know I do,” I reply hollowly. I level my gaze on the man at the end of the barrel, eyeing me with wariness. “He represents everything I’ve been trying to destroy.”
Angel chuckles mirthlessly. “Faith, you know there’s no human I’d rather have wiped out of existance than Lindsey McDonald. But that’s not your job. You’re meant to kill demons and vampires, not people.”
I take my eyes off Lindsey to focus on Angel. “But there’s always an exception to the rule,” I insist. “You’re a vampire, and I haven’t killed you.”
Angel smiles, a genuine one. “Not that you didn’t try,” he reminds me.
I half-smile in return, but it disappears as I catch the movement out of the corner of my eye. I swing my eyes back to Lindsey, who is attempting to get out of the path of the gun. “Watch it, McDonald,” I warn.
Lindsey rolls his eyes. “Faith, why are you doing this to yourself?” he asks me in disgust. He waves his hand in the air, indicating everything around me. “Look at this world. It doesn’t do anything for the good guys. The only ones who succeed are the ones who aren’t too weak to take advantage of life and opportunity. When I met you, you understood that. Then you let him get to you,” he spit out.
I feel like I’m watching a tennis match. My gaze goes back to Angel, who can see the uncertainty in my eyes. “Don’t let him undo everything we’ve done together,” Angel urges. “You’ve come so far.”
“Does it matter?” I ask darkly. I feel helpless, knowing I’m slipping. Damn him. Damn Lindsey. I was doing so well. How in the hell did he get into my head? How did I let him get this power over me? He’s the devil on my shoulder to Angel’s, well, angel. Which one’s going to win? ‘Cause for all Lindsey’s faults, he’s right on this one. The good get nothing in this world. I learned that a long time ago. What made me decide it was worth trying to redeem myself?
“Faith, don’t,” Angel says softly. “Don’t second-guess yourself. You did the right thing and you know it.”
“Do I?” I ask quickly. My right hand lowers gradually, dropping the gun to my side. Lindsey breathes an imperceptible sigh of relief. “Maybe all I know right now is that Lindsey’s right. The world doesn’t favor the good. I knew that for years, until you decided to become the savior that right now, I don’t really think I needed.”
I can see the disappointment in Angel’s eyes. He’s thinking he’s lost me. I don’t know. Maybe he has. Maybe he hasn’t. I can’t think with the two of them telling me why I should follow their lead. When did I become the sheep? How did I get to the point where I had to look to someone else to guide me? Maybe it’s time I made a decision for myself.
Dropping the gun, I turn to Angel. “You’re right,” I admit. I can see the relief overshadow the disappointment. Reaching inside my jacket, I pull out the one thing I can always depend on, besides myself. I take a quick step over to Angel, not trembling in the least. I feel calm, confident. I finally know what I’m doing, for the first time in a long time. “I don’t kill people. I kill vampires.” With a quick motion, I slip the stake straight into his heart. There’s the briefest flash of shock, pain, and regret before he’s gone, a pile of ashes lingering at my feet.
I step back, glancing quickly at Lindsey, whose mouth is hanging open. “Better shut it before something nasty decides it’s an open invitation,” I tease lightly, sliding the stake back into my jacket pocket. I hold out an arm. “I heard that Lilah got offed. You in the mood for another partner?” I ask casually.
Lindsey’s expression shifts from shock to pleasure. “When she has your attitude and looks, how can I say no?” he returns. He takes my arm and starts to lead me back to Angel’s car.
I don’t look back at Angel’s remains. I don’t need to. There’s no uncertainty in me anymore, no need for reassurance. Being evil is the simple choice.
Someone should have told Angel not to underestimate the attraction of simplicity.