Willow threw up.

It was fascinating, watching her vomit up the coppery red life force she’d just drained from my old algebra teacher. Then I too felt an old human instinct kick in. I held Willow’s head as she retched, then cradled her to me, murmuring soothing words and rubbing her back, doing everything I could to comfort her. When she was more composed I pulled back from her.

She looked up at me; fear, rage, and uncertainty battled for control in her expressive green eyes. “Xander, what’s happening to me?” she cried, confused.

“I don’t know, Willow, but we’re going to find out,” I vowed.

“How?” she demanded, her eyes narrowed and glittering dangerously.

“Same way we solved problems when we were alive,” I shrugged. “We go to Giles.”

“He won’t help us!” she protested. “He’d rather kill us. It’s been two years-it’s not like he has any of those old warm, fuzzy feelings left.”

“We’ll promise not to kill him or Buffy or any of the new Slayerettes, if there are any,” I offered. “Besides, it’s Giles. He’ll be so excited for the chance to research something new and to ‘help us’ that he’ll risk it.”

“I suppose,” she allowed reluctantly. She checked the clock. “Ten-thirty. Do you think he’s still at the library?”

“Can’t hurt to check. Let’s go.” I slung my arm around her shoulders, letting my hand rest possessively on her breast, and we left for our second venture of the night.

Not too much later, we quietly eased into the deserted school, slipping silently into the shadowed stacks. Giles was, predictably, ensconced in his books.

“Shouldn’t read so much, G-man. Bad for your health. You might work yourself into an early grave. . .” I trailed off suggestively, emerging from the darkened rows of books. I could see his back stiffen, could feel his heart quicken its beat. I smiled coldly, knowing he had recognized not only my voice, but my unique greeting for him.

“Xander,” he said slowly.

“And he wins the prize! What do we have for the man, Willow?” I asked sardonically, descending the stairs. Again, I could sense the older man’s sorrow at the remembrance of his protégé’s evolution from Slayerette to that which she helped slay.

“Hmm, Xander, I do believe it’s the chance to escape a brutal, tormenting death,” Willow mocked. She floated down the steps behind me, molding her body to my back. I hissed, realizing for the first time that we’d never gotten around to our post-kill sex. “Let’s make this quick,” she urged, reading my thoughts.

“Fine.” I turned to Giles. “We’re having a slight problem, and we need your help,” I informed him. “In exchange, you get to live.”

“What sort of problem, exactly?” he inquired warily, curious in spite of himself.

“Well, see, ever since that little run-in with Spike two years ago, Willow and I have been vampires. Now, the thing is, vampires can’t do human things-“

“Except sex. Sex is good,” Willow piped up from behind me, making Giles blush.

“Vampires can’t do human things,” I began again, “or feel human emotions. Yet, Willow and I have been experiencing them both lately. We want to know how that’s possible.”

“Well, I would be willing to help you,” Giles admitted slowly. I grinned triumphantly at Willow, but Giles wasn’t done. “If you vow not to harm me, Buffy, or anyone at all, even.”

“Wait a minute,” I protested. I glared at him. “You, yes. Buffy, sure. But no one at all? We have to kill. It’s how we survive.”

“Angel has an arrangement with the hospital. I’ll get him to let you two in on it,” Giles promised. “But in order for me to help you figure out what’s wrong with you the two of you, I need your word that you won’t kill anyone.”

I glanced at Willow. This undertaking was more for her benefit than it was mine. She looked pained, but nodded affirmation. “I guess it seems we have no choice.”

“All right then. Would you care to sit down and we’ll discuss what has happened thus far?” He gestured towards the table that we had sat around so many times before. Willow and I sat down gingerly; me in my old chair and Willow in my lap. She toyed with some of my hair and lightly nipped at my neck. “Why doesn’t one of you start?” he prompted.

I looked to Willow. She pouted but started. “It’s happened a couple times, actually,” she admitted reluctantly. I stared hard at her. She’d never mentioned anything like that happening before. “I’ll get home after a particularly satisfying kill and all of a sudden my stomach will start to heave and I’ll be throwing up blood everywhere.”

“Odd. Anything else?” Giles asked, a frown on his face.

“Yeah. I’ve been hungry a lot lately, only, not for blood, but for human food. The other night I was craving pistachios like crazy,” she added. I felt a pang of longing when I remembered how pistachios had been our favorite snack as children. The jolt of memory and emotion confused and angered me.

“Damn it, Giles, what is going on here?” I exploded, shoving Willow out of my lap so I could get up and pace. “Willow may have been experiencing all these human physiological failings, but I’ve been getting the emotional end of the mortal defects. I’ve been bombarded with all sorts of feelings that I can’t control and don’t understand, and I despise not being in control!” I howled. My rage consumed me and my face slipped into its demon mask. Willow looked up at me, thrilled with the violent anger I was exuding.

Giles just sat back, calm as ever, and wiped his glasses on his shirt. “The answer may be simpler than either of you could imagine.” We looked at him curiously. “I suppose that the two of you never came across any mention of half-vampires?” he asked off-handedly. With a growing sense of alarm, I glanced at Willow, whose eyes displayed the same uneasy confusion.

“No, I never knew anything about half-vampires. I didn’t know such a thing existed,” I replied. My heart, if it had been beating in the first place, would have skipped one at the look in his eyes.

“Then I suppose it’s never occurred to you that you might be one,” he stated simply.