“We’re not going to kill you,” Willow allowed in a bored tone of voice. She tossed the crossbow down to me and I in turn handed it to Giles. Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

“Giles, what’s going on?” she asked tremulously. Giles sighed and launched into one of his customary long-winded speeches. When he had finished explaining the situation to Buffy’s satisfaction, she sank down into the chair opposite mine. She watched me closely.

“How can you be a killer one moment and then eager to be more human the next?” she asked quietly. Her arms were folded over her breasts and she wasn’t budging an inch, although she seemed to give us the benefit of the doubt for the time being.

“I don’t know,” I confessed. “Once I understood what was happening, what I was, it was like my subconscious made the decision that I needed to be more human than vampire. I can’t explain it. I reveled in being evil, but once I knew that I could stop if I wanted to, then I wanted to.” I felt Willow move to stand beside me.

“I felt the same,” she confessed in her quiet, unobtrusive human-Willow voice. “I didn’t want the demon to be the dominant force once I knew that I could keep it at bay,” she added. I held her hand and tugged her into my lap. She snuggled close to me and I felt reassured to know that although we would keep the murderous urges of our demons in check, we would continue to let the passion they felt control our responses to each other.

Buffy’s eyes brightened with tears and she jumped up to hug us. Both Willow and I hissed and she jumped back, hurt. “Buffy, you have to understand,” I started.

“We’re not the same Willow and Xander you were friends with,” Willow continued. “We’re going to try to control ourselves, but it’s going to be hard. And we’re not ‘souled’ like Angel is. We’re not the same. We’re still vampires, vampires with the demon still inside. True, we’re partially human, but we’re still partially the distrustful, distanced demon as well. It’s going to take time before we can respond to you like we used to, if we can at all.”

Buffy nodded, blinking back the tears that wanted to rush forward. “Okay,” she allowed, taking a deep breath. “We’re just going to have to concentrate on helping you two beat your demons.”

“And we’re going to have to be particularly careful with Willow,” Giles cautioned. We looked to him, not understanding what he meant. “Now that she is with child, her moods and hormones are going to fluctuate continuously. There are going to be times that Xander may well be the only one allowed near her, the only one who can help her control what she’s feeling. Her vampiric tendencies are going to be multiplied with her raging hormones. There will be times that she’ll be more dangerous than anyone ever imagined.”

I looked down at Willow, still snuggled against my chest, amused to see the self-satisfied smirk on her face. I had to remind myself that she might be allowing her human qualities to dominate the vampire, but she still had the demon in her, and it wanted to gloat about the power it could wield.

“Pregnant,” Willow sighed reluctantly. She shook her head ruefully. “Who ever knew that we needed protection?” she asked me with a small smile. I smiled back.

“Would that have stopped us?” I queried rhetorically. I didn’t even need to ask the question; there was no way Willow and I would have been able to keep away from each other even knowing the possibility of pregnancy was real. She shook her head again, giving me a lustful look that caused me to clench the arms of the chair tightly. “Will, you better stop that,” I warned. She grinned playfully, knowing the effect she had on me. Buffy expelled a sigh and we immediately stopped our playing.

“Vampires that don’t have to worry about losing their souls are no fun to be around,” she complained. She pouted, evidently thinking about her you-can-look-but-you-can’t-touch policy with Angel.

“Sorry,” we chorused contritely. She managed a half-grin and shrugged her shoulders.

“Buffy, how did the slaying go tonight?” Giles asked, maneuvering the subject back to safe territory.

“Predictable,” she sighed. “Three vamps, all tried to make me think they’re the strongest vamp since the Master, all had bad fashion sense, all had bad one-liners, all are now dust.”

I felt Willow stiffen on my lap, and I knew what she was feeling. “Giles, I think we’ll be leaving now,” I announced, getting up. I held Willow suspended in the air, curled up in my arms like a contented kitten. “No offense, but we’re not ready for this.”

“Of course,” he responded sympathetically. That’s Giles for you. Sympathy for a vampire. No one else in his position would ever have even thought about it. Especially not a Watcher.

“So, we’ll see you guys tomorrow?” Buffy questioned casually. Her eyes were guarded. She still couldn’t trust us. Smart girl. “With bags of blood for your first non-human meal?” So that was what was bothering her.

“We will not feed on humans from this night,” Willow vowed. Her eyes glittered and I could tell her anger was mounting. “We gave you our word. That will have to be enough. The integrity and honesty Willow was full of is still there. It’s just been lying dormant these last two years. Be ready with those bags. We’ll be back at sundown tomorrow.”

“All right,” Buffy allowed. Her eyes were sad as Willow and I turned and walked away.

“Buffy, it’ll get easier,” I heard Giles promise, his voice fading like a withered flower.

“My two best friends are vampires, Giles,” she reminded him in a small voice. “It’s never gotten easier. It’s all my fault. They’re vampires because I had a fling with Spike.”