But one day, the man -- who's name was Billy, by the way -- decided that he'd seen enough of his little patch of the country, and wanted to visit other places. Like New York. So the next day, he set out, with only his horse Ed, his saddlebags, and his ATM card. And did I mention that Billy originally hailed from sunny California? So he had quite a ways to go.

The first day, he didn't make it very far, just the ten miles from his house to Palm Springs. It was very discouraging, but Billy was bound and determined to ride Ed up to the base of the Statue of Liberty. Maybe even up the stairs to the top. Besides, he was 70, and he didn't really have anything else to do.

So he continued across the desert at his leisurely pace, and after a few weeks, reached Las Vegas. There, he met up with a 65-year old stripper named Dixie, who thought his quest was worthy and asked to join him. Billy agreed, and after making quite a few trips to the ATM and losing quite a bit of money, the two set out a few days later.

Two months after that, they reached the eastern seaboard, heading first to Atlantic City. Dixie met up with her ex-husband, Buster, who owned one of the casinos, and she and Billy used her divorce settlement to their advantage, spending the next two weeks in the Presidential Suite, while Ed and Duke (Dixie's horse) were used in one of the stage shows. Afterwards, there was a stain on Billy's saddle that never would come out, and he always wondered what those damn showgirls had done on it, but figured he probably didn't really want to know.

The ride up the coast was beautiful, and Billy and Dixie found themselves riding into New York City before too long. Dixie had always wanted to see Times Square, so they headed in that direction. When they arrived, she noticed a familiar looking man, and realized it was Regis Philbin (Author's Note: Bri wanted me to use David Boreanez or Carson Daly here, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There's just something about Reeg). "Hold my horse," she instructed Billy, then climbed off and approached the celebrity.

"Hi there," she said, in her best 'I'm a stripper' voice. "I'm a big fan. I'd do *anything* to spend some time with you, Mr. Philbin."

The talk show host simply looked at her, then looked over to Billy, still sitting on Ed in the middle of Times Square. "Maybe you and your boyfriend could come be on the show," he suggested.

"Oh, Billy isn't my boyfriend," Dixie was quick to correct.

At that, Regis finally looked interested. "Really?" He strode over to where Billy was holding the horses. "Excuse me," he said to the other man. "Would you and your friend be interested in being on Regis and Kelly? You could come over after the show, and the two of us could go riding," he said with a slight leer.

Billy just shook his head. "Nope. We've gotta get up to the Statue of Liberty, no time for television," he declined. "But maybe on the way back through," he offered, and Regis smiled and nodded.

"I'd love to ride you...err...with you," Dixie spoke up, batting her eyelashes at Regis.

He shook his head, still looking towards Billy. "No, that's okay," he declined. "I should get to work." He quickly excused himself, much to Dixie's chagrin.

"Well, we should get back on the road," Billy said.

Dixie glared at him. "Why did you have to be so darn sexy?" she muttered, climbing back onto Duke.

"It's a talent," Billy shot back.

They rode in silence towards the ferry that would take them to the statue. When they arrived, they paid the fare and rode onto the boat, after arguing for a while with the captain that it didn't say anything in the rules about bringing horses onto the ferry. Finally, they would be able to complete their goal.

They stepped off the ferry a little while later, and stood, gawking, at the base of the statue. "It's much bigger than I imagined," Billy said softly.

"Do you think they'll let us up with the horses?" Dixie asked.

A park ranger, standing nearby, overheard them and came over. "No," he replied. "You can't get those horses up the staircase."

Dixie pouted. "But we've come all the way across the country," she said, her words whistling a bit through the gap in her front teeth.

The ranger, who wasn't immune to her feminine wiles, gave in. "All right," he agreed. "But if you get in trouble, it's not my fault."

The ride up wasn't easy. It was a very tight fit in the stairwell, but eventually they made it. Billy stood in the observation tower, tears streaming down his face. "I can die in peace now," he said.

"You'd better not," Dixie admonished. "We've still got to get home, and I'm pretty sure that Regis won't let me into the studio without you."

As they turned to head back down, the horses panicked. They wouldn't go down, even when Billy and Dixie got off and tried to lead them down. And they wouldn't fit in the elevator. So, with a shrug and a "goodbye, old friend," they left the horses there and headed home.