I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re good together. For some reason, he cares about me. He actually wants to know what’s going on in my mind. And normally that’s a good thing, ‘cause what’s on my mind, is him. Him, with no clothes. And me, riding him like a stallion. He likes that, ‘cause we usually end up acting out my imagination.

But then there’s the times, few as they may be, when I’m not thinking of screwing him to Eternity. And sometimes I actually am thinking about serious stuff, like mortality and ethics. Yeah, I know, surprised the hell out of me, too. Those are the times that drive me nuts because he still wants to know what I’m thinking. And when I tell him, his eyes don’t blank and his jaw doesn’t go slack and he doesn’t tune me out like most of the Toms, Dicks, and Harrys that I’ve been with.

Then there’s Xander.

And man, has he screwed up my perception of the rose-colored world the Scoobies insist on living in.

For so long, I thought they all disliked me. They barely tolerated me. I was the second Slayer, the second best. The one they called when the going got tough and they needed someone who could kick a little tail and not break a sweat doing it. But never the one they called to party with. Never the one they called to spill secrets to, never the one whose shoulder they cried on.

Well, I can cut ‘em a little credit. I never was the type of chick to go in for the bonding crap. Unless it included satin-lined handcuffs and a blindfold.

But like I said, Xander changed all that.

He came along, actually *noticed* that my mask slipped and I looked at B wistfully when she and the witch decided to party at the Bronze, and hung behind as they motored. And he asked me if I wanted to go with them. I shrugged it off, said I had better things to do than party with self-important high school beauty queens, and made a move to go.

And damn him, he took my hand and asked if I wanted to go somewhere with him. And I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t look at those big, hopeful brown eyes, and say no. So we went and he bought me an ice cream cone.

And *ice cream* cone, for Christ’s sake. When have I ever hung with a Y chromosome and eaten *ice cream*? Most of the things I’ve eaten when I’m with guys… Well, cream, but not the icy kind.

After the ice cream, Xander and I tooled around some of the cemeteries, staked a few sharp-toothed, breathing-challenged uglies. We had a real conversation. And it was a wicked strange feeling to know that a guy was interested in my mind instead of my tits… Although I caught him checking the puppies out more than a couple times.

That was the first of many unusual dates that Xander and I had.

I’ve thought a lot of times about picking up and hauling butt outta Hellmouth Central, but I can’t do it. I never had any ties before; now there’s Xander. The one reason I have to stay. Despite him, though, the urge to keep moving is so strong.

But the more I think about packing up and getting out, the more it hurts to think I’ll be leaving him behind.

But anyway.

I figure, the going’s always good. I can leave anytime. But for right now, I got a reason to stay. Might as well take advantage of it while I got it. I’ve got all the time in the world to be alone. Right now, I have a little taste of what the other, *normal* people get. And I kinda like it.

“Sweetie, you doing okay?” Xander asks, concerned. He nuzzles my neck and I twist in his arms to smile up at him.

“Better than ever, babe,” I say with a saucy grin. “Except you’re wearing too many clothes for my taste.”

Xander chuckles. “Wearing clothes is a popular option for daytime trips to the store for guys who want to get their girlfriends the mocha swirl ice cream said girlfriend is craving.”

I lower my eyelashes provocatively. “Why do you think I *wanted* the ice cream?” I purr innocently. Only those two concepts sound completely antithetical.

Xander leans down to kiss me on the nose-the nose, what the hell, what have I been reduced to? Cute displays of affection with my, dare I say it, *boyfriend*?

Xander’s impish grin turns serious and he reaches up to caress my face, sweeping my hair back away from my forehead. “You know how much I love you, right, Faith?” he asks softly.

My heart freezes for about half a second. I’ve never heard those words being spoken to me before. And where before it might have scared the hell out of me, now it only reassures me that I’m where I need to be.

“I know you do, Xander,” I admit. I take a deep breath, look him straight in the eye, and confess what’s in my heart. “And I love you too.”

Xander’s eyes widen and his jaw drops open slightly, but he quickly covers his shock with playfulness. “Of course you love me. I’m the Xand-man.” He sees my slight scowl and hurries to make amends. “*Your* Xand-man,” he adds quickly.

I roll my eyes affectionately and I tilt my head up just a fraction, sliding my lips over his and plunging my tongue into his mouth.

When he breaks the kiss, due to lack of air, I come up smiling. What was that I said earlier about someone helping me?

Help me hold on to this man forever, maybe.