Last night was so different, and it had to be the reason that her heart was doing those strange fluttery things. She’d never let her guard down before, but she felt so safe in Xander’s arms. She’d gone over there to screw his brains out, and had ended up falling in love with him.

Faith winced as the term rolled around in her brain. Love. She’d always scoffed at it, had never believe the real emotion existed. But one night of being in Xander’s arms, feeling his unconditional love surround her, and she was lost. She knew from the moment she admitted it to herself, that she'd been half-in love with him for as long as she’d known him. Xander had always been different with her, not like the loser she’d always gotten with. So in her eyes, though she’d refused to admit it, she’d felt differently with him, too.

He was the reason she stayed.

Faith sighed. Nothing had made sense in her life since she’d woken up from her coma. Least of all her feelings for Xander. But she knew that she couldn’t leave until she knew what was going on with them, why he meant so much to her. So one night, when she felt ready to handle the fall-out, she went home with him, like it was the most natural thing in the world. And she’d expected to screw him and then confront him. But that wasn’t what had happened.

Xander had done the exact opposite thing of any guy she’d ever been with, any guy she ever thought about being with. And that had sealed her fate. She wouldn’t admit it, couldn’t admit it, to anyone but herself, but she knew that Xander would keep her there until he didn’t want her anymore. Maybe longer.

Xander’s eyes fluttered open and he caught a glimpse of Faith looking at him tenderly, before the guard slipped over her eyes. He reached out and grabbed her hand, holding on tightly when she tried to pull it away from him. “Morning, Faith,” he said quietly.

“Morning, Xand,” Faith said easily. She rolled out of the bed and started to pull on her clothes, heading for the door as she went. “Thanks for letting me crash, I’ll be seeing ya.”

Xander closed his eyes. “Faith, don’t go,” he pleaded. Faith paused.

“Sorry, Xand-man, but you know I got places to be, leather to buy, sex toys to use,” Faith responded casually, smiling cheerfully, her heart thumping.

Xander swallowed quickly. “Faith, come on. I know there’s something more in you than a cheap slut who doesn’t care about herself or anyone else.”

Faith blinked, her hands trembling behind her back. “I don’t know what you think you know about me, Xander, but trust me, there’s nothing there worth caring about.”

Xander stood up, taking Faith’s hand in his, noting with surprise that she was trembling. “That’s where you’re wrong, Faith.” He pulled Faith down beside him. “You know what I see? I see a beautiful woman who is dangerous and sexy, but intelligent as hell and completely unique and interesting and fun to be around.”

Faith tried not to let his words affect her, but she couldn’t help the blush that lit her cheeks. “Yeah, right,” she said uncomfortably. She tried to pull away from Xander but he held on firmly.

“Yeah, right,” Xander said sternly. “I meant every word, Faith.”

Faith just looked at him, uncomfortable as hell but her heart soaring with every reassurance he gave her. “You know what, Xander? I don’t appreciate the bull-shit. I’ve made my life and I’m happy with it, so don’t think some little slayer-wannabe like yourself is going to change it.”

Xander sighed. “It isn’t bull-shit, Faith. I’ve cared about you for a long time, and I don’t want you to be hurt. But I don’t want you to throw your life away, either.” He watched her face, gauging it for any sign of emotion. He was heartened when he saw a flicker of something warm in her eyes.

Faith laughed hollowly. “You don’t want me to get hurt. Well, you fucked that one up.”

Xander flinched. “How, Faith?” he asked quietly.

“You didn’t let go when you could have,” she said softly.

Xander stared at her in amazement. He took a deep breath before he confessed what had been in his heart for a long time. “I couldn’t let you go, Faith. I’ve been in love with you for a whole year, I’m not going to let you run away from me again. Not until you give us a chance.”

Faith’s eyes flew open wide in panic. She bolted off the bed and stumbled towards the door. “Don’t talk to me about love,” she hissed, her eyes darting from the foot of the stairs to the top, making sure her escape route was clear.

Xander winced. He’d taken a shot and he’d been denied. “Faith, I’m sorry,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “But I don’t know how to get through to you.”

Faith calmed down a little bit, seeing that Xander wasn’t coming after her. “Don’t try, okay? Save yourself the time and trouble.”

Xander stared at her helplessly. “Don’t you see, Faith? To me, you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

Faith blinked, humiliated by the sudden rush of tears that poured down her cheeks. “Xander, we are *not* having this conversation!” she insisted frantically.

Xander got up and wrapped his arms around her, relieved when she didn’t try and run or push him away. “Faith, it’s always going to be there, that thing between us. Why don’t you just give it a chance?”

Faith closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of being in Xander’s arms. Her resolve to push him away weakened as she admitted to herself that she wanted to do what Xander suggested, wanted to try being with him. “Xander, I don’t think you get it. It doesn’t matter that I love you, things with us just won’t work out.” She didn’t catch what she’d said until she saw Xander’s eyes widen and his Adam’s apple work convulsively.

“You love me?” he whispered.

Faith sagged against him, knowing she’d been stupid enough to let her guard down enough for Xander to get in. Figuring she might as well throw herself on the stake, she nodded her head. “I do. I don’t know how, ‘cause I don’t even believe in love, but I love you.”

Xander tightened his arms around her. “Faith, nothing that’s right is ever easy. But please, give us a chance?” he pleaded. “The only thing that would hurt more than you walking away from me is knowing that you love me too, and you still wouldn’t try.”

Faith looked in his eyes and took a deep breath. “Xander, nothing’s ever been easy with me. The only easy thing in my life has been you. Loving you.”

Xander looked at her hopefully. “Does this mean you’re going to give us a chance?” he asked quietly.

Faith nodded, sighing. “The fact that I can open up to you as much as I have already tells me that there’s something there that I’ve never found before. And honestly, I don’t want to give it up. I’m scared shitless. I’ve never trusted anybody before enough to be honest with them, to fall in love with them. But that just tells me that you’re nothing like I’ve ever experienced. And you might not hurt me the way I’m expecting you to.”

Xander tucked Faith’s head under his chin and caressed her hair. “Faith, I’ll do anything in my power to keep from hurting you.”

Faith closed her eyes and willed her body to relax. “Thank you, Xander. For taking a chance with me. For caring enough about me to not let me push you away.”

Xander chuckled. “Faith, caring about you is as natural as the rising of the sun.”

Faith smiled, not caring that her next words were probably the sappiest thing she’d ever say in her life. “And today, Xander, we’re rising with it.”