Damn. I can't.

It's not often you find yourself on the wrong end of a fight with an InkiKouhai demon. It's a bad thing, because that's a type of demon who only goes after people who are destined to lead a melancholy life, and cause their death to be insignificant and meaningless.

I never thought I'd be a victim of his. But I guess, with the way my life turned out...

I've already destroyed my guitar over it's head, and watching the pieces scatter around him and the thing *still* moving towards me scared me.

And then he caught me. I hoped for a quick, painless death, like Larry had at graduation. Did you know they finally found his body, just his bones, beneath the rubble of the school? Devon told me.

Devon...man, what's he going to do.

And Willow.

God, Willow...

Every day, I sit, and I look at a picture of her. It's the same picture I thanked her for 300 times when she gave it to me, because I always wanted a picture of her and she was always so...shy.

300 times I showed how much I loved her.

And now, every day, I curse myself 300 times for leaving her. 300 times a day leads to a melancholy existence.

And this...thing...knows it. He knows the way to make my heart break a piece at a time.

He's playing this song, a sad song that I've never heard. It's sounding classical, I don't know. It's about empty chairs at empty tables...death...people not coming home...

I want to go home, to Sunnydale...

To Willow.

And now that I feel the last of my heart breaking, I can't leave listening to sad songs without a prayer to a God I don't really believe in.

Please, God...make everyone else okay. And make me feel happy for the first time in a long time when I get to Heaven.

If I get there.

And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for messing up my life.

Forgive me.