To the tune of Gilligan's Island

Just sit right back and I'll start my tale of vampires fierce and cruel!
Of evil, blood, the lust and such of all the vampire's tools.
Lacroix was the leader of this group, his skill was sharp and true.
No one would ever challenge him, but a writer name Sue.
A writer named Sue.

He saw a lady named Janette, a prostitute by trade.
He brought her over to his kind and helped her make the grade.
She would never again be laid!

Janette spied a mighty crusader, a knight so brave and true.
She wanted him. She lusted for him. She would make him, her own.
Lacroix stepped in, took his blood and then, a vampire he was too!

They moved to Toronto, years later, their jobs were right on top.
Lacroix a DJ, Janette a barowner, and Nicholas a cop!
Schanke and Miss Natalie will do their very best,
To keep them from discovery, with Cohen and the rest.

NO COFFINS! NO SUN! JUST BLOOD WITH WINE! And every luxury.
Unlike Old Count Dracula, they're not primitive as was he.

So join us here each night my friend, have fun and what the heck? But stay away from the Raven, or fangs will pierce you neck!

(God, this is getting worse, huh?)

(OK so it's crazy! But that's the point!)