At First
By Felicity
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this poem or the situation. They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc.
Author's Note: This is from Willow's PoV after Becoming 2.
At first
I expected her to turn up
At any moment.
I thought
She’d just be there
Making some joke
About being held up in traffic.
But that was a long time ago.
I’ve given up expecting now
Given up hoping.
Now I just pray.
No I just wish
And wonder.
At first
I thought she never would have left
Just like that.
Not Buffy.
Not without anything.
And then I realized
She did.
At first
I was expectant
And then frustrated
And now I’m sad
That she didn’t think us
Important enough
To come back to.
That she couldn’t
Come back.
And angry
That she wouldn’t.
And I don’t know
Which is stronger
The anger
Or the sadness
The fear
That she won’t come back
Not ever
And I’ll never have the chance
To tell her
How I felt
At first
How I feel
Now.
And how I still love her
No matter what.
If she would only
Come back.