Don't Leave Me
By Jessica

SPOILER WARNING: Everything up until 'The Prom.' Basically Angel hasn't 'dumped'Buffy.
RATING: PG
CONTENT: Nothing bad, minor language, and mention of sex.
SUMMARY: Buffy convinces Angel of her love for him, so they don't break up. I had to rewrite 'The Prom' it was just too painful.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Don't sue me, I have NOTHING to give.
NOTES: This starts off in the sewer where in the episode Angel broke up with Buffy, however this does not happen in my world.... Oh yeah, I thought this would be better from Buffy's point of view. So this is in first person.

I jumped down the manhole to be caught by Angel. Ugh, I hated the sewers. "I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers."

Angel started to move, "I'm sure I saw him come down here," he said. He was so focused on slaying today, no humor could crack him. I was beginning to wonder what was up with him. I suddenly wanted out of there, the stench of the lovely underground was nauseating.

"Could we just let this be the vamp that away? We could say he was this big," I asked, making a hand motion. It was on days like these where I especially hated my line of work. Angel continued down the tunnel.

"What can I say, I need closure," he said. We continued down searching for the vamp that had managed to get away from us. I was starting to get agitated, when we found the dude I was going to hurt him. As we searched my mind wondered off to other things. Like the prom. I could not wait, finally the one high school even I could attend normally. Angel would look so good in a tux----

"You need clothes," I suddenly realized. Angel didn't own any formal wear that I knew of. This meant that we could go shopping. I was liking this.

"Since when did patrolling go black tie?" he asked. I couldn't tell if he was joking. He was being so distant lately.

"For the prom, silly," I reminded him. Silly was so not the word.

"We have more important things to think about right now than a dance, Buffy," he snapped at me. God! What the hell was eating him. You'd think if he loved me as much as he said he did, he would be thrilled at the prospect to go to the prom with me, but no, he was being distant and way too uninterested.

"Sorry, *Giles*. I'll just be quiet now," I shot back at him. He deserved that.

"Come on. Don't be that way," he said. That was the best he could do? Ok, he was really starting to piss me off. Just then that damn vamp that we were down here in the first place looking for decided now would be a good time to show his ugly demonic face.

"Not now," I muttered as I plunged my stake into the demon's heart, getting that same feeling of satisfaction I always got when I killed evil vamps. I was getting close to staking Angel. "I'm not being that way. Every time I say the word 'prom' you get grouchy," I finally told him.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried you're getting too invested in this whole thing," he said. What!? Too invested? What the hell was he talking about?

"What whole thing? Isn't this the stuff I'm supposed to get invested in?" Wasn't a prom part of normal lives? "Going to a formal, graduating, growing up?" Did any of that ring a bell?

"I know," he said. Then he walked away. What was wrong? This was going to come out here, today.

"Then what? What's with the dire?" I asked. Dire didn't begin to explain what he was acting like. He was acting like Giles, that's who he was acting like.

"It's uh, it's nothing," he said. What a lame answer. Did he think that I couldn't see through him?

"No. You have "something" face." How true that was. He was so bad at hiding things. Then he said words I'd never thought I'd hear from him.

"I think we need to talk. But not now, not here," he finally spit out. Not here? Why the hell not!? Cryptic guy was going to spill.

"No. If you have something to say, then say it. Angel, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me," I told him. Scaring me? Oh yeah, I had no idea what was going through his head.

"I've been thinking....about our future. And the more I do, the more I think that us, you and I being together, is unfair to you." So that was it. That damn mayor, he was going to pay. Now he had planted these false ideas in my boyfriend's head. How was I supposed to convince him that he was dead wrong?

"Is this about what the mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up," I told him.

Angel sighed. "He was right," he said. As he said that I felt as if I had been struck by a physical blow. The mayor couldn't have been more wrong.

"No. No he wasn't. He's the bad guy!" I practically screamed at him. I was so frustrated, why couldn't Angel see? The mayor was going down, he was evil, what did he know about a good relationship? Nothing!

"You deserve more. You deserve something outside of just demons and darkness. I mean, you should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you," he told me, pain evident on his face. I didn't care. Sure, I had wanted to make love to Angel again, but that meant losing him again. It wasn't worth that. I'd rather have a hands off relationship then none at all.

"I don't care about that!" I shouted at him. Why oh why couldn't he see?

"You will, and children," he continued. Children??? Not for me!

"Children? Can we say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish!" That was true too. I am so irresponsible it isn't even funny. Angel looked so pained. But what about me? Did he even think of how this was affecting me? No of course not, he was just thinking about the future. The long run, the two mile. He didn't even consider the short run, the 50 meter dash.

"Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it you'll want it all, a normal life," he further went on. Normal? Hello!? He was not even looking at the whole picture. I had known I will never have kids, I didn't want them. It would be unfair to them.

"I'll never have a normal life," I told him quietly. As if he could have forgotten.

"Oh right, you'll always be the slayer. But that's all the more reason you should have a real relationship, instead of this---freak show," he concluded. Freak show? I felt my eyes well up. Now was not the time to cry. It was true though, we were all freaks. But shouldn't that mean that we're good for each other? Apparently Angel could see how much his comment had affected me.

"I didn't mean that," he said softly. Of course not. He was lying through his teeth. His fangs, whatever.

I needed to get out of there. I had had about all I could take of this conversation. It was obvious that Angel was being an ass. "I'm going to go now," I mumbled as I turned around to leave. He grabbed my arm, God how I loved it when he touched me.

"I'm sorry. All right, Buffy? You know how much I love you. It kills me to say this," he apologized. So if it killed him, then why was he doing it? He's so stupid! How can he be sorry? He's meant every word so far.

"Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me?! You think I haven't thought about this?" I finally yelled at him. It was my life, and if I had any say in it he was going to be in it. And I had considered the mayor's words. But I figured we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.

"Have you? Rationally?" he asked me, doubt heavy in his voice. So that was it. He thought I was so naive that I wouldn't have cared about the future.

"No. No of course not, I'm just some swoony little school girl, right!?" I exploded at him. He was blind when it came to me, I see this now.

"I'm just trying to do what's right here. OK? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart," he said, finally trying to tell me his motivation. The jerk. His head? Yeah, right. If he were thinking with his head, he'd see that this was killing me. Literally.

"A heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating," I lashed out at him. That was harsh, and I knew it. I so didn't even care. Angel had obviously been affected by that comment. He was being an ass and he deserved it.

"Don't," he managed to say. Ha!

"Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry, ok? I didn't know I got a choice in that! I'm never going to change. I can't change! I want my life to be with you," I confessed. Every one of those words were true. I would never ever change. So why would he want me to move on, when I can't? He was the cruel one. He was absolutely not thinking of me. "You are being such a bastard!" I screamed. Then I was on a role. He was going to get a piece of my mind. "I love you so goddamned much, and you don't even care. All you can think about is you! You!!!!! You're so fucking scared of the future, you don't even consider my thoughts on the matter. Don't you know that as you say these words I'm dying on the inside! Do you?! No! Of course not, you're just thinking, "it's better," and other bullshit like that. Well I got news for you, vamp guy! You can't ever get rid of me. You're stuck with me. Because I love you so much I would literally die if you left, you don't want that on your conscience, do you?" I finished, for now. Angel looked literally torn. His face was pale, if it was possible to be paler than it normally.

"You're right," he finally said. "Buffy, you're mother came by yesterday and told me that there were hard choices ahead. And that she didn't think you could make them, so I had to. The mayor really had got me thinking, Buffy. But I love you so much. I cry myself to sleep each night because I can't love you like I'd like to. It hurts so much. But you're absolutely right. I am scared. I'm scared that one day you will wake up and decide you want more. And I wouldn't be able to handle it. Buffy, I've accepted it when you wanted space, not to see me, but it's hurt like hell. And I would know, I've been there. I couldn't handle losing you either," he finished. I was shocked. We were thinking the same thing.

"Angel, we can make this work. We really can. Look, Willow was able to restore your soul, maybe there's a chance she can make it permanent. Angel, we love each other so much, don't take this away," I pleaded with him. He finally smiled and took me in his arms. It felt so good. I realized that I would have to deal with my mother later, because I was furious with her at the moment. But for now I was going to relish that I had my Angel with me, and he wasn't going anywhere. "So, we still need to get you a tux for the prom," I said. He laughed and nodded. I grinned and snuggled up against his chest. We would make it, we would.

The End!!!
(See, now wasn't that better than what Joss did?)