Sally

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Last Stand

Dear Felicity,
I'm sorry it's taken me so long
to get back to you.
It's been a real struggle in Sante Fe.
I guess when your heart gets broken,
you sort of see the cracks in everything.
I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us,
and that our mission is never to let it.
Two weeks ago, I was going to move again.
I was all packed; I was going to
start all over somewhere new.
That morning I received your first tape from college.
I just sat there in my little
apartment listening to your voice,
crying like a baby.
Suddenly, you were tutoring me.
I guess, I'm learning little by little that
we decide what our lives are gonna be.
Things happen to us.
But it's our reactions that matter.
I just want you to know,
I think you've made a really great choice.
And I can't wait to hear what happens.

Hot Objects

Dear Felicity,
OK brace yourself.
A guy asked me out.
He's a teacher at the elementary school.
His name's Emmitt, for God sakes.
But I said no for now.
I'm still not ready to move past John.
It's sort of like what you were saying
on your last tape.
How, on one hand,
expectations can inspire you,
but then again,
they can really let you down.
I'm just not ready to be let down quite yet.
But you know me...
I still have hope....
that one day....
maybe even pretty soon...
I'll take a chance again,
in the horrible face of expectation,
and maybe it'll even be worth it.

Boggled

Dear Felicity,
it's funny,
your crisis with Noel is how John and I got together.
We met at a garage.
I was getting my car smog checked,
and he was getting some part for his motorcycle.
We became friends.
And a few months later,
we were at dinner at a restaurant,
and to my complete shock,
John leaned across the table and kissed me.
I'm just saying, you know,
can't know, who that person is,
the person who will become your ultimate confidant,
your soulmate,
or your lover.
He maybe that guy you had your eye on for years,
or he might be that guy standing next to you
in torn jeans
buying some part of his motorcycle.
Whoever it is,
he starts off as a stranger,
so....could be anyone.
Since John, I think about that quite a bit.

Drawing the Line Part 2

Dear Felicity,
It's amazing how we blame ourselves,
you know when John died I was a reak.
Certain that somehow cosmically
I'd caused that accident.
It's probably just human nature
to try to make sense of things.
Random things.
I think the scariest part is
realizing that sometimes
bad things just happen,
no reason, no purpose, they just occur.
And we're left to pick up
the pieces.
I guess that's what we're all doing,
all the time, just picking up the
pieces the best we can.

Gimme an O

Dear Felicity,
I can't stop thinking about your
last tape and how you must be
feeling. All that anticipation and
uncertainty all that wondering what it's
going to be like.
My first time, I was a freshman
at Brown. I met this guy at a party.
I'm not sorry about that night,
it's just I now know something I didn't
know then; that our best decisions, the ones
that we never regret, come from listening
to ourselves, which is exactly what
you've done and why no matter what you
decide you should feel very proud.

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