Back to Alternative Life StylesA: What do you mean?
J (the music has stopped): I’m not rich or popular or talented, or any of that. (smiles sheepishly) I’m pretty boring, actually. (he opens his mouth to say something, but she cuts him off) And I know now that none of that matters to you, but I didn’t back then. ‘Cause it matters here. (pauses) The town charity case, the girl from the wrong side of the creek, however you want to put it, that’s how all but a few people see me. I’m nothing to this town, Anderson, but I wanted, if even for a day, to be something to you.
[She is looking down at the ground, and he reaches over and tilts her chin up with his hand]
A (softly): Hey. (she looks at him) You *are* something to me. (smiles) Always will be.
[She smiles back, and her leans in to kiss her. She stops him just before their lips meet]
J: Uh, Anderson-
A (pulling back a little): Lemme guess. Boyfriend?
J (looking disappointed): Yeah.
A (looks disappointed as well, but tries to lighten the mood): You hungry?
J: Uh . . .
A (taking her hand): C’mon, let’s get something to eat.
[They stand up, and he starts to lead her to other room, when he looks at her hand. He sees Dawson’s Christmas present.]
A (motioning to her ring): That a present from him?
J: Yeah . . .
A: He treats you well, I take it?
J: Yeah. (pauses) *Most* of the time.
A: Well, he better shape up a little, or I might have to do something about it.
(Joey smiles, blushing) You deserve nothing short of perfection.
[She smiles and blushes again. “Least Complicated” by the Indigo Girls starts playing. They walk into the other room, and shut the door, but the camera doesn’t move up with them. It focuses on the door for a few seconds before the scene cuts to Jen, sitting at the docks by her house. The wind is blowing slightly, as the clouds roll by. After a few seconds, the scene cuts to Pacey, walking along the waterfront with his hands in his pockets. He sighs and walks slowly before finally coming to a stop and sitting down, watching the sunset. Soon, the scene cuts to Dawson, jogging down by the pier. Just as he did in the season finale, he screams out Joey’s name in frustration. He stops and stands still running his hands through his hair, and turning around slowly a full 360 degrees, until he’s back in the position he started in. The music, which has continued throughout this montage of scenes, fades slowly as the scene cuts back to Jen, who is sitting at the kitchen table, holding a phone to her ear.]
JEN: Yeah, uh, listen, do you think I can make an appointment for my friend at the same time? (waits) A half-hour later? (sighs) Yeah, that’s fine. (silence) Joey- uh, Josephine Potter. And that’s Monday, right? (more silence) Okay, thank you very much.
[She glances out her window, and we see that it is near dark. She does a double take and sees Joey walking up Dawson’s lawn. Jen rushes to the door, and opens it]
JEN: Joey!
[Joey turns in the direction of the voice, and jogs over to Jen’s porch. Jen steps outside, crossing her arms to keep herself warm]
JOEY (innocently): What’s up?
JEN: Did Dawson find you?
JOEY: No, I- (smiles to herself) I haven’t been around.
JEN: Well, you better get over there now, then. He’s been looking for you all day. Whatever fight you guys got in, it really affected him. He came over here, spuing out his usual rhetorical regurgitations. It took a lot to make him shut up. But, I think you’ll find I put things in perspective for him.
JOEY (smiles, nodding): He probably needed it.
JEN (smiling, as Joey turns to leave) Oh, Joey! (she turns back around) I made doctor appointments for us.
JOEY: What?
JEN: Yeah, mine is three o’ clock Monday, yours is three-thirty.
JOEY(a little surprised): Oh. Okay . . . Uh, I guess I’ll see ya later.
[She turns and jogs over to Dawson’s]
JEN (softly to herself): You’re welcome.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
[OPEN: Dawson, lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The TV is not on. “How Do I Live” by LeAnn Rimes is playing softly. We hear a noise, but Dawson doesn’t move. Joey climbs in the window. He still doesn’t look up]
JOEY (taking a seat on the bed): Word is, you’re looking for me.
DAWSON (still looking up): Yeah, *was* is the key word. I was close to calling a search party, but then I just decided to give up. So where were you, anyway. (she opens her mouth to answer, but he cuts her off) You know what? Forget it. I don’t want to know. (his voice contains a hint of sarcasm) Far be it for me to deny you of some spectacular hiding place. (he sits up and looks at her) My closet lost it’s appeal, huh?
J: Something like that.
D: Jo, can I be bluntly honest with you for a moment?
J: Aren’t you always?
D (as the music fades away): Honest, yes, but I sort of have this habit of waltzing around extraordinarily colossal words without really saying what I truly mean.
J (smiles): Yeah, I know. (pauses) You also have an annoying fixation on building things up too much. Now you’ve got me anxious, wondering what this blunt honesty kick is all about.
D: I’m anxious, too, Jo, because I know what I need to do in order *not* to hurt you, but I can’t do it. I can’t lie to you. (her face fills with confusion) I love you, Joey. You know I do. But, as impertinent as it sounds, I think I may love myself more. I value the abutting perfection that is my life, and in some weird, twisted way, I crave my quick descending innocence, to the point that I don’t know if I can give it up. I don’t want to hurt you, Joey, and I’ll try my hardest to stick by you, but it will be extremely hard for me, because we’re not just talking about growing up anymore, we’re talking about *being* grown up. That’s something I hadn’t intended on happening for at least another five or ten years. And I know it would be absurd to talk you into having an abortion, because the decision is entirely yours, but you have to agree that raising a child while attempting to attend high school is an equally, if not more preposterous idea. And I’m not that strong, Joey. I’d try to handle it, but I can’t promise I’d be able to stay with you.
[Joey takes all this in, her face full of hurt, but quickly changing into anger]
J: I think I would have rather heard the lies, Dawson.
[She gets up to leave]
D: Joey, wait! That’s it? Don’t you have an opinion about this?
J (crossing her arms, laughing bitterly): Do *I* have an opinion? What kind of ludicrous question is that?! (throws her arms up in frustration) Of *course* I have an opinion! The question is, Dawson, are you old enough to hear it? (he looks stung by this one, as she calms a bit) *If* I were pregnant, I would never kill my own child. I don’t think it’s fair to deny the right to anyone else, but *I* would never have an abortion. You *know* that. I’ve been dead set against it for years. Sneaky, how you asked me to have one without really having to ask. There you go again, trying to plan things out before it’s essential. You don’t even know if I’m pregnant! (pauses) I’ll tell you something, though, Dawson. *If* I were pregnant, I would raise that child with or without you, so don’t think the threat of losing you would change my mind. (pauses) You’ll notice how I keep using the term ‘*if* I were . . .”
D (jumping up from the bed, wide smile): You’re not?
J: Nope. My little friend visited me this evening. As far as my so-called pregnancy goes, you can chalk it up to a minor stomach flu, paired with a *really* bad case of PMS.
D: Joey, this is so great! I mean, it’s awful that we had to go through this-
J (interrupting, playing with the ring on her finger): See, that’s where you’re wrong, Dawson. In two areas, actually. *We* didn’t go through anything. You clearly decided that you weren’t going to deal with this. Second, this wasn’t such an awful thing to go through, because it helped me realize something. This was sort of my personal little shove into reality. You’ve been my best friend for over ten years. I had you up on a pedestal so high that the fall would kill you. (they both smile slightly) Break some bones at least. And I’ve been in love with you for so long that I couldn’t ever see you doing wrong. I was blind to all your faults. But you have no idea how much what you said a few minutes ago hurt me. (she holds out the ring he gave her, and he reluctantly takes it, confused) And maybe I’m just using a defense mechanism here by getting angry with you, but I have the right to, because you *promised* you’d always be here for me, but as soon as it looked like you might actually *have* to be, you ran away, because you can’t get over your own juvenile hang-ups.
D: Joey, I’m sorry. I can’t help it, though, it’s just the way I am.
J: I know, Dawson. And maybe, when I first fell in love with you, it was alright. But since then, you haven’t changed one bit. Which is okay, except that I realized these last few days that *I* have. And now, I’m just trying to figure out, despite my newly unearthed metamorphosis, if I- (sighs) If I’m still the kind of person who is in love with someone like you.
D (looking very worried and disturbed): So, what? Jo, what are you saying? You want to end this?
J: I think- I think so, Dawson. But not forever, just for *now.* Today was quite eye-opening for me, and I just- I think we *both* need time to ourselves for some good old-fashioned overanalyzing.
[She walks towards the window]
D(frantically): Jo, wait! (she turns around) You can’t- you have to stay. It’s, it’s Movie Night. You’ve never missed one before.
J (crooked smile): Sorry, Dawson, as of now, all aspects of our relationship are on hiatus, our friendship included. That even alludes to Movie Night.
[“How Do I Live” starts again as Joey climbs out the window. Dawson rushes over to it, and watches her go down the ladder and across the lawn to the docks. She climbs in, and starts to row away. The camera cuts from the small distant figure of her that Dawson can see from his window to a close-up of her in her tiny rowboat. The moon shines down on her, and tears stream down her illuminated face now that she is a safe distance from Dawson’s view. She continues to row away furiously into the night, as the scene fades to black. The music follows soon after]
[END CREDITS, COMMERCIAL BREAK]
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