Usual disclaimer....
Tom and Chakotay try and get answers from the doc....
In sickbay, Tom was perched on biobed looking slightly better. The doc had given him a mild tranqualizer to let his system relax and he was now sat observing the Commander and the doc talking in the doc’s office. He wasn’t sure what to think. He didn’t know what had just happened to him, any more than Chakotay. He hadn’t been expecting to find anything let alone what he had experienced. Not that he understood what he *had* experienced. All he could remember was images and feelings, and he didn’t want to keep thinking about those.
Closing his eyes he tried to stem the flow that threatened to come back. He wanted to keep the nice warm feeling the Doc’s tranquilizer had given him. It was nice, the first time in while his body had felt so relaxed. *Better not get used to that again, Tommy*.
He observed the muted discussion from his vantage point with interest. He wanted to know what the Doc and Chakotay were saying, and he wanted to know what Chakotay was thinking. Would Chakotay want to keep going with his ‘treatment’ now this had happened? He hadn’t been too sure about the sessions when the Doc had suggested them. But he had kinda got used to the idea, not least the feeling that had come over him once he had been in Chakotays quarters. As much as the idea of continuing this delve into his unconscious or subconscious or whatever, wasn’t all that appealing - he’d rather leave whatever was there...well....there - the idea of spending more time with Chakotay was, well, just as appealing for some strange reason. One that Tom was rather puzzled and not a little bit nervous about.
Over the last few months Tom had been aware of a change in his feelings towards the stoic Commander. Well maybe a change of his perception at least, or something, he wasn’t too sure. Ever since that night of Harry’s birthday party, the feelings had been getting stronger, he’d been getting more aware of them. He’d always acknowledged a certain, tension or animosity between them, born of different characters and personalities. Or so he had thought. Over the last few years he had spend more time in the man’s comany, whether he liked it or not, and had been forced to see more of him than he had ever known.
Chakotay wasn’t that different from himself, oh there *were* many differences, a list as long as you arm could be made, but underneath he had begun to see more of the ‘man’ rather than the ‘Captain’ or the ‘Commander’ than was portrayed. Like himself the Commander hid to a certain amount behind a face, behind a mask. It was just in his case it was the mask of rank, rather than one of personality, although Tom had a suspicion that there was some camouflaging going on there too. He was too much of a professional in that area not to recognise the potential symptons.
His feelings, or growing feelings towards the man worried him. He wasn’t sure he was ready to cope with anything like that yet. He’d always sworn that it would never happen again. His time in prison was enough. Those long months had been enough to last him a lifetime, and more. But now, he was confused. He knew what these feelings were, he wasn’t naive, he just wasn’t sure he could go there, even if the feelings he were having were his own, something he himself was generating. Oh, why did things have to be so complicated?
His thoughts were cut off by the return of the Doc and the Commander. He watched the expression on both their faces carefully to see if he could read anything. Not knowing what either of them was going to say, and not knowing whether he would like it.
Chakotay noticed the scruntiny he and the Doc was getting from Tom as he walked out of the office. He’d noticed that they had been watched all thought out their conversation too and knew Tom was anxious. He couldn’t blame him really. Quite a bit had happened and there was no answers or explanations coming forth from either he or the Doc. The trouble was they had no answers. Chakotay could offer no explanation as to why Tom had had the reaction to the spirit walk that he had, and the Doc could offer no medical explanation for the readings he’d taken from Tom, just the expected high amount of andrenaline induced from the state of shock.
As hge approached the biobed he saw Tom’s eyes flicker from him to the doc and back to him again. “So, whats the verdict? Am I crazy, possessed by aliens, having a mental breakdown?” There was humor in his voice, but Chakotay saw the seriousness in his eyes which never blinked.
“Well, Mr Paris. It seems you have defied the traditions of yet another culture.” The doc was smiling in a warm way and Tom knew he was only ribbing him. He relaxed slightly. The doc had always relaxed Tom for some reason, he appreciated his direct attitude and down to earth personality. Hearing it grounded him in some peculiar way that Tom liked. “Commander Chakotay is at a loss to explain you reaction and I myself can at this time find no obvious explanation for you either I’m afraid.”
“Great,” Tom sighed. “So I am going crazy then.”
“Well that is a debatable point.”
Tom stared at the Doc and saw the gleam in his eye. Shooting him a death ray glare Tom laughed softly under his breath.
“But we do need to find out what caused such a reaction, I don’t have to tell you its not a normal one.” The doc moved away to a console and began tapping. “I’d like to run a couple more tests, but I believe that the Commander offered you two paths to finding the answeres to your recent problems.”
“Yeah, umm, hypnosis.”
“Would you be willing to give that method a go?”
Tom looked uneasy. Okay, he had two choices, one he could either say yes and see what was lurking in his brain and going by what he had been given a peek at, he wasn’t in all that much of a hurry. *Or* he say no and carry on the way he was. That would prevent any more episodes like the one he had just had and keep everything that didn’t belong out on the open nice and tucked away where it belonged. On the other hand the look that the doc was wearing didn’t bode well for the latter option being very viable, despite being given a choice.
“I suppose I don’t really have much choice do I?”
He glanced at Chakotay who was standing to the side. The Commander’s expression was concerned, his brown eyes looked at Tom and all of a sudden Tom felt himself slide away. It was like the whole room suddenly shifted and rotated on its axis. Feeling himself sway dangerously close to the edge of the biobed Tom grabbed for the side quickly. He closed his eyes under the sudden feeling of nausea and swallowed heavily a few times.
The doc had observed Tom’s actions and reacted just as quick. He reached for a tricorder and scanned immediately while offering a steadying hand on Tom’s shoulder.
“Hey!!” Tom finched immediately from the Doc’s touch and jerked away. The doc looked startled, but said nothing and went back to reading his tricorder.
“Interesting,” he muttered quietly whilst walking away to a console. Chakotay had also been close to offering a steadying hand to Tom when he saw him waver but at Tom’s reaction had drawn his hand back quickly.
Tom just sat there trying to get his bearings. He looked up when the doc uttered a few non-descript mumurings. “Doc?”
The doctor came back over. “I take it you just had a ‘dizzy spell’?” At Tom’s nod he continued. “Well I took some readings and noticed a few unusual irregularities in your brain during that time. Now, on their own these aren’t something would cause me great concern but with what you’ve experienced I think we have to look at everything here.” He paused and looked at both Tom and Chakotay. “We should go ahead with the hynosis, at this point its the best option we have.”
Tom just grimaced. “Now I know Chakotay knows about hypnosis but have you any practical experience of it?” The doc continued.
Chakotay shook his head. “I know the basics but I’ve never actually tried anything.” At this the doc nodded.
“I’d like you to get some rest,” he gestured towards Tom. “And I speak to the Captain about trying it tomorrow.”
“Is it alright if I go back to my quarters?” Tom looked hopefully at the doc, putting on his best smile, despite how tired he felt.
“Well I’d prefer if you were somewhere where I could keep an eyes on you, just incase you have any more ‘dizzy spells’. At this point this could be nothing, but on this ship, nothing keeps turning out to be everything.” The doc lifted his eyebrows at this statement and Chakotay allowed himself a small smile. The doc was right, it was a habit that was growing more and more common, things and situations that looked completely benine had the habit of turning face and becoming a nightmare.
“What about if I offer to stay with Tom? Keep an eye on him, I’ll let you know if anything else occurs.” Chakotay offered. Tom turned to look at the Commander puzzlement and a little surprise on his face.
“Well that should be alright. I’ll comm you to let you know about when to come back in. Until then I suugest you get some rest Lieutenant.”
Tom got off the biobed slowly, not trusting his balance quite yet. Once stood up he looked at Chakotay. “Shall we?” He inidicated towards the door.
It didn’t take long to get back to Tom’s quarters and once inside Tom headed straight to the replicator. He walked back over to the couch and flopped down. Chakotay eyed the clear brown liquid in Tom’s glass with slight susicion, until Tom caught his stare and cocking his head to one side, frowned slightly.
“Tea, Chakotay, want one?”
Chakotay caught the tone in Tom’s voice and lowered his head before heading over and requesting a cold fruit drink. Tom took a long swallow of his rapidly cooling tea and stared out of the viewport. He heard Chakotay come up behind him and the couch dip slightly as he sat down.
“So, you want the couch tonight?” Tom’s tone was light but he didn’t turn around.
“If thats okay with you.”
“I’ll get some pillows and blankets out cause its not all that comfy after a while, and I know that from experience.” He heard Tom snort softly as he got up and walked over to a cupboard. After a moment two pillows and a folded blanket whumped onto the floor next to him.
“Thanks.” Chakotay took a drink from his glass before sighing and draining the lot in one go. Placing the glass carefully on the table he looked up to find Tom staring at him, a thoughtful expression on his face. As soon as Tom realised that he was looking he averted his eyes and walked through the door to the bedroom. A voice drifted out.
“Goodnight Commander.” A slight pause, then in a quieter voice, “Sweet dreams.”
Chakotay stared at the doorway. Grabbing his blankets he made himself as comfy as he could. Starfleet couchs were not really designed with sleeping first officers in mind but in the end he’d snuggled up quite successfully. He lay there pondering for quite a while about the young man lay in the next room before sleep eventually overtook him and he fell asleep.
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