dreamt by Elizabeth
Then there's a strange and really, really loooooooong dream where the world ends, and the only survivors are me, the ducks, Mike Nelson (from MST3K) and my friend Steve. We don't know why the world ended, so Steve says, "Well, let's ask Doctor Science. He knows more than we do!" So we go to Doctor Science and he holds up two charts to us and says, "Here's a chart of a human, with the brain outlined. And here's a chart of a penguin, with the brain outlined. The point is, if you enlarge the penguin so it's the same size as the human, its brain is still smaller. Therefore, Will Smith ended the world!" So we all go to the mountain on the other side of the continent to find Will Smith, and somewhere along the way Duke discovers he has a telepathic link with all the pinto beans of the world, which proves useful later on. Then there's something about Sylvester Stalone, but I don't remember. We get to the mountain (and pretty quickly for it being the other side of the continent), and Tanya stops and suddenly announces she's a lesbian, and there's the expected gasp and all that. Mike Nelson says, "Really?" and she says, "Naw, not really." I never quite figure out the point to her little statement, but it doesn't matter, cos now there's a monkey named Cobbnett standing guard, and he asks us riddles to keep us out. But they're really lame riddles, like "What does pork taste like?" and then he's really frustrated that we got them right, but he lets us in anyway, and we hafta wade through this river of pinto beans, which of course really like Duke, him having a telepathic link with them and all, and he's getting them to haul up and slap Mallory on the behind and stuff. She turns around and belts Nosedive, who happens to be the guy behind her, and his arm spins around four times in its socket and then falls off. I manage to tie it back on with one of my shoelaces, but I tell him he should really see a doctor when this is over. So then we get to this main chamber in the middle of the mountain, and there are three coffins. We open up the first one, and it's Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, looking like a vampire. He tells us we're all fired and closes the coffin. The second one has that kid from Pokemon, and he scares Grin with his huge eyes and long legs, so Grin closes the coffin. The third one, of course, has Will Smith in it, only he's like nine feet tall with horns and hooves and a tail, and he attacks us with his minions of three headed iguanas, but Wildwing and Steve have this bucket of Mood Slime with them somehow, and they douse the iguanas and they get too happy to attack. Then Will Smith comes after us himself, and as we're running Duke remembers his link with the beans we're running through, and he has them swallow up Will Smith and chew his face off or something. I told Mallory I didn't know pinto beans could eat faces, and she smiles and turns into a Jeep Wrangler that we all ride to safety. Then suddenly we're all in this beach party type setting and we all do the twist until Nosedive's arm falls off again. The iguanas and the Mood Slime join us, and have a great time, but inadvertently eat Steve's shoes. Steve doesn't mind.