dreamt by Elizabeth
~ Another loooong one I had the other night. I was drunk when I went to bed (but don't tell my folks that), so that might explain the strangeness factor. ~
I was going to the kitchen for some Lucky Charms when I stepped into a dimensional gateway and the ducks decided I was with the Saurians so they sucked out one of my kidneys. But when they found out I was a fan of theirs they took some pictures of me and gave back my kidney (wrapped up all nice like a present) and said I was a real good sport about the whole thing, and that they would help me get back to my world. Suddenly my evil twin (?) bursts in and forces us all to make models of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles at gunpoint, and then my denim jacket (my favorite one) starts talking to Nosedive and says that if he frees it it'll grant him wishes, and he figures wishes are cool, so he does it, and somewhere in there the twin goes away and the jacket turns into the monkey, Marcelle, from "Friends" and tells Dive where he can get lots of monkeys for free.
(This next part probably came from a joke I'd heard that day about monkeys.) We all go get the monkeys, something like 400 of them, and we take them back to the Pond, but as soon as they get there they start peeing on everything and Wildwing start shooting blue flame and says he's leaving and me, Dive and Duke better get rid of all these monkeys, and as soon as he's gone the monkeys all die. Duke suggests we flush them down the toilet but the first two get stuck, so I try setting fire to the rest of them but the fire almost gets out of control and burns down the Pond, so Dive tries mailing them to somebody else, but while he's stuffing them in the envelopes their heads come off. So now we've got two dead, wet monkeys, 398 dead, charred monkeys, about five dead, charred, decapitated monkeys, and one live, stupid monkey named Marcelle. Marcelle takes out a pair of prosthetic lips and kills me, and I go up to heaven but St. Peter stops me and says heaven has a new dress code and no way are they letting me in wearing *that*, even if I am willing to have the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity, but they send me back down to the Ducks and the dead monkeys. Then Nosedive remembers he's got wishes coming to him, so he wishes for the Batmobile. Then when Wildwing comes home and sees all the mess and goes ballistic, Dive wishes for all the monkeys to go away. He uses his last wish to send me back home, so now I finally get to eat my Lucky Charms but there's these little black flecks in them, and I'm wondering if that little Irish guy added another marshmallow without telling anybody, which was really sneaky of him if he did, and then the disembodied head of Phil Pomfeather floats in and gives me some Velcro.
Then there's another part where we're all bowling in a closet, but I don't remember much of it exept that Mallory drops a bowling ball on her foot and these little bald weasles come pouring out of it. Ah, out of the ball, not out of her foot.
There you have it! Scary, no? At least Dive is only
*one* person in my dreams...
Yeah, but what about the monkey/Marcelle? Hmmm?!?!!? ;P ~Kar