dreamt by Elizabeth
So, me and Tanya and Duke and Duncan (who is Crow's "What If" character, and the first fanfic character I've ever dreamed about) were sitting near the tollbooths at the Golden Gate Bridge, when this huge stampede of pandas come crashing across the bridge and terrorizing the populace. The king panda is really Eddie Murphy in a panda suit, and he keeps saying, "But peanut pants!" and commanding the pandas. Then Duncan yanks off his panda head (ah, that is, Eddie Murphy's panda head, though I suppose Duncan could have had one somewhere too) and the pandas, realizing their mistake, hail Duncan as their new messiah. My brother makes a brief cameo, but doesn't really do anything important instead of hack up a bunch of lilac bushes. Duke, who for some reason now DESPISES pandas, leads the panda resistence and wears this kind of Han Solo-ish vest. He strikes a lot of dramatic poses and plots a lot of raids on Blockbuster and cackles a lot.
Back at the panda headquarters (which is where I am, since that's where all the cool stuff is goin' down) Duncan sings the new panda anthem in a strange British accent. It's something to this effect:
After dark the pandas stalk,
Nightmare teddies something something
Ravenous claws that glow in the dark
Eating bums that sleep in the park.
Something about evil hearts
Enshrouded in the mystery of their black and white coats.
What manner of camouflage is this, black and white?
To hide in an Oreo factory? Could be!
Like the shark the panda has millions of teeth
Which it uses to cut through bone, something and fences.
Australians believe that if you find a panda tooth you have
the power to summon Osiris.
Just another chapter in the omnisaga of the panda.
Another line I don't remember.
I'm drunk on panda mystery.
Then the midi from my page starts playing, and Duncan and all the pandas sing along with it:
The pandas are coming
Something about the rampage of the dead!
They'll hide under your bed!
And they'll rip your @$$ to shreds!