Chapter 4-Memories and Declarations

Jax was still laying against Brenda, relishing the faint sounds of her heartbeat and breath. "Do you know where I wish we were right now? Where I wish I could take you?" She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, and sighed. "No. Where?" "Malibu. The Isabella. The Cottage. Anywhere, but here." Brenda shifted beneath him, turning so that she could look in his eyes. "Why, honey?" "Those are all such special places, Brenda. Magical places; this is just…." Brenda smiled, and moved again, so that she was lying on top of Jax. "Just where we first met? Just where we made a deal that changed both of our lives forever? Just where you proposed to me: the first, second, third, and fourth time? Just where you carried me over the threshold, when we came home from our wedding? Just where we lived as man and wife? Just where I always come to be loved, feel safe, and to be with you? This place is special, Jax. It always has been." "It always will be: it's where you returned to me, my angel, my love, my wife…"

Some day, when I'm awfully low,

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you...

And the way you look tonight.

"Do you know what I'm thinking about?" They laughed, and Jax looked at her, studying her face carefully. He searched her brown eyes for a clue, and saw joy, but a hint of sadness. "How a pair like us, could have had 6 marriage proposals, two weddings, two more underway, and still not be married?" The tried to laugh it off, but they both knew the truth: they wanted to be married more than anything. Brenda wanted Jax as her husband, and Jax wanted Brenda to be his wife.

Oh, but, you're lovely,

with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft,

"You're partially right. Actually, Wait. Six proposals? Six? Were there really that many?" "You're right. There were seven: in the hallway outside the Penthouse when I was leaving…" "There were eight, Jax." "Eight?" "Eight--Outside the Penthouse, the morning after we first made love, when you gave me the ultimatum; when we came home from Alaska, and you gave me your mother's engagement ring; when I came home from modeling and thought I lost my ring, and you had it sized for me, which was when we started planning the BIG splashy wedding…" Brenda's eyes danced at the memory, while Jax knew he'd never forget that day: when she had made a simple, yet life-altering declaration to him.

There is nothing for me but to love you,

Just the way you look tonight.

"I didn't want to tell you this in front of a room full of people. I love you." Brenda took a deep breath, her eyes pleading with him to continue the fairy tale. "That's what you were banging on my door about? To tell me that you loved me?"

With each word your tenderness grows,

Tearing my fear apart...

The tears began to well up in Jax's eyes, as he prepared himself for what he knew was coming; the words he had played over and over again in his head for 4 days. And he needed to hear it again; he needed to hear it from her. He needed to hear her say…"Yes. I love you, Jax." Tears streamed down their faces, as they finally said what needed to be said. "I love you so much I feel dizzy. I can't see straight, I can't think straight, I don’t even know when this happened. All I know is that I want to marry you again right away." Jax wiped tears from Brenda's face, and planted kisses where they had been. "Thank goodness for small mercies."

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,

It touches my foolish heart.

Brenda took Jax's face in her hands and kissed him: softly, tenderly, with all of her heart and soul. "I wanna live with you forever, and have a family with you and do everything and nothing together. I even want to get old and lumpy with you."

Lovely ...

Never, ever change.

Keep that breathless charm.

Jax pulled his wife into his embrace, needing to feel her in his arms: her heartbeat on his skin, her hair against his chest, her breath against his neck. " There's a picture." Sobbing hysterically, Brenda looked up at him, her eyes full of pain and sorrow, but mostly filled with love. "I don’t even feel this way because it’s the smart thing to do anymore, or ever because I like you. I'm crazy, head-over-heels in old fashioned love with you…"

Won't you please arrange it ?

'Cause I love you ...

Jax wiped the final tears from Brenda's cheeks, and kissed her again. Trying to compose herself, she smiled and continued. "Where was I? Oh, yeah, You proposed again after…everything, but I didn't take the new ring you gave me. The next time, was when I proposed to you, and gave you the same ultimatum that you gave me: marry me now, or lose me forever."

Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,

Just the way you look to-night.

"I wish I had…married you then, because now…I've lost you forever." Brenda curled back up in his arms. "You haven't lost me, Jax. I'm here now. I always will be…And then you proposed to me, in Malibu, on the beach. And then on the Isabella, when you gave me my engagement ring. The Isabella was magical, Jax. So was Malibu. So is this place. So are you, Jax." "So are you. So are we."


(Song Credits, "The Way you Look Tonight" by, Frank Sinatra)