It took her all night to acknowledge that she had but one course open to her. She knew what she must do, but that was harder said than done. Her insides were screaming for help and she felt helpless – completely helpless.

If she'd failed to convince Jax that JJ wasn't his son, then she had to compromise with him. And that was her only option because she saw that look of recognition in his eyes… He knew that JJ was his son. And if he decided to fight her for custody, she didn't stand a chance.

She had lied to him, and American courts were bending over backward these days to be fair to fathers and protect their rights. Furthermore, he had wealth and power behind him, and what did she have, besides an insupportable lie? She was a single, working mother. Although she'd always put her son first, she was raising him in a tiny and isolated town, while his father could offer him the world.

Brenda walked to her room, but not before stopping once more to look at her son, sleeping so soundly. Fighting back tears, she sat on her bed and curled her feet underneath her petite frame. She rocked back and forth slowly, almost in a daze. Her secret was out; Jax knew. His words kept coming back to her, "His future is mine…"

"His future is mine." What did he mean by that? Would he try and take JJ from her? Just the mere thought of that almost caused her physical pain. She could deal with anything, but no one should ask her to live a life without her child – no one - not even the father of her child, Jasper Jacks.

Leaning back against her mahogany headboard, she took a picture of JJ from her bedside, tracing it lovingly. "My dear, sweet boy," she said softly, her voice thick with emotion. It was the picture of JJ taken when he was just a few hours old. He looked so innocent; her own precious bundle of joy. She held the picture close to her heart... and that is how she finally fell asleep.

She arose exhausted the next morning. JJ took one look at her and frowned. "What's wrong, Mama? You don't look so good!"

"No, no I'm fine. But we'll have to hurry or we'll be late."

"Are you mad at me about something?" He looked at her, his blue eyes filled with worry, and that just tore at her heart.

She dropped to her knees and drew him into her arms, breathing in the little-boy scent and savoring the wiriness of the little-boy body. "Oh, sweetie, no, I'm not mad at you at all! Mommy loves her little boy, and don't you forget it!"

He kissed her cheek, and she felt the smile on his lips. "I love you, too," he said. "Will your boss come see me again someday? I like him a lot."

The muscles of her stomach contracted painfully. "I ...don't know. He's a very busy man… very important."

"Oh." JJ looked disappointed. "He said he would, but sometimes grown-ups fib to kids."

She didn't think this one had - much to her grief. Jax had meant every word he'd said to his son. But she diverted the conversation away from Jax and finally managed to get both herself and her child ready to face the day.

********************

"Mr. Jacks said to send you to his office the minute you arrive," his secretary said in a hushed whisper. "My goodness, Brenda. He looks like death warmed over – and come to think of it, you do, too. What in the world is going –-?"

Brenda didn't wait for the rest of a question she couldn't answer. As her brother Jared always said, the best defense was a good offense.

She'd face Mr. Jasper Jacks; she'd defy Mr. Jasper Jacks. And if that didn't work she'd bargain with him. But under no circumstances would she let him take her son away from her.

********************

He looked tired, but also controlled; no raw edges of messy emotion showing anywhere. He'd tossed and turned in an effort to sleep last night and ended up getting very little. Things got so bad that he'd contemplated calling Brenda just to hear her voice, but this time he wasn't sure what effect it would have on him.

Brenda took a deep breath before opening his door. She knew she must look like a stick of dynamite with a burning fuse. At least, that's how she felt, walking into the lion's den. But if she had a prayer of winning, she had to match his self-control. This was not the time to lose her head.

So she regarded him coolly, her chin in the air. "You wish to see me? she murmured.

"That's right." He gestured to a leather-upholstered chair. "Please sit down."

"I prefer to stand."

He shrugged and tossed his pen on the desk blotter. "Suit yourself. But for what I have to say, you should be sitting."

Her blood ran cold. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That I've decided on the best course of action." He sounded so detached and business-like. But what she didn't know was how he'd wrestled with this decision all night long. He was worried about what her reaction might be and what she would say once she'd heard him out. But he had his own personal reasons for doing this; one he wasn't fully ready to admit to himself just yet.

Brenda didn't notice how closely Jax was watching her, anticipating her reaction.

All the oxygen seemed sucked from the room by his statement. She bit her trembling lip. He was going to try for custody -- she just knew it. She forced herself to say coolly, "And that is…?"

A slight smile curved his well-shaped mouth, but his eyes revealed no humor. "It's very simple, actually." He built a steeple with his fingertips. "I'm going to marry you, Brenda Barrett."

*********************

He knew that announcement would take the wind out of her sails, and it did. She sat down hard in the chair she'd refused moments earlier. What little color there had been in her cheeks washed away, leaving her pale and somehow distraught, although she didn't utter a sound.

He had never known a woman more beautiful than Brenda Barrett, and she was more beautiful at this moment than she had ever been – and more vulnerable. She was fighting for her life, for her child.

Well, so was he. There was nothing she could say that would convince him that the boy he'd met only a few hours ago wasn't his own flesh-and-blood. Nothing would sway him from his course. He didn't want to punish her for keeping his child away from him, though admittedly, he was angry. But he would fight her to be in his son's life, and no one would keep him away from his child – not even the mother of his child, Brenda Barrett.

*********************

"That's insane! I'd never marry you!" It had taken her a few moments for his announcement to fully register, but now that it had, she had overcome her shock and gone on the offensive.

"Ah, Brenda, Brenda…" He shook his head, a smile nudging his mouth. "There was a time when you claimed you wanted nothing more than to spend your life with me."

"I was young then -- and foolish."

"We were both foolish. But now we're older and presumably wiser. You must see that I intend to have my son."

Brenda was shaking her head before he even finished. "But why this way? Marriage? That's crazy!"

"It's more expeditious than a custody battle."

She recoiled. "He's not your son, Jax!"

"Give it up, Brenda!" He half-rose from the desk chair, his blue eyes lit with fury. "JJ is my son, and you and I both know it! Your constant denials aren't going to get us anywhere!"

"It's your word against mine. You can't prove —"

"Blood tests."

"B-blood —?"

"Blood tests can prove paternity. I'd hate to put him through that, but if you insist—"

She recoiled back in her chair; her eyelids closing out the sight of him, so confident and self-righteous. Well, how could she blame him? She'd played an awful trick on him... but only because he married someone else, she reminded herself. "I'll never marry a man who doesn't love me," she whispered, the words like arrows to her heart. How could she marry the man of her dreams, knowing full well he didn't love her?

"Not even if that man is the father of your child and loves that child every bit as much as you do? Not even if that man puts the welfare of that child above anything and everything on earth?"

She felt faint, beleaguered by his measured arguments. "But a marriage in name only? He'd know –he'd sense that things weren't right between us."

The slow unveiling of his smile revealed an infinite capacity to hurt her. "Who says it would be in name only?" he stated rather bluntly. "If there is going to be a marriage between us, it would be a real one, with nothing held back – nothing. I want to make that very clear right from the beginning. I'm talking about a lifetime, Brenda. Make no mistake about that. 'Til death do us part..."

She bit back a groan. "Don't do this to me, Jax. Don't do this yourself! You'd condemn us both to a lifetime of misery, just for revenge? I never meant to hurt you –"

"Or have my child, but it happened, didn't it?" He stood up restlessly. "You had no right to keep him from me."

"Even when I knew you'd married?"

"Yes, even then!" He threw back his shoulders and confronted her. "You should have given me the chance, Brenda. I had every right to know about my child. Now you're facing the consequences."

"No, I can't." A lifetime with this bitter, vindictive man? She couldn't face that even in her worst nightmares. She didn't know what had happened to the Jasper Jacks she'd loved, but she would not – could not – share her life, her child -- and certainly not her bed -- with the man he'd become. Throwing all caution to the wind, she said her thoughts out loud, "What happened, Jax?"

"Huh?" Jax answered, clearly confused by Brenda's simple question.

But she continued, "What happened to the man I met on the Immortal? You've become so cold – shutting your feelings on and off, like a faucet. Who are you? I really don't know anymore. Or did I even know the real you?" She stood up facing him, her hands on her hips, daring him to answer her question.

Her accusations had hurt him to his very core, but he refused to let her see just how much. "I'm not the same young man that you met on that ship five years ago, Brenda. I've lost a fiancée, a wife, and a child since then."

"A fiancée?" Brenda inquired, eyebrows raised.

"You," he said without missing a beat. "Of course I've changed, but it's mostly because I'm older and I've learned from my mistakes. I've got my priorities in order. I know what I want and I go after it – and usually get it."

He looked at her, and Brenda felt like that statement was more like a warning to her than anything else.

He continued, "When there are too many emotions involved, things get tricky and people usually end up getting hurt. I'm not cold, Brenda. You, of all people, should know that, otherwise you wouldn't be so attracted to me – and don't you deny that either. But what about you, Miss Barrett? When was the last time, you went out and truly had fun – lived life to its fullest potential? Do you just live life, Brenda, or do you enjoy living it?"

What kind of a question was that? He had turned the tables on her, and she was speechless. In typical Jasper Jacks fashion, he had led the discussion away from his least favorite topic, him. "You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about!" She shook her head in disbelief.

"What?"

"Just when I think we're making any kind of leeway, you abruptly change the subject. You weren't like this on the Immortal. You were so open and honest with your feelings. Now..."

" Now...what? I answered your question to the best of my ability, Brenda. So I think it's only fair that you answer mine. Quit stalling."

"All right, I'll answer your question. I'm sure you've heard by now from the entire town that I don't go out that much. I don't, but I do go on an occasional date, every now and than. But I have JJ, and he's my first priority. I love my life just the way it is, and I wouldn't change it for anything." Well, she might change a few things, but that was her little secret.

He just stared at her and looked about to say something, but thought better of it. "All right," he said, seeming to draw back into himself.

"All right?"

He nodded. "I can't force you to marry me. Heck, I wouldn't force you. You've got to be willing, or we'll never be able to provide a proper home life for JJ, and that's what this is all about." He reached the telephone and started to dial.

"Who are you calling?" she asked, assuming she was being dismissed.

He arched one brow. "My lawyer. I'm going to talk to him about my rights to my child. And since you're not willing to listen to reason, I'll see what I can do about full custody, if it comes to... Brenda!"

She couldn't believe she'd fainted again. But Jax had just admitted to her that he was taking legal action against her for JJ. She regained her senses, lying on his leather chaise lounge; Jax seated beside her and chafing her hands.

"What happened?" she murmured.

"You passed out before I could gave you my final terms," he said, brushing a few tendrils of hair away from her face.

She caught her breath and her heart began a steady drumming. "Terms?"

"You've got twenty-four hours."

"To do what?" She was so terribly confused. She wasn't sure if he was talking about the custody fight or the marriage proposal.

"To make up your mind," he said. "JJ deserves a family, and we're going to give him one, or I'll do it alone. But in no case will things continue as they were."

She groaned and pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes. For a few minutes she lay there, feeling completely at his mercy. Then, with a superhuman effort, she sat up. "I'll never forgive you for this," she said in a ragged voice. "If I'd had any idea what kind of man you were, I'd never have let you get close to me on that accursed cruise!"

He smiled at her. "Yes, you would," he said. "Because you couldn't help yourself... anymore than you'll be able to help yourself now." Who are you kidding, Jax? How many cold showers have you taken so far?

********************

Through a long and hellish day, Brenda tried to regain her composure. After a while, she thought that if a single other person asked her what was wrong, she'd collapse into tears. She saw Jax only at a distance, yet she could feel his presence whenever they were in the same room. She didn't have to seek him out to know he was there. Unfortunately, she was still that connected to him…

Once upon a time she had wanted to marry Jasper Jacks with all her heart and soul … but that was a long time ago. He must be out of his mind, if he thought she'd let him force her into anything so drastic. She might still be the unsophisticated, little, small town girl he'd… She hesitated, knowing that the proper word wasn't 'seduced,' but unwilling to put any other name to what had happened between them.

She did have resources, if she were willing to call upon them. Her best resource was her brother, Jared, who would support her in whatever she decided to do. But just thinking about Jared's temper –about his possessiveness – scared her. The last thing she wanted was to draw her brother into this mess. Which would be the first thing that would happen, in a messy custody battle. She'd need Jared's emotional support, as well as his money. She certainly didn't have the financial means to fight the son and heir to an international empire.

What to do? At lunchtime, she managed to slip out a side door and spend the next hour wandering the streets of Port Charles, trying to avoid everyone she knew, trying to think. Think! Ever since Jasper Jacks had come to town, she'd been trying to think, and where had it gotten her?

She hadn't been back for five minutes when Lois came rushing in, baby John in his pack on her back. She looked around anxiously, spotted Brenda, and then rushed forward. "I've got to speak to you!" she hissed, looking around as if for eavesdroppers.

Brenda's heart plummeted. "Oh, my gosh, now what?"

Lois gestured toward the settee and two chairs, arranged against a wall. "Over there, where we won't be overheard."

Brenda followed with an apologetic glance at her co-worker. Sinking onto a chair, she asked, "Are you all right? Is Jared –?"

"Fine, fine, we're all fine."

"Thank heavens. Then what is it, Lois?"

"I figured it out."

"You figured what out?"

"Please don't pretend with me, Brenda," Lois spoke primly. "I know everything – about JJ and Jax."

"J –" Brenda felt a hot flush wash over her cheeks.

Lois nodded. "You met Mr. Jacks when you and I went on that cruise all those years ago, didn't you?"

"I – why you –" Brenda stopped, stumbling for words. She refused to lie to her brother's wife, who was also her dearest friend. Drawing a deep breath, she nodded miserably.

Lois sighed. "Then Jasper Jacks really is JJ's father." Her eyes widened. "Brenda, is JJ's name really Jared Jacks?"

Brenda opened her mouth to deny it but found herself unable to say the words. Dully, she nodded.

Lois leaned forward to place her hand on Brenda's. "He didn't know he had a son until he saw JJ last night, did he?"

Again, Brenda nodded, unsure why she felt so ashamed. "Nobody knew," she whispered. "Now that you do, I hope you won't… think less of me. There were… extenuating circumstances. I did what I had to do. Oh, Lois, I really thought I was doing the right thing!"

"Oh, Bren!" Lois's sympathy shone in her eyes. "I love you as if you really were my sister. Nothing will ever change that. But…" Lois bit her lip, looking suddenly evasive. "We've got another problem. I'm not the only one who's figured it out."

Brenda jumped to her feet. " Oh, my god – Jared knows? What did he say? … What does he plan to do?"

"You mean before or after he kills the S.O.B. who seduced his little sister?" Lois, too, stood up, hoisting her baby backpack to a more comfortable position. "I dropped him off at your house to wait for you to come home from work. I told him I had a few errands to run and would meet him there later, but Bren, I'm so worried!"

"How upset is he?"

"Way upset. I told him to get the whole story before going off half-cocked, but I don't think I got through to him. You know how your brother can be once he's made up his mind about something." She shook her head, giving Brenda an anxious glance, "I think we'd better get right over there, before Jared takes matters into his own hands and comes looking for you here… or for him."

Brenda didn't need to ask which 'him' Lois meant. Jared and Jax meeting before she could tell her brother the truth could only spell one thing – trouble with a capital 'T!