Brenda burst through the door of her little house, her heart pounding, while all sorts of thoughts ran through her mind as Brenda frantically drove home. She’d pictured one scenario after another as to what would happen next, and none had a pleasant outcome. How was she going to get out of this mess? Jared would never understand why she did this – Why she had kept her son away from his father for all these years. Despite the fact that Jared obviously didn’t like Jax and was under the mistaken notion that Jax was sexually harassing her, she knew that he’d still feel that she had no right to keep father and son apart.

So she was near panic as she burst through the door of her little house to find Jared, his face as dark as a thundercloud, waiting for her. She stopped short, suddenly having no idea as to how to proceed. She was prepared for many things, but the one thing that she wasn't prepared for was the cold, accusatory look in her brother’s eyes. He had never looked at her that way before, and she realized his disappointment in her for what she’d done and that realization saddened her deeply.

She licked her lips uncertainly, then took a deep breath as she took an uncertain step toward her brother. "Jared, I –"

"Hold on a minute," he said brusquely.

"Hold on –?"

"Yeah, whatever’s said now, I want *him* to hear it, too."

A feeling of dread rushed over her as Brenda realized that Jared was looking past her and through the open doorway, where Jax was walking toward her home in long, determined strides. Jared obviously wasn't the only one who wanted to talk to her tonight.

"Oh, no!" she moaned.

"Oh, yes!" Jared’s tone was flat, but filled with an anticipation that was almost scary.

Brenda clutched at her brother's elbow. "Please don’t start anything," she begged. "It isn’t what you think."

"Sweetheart, it's exactly what I think. And I should have done something about this a long time ago, instead of letting you talk me out of it!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "As your brother, it'’ my duty to protect you from guys like that. I couldn’t do it before, but I can now."

"But you don't understand!" Brenda protested. "There's nothing to protect me from. If you’ll just –"

Jax stepped through the open doorway, his glance immediately taking in the tense siblings. "There you are, Brenda," he said easily. "I wondered why you took off so fast. I hope everything's all right."

"Everything's fine," she said quickly, giving Jared an anxious glance, then looking back to Jax. "Look, you didn’t need to come up here. I'm fine… Really. So why don't you just go –"

"You knew I’d come looking for you. And I'm not going anywhere, Brenda – not ‘til I know that you’re really okay," Jax said, clearly worried. He knew something was wrong, and he wasn’t leaving until he got to the bottom of it. "Is JJ all right?"

"Of course."

Jared made an angry, almost growling sound. "No thanks to you!"

Jax tensed visibly, a hint of fire in his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means –" Jared moved Brenda carefully aside before giving Jax his full attention. "It means I know – I know everything about what happened between you and my sister. You're the bastard who seduced her when she was a kid and left her pregnant! You abandoned her –"

Dark, angry color flooded Jax’s cheeks. "That's a damned lie!" he replied angrily. "I never left Brenda."

Brenda stood there, willing herself to stay calm. What kind of mess had she gotten them all into?

"Oh, so are you denying that JJ is really your son?" Jared challenged.

"Deny it?" Jax eyes widened and looked suspiciously at Brenda. "Hell, I'm proud of it! I love that little boy."

Brenda couldn't believe this. Clinging to her brother's arm, she glanced miserably from one man to the other. "Stop this, the both of you! Jared, Jax isn't… I mean he didn't…"

But Jared ignored her, continuing to throw his incessant barrage of accusations at Jax.

"If you love your little boy so much, why did you let Brenda raise him alone all these years? Have you ever heard of child support? And didn’t you think your son would wonder where his daddy is? Who his daddy is? For that matter, why didn’t you do the right thing and marry my sister?"

Brenda cringed at that. The last thing she wanted was a marriage of convenience, and she was sure that Jax’s proposal to her had been made out of obligation. And she’d be damned if she’d marry someone who simply felt obligated toward her!

"Because I didn’t know he existed – that's why!" Jax thrust his hands through his hair in frustration, for the first time showing just how agitated he was about all of this. "For your information, Mr. Barrett, I didn't jilt her; she jilted me!"

"That's not true!"' Brenda cried. "And will the two of you stop talking about me as if I'm not in the same room?… Look, for the last time, Jax is not –"

"Brenda!" They said in unison, making her cringe at their mutual disbelief of her continued protests concerning JJ's true paternity.

Jax continued relentlessly, "As soon as I found out, I proposed to her. She told me to take a hike – though not quite so nicely."

"Is that true?" Jared asked, as he turned around to look at her. "Did he ask you to marry him?"

"Yes, but you don’t understand…" She was so agitated that she could barely speak. "He only wants to marry me to get his hands on JJ." His proposal had nothing to do with me… with us, she thought sadly.

Jax laughed. "That’s not entirely true. I want to get my hands on you, too."

If looks could kill, Jax would have been dead after that last comment. "Don't you dare think about that, until you put a ring on her finger!" Jared glared.

"And that’s never going to happen," Brenda inserted.

Jared frowned. "Why not? He wants to make an honest woman out of you. Let him."

Brenda rolled her eyes at her brother's old-fashioned way of thinking. She loved him, but sometimes Jared forgot that this was the year 2000, not 1800. She sighed, "No, Jared, I’m not marrying Jax – not today… not tomorrow… not ever!!"

"Why not?" Jax demanded.

"Yeah, Bren, why not?" Jared echoed.

"Because –" Her lip trembled violently and she paused long enough to control it before blurting out, "Oh Jax, why did you have to come here? We were happy, JJ and I. We don't need all this… this confusion!"

Jax studied her with brooding eyes; eyes she felt were once again penetrating her soul. "I don't believe you were all that happy, Brenda. I could see an underlying sadness in your eyes the moment that I saw you again… Oh, you hide it well enough from everyone else, but not from me – never from me," he said quietly. "And I know for a fact that the boy misses having a father in his life. Why would you want to deny him that right?"

Thoughtfully, Jared watched this entire exchange and knew that his little sister had finally met her match. "That's the truth," he agreed. "You’ve told me countless times that JJ needs a father figure in his life. Here’s your chance to gave him the real thing."

"How could you!" She whirled on her brother in disbelief. "You're my brother! You're supposed to be on my side!" she cried.

"I *am* on your side," Jared argued. "All I want is what’s best for you and your son – and that appears to be Mr. Jacks. Listen, the man wants to do the right thing – if a little late –" He shot Jax a condemning glance. " – But better late than never."

Jax dipped his head in acknowledgement. "I welcome your support," he said calmly.

Brenda felt like she’d just stepped into the middle of a Twilight Zone episode. She had thought of everything, but not this. "Jared…" She darted a helpless glance at Jared.

Jared understood. "Mind waiting outside while I have a word with my sister?" he asked Jax, his voice suddenly mild.

"Not at all." Jax backed toward the door. "I’ll be right outside, but I warn you, I’m not a patient man. I make things happen."

By the time Jax closed the door behind him, hot tears were burning the back of Brenda’s eyelids. "Don’t do this to me, Jared," she begged in a husky voice. Please don’t –"

"Do what – urge you to marry the man you love?" He gave her a look that another would have mistaken as pity, but Brenda knew better.

"But I don’t –" She turned away, suddenly afraid that her true feelings were written all over her face. "What makes you think –?"

Jared stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her shoulders in a fond embrace. "Because I’m your brother, and I know you…You loved him once, or you’d never have slept with him on that blasted cruise. Am I right?"

She let her breath out in a long, mournful note. She couldn’t lie about that. "Okay… I loved him – once. But that was a long time ago. Everything’s changed now. We’re not the same people we were then."

"Of course you aren’t, Brenda. You’re both older – and hopefully wiser now, so you won’t repeat your mistakes of the past. But the more things change, the more they stay the same."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that you must still love him, otherwise why have you stayed single all these years? I've seen you turn down dates left and right, Bren. And the guys you did go out with never lasted more than a couple of months – tops. What other explanation could there be?"

"No, that’s not true!" She shook her head violently. "I'm not in love with Jax!"

"Really? Then why do you refuse to date?"

"Well, I – It’s just that I've never met – I haven’t had the time to date anyone; I've been too busy raising my son –" She stumbled to a halt, knowing she sounded defensive.

"His son, too," Jared pointed out.

Brenda twisted around to face him. "That’s all he really wants, you know – JJ."

"I don’t think so, but even if he did, could you blame him? That was a terrible thing you did, Brenda – not telling him about his son."

"I had my reasons, Jared." Reasons she didn't want to explain at this point. "But I won’t marry him – I just can’t."

"Why not?" he persisted.

"Because living with and loving a man who doesn’t love me back will kill me."…Just as it almost killed her to admit such a thing aloud.

Jared smiled, cupping her cheek. "I don't buy that for a minute, baby sister. Any man in his right mind would love you – Hell, I’m betting that he already *does* love you."

She shook her head stubbornly. "I can't take the chance, Jared. What if he married me just to get his hands on JJ and then divorced me just as quickly? I would just die."

"No, he wouldn’t do that." Jared dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. "Because he’d have to deal with me if he did!" Straightening, he called brusquely, "You still out there, Jacks?"

The front door opened so promptly that Brenda wondered if Jax had been listening in on their conversation the entire time?

"What’s the law about getting a license in this state?" Jax asked immediately.

Brenda gasped. "Why do you want to know? There's no way I'll –"

Jared cut her off. "No waiting period; no blood test. You can get a license over at the Courthouse on Broad Street. It’ll cost you twenty dollars, and it’s good for thirty days."

Jax grinned. "You sound pretty up-to-date on the subject."

Jared grinned back. "Yeah, well, I got married not too long ago myself. So what do you say, sis?"

"About what?" She had this sick feeling that they were both ganging up on her.

"About getting a marriage license," Jax said patiently.

"Why bother?" She lifted her chin. "It's not like you’re going to be using it any time soon – not with me anyway. You’ll just be out twenty bucks."

"I can afford it," Jax smiled. "Besides, just in case you change your mind, we’d have it ready."

"I won’t change my mind."

"Want to bet?"

She backed away from both men, feeling overwhelmed. "I’ve had enough of this nonsense. Will you guys just go?"

"Can’t," Jared said. "Lois’s got the car. I’m afoot."

"I’m sure Jax wouldn’t mind giving you a ride." She instantly regretted suggesting that. They were already conspiring against her; she certainly didn’t need to throw them together so that they could scheme further to undermine her position.

Jax didn’t gave her a chance to take it back either. "Not at all." He gestured toward Jared, who nodded his head in agreement, and they both left together.

She watched them in amazement, walking shoulder to shoulder, talking as if they were old friends. She couldn't believe it: her brother – *her very own brother* – had betrayed her.

She bit her lip to keep it from trembling, then slammed the door to vent her frustration.

******************************

Jax returned later that same evening, just as she was preparing to tuck JJ into bed. When the boy saw who it was that was standing in their doorway, he leapt across the room in his pajamas and threw himself in Jax's arms. "Did you come to read me a story, like you promised? … Will you tuck me in bed?" he practically demanded.

 "Yes and yes," Jax answered, swinging his son easily over his muscular shoulders.

Oh, Jax, stop making promises you know you can't keep in the future; I will *not* let you hurt our son, Brenda thought, while watching father and son. Yet, she had to admit that they looked like they'd been doing this for years, instead of just days.

"I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind," he said, casting Brenda a look back over his shoulder as he and his son headed upstairs to JJ’s room.

Brenda minded very much but for the moment she felt powerless to do anything about it. But she certainly wasn’t about to let them out of her sight, so she followed them upstairs. And what she saw made her depressed and nervous: JJ, reaching up and kissing Jax’s cheek and whispering, "Good night… I love you."

Jax wore a smile that lit up his entire face, as he was clearly moved by his son’s declaration. "I love you, too, JJ, and don’t you forget it," he smiled.

Once back in the living room, Brenda refused to look at Jax. "I hope you’re not going to make a habit out of –"

"Of what?" he interrupted. "Tucking my son into bed?"

"Shhh, don’t call him that! He might hear you!" Brenda warned, casting a frightened glance toward JJ’s bedroom.

"That’s something we have to talk about."

"I don’t want to talk to you about anything. Just go – please."

"We've go to talk, Brenda." He led her to the couch and sat her firmly in the middle of it, then sat next to her. His gaze was truly intense. "I want to tell JJ that he’ s my son."

She felt the bottom drop out of her world, just as the bottom dropped out of her stomach. "No!"

"Yes. He has to know sooner or later. It would be devastating for him if he found the truth out later from someone else."

It would be devastating all right, Brenda thought – It would be devastating for her son to find his father, only to lose him all over again because she still intended to leave Port Charles. Of course, now it would be harder, but she was nothing if not resourceful. One way or another, she'd find a way…

Jax realized that Brenda was determined not to tell JJ the truth, and frustration crossed his face. "I don’t know how much more of this that I can take, Brenda. You have no idea how much I want to just hold him in my arms and tell him that daddy loves him. Every minute that I spend with him, the words hang there in my throat, waiting to come out. Do you know what he told me tonight?"

When she remained silent, he knew that she knew.

"He loves me, Brenda. *My son loves me.* Do you know how much that means to me?"

"If you love him, then you'll give both him and me time. He hardly knows you, Jax, so when he says he loves you he’s obviously just reacting to having a male figure in his life."

But she knew that was only partially true. JJ was growing more and more attached to Jax, and with each passing day their bond got stronger. It was clear to anyone who watched them that there was more to their relationship than mere friendship.

"Please Jax, promise me that you won’t tell him anything until I’m sure the time is right?" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

He wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not. Suddenly his blue eyes began to gleam.

She knew by that look that he was about to suggest something that she most likely wouldn’t like. She gave a long sigh. "What, Jax?"

"Let’s make a deal: if you come with me to get a marriage license, then I’ll put off telling JJ that I’m his father for now."

She stared at him in disbelief. "That’s blackmail!"

He laughed. "Lighten up, Brenda. Just because we’re getting a license doesn’t mean we have to use it. So, do we have a deal or not?"

She felt that he was crowding her and not caring about her feelings. As she saw it, this was once again all about him and getting what he wanted, which was her in his bed. Her immediate instinct was to say ‘no,’ but she knew that Jax wouldn’t hesitate to tell JJ if she did that. She had to seriously consider how all of this would affect JJ in the long run. "I'll think about it," she said at last.

He nodded, his eyelids drifting down until they half covered those remarkable eyes of his. "Okay, while you’re thinking about it, think about this…" Catching her by the shoulders, he lifted her to meet his descending lips in a kiss that burned all the way into her soul.

She’d known it was coming; she’d recognized the signs: the hooded eyes, the sensual smile – and yet she’d been unable to resist him. And the worst part was that she didn’t really want to resist. It was as if she was in a trance.

He slowly settled her soft body against his hard body, not once losing her gaze. He then proceeded to slowly kiss every part of her face, from her eyelids to her nose and lastly her chin. He then gave her one last quick kiss and set her aside. "Sweet dreams, Brenda," he whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Tomorrow," she murmured, still mesmerized by the spell he’d woven around her with those kisses. And after he’d left she found herself still remembering those kisses, as she traced her tingling lips with trembling fingers. Once again, despite what her mind told her, her body had betrayed her. "Oh, Jax, why can’t I just stop loving you? Things would be so much easier!!" she whispered aloud.

But she’d known from the first moment she’d seen him again that she'd never stop loving him. And if her rapidly beating heart whenever she was in his vicinity was any indication, her heart and mind were in for one long, drawn-out battle. The question was which would win out in the end?

To be continued…