Jax had given Brenda a week to make up her mind about marrying him, and Brenda was still trying to wrap her mind around his proposal – which was really an ultimatum in disguise – and he was making it extremely difficult for her to say no. She was subjected to his company practically every waking hour and it was wearing on her. But she had to admit though that he was wonderful with his son. It wasn't too difficult for Jax to coax her into letting JJ go into town with him to get ice cream. Or to go to the park or to do just about anything with him. But Jax was entirely too clever. He would bring up these ideas right in front of their son, making it virtually impossible for her to say no even if she wanted to, and that manipulation by him was driving her crazy!

But where JJ and Jax went, she went – albeit reluctantly. JJ and Jax were growing closer and closer right before her eyes. Panicked by this ever-escalating situation, she used every spare moment trying to figure out a way out of this mess. But no immediate solution presented itself – other than leaving Port Charles. And as if her son and ex-fiancé's closeness wasn't enough of a problem to deal with, she also had that little matter of a proposal hanging over her head.

She’d just tucked JJ into bed, when he came knocking on her door. True to his word, it was exactly one week after his ultimatum.

"Your week's up," he announced, as he walked into her house. "Are you going to marry me or what?" 

"Or what," she answered tartly. He'd hoped she'd…what? Change her mind? Forget the time limit he'd set? Fat chance!

His expression subtly altered, becoming harder and more relentless. "Fine, Brenda, but tomorrow morning I'm going to tell my son that I'm his father. I'll be here early tomorrow morning…"

"No, Jax! Don't!' She faced him defiantly. "I can't let you hurt him that way."

"Hurt him? Hurt him! You have got some nerve, Brenda!" He broke off his impassioned words and sucked in a deep breath. "You know, I said that I wouldn't be throwing blame around, and I won't, but know this, Brenda Barrett: I am that boy's father, and I *will* have a father's role in his life – one way or another."

She gasped, "Is that a threat?"

"No, sweetheart…" He slipped one hand around her neck and pulled her forward. "…It's a promise," he said softly.

His lips came down hard on hers; she could almost taste his frustration. But soon anger turned to passion and she could taste something else… and that sent shivers of longing all through her body, down to her toes. Completely overwhelmed by their passion, she reached for his buttons, furiously ripping them apart, still kissing him… 

But then Jax moaned, shattering the moment. He could feel her pulling away. Breathing hard and clearly aroused from their spontaneous display of passion, he lifted his head from hers. "Think about it," he whispered. "All you have to do is go with me to get the license – but it's got to be tomorrow. No more stalling, Brenda."

It was difficult for her to think when he held her so close. She could smell his cologne… feel the warmth of his breath on her skin… both awakening every sense in her body. And those eyes of his… God, those eyes… It took superhuman effort to deny him anything.

Meanwhile Jax was having thoughts of his own. God, she felt so good, nestled here in his arms. If he hadn't sensed her pulling away, nothing would have stopped him from making love to her right there on the living room floor. But this was neither the time nor the place, especially with their son sleeping just a few feet away. What was wrong with him? He couldn't be near her without wanting to touch her… or run his hands through her long, black, beautiful mane of hair… or kiss her… Get a grip, Jax! he chastised himself.

Jax’s inner turmoil was not lost on Brenda, who narrowed her eyes in interest at the look of anguish on his face. But she couldn't think about that right now. Resigned to her fate, she caved into his demands. "A license is just a piece of paper. If I agree –" she trailed off, interrupting his thoughts.

She couldn't miss the flare of triumph in his eyes. "If I agree –" she repeated. " – It still doesn't mean that I'll marry you."

"Maybe – maybe not – but it's one step closer – and you *will* marry me."

He buried his face in the curve of her shoulder, surprising her, making her tremble at the feel of his cheek pressed against her chin. Her hands fluttered up and she caught herself just in time to prevent herself from caressing his back and melting into his embrace.

His voice was a muffled murmur. "I knew you'd come around," he said triumphantly, nuzzling her neck. His arrogance set off something in Brenda, and all her anger came tumbling out. "Get away from me!" she growled, tearing herself out of his arms.

Taken aback, Jax released her abruptly. "Let's talk about this in the morning…"

"Oh, no, we won't! We're going to have this out right here, right now!!" she hissed. "So, you knew I'd come around, right?… Gullible Brenda. Kiss her and everything's going to be okay!!

"Well, it's not okay, Jax!!" She was practically screaming now, her eyes filling with tears. But she had to keep her voice down; JJ was in the next room, but this conversation was long overdue and Jax was going to know how she felt, whether he liked it or not. She closed the connecting doors between the rooms before continuing their tense conversation. "You know what I'm sick of, Jax? I'm sick of this," she said, holding her hands up in frustration.

"Sick of what?" Jax questioned, not quite sure how to react to Brenda's outburst.

"*This*!" she answered, kissing Jax to illustrate her point. He immediately responded.

"Don't you see, Jax? We're just going around in circles. We have this pattern: we argue about JJ, make up, and then we argue again. This *thing* that we have between is just lust… passion… whatever you want to call it. But it's not enough for us to build a family on. It can't be," she said sadly.

"You want to talk about patterns? Let's talk about yours," he fired back. "Every time I feel like we're making some headway – that we're getting close again – you end up running, Brenda. You've got these thick, defensive walls built up around you and damn anyone who tries to tear them down! When the going gets tough, you run – *that's* your MO!"

"That’s not fair! I have every reason not to trust you again. You broke my heart, Jax. I don't think you have even the faintest idea how much." She looked at him, her eyes filled with so much pain and regret. "And just when I think that I'm finally over you, you storm right back into my life, like a hurricane, changing everything in its path. You think we can just go back to what we had without missing a beat? Well, we can't, because we've changed. I'm not that little naive girl that you once knew. I'm 25-years-old now, with a child to look out for – your child! And I am not about to fall right back into bed with you simply because we can't seem to keep our hands off each other. Those days are long over, Jax – long over!"

She laughed ironically. "And you should be the last person talking to me about hiding my feelings. Of course, you would know since you're the expert on hiding… Since the minute you stepped foot into this town, you've been hiding behind that mask of yours… Using your charm to get whatever it is you want or desire."

Jax sighed. "Brenda what we have between us goes way beyond lust, and you know it."

Brenda shook her head. "Do I? All I know is that we were *this* close to having sex right here on my living room floor… with our son just a few feet away. We were acting like a couple of horny teenagers, for goodness sake! I hate feeling like this, like…"

"Hate feeling what?… You hate feeling wanted, Brenda? OK, you want honesty? Here it is…" He strolled towards her couch and sat down. She sat across from him, hands folded in her lap, anxiously awaiting whatever it was that he had to say. Was it possible? Could Jax be admitting that he was in love with her, like she was with him?

"Brenda," Jax reached out and held her hand in his, gently massaging her palm with his fingertips, "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I want you in my life…" He swallowed hard. "…For the rest of my life, Brenda."

"Jax," she said, her voice filled with emotion.

"I'm not done yet, Brenda," he continued. "The first time we met I knew that you were the one for me. I knew that I would never want another woman as much as I wanted you. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together," he paused, his words suddenly transporting him back to those glorious days, five years before…

(Flashback)

He was watching her sleep, one of his favorite past times. He couldn't believe his luck. He was going to marry the most beautiful and loving woman in the world. He felt like God had created her just for him… that she was the only woman he was born to love, fully and completely… and he loved her with all his heart and soul. And here she was… this wonderful creature… sleeping so peacefully in his arms, without a care in the world.

"I'm going to marry you, Brenda," he whispered tenderly, running his fingers through her hair. "I know that we've only known each other for a few days, but I feel like I've known you forever." Cuz from the moment that I saw your face…And felt the fire in your sweet embrace, I swear I knew. I'm gonna love you forever. As if in response, she rolled over, putting her hands right over his heart. He put his hands over hers…"That's right, Brenda, my heart is yours forever…"

In my life I've learned that Heaven never waits
Let's take this now before it's gone like yesterday
Cuz when I'm with you there's nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you
Loving me...I'm gonna love you

(End Flashback) 

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions in check, as he pulled himself back from those sweet memories. The last thing he wanted was to break down in front of her. After all, she had enough drama going on for the both of them tonight. He wondered what had brought all of this on for her? She was lashing out and taking no prisoners. Yes, they still had a lot of issues to deal with, and they would deal with them, but he was not going to be her punching bag tonight or any night.

"Look, Brenda. The way I see it, we can have a great life together. You just admitted that you're not over me, and I certainly can't get you out of my mind." Or heart either, he thought. "Brenda, we had something amazing once. Who knows what can happen now that we share a son together? … Do you believe in fate? ‘Cause I'm starting to. I don't think it was mere coincidence that we've met again after all these years."

"What about all those circumstances that kept us apart, Jax? Maybe fate was telling us something back then, too. Maybe we were meant to have that one great love affair and create a beautiful child together, but nothing more."

"I don't believe that, Brenda, and neither do you… Come here," he said softly, his outstretched arms, beckoning her over. "Please?" he added, when she didn't move. The air between them shimmered with hope. The tension stretched until Brenda could no more have prevented herself from going to him than she could have kept the sun from rising. With a cry of surrender, she flew into his arms, lifting her mouth to his with all the pent-up hunger that filled her soul. Afterwards, she lay in the embrace of the man that she loved and tried not to weep. Jax had brought her happiness beyond imagining. And she had brought him pleasure and he wanted her in his life forever. He had told her so; showed her with his kisses that thrilled her and made her blush. 

But he hadn't said the simplest words of all…

The ones that her heart ached for…

He hadn't said, "I love you…"

But she wanted him… Oh, yes, she wanted him with all her heart!

"So, what's it going to be, Bren? Are we going to get that marriage license or not?"

He sounded like he was talking about a golf date, she thought. And then she took a deep, deep breath, and did the only thing she could do.

She said ‘no.’