The water was sparkling that night. The stars, the moon, everything seemed to contribute to its patronizing shine. Joey stared at it with contempt from her dock. Why wouldn't love work between her and Dawson?

Dawson had come to her house, it was nearly midnight. If she had had an old grandfather clock, it would have rang twelve times by the time they were done. But her life wasn't like that. There was no clock, there was no money, and now there was no Dawson.

He had come to the conclusion that he didn't love her the way that he should. The way that she wanted. It had hurt her to an extreme that he would never know. His words were cold, unfeeling, uncaring. "I don't love you, Joey," played over and over again in her head.

There were people she could talk to. But Andie seemed to be getting sick of Dawson and Joey's never-ending saga. Jen still made her feel slightly uncomfortable and inadequate. Every reassuring word Jen gave her sounded like, "You loser, I got to dump him."

And finally there was Pacey. But he was only being nice to her in the first place because of Dawson. She didn't want to be reminded of that fact at the moment. She didn't want his pity. Pity from someone equally as pitiful was like the blind leading the blind.

But Pacey seemed to have another idea. He wanted Joey, badly in fact. And now was his chance. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, a goddess by some standards. She was funny, smart, and witty. And when she was around, his heart raced; he felt dizzy. He was in love.

The grass was slick with dew as he made his way towards her. Pacey was careful not to slip and make a fool of himself, although it would probably lift her spirits see him fall like that. The dock was drier and less stressful to walk on, he didn't have to watch his every step.

He sat down next to her and was greeted coldly.

"Go away, Pacey." When he didn't leave, she turned and glared at him.

“Are you deaf ? I just said leave me alone.”

“Actually, you said go away.”

“I'm not in the mood for your lame attempts at humour.”

“So you'd rather sit here by yourself, hating everyone?”

“That sounds about right.”

“Come on, Joey. I'm your friend, you can talk to me.” She shook her head.

“You are only my friend because Dawson asked you to be.”

“That's not true and you know it.”

“I know it is, she replied in a snappy voice.”

“At first, he asked me to watch out for you. But I really do care about you, Joey, no matter what you think.” There didn't seem to be a response. He sounded sincere. It was strange, he sounded a little more sincere than he should have. At this moment, he didn't put his arm around her shoulder, and hold her tightly. There were no tears for him to wipe away. All he could do was watch the gentle waves of the creek.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked, sounding frightened.

“I have a feeling that it doesn't matter if I say yes or no. You're going to tell me anyway.” She smirked and looked for a smile to appear. It didn't.

“This is serious.”

“Fine, then tell me.” He looked away for a minute. She followed his gaze.

“I don't think you're going to find it in the creek.”

“Find what?”

“Whatever you want to tell me.” He blushed.

“I'm just stalling.”

“I can see that.”

“Okay,” he said finally, rubbing his hands down his thighs, straightening the cargo pants he was wearing. “Joey, I have feelings for you. Strong ones. And I was hoping you might feel the same way about me.”

A flicker of a smile showed on Joey's face. He was relieved by that, but in seconds her expression hardened.

“You think that I would date a loser like you?”

“Wh-what?” Pacey sputtered. There had been hope. She had smiled at him! What had changed in those few seconds?

“I can't believe you. How many times do you have to get shot down to understand that you'll never get in my pants, Pacey?”

“Joey, I would never...”

“Yeah, right. All you do is think with your dick, Pacey. But I've got news for you. Not every girl drops her panties at the scent of testosterone.”

“I didn't mean it that way, Joey!”

“Then what do you mean by strong feelings?” she asked, knowing full well what he had really meant.

“I mean, I think I love you.” She laughed.

“And you thought I would love you back? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! You're a loser, Pacey. I find you repulsive. The thought of us together makes me want to vomit.” When she was done, she stood up. Looking down on him, she laughed again. Walking with a bounce in her step, she went into her house feeling better than she had.

All Pacey could do was stare after her. After a few minutes, he got up and started home. His heart felt as if someone had shattered it with a sledgehammer. He had gone there to comfort her and now he was the one who needed comfort.

The next morning, the weather was warm for March and all the students had replaced their sweaters for T-shirts. For some reason, Pacey still felt cold and opted for long sleeves.

Joey dressed appropriately, with a form fitting baby-tee and tight Levi's. It was enough to make Pacey wish he hadn't said a word, so he could stare at her in peace. Maybe a secret crush was better than rejection, he wondered.

Hoping she wouldn't notice him, he made his way carefully to his locker. Pacey feared he might turn to stone if she looked his way. It was embarrassing enough to be laughed at, but for her to rub it in would be worse and only prolong his suffering.

Dawson leaned against the locker next to Pacey's.

“Hey, man.” Pacey didn't even look up when he mumbled hello. Grabbing his books and shoving them into his bag, he sighed and finally looked Dawson in the eye.

“Good to know someone else looks like hell”, Dawson commented.

“Let me guess. She got to you too?” Pacey retorted.

“I got to her actually. Kept me up all night, not knowing whether I was right or wrong.”

“What'd you do to her?”

“I told her I didn't love her.”

“Funny. That's what she told me. Well, not in so many words.”

“Why would she tell you that?”

“Because I, unlike you, do love her.”

Dawson didn't react dramatically as Pacey had expected. Hell, he hadn't even planned on telling him. But he was too tired for secrets.

“Oh...,” was all he said.

They walked down the hall in silence. But they weren't headed for the classes. They were headed for the exit.

Once they were outside, Dawson muttered, “I guess we'll cut then.”

“I can't face her today, man. It hurts too much.”

“Fine with me.”

Joey paraded proudly down the hallway, walking with a confidence she'd never known she had. People stared at her as she passed, the second day in a row she had held her head high. She knew that she had hurt Pacey the night before. It had felt good for a little while, when she was still riding the natural high of telling someone off. But eventually common sense and guilt kicked in. She was, however, determined not to let it bother her. Jen was standing at her locker, her mouth agape at the sight of Joey, strutting down the hall.

“Hey Jen,” she said cheerfully as she passed.

“Joey,” she replied to Joey's back. Dawson came and stood beside her.

“Scary, isn't it?”

“What, is she on drugs or something?”

“I have no idea.”

Pacey walked into the surprisingly empty nurse's office, looking forlorn and tired. Miss Holmes, the nurse, looked up.

“Good Morning, Pacey!”

“Morning,” he said. Then he covered up his mouth as he yawned.

“Do you think I could lie down for a while? I didn't get much sleep last night.”

“Sure, Pacey. Any special reason you didn't get any sleep?”

“My brother went out to answer a call about a prowler at about eight. It turned out to be a fluke, so he went out to have a couple of drinks with friends. He didn't come home until four. My whole family was up worried sick, and of course they kept me awake, too.”

“All right, how long is your study?”

“I'm not in study, I'm in history.”

“How did you get out of class?”

“I have a headache.” She laughed.

“I bet you do!”

“Excuse me, but are you calling me a liar?”

“Go to sleep, Pacey... You need some sleep.” Pacey fluffed the pillow wrapped in a butcher-type paper and sat down on the teal, plastic couch. He pulled the red and blue plaid blanket over himself and closed his eyes.

Ten minutes later, Pacey was still wide awake, only with his eyes closed. He let out a frustrated cry and sat up.

“Can't sleep?”

“How did you guess?”

Probably the fact that you're not sleeping right now.”

Pacey chuckled halfheartedly. “I'm too tired to sleep.”

“What?”

“Sometimes, when I'm really exhausted, I just lay awake for hours. Like my body just doesn't have the energy to turn everything off.”

“Sounds fun.”

“And with a social life like mine, sleep is the highlight of my day.”

“Oh, don't give me that crap, Pacey. I think you're much more of a social butterfly than you think. I don't buy the Pacey Witter sob-story.”

“Social butterfly? Moi?”

“I always see you in the hallways, Pacey. You have friends.”

“Yeah, about five of them.”

“Where do you get this 'everyone hates me' attitude, Pacey? People like you. You're the class clown, he charmer. Where's your self-esteem?”

“I think they removed it when I was born.”

“Pacey, stand up and look at yourself in the mirror.”

“Wh-Why?”

“Just do it.” Reluctantly, he got up and stood in front of the full length mirror that was hanging from a closet door.

“What do you see?”

“A too-tall, scrawny slacker with oily skin, bad hair, and a big nose.”

“Where do you see any of that ? I see a tall, handsome, kind, intelligent student who could achieve anything he wanted if he just took off the blinders that prevented him from really seeing himself.”

“I'm wearing blinders?”

“You have this horribly distorted image of who you are, Pacey. You look at all the things you can't change. And you exaggerate them, too.”

“Exaggerate? Me? I speak nothing but the truth when I give you a physical description of the guy I'm looking at.”

“Pacey, please. No one sees you like that. Well, maybe the slacker bit, but that's your own fault. For a while there you had your average pulled way up. What happened?”

“My girlfriend...”

“That's your problem. You can't chuck your personal issues at the door and throw away your work. If you did that life would be a lot easier.”

"But everyone that is in my 'personal life' is right here at school. And when I see them, I can't just whip out my math book or something."

“That's not at all what I'm suggesting. You just need to focus on school when you're in school. If you have to, just ignore the people that are stressing you out.”

“Ignore Joey Po... nevermind.” He straightened his slightly wrinkled shirt and gave a small smile.

“I feel better. I think I'm going to go back to class.”

“No! Pacey, wait--” As Pacey rushed out of the nurse's office with his head turned, he crashed directly into Joey. Books went flying and Pacey instantly dropped to his knees, apologizing profusely. He began picking up her books and handing them to her, never looking at her face.

“Sorry.” He said it once more. Joey frowned and bit her lip. He can't even look at her anymore, she thought sadly.

“No, Pace... I'm sorry.”

Even that didn't make him take his eyes off the floor. Without a word he walked away from her. Obviously it would take more than a simple apology to make up for the things she had said. Apparently it would also take more than cutting school to avoid her, too. That whole day she had felt completely horrible about herself. And worse yet, Pacey had told Dawson and Jen what happened. Now they thought she was nuts, too.

There had to be some way to explain to him what was going on. Some way to make him see that she hadn't meant anything she said to him.

“If she sits here, I swear to god...” Pacey said to Dawson and Jen. He shook his head vigorously.

“She's coming over.” Jen smiled.

“She's got nerve.”

“Come on, it's just Joey.” Pacey snorted.

“No, it's Joey from hell.”

“You're only saying that because she rejected you,” Dawson quipped. Pacey's face fell and he suddenly became interested in his lunch. Jen shook her head disapprovingly at Dawson.

“What?” Joey dropped her tray onto the table loudly.

“Hi...” Dawson and Jen greeted her with cheerful hellos. Pacey didn't say anything or look up. Joey thought for a minute that he might leave. But he didn't exactly have anywhere to go.

“Nice to see you too, Pacey,” she said sarcastically. He didn't respond or show emotion of any kind.

“Are you deaf or something, Pace?” Jen giggled.

“I think you're getting the silent treatment.”

“That's really mature.” Still nothing. She needed something. She wanted him to get mad at her, to tell her what a bitch she had been.

“Fine be that way.” Joey sat down. She looked from Dawson to Jen, but neither one of them would make eye contact with her.

“This is going to be pleasant,” she mumbled. Pacey finally looked up.

“We were fine until you got here, Potter. No one wants you to sit with us. So, do us all a favor and find some other victims.” He glared at her, looking directly into her eyes.

“You can’t make me leave.”

“No, I can't. But don't expect anyone to acknowledge you or anything, Miss Thing. We're not here to entertain you.” Joey heard Dawson and Jen snicker. Her cheeks were a flaming pink with embarrassment. She had pushed way too many buttons.

“Pacey, if you can't deal with me not wanting to go out with you...”

“I can deal just fine. What I can't deal with is someone who gets off on hurting her friends.”

“You mean you.”

“Fuck you, Jo. Did you expect me to act positive about being put down? Humiliated?” His voice was raising and drawing a lot of attention.

“Pacey, we're not alone, we can't do this here.”

“I don't give a crap. You're sick, Jo. When someone tells you they love you and they think you're wonderful, they don't want to hear how unattractive and terrible you think they are. You’re totally passionless and inconsiderate!” He scowled and picked up his things. “Obviously your skull is about as thick as your Wonder Bra, so I'll leave.”

He stood up, knocking over his chair, and stormed out. People clapped and cheered as he left. Even Dawson and Jen had to bite their cheeks to keep from laughing. Joey thought she might cry.

To be continued...

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