Darren Peter Oswald: Uhm, it was my game . . . I was playing here . . .
Hammond: Were you, pinhead? Now you're not.
Zero: Aw, man . . . you shouldn't have done that . . .
Scully: I wasn't aware of that.
Tuller: That's as clear as glass.
Scully: Feel free to jump in any time . . .
Mulder: Why? You were doing just fine.
Scully: You have a theory on what's going on here?
Mulder: I just don't think it's lightning.
Scully: I hope you're not thinking this has anything to do with government conspiracies or UFOs.
Mulder: None of the evidence so far indicates either of those possibilities.
DPO: Why do you want to watch all that stuff anyway? They're all a bunch of losers.
Mom: 'Cause they're on TV. I don't see you on TV.
(He burps loudly)
Mom: Manners don't cost, Darren, they're free! What girl's gonna want a belchin' fool like you?
DPO: Hey, you know, I think you wanna be someplace else right now, 'cause I'm in the mood for a little barbecue.
Zero: Naw, man, not the cows again . . .
Mulder: That's great, now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water?
Mulder: 8 1/2? That's pretty impressive, Scully.
Scully: Well, it says it right here on the bottom . . .
Mulder: Ooohh.
Mulder: Let's go see if the shoe fits.
Zero: You know, I've been thinking . . .
DPO: First time for everything.
(cars squeal, stop inches from each other)
DPO: Aw, damn ABS brakes . . .
Scully: Mulder, what's in your pocket?
Zero: There's another slight problem, she's married to your boss.
DPO: Maybe I could fry him.
Zero: Dude, he's your Boss!
DPO: Not if he's dead he won't be.
Scully: I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue.
Mulder: Oh, I have. April is the cruelest month, but mine didn't come with this. I found it between Miss April and Women of the Ivy League.
DPO: (reviving Mr. Kiveat) Rescue 911.
Scully: So what? Are we supposed to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?
DPO: You know, we could take an Accord or a Maxima . . . you know, you like any of these? Or hey, you know, if you don't want to go Japanese, You Know, how 'bout a Taurus? Naw, you're right, you know, all these cars SUCK!
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