Sloan: All right, lets uh shoot this next one real carefully Marty, because it's where they're gonna put the Blockbuster.
Marty: You're a moron, Sloan. You know that?
Sloan: Tree-hugger.
(After happy teamwork drivel)
Mulder: Kill me now.
Male Agent: I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word 'but'.
Mulder: I'm having that same problem right now.
Girl Agent: Have you ever been to team seminar, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: No. You know, unfortunately around this time of the year I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.
Guy Agent: (Not listening) Well, it builds muscles you didn't even know you had!
(Mulder laughs at him silently)
Girl Agent: Cooperation, that's the key.
Mulder: (Thankful at getting out of the car) Thank you, Jesus!
(Scully longingly watches Mulder escape while she is still trapped)
Mulder: How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
Scully: You want me to tell them you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
Mulder: You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that -- unspoken. You know what I'm thinking.
Mulder: Who cut the cheese?
Scully: Since you won't be making it to the conference.
Mulder: Par-tay!
Scully: However, I must remind you, this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that Tailhook crap on me Scully, and I'll kick your ass.
Scully: You know, Mulder, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Mulder: I'll be back soon, and we can build a tower of furniture.
Scully: Mulder, we're in Western Florida. The closest thing to primitive down here is living in a beachfront retirement condo.
Scully: You're putting me on.
Mulder: No, my dad and I were Indian guides. I know these things.
Mulder: (Commenting on the heat seeking camera) That's pretty sophisticated for government issue.
Scully: It sure is beautiful, though.
Guide: That's what happens. People get to looking around. Next thing they know, something eats them.
Guide: If we become blinded by the beauty of nature we may fail to see its cruelty and violence.
Scully: Walt Whitman?
Guide: No, When Animals Attack on the Fox Network.
Mulder: Don't shoot unless you're sure you'll hit it. It may be trying to spend our advantage.
Scully: What the hell is it, Mulder?
Mulder: Whatever it is, it's smarter than we are. At least out here.
(Thanks Amber!)
Mulder: They separated us; that was on purpose. They divided us so they could go after her. She was in the lead and presumably the stongest. They take the strongest first.
Glaser: They take them where? That doesn't make any sense.
(Finally deciding to leave the forest)
Mulder: (sighs) All right, we all go then. (to Glaser) You lead the way.
(Thanks Jan!)
Mulder: They became known as the Moth Men. I got an X-File dated back to 1952 on them.
Scully: What would that be filed next to? The Cockroach that ate Cincinnati?
Mulder: No, the Cockroach that ate Cincinnati is in the C's. The Moth Men is over in the M's.
Scully: (Getting frustrated trying to light the fire) You were an Indian guide, help me out here.
Mulder: Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches.
Scully: I would but I left my wallet in the car.
Scully: If I can separate the shell from the casing maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
Mulder: Eh, and maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows.
Scully: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
Mulder: No! Yes. Yeah.
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky.
Scully: You ever thought seriously about dying?
Mulder: Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades.
Mulder: If you're lucky you get 75 years. If you're really lucky you get 80 years. And if you're extraordinarily lucky you get to have 50 of those years with a decent head of hair.
Mulder: Go, girl.
Mulder: Hey, who did you identify with as a kid? Wilma or Betty?
Scully: I identified with Betty's bustline.
Mulder: Yes! I did too.
Mulder: I don't want to wrestle.
Scully: Get over here. I'm going to try and keep you warm.
Mulder: One of us has got to stay awake, Scully.
Scully: You sleep Mulder.
Mulder: If you get tired, you wake me.
Scully: I'm not going to get tired.
Mulder: Why don't you sing something?
Scully: No, Mulder.
Mulder: Sing something so I know you're awake.
Scully: You don't want me to sing Mulder. I can't carry a tune.
Mulder: It doesn't matter--just sing anything.
Scully: (Pauses) Jeremiah was a bullfrog . . . Was a good friend of mine . . . Never understood a single word he said . . . But I helped him drink his wine.
Mulder: Chorus.
Scully: Joy . . . to the world . . . All the boys and girls . . . Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea . . . Joy to you and me.
Mulder: You all right?
Scully: Yeah. I landed on soft dirt . . . kind of.
Mulder: (Building body pile) Too bad we don't have any office furniture.
Scully: I can see us now . . . there's plenty more bodies but there ain't no honey-baked ham.
Mulder: Go team!
Guy Agent: You're just making this up!
Mulder: Why do you say that?
Guy Agent: Cause you work on the X-files and . . . you just want to write off your hotel room!
5x03 5x05
