(Mayor Jim Gilmore and an eight year old in a leotard, approach a plane that just landed. Mulder and Scully get out of the small plane. The girl presses a button on her cassette player and begins dancing and twirling her baton.)
Scully: (to Mulder) Don't look at me. This was your idea.
Mayor Gilmore: If I'd have known you was bringing the missus, I would've arranged for fancier accommodations.
(Mulder purses his lips, smiles, and looks away.)
Scully: I'm Agent Scully, Agent Mulder's partner. I'm . . . sure the accommodations will be just fine.
Mayor: My apologies, ma'am.
Mayor: The hell I do. I mean he shows up at a farm, does his dog and pony act and the heavens weep.
Scully: Well, sir, if this man Mootz could, in fact, somehow produce rain then what's the crime?
Mayor: I believe Daryl's causing the drought . . . so he can charge folks for the rain.
(Scully looks at Mulder. He looks innocent.)
Scully: And this is what you told Agent Mulder when you spoke earlier?
Mayor: Yes, ma'am. He seemed real eager to help us.
(Scully looks at Mulder. He looks innocently back at her.)
Scully: Mulder, I see the vacant buildings. I see the signs. These people are scared. But there have always been droughts and natural disasters and people are always looking for a scapegoat.
Mulder: Yeah, but how many scapegoats lease office space?
Mulder: (holding out his badge) Agents Mulder and Scully with the FBI. We're looking for Daryl Mootz.
Cindy: (holding up a finger) One second. (into phone) Yes, ma'am. Appendix "C." That's right. I need a six-pack of beer, a carton of Morley Lights, and a big old bowl of jellybeans. And can you pick out all the green ones 'cause he don't like the green ones. You're welcome. (she hangs up and looks at Mulder and Scully) Now, what can I do for the FBI?
Mulder: (in an Elvis accent) We want to see the king.
Scully: If we could get a list of all the people who have employed his services, it would be helpful.
Cindy: I don't understand. Does he . . . Don't y'all need a warrant or a subpoena or something like that?
Scully: We usually just say, "please."
Sheila: Holman, I'd like to introduce you to the Gundersons.
Holman: Congratulations! I hope you have a truly romantic getaway.
Sheila: Aren't you glad you watch Channel Five weather?
Scully: (showing badge) We're Agents Mulder and Scully. We're with the FBI.
Sheila: FBI? Oh, my goodness! I thought you were the "Watch the Weather and Win" contest winners.
Holman: See, we haven't had any rain in months and . . . well, people tend to blame the messenger.
Sheila: Oh, there's the Gundersons. Over here!
(The Gunderson's, an older plain-looking farm couple come over. They look NOTHING like Mulder and Scully.)
Mulder: (smiling at Scully) It's like looking in a mirror.
Holman: When I first saw the pair of you I thought you were rather smartly dressed for a farm couple. Make yourselves at home.
Scully: Can we go now?
Mulder: No, no, um . . . What about the rain?
Holman: Well, that's a more clouded issue if you'll excuse my pun.
Holman: I went to high school with Daryl. Different social circles and . . . frankly, he's about the last man I would give credit to for anything . . .
Scully: I hear a big "but" coming.
Holman: Daryl appears to be the real deal. I can't explain it, but . . . where he wanders, showers follow.
Mulder: How do you explain your unique ability?
Daryl: I don't. It's complicated.
Mulder: Try me. I watch the Weather Channel.
(As M&S travel into the field while Daryl does way freaky deaky dance)
Scully: Mulder, what are we doing here?
Mulder: Well, this is not without historical precedent. The Old West was full of traveling men who claimed to be rainmakers. The Pueblo Indians even had a rain dance.
Scully: Mulder, that is not a rain dance. My Irish Aunt Olive has more Cherokee in her than Daryl Mootz. I mean, look at him, Mulder. Does that look like a man who can control the weather?
(There is a thunderclap, and then Mulder and Scully are drenched as rain begins pouring down. Daryl points his fingers like guns at Mulder and Scully and grins triumphantly.)
(Scully is in Mulder's room looking up through the giant hole in the ceiling. A man with a chainsaw is getting ready to cut up the cow.)
Man with Chainsaw: Ma'am, unless you want to get covered in hamburger, I reckon you should step outside.
Hotel Manager: Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room.
Scully: He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms.
Hotel Manager: Oh, old-fashioned are you, huh? Well, we're booked solid with the high school reunion. You can take it or leave it.
Mulder: Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me just as we're down here investigating the weather.
Scully: (checking his scalp and forehead) Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?
Mulder: I'm telling you, that cow had my name on it.
Sheila: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not something that I can control.
Mulder: Are you saying that you're somehow responsible for the . . .
Sheila: I murdered that poor cow!
Sheila: Am I under arrest?
Mulder: No. I can tell you without a doubt that you're not responsible for any of that weather.
Sheila: Oh . . . But . . .
Mulder: Agent Scully and I specialize in these types of cases and-and-and although you may have had some bad luck you didn't cause any of it.
Sheila: Are you sure?
Mulder: Yeah, yeah, I'm . . . I'm sure. Scully, you have any doubts?
Scully: No.
Mulder: You see?
Scully: No doubts.
Sheila: I really want to believe you. Thanks.
(Sheila kisses Mulder's hand affectionately and gazes up at him. Scully raises brows.)
Mulder: You're welcome.
Cindy: Daryl . . . Do you hear that?
Daryl: Hear what?
Cindy: The rain stopped.
Daryl: Uh-oh.
Sheila: Yes, you were, and I am so over him. "Daryl who?" That's what I say. I realized that I've been chasing the wrong kind of guy. I need someone who I can talk to. I need someone who I can feel safe with.
Holman: I can't tell you what that means to me.
Sheila: Holman, I want to ask you something and I hope that we can keep it our secret for the time being.
Holman: Of course, Sheila, anything.
Sheila: Well, what do you think of Agent Mulder?
(Outside the studio, thunder crashes.)
Mulder: I've come to say good-bye, Holman.
Holman: You're leaving.
Mulder: Yeah. But I want you to get some help before you kill somebody.
Holman: Help? What are you talking about?
Mulder: You know what I'm talking about. You're not just a weatherman, you're *THE* weatherman. You're the person who's been affecting the weather.
Mulder: I just think you . . . you bottle up your emotions, anger or grief or love or whatever and then, as a response, it rains or hails or there's a flying cow.
Mulder: It's Sheila, isn't it? You love her. You've always loved her. That, uh, tornado at the high school . . . that was you, wasn't it?
Holman: The night of our senior prom, I, uh . . . accidentally stumbled upon her and her boyfriend . . . in flagrante delicto. And the next thing you know . . .
Mulder: And you've never told her the way you feel?
Holman: How can a frog tell a swan that he loves her?
Mulder: Well, you better tell her or you're going to kill somebody. (goes to leave)
Holman: W-well, you got to help me.
Mulder: I got a plane to catch.
Holman: You can't go. If you don't help me, who will?
Mulder: I am meeting my partner at the airport.
(Mulder's cell phone rings.)
Mulder: Excuse me. Hold on . . . Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, it's me.
Mulder: I'm on my way.
Scully: I'm not so sure. Have you looked outside lately? It's pea soup. Our plane can't take off until after this fog lifts.
Mulder: Fog? (looks accusingly at Holman) Holman!
(Holman shrugs.)
Scully: Holman?
Mulder: Yeah . . . he wants advice. Dating advice.
Scully: Dating advice? From whom?
Mulder: Yours truly. (Very LONG pause) Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Mulder: I will talk to you later.
Scully: (to herself) The blind leading the blind.
Holman: I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were . . . More experienced. I mean . . . You spend every day with Agent Scully a beautiful, enchanting woman. And you two never, uh . . .? (no response from Mulder) I . . . confess I find that shocking. I . . . I've seen how you two gaze at one another.
(Long pause. Then Mulder puts his arm on Holman's shoulders and leads him toward Sheila's office.)
Mulder: This is about you, Holman. I'm here to help you. I'm perfectly happy with my relationship with Agent Scully.
Mulder: (straightens Holman's tie) Just tell her how you feel. (Smacks him in the cheeks)
(Holman starts to go into Sheila's office.)
Mulder: And Holman. I do not gaze at Scully.
(Mulder looks out the window as it begins raining heavily. Holman comes out of Sheila's office.)
Mulder: (grinning at Holman) Oh, you did it.
Holman: (morbid) No, you did it.
Mulder: What are you talking about?
Holman: She said that she loves me but that she's in love with you.
(Out in the hall Daryl confronts Sheila and grabs her arm.)
Mulder: Hey! Hey, Daryl. Cut it out, man.
(Sheila looks at Mulder worshipfully.)
Daryl: Him? This is the guy?! Oh, what's he got that I ain't got?
Sheila: A job. A way with words. Intelligence. Good looks.
Daryl: Good looking? I'll show you good looking.
(Clumsily, Daryl swings at Mulder who easily dodges.)
Sheila: Daryl! No, not his face!
(Daryl swings again.)
Mulder: Daryl.
Sheila: Don't you hit him in the face!
(Mulder swings Daryl around and up against the wall and handcuffs him.)
Daryl: Oh, good. Picking on a cripple. You'll hear from my lawyer.
Scully: Mulder, the fog has lifted and if you're ready . . . the plane is waiting.
Mulder: (looking through a window at a weather monitor) Scully, do you know anything about, um . . . weather radar?
Scully: A bit. Why?
Mulder: What does red mean?
Scully: Thunderstorms, I think.
(Scully joins him at the window. A storm of hurricane proportions is approaching the area.)
Mulder: Looks like we're not going to be able to catch our plane.
(Mulder and Scully find Holman and pull him out into the hall.)
Mulder: Come on, Holman, now make it stop.
Holman: This is your fault, not mine.
Mulder: My fault?
Holman: You were kissing her.
(Lights flicker. Sheila joins them in the hall.)
Sheila: Oh, look who's here's some of my favorite people. Old friend, . . . (crosses to Mulder and smiles at him) . . . and new ones.
Mulder: I'll build the ark, you gather the animals.
(Scully heads to the bathroom.)
Mulder: (calling after her) I was kidding.
Scully: Agent Mulder believes that-that Holman is . . . unwittingly destroying this town because of his unspoken love for you.
Sheila: You love him, don't you?
Scully: (softly) What?
Sheila: You're jealous because Agent Mulder and I have a special connection and you're trying to divert me to Holman.
Scully: What?
Daryl: It is good to be the king! It is good to be the king! Where's Sheila?
Mulder: Where's your leg?
Daryl: Cindy took it. Said I'd have to crawl back to her.
Sheila: (disbelieving) Not even a kiss? (Scully shakes her head) Trust me, the man knows how to kiss.
Sheila: I just never thought of Holman that way, you know. He's my closest friend, and to not even suspect--
Scully: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -- the ones that last -- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is . . . suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
Daryl: I'm sorry, baby.
Cindy: Me, too. I brought you a leg.
Daryl: Oh! Why you so good to me, honey?
Mulder: I didn't know reunions could be so . . .
Scully: Wet?
(Holman and Sheila walk up to Mulder and Scully.)
Mulder: Well, how'd it go?
Holman: You should try it sometime.
6x06 6x08
