Signs That You Are Too Drunk Would Be...
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond the Presidential Election 2000.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. Your twin sons are named Barley and Bud.
13. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
14. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
15. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
16. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
17. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
18. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
19. You don't know who's your wife, the bar tender or the lady at home--- or is the bar your home... or should we not go there?
20. The road starts to move as you drive home, and flashy lights follow you home ALL the time, and you don't know why.