Funny Answering Machine Messages
1. Hi! John's answering machine is
broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll
stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
2. Hi. Now you say something.
3. [In a bored voice:] Heaven, God speaking...
4. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but
if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
5. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you.