Author Note: I began writing this story after "Vanishing Act" ended. Perhaps out of my own frustration with the last scene between Doug and Carol and for my need for closure. I watched that scene many times, I took pictures of it, I even went as far as transcribing the three major scenes where Doug and Carol talked about the pregnancy and I read the many discussions about this topic. I still cant get that song out of my mind. Obsessed?! Anyway, the following is how I imagine the event could have played out after Carol found out she wasnt pregnant.
The following contains a graphic sexual scene and is therefore rated for 18+ readers. Of course, this story has no official affiliation with NBC, Constant-C or Warner Brothers and is for entertainment purposes only, no profit is derived from it. Please do not reproduce without my consent.
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Aftermath
by Ruth
socalgal7@yahoo.com
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The night wore on. Steaks were grilled. Idle chit chat took place. Carol briefly talked about covering for Lucy and how she felt she was only helping her. Doug understood; didnt blame her for her actions. The pregnancy test remained in its bag, sitting on the table between them as a constant reminder of the days events.
"Im really tired Doug. Im going to go to bed." Carol lightly kissed him before entering the house.
"Okay. Ill be in in a few minutes. I just want to straighten up a bit."
She gazed at him for a moment. Still wondering what he felt about what happened that day. Not wanting to ask him, though, for fear of what he might say. "Okay" she whispered.
After Carol went inside, Doug aimlessly picked up the remains of dinner tossing it into the trash bin. He picked up the bag with the pregnancy test in it and removed the box. He turned the box over a few times and read the directions. Damn it, he thought, we should have talked about this. Why couldnt we talk about this?
With a sigh he entered the house and went up to the bedroom. He assumed Carol was already in bed so he quietly opened the door so as not to disturb her. She was in the shower. He knew hot showers always helped her relax. He wanted to put the pregnancy test away so he crept into the bathroom. She didnt hear him come in.
He could see her outline through the shower door and heard her softly crying. His heart ached for her. He wanted to comfort her, tell her it was all right, that he loved her more now than he ever had. But he didnt. For some reason he felt she needed to be alone. To deal with the pain in her own way. He decided at this point that they would talk about this, they had to talk about it, but later. When their emotions were not so intense.
He left the bathroom unnoticed and placed the bag with the test in it in his sock drawer. Hed put it away later. He stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed and waited for Carol to finish. He desperately wanted to hold her, to feel her body next to him. He felt anxious and would only settle down when she was in bed with him.
Carol finally stopped crying. She wasnt sure if she wept for the child that wasnt to be or for how Doug was reacting to the situation. They would have to talk about this. They couldnt get married without knowing how they felt about having children. She decided they would talk about it, but not yet. Later when she could better deal with her feelings.
She turned the bathroom light off and went into the bedroom. Dougs eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and rhythmic. He had left a night light on for her and the sheets were turned down. She smiled. She really did love this man.
Carol climbed into bed and snuggled up against Doug with her back facing his stomach. His arm reached across her and pulled her tightly to him. He gently kissed the back of her head.
"I love you Carol."
She fought back the tears. "I love you too, Doug."
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The events of that day were tucked away for a little while and Doug and Carol went on with their hectic lives.
This day was particularly crazy in the ER. Doug and Kerry were constantly at each others throats with Mark running interference, Carter was working Lucy hard, not giving her an inch to spare, Carol was getting frustrated with Lynette as they clashed about patient care and Elizabeth and Romano simply exchanged evil stares has they passed each other in the hallway.
"Damn it Kerry. Why do you insist on constantly looking over my shoulder and second guessing my decisions? If I say I only want experience staff giving IVs to children then that is the way it will be!"
"This is a teaching hospital Doug. You cant just decide who will give IVs and who wont. These people need to learn how to do that procedure."
"Then let them learn on adults. I wont have them poking and prodding a child who is already scared to death."
"Christ Doug. This is classic behavior from you. Making up your own rules as you go without a second thought to the policies of this hospital. Well, as a Pediatric Attending you had better start think about policies!"
"You know what Kerry, this discussion is over. I will not explain to you my approach to the Peds unit. The board apparently thought I was capable enough to handle it and that is all that really matters."
"Okay you two. If you plan on continuing this discussion take it into the lounge."
"Im not continuing this discussion Mark."
Doug stormed into the lounge leaving Kerry stunned and even madder. Knowing she would get little support from Mark she left the area in a huff.
Carol witnessed this transaction and followed Doug into the lounge. Doug was pacing back and forth, swearing under his breath.
"Hey Doug. Come here and sit down. Let me rub some of that tension out of your neck. It felt wonderful when you did it for me."
He quickly obliged. He needed to feel Carol close to him. These run-ins with Kerry always set him over the edge. Carol knew how to calm him down, though. She could talk to him and help him put things into perspective.
Carol stood behind him and worked her fingers deep into his neck muscles and down his shoulders. Her touch was so soothing. He was quickly beginning to relax. She gently pushed his head forward and massaged the base of his skull. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations he was feeling. Her hands moved to his shoulders again and he felt her lips on the back of his neck. Slow, hot kisses covered his flesh. God that felt good. Over the past week they really hadnt been close much. Not because she was on her period. They had made love when she was on her period before. But because they hadnt dealt with the pregnancy issue yet. Doug felt it was time.
"Hey guys, weve got a multiple car accident coming in. ETA 5 minutes."
Marks announcement jolted them out of their thoughts.
"Carol? Weve both got this weekend off. I really think we need to talk."
Carols stomach jumped a bit. She knew what he wanted to talk about and was a bit nervous about it. "Okay, youre right. Lets stop on the way home and get some take out and "
Mark burst in again. "Doug, Carol now!"
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The drive home was quiet. Both were trying to think of how they were going to start this conversation.
They had stopped for Chinese and when the got home Carol went straight to the kitchen to get plates and utensils. Doug placed all the boxes on the living room table and waited for her to come in. He had decided that rather then ask her if she wanted kids he would just tell her his feelings about the issue. He didnt want to put her on the spot.
Carol came in with plates and forks in one hand and two beers between her fingers in her other hand.
"Beer?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Carol, sit down. I dont want to beat around the bush anymore about this children issue. We should have talked about this a long time ago." His words began to tumble out. "I love you. I never thought it was possible to love someone as much as I love you. I very much want children with you but I want us to be married first. When you told me you were late I was excited and scared. Then when you said you got your period I was happy and sad. Ive thought about this all week. If you had been pregnant, Carol, I would have loved our child and given it a happy and good life. But I have to admit Im glad you are not pregnant. I want our children to know that their parents love each other and they got married because they wanted to be together, not because the HAD to get married. I know this may sound old fashioned but it is how I feel."
Carol sat and starred at him for a moment. She soaked in his words and carefully thought about what she was going to say. She scooted closer to him and took his hand in hers.
"Doug. I was really scared to have this conversation with you. I really couldnt tell from our last talk whether you wanted children or not. Youre right. We should have talked about this a long time ago. I thought we were past holding back our feelings. I blame myself for much of what has been going on lately. I think I have been a bit withdrawn lately. Thinking more of me then us.
"No, Carol, you havent "
"Doug, let me finish. I have been a bit distant. I cant explain it. Maybe its been the stuff going on at work. Maybe because its almost been a year since you asked me to marry you and Ive been thinking a lot about that lately."
Carol paused and looked down, thinking about her next words. Doug waited patiently, anxious to hear what she was going to say.
She looked into his eyes and with tears on the verge of spilling down her face she blurted out "I want to be your wife and I want to have your children. You dont know how happy it makes me to think of our future. To think of raising our children and growing old together. To think of sharing every aspect of our lives. I love you Doug and nothing will ever change that."
He smiled and then cut her off with a kiss. Slow at first and then more passionate. They pressed their bodies against each other and let their hands roam freely. Doug couldnt get enough of her. His tongue deep in her mouth. He wanted desperately to make love to her. They wanted the same thing and he was happy.
"Lets go upstairs Carol."
Carol could only nod. She was out of breath but needed him as much as he needed her. She stood up and reached out for his hand. He took it in his and they went to their bedroom.
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They each took turns removing pieces of clothing, kissing and stroking as they went. As they stood before each other naked Carol admired Dougs body. His graying hair, strong jaw line, broad shoulders, the muscles in his abdomen, the muscles that had developed in his legs from years of basketball playing. She loved this man for who he was inside but she couldnt deny she loved the physical aspects of Doug as well.
He chuckled and broke her train of thought. "What are you looking at?"
"Oh, umm, well you. You know youre pretty damn sexy."
"Yeah, I know."
"Very funny Doug." She moved up against his body and wrap her arms around his waist. "Kiss me," she whispered.
Brushing her hair away from her face he eagerly complied with her request, pulling her down to the bed with him. She lay on top of him and began to explore the body she was just admiring. This was actually one of her favorite parts of making love to Doug; touching him, feeling him, making his body react to her probing.
As she wandered farther down his body his arousal was growing stronger and stronger. He knew if she took him into her mouth he would come immediately. He didnt want that. He wanted them to have their orgasms through intercourse, not by oral sex.
He sat up slightly and guided Carol back up to his mouth. As their tongues entwined he rolled her over onto her back. His hand massaged one breast and his mouth covered the other, bring the nipples to a hard point. His wet mouth moved to her stomach as his hands lightly brushed her inner thighs. She was ready for him. She was moaning and trying to guide his hand to her throbbing clit.
Although he wanted to he wouldnt let his fingers move inside her. Instead he poised his body over hers and began to enter her very slowly. She raised her hips to guide him in faster but he pushed her back down on the bed.
"No no. Let me do it my way."
She relax her body and let him take command. Doug was raised over her body so he could view his penetration into her. She could feel his penis enter her. First the tip, then the shaft, inch by inch, deeper and deeper. It took so long and it took every ounce of her will power not to arch into his body. She could feel his testicles pressing against her.
With each slow thrust into her body she emitted soft moans. She spread her legs wider to allow for deeper penetration but he continued to control his speed and force in her. He pressed his body against hers and kissed her neck, her jaw, her mouth. He knew she wanted him to go faster. She was holding onto his hips and trying to take over control his movements.
"Doug please."
Her words made his own will power begin to crash down and he began to drive faster into her. She started to match his movements, encouraging him on. He drove harder and harder now and her moans became louder and louder.
"Doug!" She wrapped her legs tightly around him. "Yes now."
Her orgasm was powerful. Wave after wave pulsed through her body. Her muscles tightly contracted around Doug and every ounce of his will power was now gone. He came with her. Grunting and clinging onto her body. Not wanting it to end. His mind whirling.
They both slowed their movements. Breathing hard Doug collapsed onto her body. She stroked his back and kissed his cheek. He withdrew from her and rolled onto his back.
"Wow," Carol said.
"Yeah," was all Doug could reply.
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Both fought sleep. Carol started to get out of bed.
"Where are you going?"
"All that food is still on the table. Its going to go bad. I was just going to put it away."
"No, Carol, leave it. If it goes bad, it goes bad. I dont want you to leave."
She smiled at him. "Okay."
"You know we still have more to talk about," Doug said as he pulled her close to him.
"Yeah, I know. And we will."
"Good," he mumbled as sleep overcame him.
"I love you," she whispered as she too drifted off to sleep.
THE END
10/28/98