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The show ER, and all characters and situations borrowed from it, are property of
Constant-C, NBC, Warner Brothers, etc. This fanfiction is for entertainment only, and no
money is made from it. The story contains graphic scenes and words which may offend some
readers, and as such, it is not appropriate for children under 18. This story is not to be
archived or distributed without the permission of the author.
This story is the sequel to "In The Steam".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be still my beating heart
It would be better to be cool
It's not time to be open just yet
A lesson once learned is hard to forget
Be still my beating heart
Or I'll be taken for a fool
It's not healthy to run at this pace
The blood runs so red to my face
I've been to every single book I know
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so
I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
Stop before you start
Be still my beating heart
- Sting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Through The Night
By Jordan
jxp@my-dejanews.com
2:07 a.m.
Unable to sleep, Carol stared at the clock. Her mind was restless, playing the events of
the day over and over in her head. She listened to Doug's quiet, even breathing as he
slept next to her. He reached out his hand and, finding her, rested it on her arm. He'd
done that time and again in his sleep, searching for her each time he moved. She found
this unconscious gesture endearing, a simple act that meant so much. It made her realize
how much she had missed him, how much she had needed him.
Tonight had been...surreal. Aroused so quickly, needing him frantically, wanting him so
completely. She floated from the living room to her bedroom, finally his lips, finally his
touch, finally. Everything had moved in slow motion for her. It felt so right, making love
to him, feeling him close to her again, like they had never been apart. This is what she
had wished for; so why was she so torn?
Turning to look at his face, she sighed; he was so handsome. He looked quiet and peaceful
now, so different from a few hours ago. In the midst of his lovemaking, before he relaxed,
before he realized that he was too strenuous, too deep, his face had looked desperate, as
though he were afraid of losing something, as though she would slip through his fingers.
He'd lost all control, for a time, just as he had years ago in the shower. This roughness
was uncharacteristic, it was not how she remembered him. Afterwards, she'd asked him,
"Doug, what was that about?"
He'd smiled, looking down at her face. "Well, I...I've waited for you for so
long..." his voice trailed off, and he'd kissed her cheek, unable to continue.
Now, watching him sleep, trying to keep her conflicting emotions in check, Carol gently
stroked his hair. "I've waited for you, too," she whispered.
***
2:17 a.m.
Feeling his body so close was both wonderful and unsettling. After they made love, he had
teased her, "Carol, you were awfully quiet tonight..." She laid her head on his
shoulder and sighed, knowing what he meant. In the past, she'd talk to him, urge him
on, end up pleading for one thing or another. Tonight, she was simply overwhelmed by his
passion, by her feelings, her own desire. Afraid if she spoke, the bubble would burst.
***
3:11 a.m.
Doug moved in his sleep, rolling onto his back, pushing the covers off his legs. His body
was illuminated by the street lamp outside. She couldn't believe he was here, in her bed
again. Carol gazed at him, the beauty of him. No other man had ever made her feel this
way. Feeling him so close, the longing grew again. She ran her fingers along his jaw and
he moved slightly. Down to his chest she went, lightly touching, feeling his warmth on her
fingertips. Carol sat up and kissed his neck, then his chest, trailing her hair behind,
stroking his skin. Although he was still sleeping, she saw signs of his arousal, and it
delighted her. Drawing her lips across his stomach, she got closer and closer.
Drowsy eyes smiled at her as he stirred.
"Ummm...."
"Shhhh..." Carol let her hair fall on him, and he moved his hips up to meet her.
Her lips lightly skimming the length of him, making him groan and push closer to her
mouth. Kissing, tongue barely touching, she felt her pulse pounding between her legs.
Twirling her tongue around the swollen head of his penis, she lowered her mouth onto him
and sucked gently, drawing him in and out. She looked up at him and saw that he was
watching her, and this excited her even more; she wanted to feel him again. Leaning over
him, she dragged one nipple, then the other over his hardness, making them wet and stiff.
Wanting to make love, to fill her need, she straddled him. Taking hold of him, she rubbed
against him, feeling him hard against her wetness, moaning softly as the desire swelled
within her. Doug moved upward, trying to enter her. But, no, not yet, she wasn't ready.
Stroking, moving back and forth, trying to relieve the ache inside her, she ran her hands
up her hips, to her belly, over her breasts and pulled on her nipples. Doug, watched her,
transfixed by the vision of her riding him, her hands on her breasts. Finally, desire
overtook him and he reached down, trying to guide himself into her. She shifted her hips,
blocking his entry.
"Carol...I want you...."
"Uh uh."
Breathing hard now, feeling unable to wait, Doug took hold of her hips, trying to pull her
down on him. Flexing her leg muscles, she resisted, still grinding on top of him, not
ready to give up this feeling. Hips rotating, her eyes closed, lips open, her head back,
searching for relief.
She was far, far away, rocking back and forth, holding a breast in one hand, steadying
herself on his thigh with another, still rubbing him between her legs. Then, close to
coming, the need to feel him inside her was overwhelming and she took hold of him.
Centering herself, she slowly eased herself onto him, sinking lower, moaning again at how
completely he filled her. Resisting the urge to thrust quickly and deeply into her,
struggling to be tender from the start, Doug lay back, watching her, letting her pleasure
control them.
His voice was low. "So wet. I love the way you feel. Carol, I love..."
"Shhhh," Carol cut him off, afraid of hearing more. In her own rhythm now, her
leg muscles flexing, moving her body up and down, hips rotating, almost there now, almost,
she began to groan.
"God, Doug, harder, please, I wanna come, please, harder, please."
Doug put his hands around her waist and began thrusting on his own, quickening the pace.
All of her foreplay, her wetness grinding against him, had brought him close to climaxing.
"Carol, I...I'm gonna..."
"No, not yet, please Doug Doug Doug." But he couldn't hold back, the tension
rapidly building, and she felt him explode within her, hearing him grunt again and again
as he pitched forward. Sinking deeper, he pulled her hips down onto him, basking in the
satisfaction of being inside of her, the fulfillment of making love to her. He slowed
down, relaxing.
She was struggling, she was so close, straining to climax, unable to do so. "Doug,
please, don't stop yet, I want to come, make me come."
Doug reached his hand out and probed between her legs. Finding her swollen clit, he gently
stroked it, barely touching it, while he glided in and out of her again. He saw her leg
muscles tighten and knew she was close. "There you go, here you go, c'mon, I wanna
watch you come," his voice soothing, encouraging. The sound of his voice, the feel of
his thumb sent her over the edge, and she felt the thunder within her, rumble at first
then crash, sending her into a storm of sensation. She threw her head back, her curls
tumbling around her shoulders, and then she cried out his name, again and again, moaning
in a frenzy, the strength of her orgasm overwhelming her.
His eyes took in this beautiful sight, Carol wildly shedding all her inhibitions, sharing
her pleasure with him, fascinating him with her seemingly unquenchable desire. He wondered
to himself how he had lived without this woman. He wanted to tell her how he felt, that
she meant everything in the world to him, that he had given himself over to her totally,
completely. He knew, however, he couldn't dare share his feelings now. If he did, she
would retreat into herself. She fell to him and buried her head into his neck. Doug gently
stroked her hair, holding her in his arms, surrounding her with his heart, letting her
quiet down and relax.
***
3:18 a.m.
"Hey," Doug said, his voice hoarse and drowsy again.
"Hey."
Carol snuggled up to him, feeling warm and safe. "It's nice to have you here after
midnight."
Doug held her tightly and pulled the covers up over her. "Well, I don't ever want to
leave."
Carol looked at him, bewildered, unable to believe the words she heard from him. Not the
Doug she'd known. She took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of being close to him,
trying to push the old doubts away.
***
4:41 a.m.
Replaying memories, old movies from long ago, she began to waver. "Be careful what
you ask for," her mother would tell her. Still tossing and turning in bed, she tried
to be quiet so as not to wake him again. She couldn't stop the pictures that were whirring
by in her mind. This was too quick, their being lovers again. Wanting him so desperately,
fearful of the emotional closeness now that he was here. After they had made love again,
Carol sighed, worried about the intensity of her feelings for him. While he held her, Doug
had sensed something was wrong. "What is it, Carol?"
"Nothing, it's just...everything's just happened so fast. I just can't believe you're
here, that we're here."
"Well, I dunno if I'd really describe it as fast. It's been like... three years of
foreplay before tonight, that's got to count for something." Doug smiled at her.
***
5:02 a.m.
There was so much history, Carol thought, so much hurt. This is what she had wanted, now
it was here. Vulnerable again, afraid of loving him again, she was apprehensive.
All the days she'd longed for him, all the nights she'd waited for him. Sometimes he'd
come around, happy and carefree. Sometimes he'd be drunk, smelling of whiskey. Sometimes,
smelling of other women. The times she kicked him out, vowing it would be the last. The
knock at the door at all hours of the night. He'd smile, he'd kiss her, caress her cheek,
and she'd give in, just wanting to be with him again.
Carefully, so as not to wake him, Carol shrugged out of his embrace. "What have I
opened myself up to now?" she thought.
***
6:33 a.m.
"Doug?" Her voice was husky, tired.
"Mmm?"
"What made you come here last night?"
Knowing Carol as he did, not able to share the depths of his feelings, Doug chose his
words carefully. "Hmm. Well, I guess I...I decided...I needed to see if Toby was that
important to you. I wanted to see if...I had a chance."
"Have you been...seeing anyone?"
Doug spoke quietly. "Uh, no. Since that night, that girl, Nadine... since then, well,
I guess I decided to stop...stop settling. No one would measure up."
Carol looked up. "Measure up?"
"To you."
Stunned, Carol turned away, soaking his meaning in. Here he was, speaking words that she
had always dreamed of hearing, but now, she wasn't ready to hear this, any of it. Not
brave enough to move ahead, afraid of falling into the same desperate pattern, terrified
he would hurt her again, she subconsciously began erecting her walls, one insecurity at a
time. Don't push me, don't tell me what I mean to you, don't expect anything from me,
don't hurt me, don't be in love with me. Please, don't make me fall in love with you
again.
***
7:01 a.m.
Carol walked into the bedroom with orange juice for both of them. She looked at him,
smiling. "Hey, Doug, what were you going to do last night, you know, if I'd invited
Toby in?"
Doug took a sip of his juice and looked down, chuckling. "I have no idea." He
looked back up at her, grinning, his eyes full of mischief, he drew her into his arms.
"So, I forgot to ask you, how WAS your date?"
Carol smiled coyly, looking down at him. "It was very nice, thank you. Dinner and
then dancing. He's very charming, you know."
"Oh, really? Well, when you danced, did he...did he hold you in his arms?" His
eyes were warm, teasing.
"Um hmm, he did."
"Is that right?" Doug was grinning. He nuzzled close to her neck. "Did he
get close enough to...smell your perfume?"
"Mmm, yes, I think he did."
Rolling her on her back, he pinned her arms down with his hands and kissed her. His voice
was rich. "And did the charming Dr. Mintz, when he held you in his arms, smelling
your perfume, dancing the night away..." He kissed her neck. "...know that
you're a wicked little girl..." His mouth traveled down to the swell of her breast
and he drew his lips softly over the curve. "...and that all that separated him from
an evening of untamed, passionate lovemaking..." Now close to her nipple, he breathed
on it, slid his lower lip across it, watching it respond. "...was a piece of black
cloth?"
Carol drew a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Carol...did he know all that?" Doug drew his tongue lightly over the wrinkled
nipple. "Did he know that there was nothing underneath that dress but your soft
skin?" She arched her back, moaning, trying to get closer to his mouth. "Did he
know that when you get aroused you make the most luscious noises?" He circled her
nipple with his tongue. "Did he know that the inside of you feels like melted
butter?" He drew her nipple into his mouth, pulling it, tugging on it, drawing it
away from her breast. "Did he know that when you come, your head falls back and your
nipples get hard?"
Carol tried to move closer to him now, trying to free her arms, pushing her breasts in his
face, wanting him to suck harder, to take all of it into his mouth.
"Carol, did he?" A fleeting touch.
"Please...." She was breathless.
"What is it you want?"
"Ummm..." She stretched toward him, anticipating his mouth.
"Not so fast. Can I see you tonight?"
"I want your mouth on me."
"Can I see you tonight?"
"Yes."
"And the next night? And the next?"
"Doug, please...."
"Can I?"
"Yes, now, please..."
"Well, in that case, if you insist..." Letting go of her arms, Doug devoured her
nipples, one after the other, sucking deeply, until Carol opened her legs and pulled him
on top of her.
"Again?" His voice was sweet and warm.
She opened her eyes and smiled. "Are you complaining?"
"No," he said tenderly, as he entered her. "No. I don't ever want to
stop."
***
7:34 a.m.
Doug stepped out of the bathroom after his shower. "Carol?"
"Hmmm?" Carol was still drowsy in bed, not wanting to move.
"I'm going over to Bruegger's to get us some bagels."
"Mmm hmmm."
Doug smiled and leaned over, kissing her cheek. "Be back soon. Try to get some sleep,
we're on 3 to 11."
She heard the door close, and felt alone. Reaching to the other side of the bed, she
pulled his pillow to her and held it tightly.
***
8:58 a.m.
"Hey, Carol, you think Mark'll be surprised?"
Carol looked down at her plate, thinking. "Ah, Doug -- I don't want to tell anybody
at work right now."
Doug looked at her. "Why not?"
Carol looked down. "Well, I'm just not ready for us to go public."
His head tilted slightly, his voice quiet and serious, and she realized he really didn't
understand. "Go public? You mean we hafta act like we're not...?"
"Just for now, Doug, just for a little while. Please. I'm not ready for everyone at
work."
Looking at his troubled face, she knew he was clearly unhappy with her restriction.
"Well, Carol...I...."
"It's what I want."
He sighed, dropping his head. "Okay, if it's what you want."
***
3:10 p.m.
Carol walked behind the admit desk, stashing her purse in a drawer. Chuni saw her and
asked, "Hey, Carol, how was your date with Toby Mintz?"
Doug looked up and grinned at Carol. "Yeah, Carol, what'd you guys do last night?
Dinner and dancing?"
Carol scowled at him, and said, "It was fine, Chuni, I had a very nice time."
"Well, good," said Chuni, "because he called and left a message for you.
Things must be good, huh?"
"He musta liked the dress," Doug chimed in.
"Yeah, it was great. I have a lot of work to do," said Carol, and she picked up
her charts.
"Hey, Dr. Ross, can we sign you up again this year?" asked Chuni.
"Sign me up for what?"
"The Physician's Bachelor Auction. I hear you were the big money-maker last
year."
Carol stopped charting long enough to look up at Doug and then to Chuni.
"I don't know, Chuni...is there, uh, dinner and dancing there?" Doug asked.
I could kill him, Carol thought.
"What do I know, you think I'd go?" answered Chuni.
"Well, what night is the auction?"
"July first."
"Doug, a kid in three with a face lac," said Carol, clearly annoyed.
Doug smiled at Carol. "Okay. Uh...you know, Chuni...I have plans for that night, I'm
gonna have to pass."
"Aw, c'mon," Chuni protested, "Carter came close to beating you last year,
you won't live it down if he wins this year."
"Well, maybe it's time to pass the torch to young Dr. Carter. Carol, can you give me
a hand in three?"
Shaking her head, smiling despite herself, Carol followed him. "Sure, Doug."
Doug chuckled as they walked down the hall. "So, Nurse Hathaway, need a date on July
first?"
Carol smiled at him. "Well, I guess so. As long as it doesn't cost me anything."
"No, no charge. Uh, I might want to see that dress again, though."
"Well, then you'll need to take me out for dinner..."
Doug smiled "No dancing?"
"Dinner's fine. Maybe dancing later, at home."
"At home." Doug smiled. "Sounds good to me."
~~
The end
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