I'll Be

Joey: Oh God, please help me. What do I do now that we’ve crossed that bridge between friendship and love. He’s one of the few good things in my life. I can’t lose him now. When we kissed everything felt so right but now,I don’t know if I’m ready to be more than friends. What am I going to do??’

Joey Potter sat by the pier with her knees drawn up to her chin with tears running down her face. Lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear the approaching footsteps until they stopped right behind her.
Pacey: `You wanna know what I would do??’ Joey jumped and spun around.
Joey: `Pacey!! I didn’t hear you.’
Pacey: `I know. Do you wanna know what I would do?’

He sat down beside her and looked out at the setting sun. Joey sat back down and looked at him.

Joey: `What?’.
Pacey: `Well, I heard you talking and I have a solution to your problem. Take a trip away somewhere, anywhere, for a day and just reevaluate your feelings for him. Do you really love him or are you just scared of losing him to Jen? Are you ready to give your heart to him?’

Joey looked at the sky.
Joey: `I don’t know. Anyway, where would I go?’

Pacey got up and grabbed her hand
Pacey: `Ms. Potter, if you don’t mind I would be happy to take you to my private hideaway where I go almost everyday for peace and quiet. It’s in the woods so no-one but me knows the way. You game??’ with a mischievous grin. Joey smiled.
Joey: `Sure.’

Joey ran to her house and told Bessie she was going on a trip with Pacey and she would be back tomorrow night. After she collected all of her stuff she ran out to Pacey’s car and jumped in.

Pacey: `Ready to roll?’ With a grin they drove off.

Joey sighed. It seemed they had been driving forever except for the quick stop at the store to pick up some food. She glanced over at Pacey who had been very quiet throughout the trip. Just when she was about to break the silence he reached over and turned on the radio.

Pacey: `You don’t mind, do you?? I love this song.’

The song `I’ll be’ was playing and Joey closed her eyes and listened to the words.

I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be the sun in your sky
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
Tell me we belong together....

Joey: `I would melt if a guy dedicated this song to me.It’s so beautiful.’

Pacey looked at the girl sitting next to him and cursed Dawson for not seeing the beauty that lay right in front of him.

Joey: `Pacey, where are we?? All I see is bush.’
Pacey:` hold your horses, we should be here.Yep, there it is.’

As he said that the biggest tree Joey had ever seen came into view. It was so tall that it got lost in the black night and the branches spread out and around the tree like wings in the sky.

Joey: `It’s amazing, Pace.’
Pacey: `Yep. come on let’s go.’

They headed towards the tree and as Joey approached it she saw the faint outline of wood pieces leading up to the top.

Pacey: `I’ll be right behind you,love. I don’t want your death on my hands.’

Joey started climbing up the crudely made steps and soon felt Pacey’s shoulder touching her ankle.

Joey: `I’m not an invalid,Pace. You don’t have to be right behind me.’
Pacey glanced up at her.
Pacey: `Look,I don’t want you to fall and crack your head open on the ground below now keep climbing!’

God she’s beautiful, he thought as she looked down at him. That halter top she’s wearing isn’t helping my imagination either.
Joey: `Well you don’t have to be rude!’(she grumbled)
Just as she was about to reach the top, her foot slipped and she found herself caught in Pacey’s arms.

Joey: `What kind of retarded steps are these, Pace!!’

She caught her breath when she realized the position she was in.Her face was no more than inches away from hers, his arms were around her waist and touching her bare skin and to stop her from falling too far he had put his knee between her legs. For some reason, shivers went down her spine as his fingers moved from her back to her waist.

Joey: `Umm, Pace....’

She squealed with surprise when he picked her up and placed her down on top of the tree. While he hopped up next to her, she took a moment to look around and was rendered speechless. Over time the top of the tree had flattened out creating a flat surface and the branches had wrapped around the top almost like a roof but that wasn’t what fascinated her. Pacey had decorated the place, he had draped black cloth over the branches and had placed candles all over the floor of the tree,in the corner he had a mattress and a thick, deep green blanket that was lying on top. There was a cooler of beer right next to the bed.

Joey: `God Pace.It’s beautiful. When did you get the time to do all this.’

Pacey looked at her and tried to calm himself down to understand the question. He had come close to embarrassing himself on the steps with her soft skin against his body. God I have to stop thinking about her, he thought.

Pacey: `Ahh,I have lots of time with my homelife. Nobody really likes me there so I come here almost every day to escape. In fact this is where I spend most of my days and nights unless I’m with you guys.’

Joey glanced at him as she reached for a beer.

Joey: `Don’t your parents miss you when you spend the night here?’

Pacey laughed.

Pacey: `Even if they did I tell them that I’m spending the weekend at Dawson’s.’

He reached for a beer and sat down. Joey sat and leaned against him.

Joey: `What time is it?’
Pacey looked at his watch.
Pacey: `it’s 1.30.Do you want to be alone so you can think?’
He reached for another beer.
Joey: `Nah,I think I’ll do that tomorrow. Right now I just want to relax .’
She reached for another beer.
Joey: `I’m tired of thinking about him every day.’
Pacey looked at her sad face and wished more than anything he could take the pain away.
Pacey: `I have an idea! Let’s have a chugging contest.’
Joey: `What? Please that not even fair cause I would win.’
Pacey laughed.
Pacey: `Well, let’s find out.’
He picked up another beer.
Joey: `alright, you’re on!’
She reached for another beer.
Joey: `Ok, one two three, CHUG!!!’
They both started chugging their beer meanwhile getting it all over their clothes.

Pacey: `DONE!’.
Joey: `No fair!! Half of it is on your shirt! I demand a rematch!’ They started again this time with Joey as the winner.
Joey: `Hah!! I won!!’
Then they both started rolling on the ground with laughter. Before he realized it he was laying on top of her.
Pacey: ` Oh,sorry.’
He giggled and started to roll off her when she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Joey: `Stop, don’t get off.I kind of like the feel of you on top of me.’
Pacey looked into her chocolate brown eyes.
Pacey: `Don’t Jo, you’ll only regret it in the morning....’

But what was left of his sentence, and reason, was lost the moment her lips touched his.
Maybe just a little while as his hands slid down to her waist. Before he realized what was going on,she had rolled on top of him and had taken off his shirt.

Pacey: `Joey, we really shouldn’t be going this far, we....’

But forgot what he was going to say as she trailed kisses down his chest. Oh that feels good, he thought, not even Tammy made him feel this way. Lost in ecstasy he didn’t realize when she unbuckled his jeans and slid them down to his ankles but by then he didn’t care anymore. He kicked off his jeans and flipped her back over so he was on top of her.As they rolled onto the bed, he hastily yanked off her top and Jean shorts until they were both naked and lost in each others arms.

Pacey woke up with the biggest hangover he had ever had.

Pacey: `Where am I and what’s tickling my arm?’

When he looked down he saw that it was hair...Joey’s hair and she was sleeping in his arms. Then he noticed they were both naked. Oh my God, he thought, what happened?? All he could remember was challenging Joey to a chugging contest. After that it was all a blur. Then the memories cam flooding back in a rush and he remembered everything. The way her kisses heated his blood in the beginning up to the end when she screamed his name in pleasure.

Joey: `Mmmm’
Pacey looked down and saw that Joey had turned over and was still sleeping with a smile on her face.

Joey: ` I love you.’

Then she kissed Pacey and rolled on top of him. Oh God, he thought, if she’s dreaming I can’t let her make love to me again unless she knows it’s me.He was just about to fully wake her when her fingertips softly trailed down to his hip. Maybe just one more time, he thought,I won’t even wake her. He softly turned her over on her back and kissed her softly. As he softly made love to her with the morning light shining through the drapes he vowed that she would never know that this was anymore than a mistake due to alcohol. It would hurt her too much to know he had taken advantage of her the way he did.

Joey slowly woke up from one of the best dreams she had ever had. The morning light was filling the room as she opened her eyes. When she glanced over at the entrance she saw Pacey huddled there with his head down.

Joey: `Pacey I had the best dream awhile ago. You’d like it being the pervert you are.I was making love to this guy but I couldn’t see his face. He was so gentle. Hmm,too bad it was only a dream.’

She started to get up when she realized she was naked.

Joey: `Oh my God!! Pace,where are my clothes?’

When he didn’t say anything she slowly realized what had happened.

Joey: `The dream,it was you wasn’t it.It wasn’t a dream?’

She got up and dragged on her clothes from her bag. She slowly approached him.

Joey: `Pacey?’

As she bent down to see his face she saw his tears.

Pacey: `I’m so sorry,Jo.I didn’t know what I was doing. We were both so drunk I guess things just got carried away. I’m so sorry.’

Then he dissolved in sobs that shook his whole body. Joey held him as he cried.

Joey: `Please don’t cry.It was both our fault. Did you.. Did you use protection?’

Pacey jerked out of her grasp.

Pacey: `Is that all you can think of ?I took your virginity!! Something I’m sure you were waiting to give to Dawson, something that was very precious to you!!! But if you must know,yes. When I woke up this morning I found it in the trash.

Joey: `For your information,I didn’t really care one way or the other about my virginity. True it would have been wonderful if I had given it to Dawson but I didn’t and I can’t change that.Well, at least I know I won’t get pregnant. What were you doing with a condom in your pocket anyway??’

Pacey glanced at her.

Pacey: `I was going clubbing before I offered you an adventure for two.I guess I was hoping I would get lucky.’

He grinned. They were both silent as they thought about the situation.

Joey: `Pace?’
Pacey: `Yeah?’
Joey: `Were you really that gentle with me when we had sex or was that just part of my dream bonus?’

He looked at her a moment then bent down to look into her eyes.

Pacey: `I told you I would never hurt you and I didn’t have sex with you. I made love to you,I thought you would know the difference.’

He got up and started down the ladder.

Joey: `Pace, wait.I didn’t mean it like that.’

But he was already on the ground by the time she looked over the ledge. She watched him walk off into the woods. After she sat there for awhile she decided to go walking and clear her thoughts. I had no idea Pacey felt that way about me,she thought, and this made her decision even harder. She never knew Pacey could be that gentle and last night when she slipped on the ladder, she got shivers. She never felt like that before. Pacey was always the nimrod that bothered her every day but lately he had been a very good friend to her. Then there was Dawson, she still loved him but she was wondering if Pacey hadn’t been right in saying she was scared of losing their relationship. Joey was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize where she was going. When she looked up she realized that she had come to a little lake.Great, she thought,I knew there was a good reason why I brought my bathing suit.As she stripped down to her bikini she thought that the swim would clear her mind as well.

Pacey had just reached the lake when he saw Joey floating in the water. He sat and watched her for awhile where she couldn’t see him. He had lost her. He realized that now. There would always be that awkwardness between them now that he told her how he felt about her. He watched her as she swam to shore and thought she looked like an angel with the sun shining on her.It made the waterdrops look like pearls on her skin and made her face glow. Why did she have to be so beautiful? he thought.As he got up to leave he stepped on a twig and it snapped. Joey glanced up sharply,

Joey: `Pacey, I know you’re there.’
Pacey stepped out into view.
Pacey: `We should be going.’
Joey: `Pacey wait. We need to talk.’
Pacey: `Not now,Jo. You need time to think. Come on I’ll take you back home.’

With that he walked away and headed to the car. Joey quickly put on her clothes and followed him. After they had collected her bag from the room, they started out on the journey home.

Joey had never been more miserable. The trip back was the longest one she had ever had,and when she got out of the car Pacey had driven off without even saying goodbye. Now she was sitting in her room trying to make the hardest decision she had ever made. Suddenly knew what she had to do ,she got up and headed over to the all familiar ladder that led to Dawson’s window. As she climbed inside she heard Dawson behind her.

Dawson: `Umm, hey Joey.Wazup?’

She walked over to him, grabbed him and kissed him with all the energy she had. Stunned for a minute Dawson didn’t know what to do so he kissed back. She finally pulled away.

Dawson: `What was that for?’ Joey: `I was trying to see if I felt anything when we kissed but I did!’

Dawson(confused): `Is that a bad thing?’

Joey sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands.

Joey: `I need to make a choice, Dawson.I can’t keep loving you if I can get someone who will love me back.’

Dawson walked over to the bed.

Dawson: `Have you found someone,Joey? Look,I ..I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship right now. God, I love you Jo ,you’re my best friend and you’ll always be a part of me...’

He stopped when he saw that she was smiling.

Joey: `I am so happy you said that. This makes my decision easy!’

She jumped up and headed for the window.

Dawson: `Jo?It’s Pacey, isn’t it?’

Joey(stunned): `how did you know?’

Dawson: `Because I saw him awhile ago and he chewed me out for being blind not to see the beautiful woman right in front of me.He said if I didn’t really love you I should tell you and stop leading you on.’

Joey smiled.
Joey: `he said I was beautiful??’

Dawson: `Go get him, Jo.’

As he watched her run across the lawn he wondered if he should tell her how he really felt about her.Nah, he thought, Pacey needs her love more than I do.Besides, he grinned, who knows what could happen in a couple months.

Joey ran as fast as her feet could carry her. When she got to his house she found out that he wasn’t there.On her way out she saw Doug.

Joey: `Hey do you know where Pacey is?’

Doug: `who, that excuse for a man??He said he was going for a walk and wouldn’t be back until late because he was going to the dance tonight.’

Of course, she thought, the school dance was tonight. She had to find something to wear if he was going to be there.

Joey: `Thanks, Doug. Oh,and by the way, don’t you EVER call Pacey that again. He is sweeter and kinder and more of a man than you will ever know.’

As she walked off Doug laughed under his breath.
Doug: `Well Pace.It looks like you got yourself a very defensive girl.’

As Joey got ready for the dance with Bessie’s help she kept wondering, would he be mad at her, would he smile that seductive smile of his and give her another chance. What would she say when she saw him??

Bessie: `Calm down,Joey, I’ll never get this lipstick right if you keep bouncing up and down.’

Joey took a deep breath.

Joey: `Sorry, Bessie.’
Bessie: `Finished! That’s a great dress,Joey. You look great in it.’
Joey smiled.
Joey: `Thanx.’
She looked down at the dress that had cost her most of her paycheck for the next two weeks.It was a soft blue dress that had straps that crossed in the back and created a v-neck in the front.It barely touched her knees, she had loved it the moment she tried it on in the store. Just then she heard the beep of Dawson’s car and ran outside.

Bessie: `Now don’t be too late!!’
Joey: `I won’t!!

When Dawson was on his way to the dance she started to take deep breaths. God, please let him forgive me.

Dawson: `You look great Jo,’
They pulled into the parking lot in front of the auditorium.
Joey:` Thanx,you don’t look so bad yourself.’

As he took her hand, she laughed and realized that this was going to be a night she never forgot.

Pacey saw her as soon as she walked in the door. She was laughing at something Dawson had said and was holding his hand.Well, he thought,I guess she made her choice but that doesn’t mean I can’t still try and salvage what’s left of our friendship. He got up and headed over to the DJ.

Joey saw him as he walked over to the DJ and whispered something in his ear. God he looked great tonight, she thought, he was wearing a blue silk shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar and he had a black jacket and pants to go with it.

Dawson: `Joey did you hear what I said?’

She ripped her eyes away from him to look at Dawson.

Joey: `What?I didn’t hear you. I’m sorry.’

Dawson looked over to where she had been looking.

Dawson: `Sweetie, I’m going to get us some drinks. I’ll be right back.’

Before she could reply he was gone. She was about to go after him when the DJ started playing the next song.

I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be the sun in your sky.....

Pacey: `Excuse me,miss. Would you care to dance?’

When she turned around she saw that mischievous grin and knew her wish had come true.

Pacey: `Look Joey,I can see you’ve made your choice and I will just have to live with it but I just want you to know that I will always be here for you if you need me. And also...’

Joey placed her fingers over his mouth.

Joey: `Shh. Don’t say anything more,silly. I choose you.’

Before he could say anything she kissed him softly. Pacey was so happy he wrapped his arms around her tightly as the kiss deepened.She had picked him, Pacey Whitter, the failure!!! It was too good to be true. When she finally pulled away, she smiled.

Joey: `It was you from the moment we made love,I just didn’t know it.’

Pacey laughed.
Pacey: `Well,I knew I was good at something I just didn’t know I needed your help to find out.’

She laughed and he thought it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. As the song finished, he realized that they were right by the exit door.

Pacey: `Hey, let’s get out of here.’

Joey grinned and nodded her head. When they had been driving for awhile Joey glanced over at him and grinned wickedly.

Joey: `Pacey, wanna play a game?’

Pacey glanced over at her.

Pacey: `Sure what kind of game?’

Joey slid over next to him.

Joey: `It’s a game that tests your concentration.’
Pacey: `How.. How do you play it?
Joey smiled.
Joey: `I thought you’d never ask.’

Then she leaned over and kissed his ear.

Joey: `Good, you didn’t swerve.’

Then she unbuttoned his shirt and ran her fingers over his chest.

Pacey: `Jesus Jo.’
She grinned.
Joey: `uhh,uhh. Stay on the road,’

As he swerved hard to the left, she started kissing his neck and slowly began to work her way down.

Pacey: `Josephine Potter, you’re going to kill me before we even reach our destination.’

As her tongue flicked back up to his neck she started to unzip his pants. Pacey stopped the car and pushed her all the way to the other side of the car.

Pacey: `Ok, thatz enough games for now.’
Joey sat back with a pout.
Joey: `Partypooper.’

As he started back on the road, he wondered how he had gotten so lucky as to have someone as wonderful as Joey.I guess love really is blind, he thought with a grin.As he pulled up to the tree they knew so well Joey smiled.

Joey: `You brought me back.’
Pacey grinned.
Pacey: `I figure we might as well since this is where it all started.’
He hopped out and led her up the ladder.
Joey: `Now can we finish the game?’
Pacey: `We can play it all night long if you like.’

She laughed as they fell on the mattress. As her dress fell to the floor and he kissed her softly, she knew she had made the right decision.

When she woke up she realized that Pacey was staring at her.She smiled and realised that it was still dark outside.

Joey: Hey you.
Pacey: Hey beautiful.
Joey: Why are you staring at me?
Pacey: I’m trying to imagine how I got so lucky to have someone like you.

Joey stared at him closer.He had a strange tone in his voice and he seemed quiet.

Joey: Pace,what’s wrong?

Pacey looked at her and hugged her close to him.

(whispering)Pacey: you’re the best thing that happened to me Josephine.Please don’t ever leave me.I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t in my life.

Joey was deeply touched by his sudden burst of emotion and tried to add a little humor.

Joey: Come on,Pace.You know I hate when you call me Josephine.
Pacey: It’s a beautiful name and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

Joey smiled as she rolled on top of him.

Joey: Well,you are the only person I am going to allow call me that.Look,Pace I really don’t feel like talking about this.Actually,I’m kind of hungry.
Pacey: Really?What for??
Joey: You.

It was hours later before they woke again.When Joey finally woke up she saw the light filtering in through the drapes.Ahh,she thought,this is great.

Joey: Shit!!!I was supposed to be home hours ago!!!

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