ER: Doug and Carol Series

Story #16

Tell The Truth

by: Courtney

Doug Ross comes into Cook County General’s ER, covered in snow. It is a brutally cold late January day and Chicago is in the middle of yet another snow storm. Doug brushes the snow from his shoulders. He pulls down the hood of his heavy winter coat and unzips the front, then pulls off his brown leather gloves as he makes his way towards the nurses station.

“Still coming down pretty hard out there?” Chunny asks when she sees him approach.

“Yeah, looks like we’re in for another six inches at least,” he replies. “Have you seen Carol lately?”

“Yeah, she’s in the bathroom. She’s been in and out of there all morning. She’s not getting sick again I hope?”

“I’m sure she’s fine, thanks Chunny,” he smiles and turns towards the locker room. He puts his coat and gloves into his locker and gets into his scrubs. When he emerges from the locker room, Carol is just coming out of the nearby ladies room.

“Hey,” he says, walking up to her and kissing her lips softly. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“I’m alright,” Carol tells him.

“Chunny said you’d been in the bathroom all morning. Is the nausea coming back?” Doug places his hand between Carol’s shoulder blades and moves it in a slow circular motion.

“No, everything’s fine,” she smiles. “I just have to pee every five minutes it seems.”

Doug smiles and laughs a little, “Oh, I see. You think they know what’s going on?” he asks, indicating the other nurses who are out of earshot at the moment.

“No, they might suspect but no one has really said anything. They know the signs, though. I won’t be able to hide it much longer.”

Doug nods. “Do you have a minute for a quick break? I’m not on for another twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, just give me a second, okay?” She smiles and he nods then heads off to wait for her in the lounge.

Carol appears in the lounge a few minutes later. Doug rises from his seat on the couch as she enters. He directs her into the seat next to him and they both sit. “So,” he begins, “how is everything going today?”

“It’s fine. I’ve really felt a lot better these past couple of days. I haven’t been nauseous or anything.”

“That’s good,” Doug says and leans forward. He gently turns Carol away from him and begins rubbing her neck and shoulders.

“That feels so good,” she says.

“You seem pretty tense,” Doug comments. “Anything bothering you?”

“I guess I’ve just been a little worried,” Carol tells him.

“About what? You heard Dr. Mitchell yesterday, everything is perfectly normal. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

“That’s not it,” Carol tells him. “I know everything is okay with the baby. It’s my mother I’m worried about. The longer I wait to tell her, the harder it seems to face it. Sooner or later she has to be told that I’m pregnant,” Carol turns to face Doug and her face is filled with worry.

“It’ll be alright,” he puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close to him, leaning back on the couch to hold her tightly. “Carol, your mother loves you. She may try to tell you how to live your life and butt in a lot, but the bottom line is she wants you to be happy. When it all comes down to it, Helen will be happy because you are happy. She’ll be upset at first, but eventually she’ll just have to accept it.”

“I hope you right,” Carol says.

“Of course I am,” Doug grins and kisses Carol’s forehead. “I know it will work out fine.”

Carol enters the house and calls up the stairs, “I’m home!”

Charlie pops her head out of the door to her room and peers down the staircase. “Hey, I’ll be right down.”

Carol goes into the kitchen and gets herself a glass of water. She sits at the table in silence. As she looks about the room, a box in the corner catches her eye. It’s under a stack of old newspapers that are headed for the trash. She knows what this box is and gets up to retrieve it from the garbage pile. She looks carefully at this package, the one Ray sent to Doug on Christmas morning. He still hasn’t opened it and apparently he has no intention of doing so. She decides to keep it, in case Doug changes his mind. She carries the box over to the china cabinet and places it inside the cabinet at the bottom.

She is just sitting back down at the table when Charlie appears. “Hey,” Charlie says. “How was your day?”

“Tiring,” Carol tells her with a sigh. “How about yours?”

“Okay. I started a new project in art today. We’re doing coil pots.”

“Sounds interesting. You really are getting into this art thing, huh?”

“Yeah, I like it,” Charlie says as she reaches into the refrigerator and grabs a soda.

“Doug and I were talking the other day and we thought maybe you’d like to take some art classes outside of school. I mean, if you like it that much, it might be fun,” Carol suggests.

“Yeah, I’d love that,” Charlie’s face lights up. “But, what about the hospital? I’ve been volunteering four and five days a week there.”

“They’ll understand. You can cut back to two or three days and sign up for a class one night a week. I’ll talk to Doug about it again and tell him your interested in it.”

“Cool,” Charlie says with a smile. She sits at the table. Carol seems very distant, like something is on her mind. “Anything wrong?” Charlie inquires.

“Kind of, I don’t know,” Carol says. “I’ve been trying to get up the nerve to talk to my mom about the baby. I’m off tomorrow and I thought I might go down for a visit and break the news, but I’m not sure how to do it.”

Charlie sighs, “You just have to come right out with it, I guess. There’s no way around it, really. Just say, ‘Mom, I’m pregnant’. What’s she going to do? She can’t change it.”

“She’ll sure try though,” Carol smirks. “You know how she feels about Doug. And she still thinks in the back of her mind that I will eventually ‘come to my senses’ and find someone she deems worthy. I know she’s going to flip out when I tell her this,” Carol’s shoulders slump.

“The longer you wait the harder it will be. She’ll be more upset if she finds out later and knows how long you’ve been hiding it from her. Just get it over with, you’ll feel better once she knows,” Charlie says.

Carol turns to her, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She grins, “How’d you get so smart anyway?”

“Practice,” Charlie says, then bursts into giggles. Carol laughs, too.

She knocks on the door and waits. The seconds seem like hours as she waits for a response. She shuffles her feet in the slushy snow that has collected on the front stoop and cracks her knuckles nervously. Finally, after a moment, Helen Hathaway appears at the door. “Carol! What a surprise,” she stands aside and allows her daughter to enter. Helen looks out after Carol has entered. “All alone?” Helen asks.

“Yeah, just me,” Carol tells her.

Helen seems pleased. “Good, we don’t get enough time to talk alone. So, to what do I owe this visit?”

“Um, well,” she sits uncomfortably on the sofa. Helen sees that her daughter has something on her mind. She sits in the high backed chair across from Carol and eyes her carefully. “There’s something we need to talk about,” Carol says, the uneasiness prominent in her voice.

“What is it? Is something wrong? Is this about you and Dr. Ross?”

“No,” Carol rolls her eyes and her tone becomes defensive. “Why is it that the first thing you always suspect is that Doug and I are having problems?”

“I’m sorry dear, I just . . .,” Helen begins another of her speeches on why Doug is not good enough for her daughter, but Carol sees where this is leading and cuts her off.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. I have something important to tell you and this isn’t the time for us to get into your problems with Doug.”

Helen looks rather surprised at Carol’s abrupt attitude and tone with her, but she stops anyway. “Alright, Carol, go on,” she says.

“Mom, I know you don’t approve of my relationship with Doug, but there is nothing I can do to change that. I love him and he loves me and that’s all I can really let myself care about. I want you to see him for the person he is now, for the man who loves me more than his own life. If I had one wish it would be for you to see who he really is and how much I need him. But, I know you don’t see that and I don’t know how to change your mind so I am going to stop trying,” Carol is looking at her hands as she speaks. Helen listens, for once, without butting in. She is trying to determine where this conversation is headed. She will soon find out.

“I came here today because . . . because . . .,” Carol searches for the strength to break this news to her mother as Helen has her eyes glued to Carol, wondering what is going on. “Mom,” she finally says, “I’m pregnant.”

Helen sits there, stunned, for a moment. Carol holds her breath as she awaits her mother’s reaction to her announcement. “What am I supposed to say?” Helen asks. “Do you expect me to be happy?” Her face still registers a look of shock.

“Well, yes, that’s exactly what I expect. *Can’t* you be happy for me?” Carol asks.

“I don’t know how you can come here, tell me you are going to have a child with Doug Ross, and expect me to be happy,” Helen says. “I just can’t do that, Carol. Not when I know that he is so wrong for you. I hate to see what you are turning your life into,” Helen’s words are cold as she shakes her head and looks disapprovingly at Carol.

Hearing this, Carol feels her anger boiling up. “How can you say that?” she says her voice rising. She gets up from the couch and begins to pace the floor. “How can you sit there and tell me something like that? Why can’t you just accept that this is my life?

"MY life! I love Doug! I am going to have his child and if you don’t like that and you can’t be happy for me, maybe I was wrong in even coming here.” Carol is becoming more and more enraged as she thinks about her mother’s words. “Forget it,” she yells, grabbing her coat. “I am not putting up with this anymore. If you want to work this out, you know where to find me. Otherwise, don’t bother!” she walks angrily across the room and storms out of the door, leaving Helen behind in the house in the strained silence.

Doug comes home from the hospital at around 4pm. Charlie is still there. Her shift isn’t over until seven that night so he thought he’d come home and be alone with Carol for a few hours before he went back to pick up Charlie. He walks in and looks around the house, but sees no sign of Carol. He knows she’s been pretty tired lately. It’s perfectly normal for her to have less energy during the first trimester of pregnancy. He figures she's taking a nap so he goes upstairs to check on her.

Opening the bedroom door, Doug sees Carol. She is sitting cross legged on the bed, her head in her hands. He rushes over, “What’s wrong?” His voice is filled with concern. He sits beside her and wraps her in his arms. “Carol, what is it?” he asks.

She looks up. Her face is streaked with tears. “I went to see my mother,” she tells him and fresh tears spill down her puffy cheeks.

“It went that well, huh?” he smiles sadly and strokes her hair as she begins to cry harder. “Hey,” he says, “don’t worry, she’ll come around. Just give her some time.”

“I don’t think so, Doug. You didn’t see her today. You didn’t hear the things she said to me when I told her about the baby. She didn’t have one nice thing to say to me. She couldn’t congratulate me and give me a hug. All she could do was tell me how awful this was and what a huge mistake I was making,” Carol succumbs again to her sobbing.

“Did you really expect her to be happy?” he asks. “She’s got to be pretty shocked by all this. We were shocked ourselves. Let this sink in a little, give her a while to get used to the idea. Things will be alright.” He hugs her tight and she shakes with sobs. He tries his best to comfort her, but he knows how hard this must be for her. Despite the way Helen tries to run her life and tell her what to do, Carol loves her mother. She wants and needs for Helen to approve of her. Walking out on her today was probably the toughest thing Carol has ever had to do.

Doug holds Carol for a long time as she cries. When he has managed to calm her down a little, he goes into the bathroom and gets a warm washcloth and wipes her tearstained cheeks. He sits back down with her and holds her in his arms once again. Her gently caresses her arms with his hands. “Do you feel any better?” he asks quietly.

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I have no idea what to do.”

“Just give it time. Helen is going to come around, I’m sure of it. As much as she dislikes me, she loves you ten times as much and she won’t let anything, even her pride, take you from her.”

Carol sniffles and nods, hoping Doug is right. She lays her head on his chest and says, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just sorry things didn’t go better for you today. I don’t want you to get yourself too upset about this, though. It’s not good for you,” he reminds her.

“I know, I just . . .,” tears flood her eyes again.

“Hey now, it’s okay,” his arms tighten around her and he rocks her gently. “I love you more than anything, you know that. I’m never going to leave you and someday Helen is going to realize that, too. Until she does, we just have to be patient.”

Carol pulls herself from his chest and looks up at him. She smiles through her tears, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he grins and kisses her. “You know what I was thinking today?” he asks.

“What?” she wonders.

“You remember how Dr. Mitchell said the baby could hear things outside and that we should talk to him and sing and stuff. Well, I think we should start doing that. We want our little one to know us when he gets here. We need to start getting acquainted,” he smiles at Carol.

“Yeah, I like that idea.” He knew she would. She turns back to him, “But, how can you be so sure it’s a he? Might be a girl, you know,” she grins.

“Well, I guy can hope, right? Seriously, I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy. Either way, I’ll be just as happy.” He smiles at Carol and she lays back against the pillow beside him, his arm around her shoulders. “What’s a good song?” Doug asks her.

She thinks a moment, then says, “How about ‘Hush Little Baby’?”

Doug smiles, “I like that.” He places his hand on Carol’s stomach and leans down closer to her. He begins to sing in a soft, melodic voice: “Hush little baby don’t say a word, Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird . . .” He continues the song and Carol watches and listens, her eyes filled with love for this man. She thinks back on all of the rough times in their relationship. There were quite a few times along the way when she wondered if they would ever make it. ‘Well,’ she thinks, ‘here we are.’ All she can think now is that it has all been worth it.

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Created by Courtney Stovall © 1998

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