ER: Doug and Carol Series

Story #33

Calm Before The Storm

by: Courtney

Doug walks into the house at 7:30 on Friday night. It's January 8th and he and Carol are finally getting to spend some time together. For the past two weeks, they've had such opposite schedules it's like they barely see each other. This in itself explains why Doug, who got off work at 7:15, is already coming in the house just fifteen minutes later.

"Carol, I'm home," he calls as he hangs his coat in the hall closet. He gets no answer but he can smell whatever it is she's been cooking wafting through the house. He follows the scent into the kitchen, expecting to find her there. Instead, he finds a sink full of dishes and no sign of Carol or dinner. 'Where could she be?' he wonders.

Wandering around the downstairs, he calls her name in every room but no one responds. He's beginning to get worried when he spots the note on the banister of the staircase. His name is written across the front of the note in Carol's familiar handwriting. He unfolds the paper and sees the words, "Upstairs! I'll be waiting! Love, Carol." Doug grins, tucks the paper into his pocket and climbs the stairs quickly.

"Carol?" he calls through the door.

"Come in," he hears from the opposite side of the door. He enters to find the room aglow from the light of no less than 20 candles. The sheets have been pulled back on the bed and there are several trays of food on a table nearby. Carol has prepared lobster, oysters, what looks like a spinach quiche and an enormous plate of chocolate covered strawberries. Doug can't believe she has gone to all this trouble. But, where is she? He expected to find her in the bedroom but she's no where in sight. "Carol?" he calls.

"Sit down on the bed and close your eyes," he hears from just beyond the bathroom door. He smiles and obeys. She walks out, sits beside him on the bed and says, "Okay, open them." He does. He sees Carol sitting beside him in a long, white satin nightgown with her hair pulled up.

Doug smiles slightly and reaches up to remove the clip from Carol's hair. Her soft, black curls cascade around her face. He leans in to kiss her gently.

"Aren't you hungry? We could eat first," she says.

"No, that'll wait," he replies as he kisses her again.

"You're the doctor," she says with a grin and they fall back onto the bed in a passionate embrace.

It's 9 o'clock when Charlie and Michelle come out of the movie theatre. Josh is working tonight, as is Michelle's boyfriend, Jeremy, so the girls have decided to go out together. They saw some new action-adventure movie that Josh had recommended and both were a little disappointed. "It just wasn't my kind of movie," Michelle said as they walk to the car. "We should have seen the romantic comedy."

"Yeah, but I kind of got the feeling when I mentioned it that Josh wanted me to wait and see that with him," Charlie replies.

"Is it just me, or is it weird he'd rather see a romance movie with you than a James Bond flick?" Michelle says with a grin.

"I think it's sweet," Charlie says as she opens the door and gets in Michelle's car. "He's very romantic."

"Oh, right. He just likes to take you to those movies because you snuggle up close to him in the theatre," she laughs.

Charlie blushes, "Well, maybe so . . ."

"It is sweet, though," Michelle says. "You guys are such a perfect couple. I knew from the very beginning that you would be." She's driving down the street now, headed towards home.

"I guess you did have a hand in us getting together," Charlie admits. "I owe you one," she smiles.

"No problem," Michelle says. "That's what friends are for."

Charlie smiles back and they ride along, listening to the radio and both begin to sing along. When Michelle gets to the point where she has to either turn towards Charlie's house or continue on to her own, she asks, "Why don't you stay over tonight? We never get a chance to talk since you started dating Josh. Between him, school, art classes, volunteering at the hospital, and everything else, I barely see you unless we pass in the hallway once in a while."

"Sure, I just need to make sure it's okay with Doug and Carol."

"Should we stop by your house?" Michelle asks.

"No, Carol had something planned tonight. I think we might be interrupting, if you know what I mean," she and Michelle grin at one another and begin to giggle.

"Is it their anniversary or something?"

"No, Carol just said she had some 'quality time' to spend with Doug. I took that to mean I needed to make other plans for the evening."

"Well, do you think you should just call then?"

Charlie looks at her watch and sees that it's just after 9pm. "I'll wait till we get to your house and call. I can just leave a message if they don't answer. I'm *sure* I won't be missed tonight," she grins. Michelle laughs and continues to drive towards her house.

By 10 o'clock, Doug and Carol are lying together in bed, both blissfully exhausted. Doug has his arms wrapped tightly around her and her head is resting on his chest. She kisses his bare chest. "I love you," she says.

"I love you, too," he says, reaching down to tilt her head up so he can give her a long kiss.

She sighs happily and snuggles back down against him. "Should we call Charlie back?" she asks.

"Huh?" he doesn't seem to know what she's talking about.

"Charlie . . . she called . . . while . . . well, you know. Didn't you hear the machine pick up?" she questions.

"Truthfully, no," he replies. "I had other things on my mind," he grins.

She grins back and kisses him again. "Well, she said she'd be staying over at Michelle's I think. I only caught part of what she said. I guess I should call over and make sure everything is okay." She starts to get up, but Doug stops her, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

"Not just yet. I want to stay here with you a few more minutes. I'm sort of enjoying just lying here with you in my arms," he tells her.

"Me too," she says. "I could stay like this forever. It's strange to hear you say that, though." She looks up at him and grins. "Who would have ever thought Dr. Douglas Ross would be satisfied to lie in bed with a woman and 'snuggle'," she laughs and smiles playfully at him.

Doug looks back at her, smiling softly, and says, "You're quite a woman Nurse Hathaway. Quite a woman . . ."

She stops giggling and her eyes soften, looking up at him lovingly. "I've never felt this way before," she says sincerely.

"I'll never feel this way about anyone but you," he says. The love in his eyes is so clear it brings tears to her eyes. She lays her head back on his chest and clings to him as he strokes her hair and holds her close.

Charlie hangs up the phone and grins at Michelle. "What?" Michelle asks.

"They said it's fine for me to stay," she says.

"What else did they say?" asks Michelle, sensing there's more.

"Nothing, I could just tell Carol was none too anxious for me to get home. I think they are having quite an evening," she laughs. Michelle laughs as well.

"Who would have thought," Michelle says.

"Yeah . . . So, what are we going to do?" Charlie asks.

"I don't know. I figured we could just catch up on things," Michelle says.

"Did you have anything in particular in mind?"

"Not really . . ." she trails off.

"Michelle, come on. This is me, Charlie, remember? Something's been bugging you lately. Even Josh asked me the other day if you were okay. What's going on?"

Michelle looks down, not wanting to meet Charlie's gaze. She gets up and walks over to the window in her room and stares out at the blackness of the night. Charlie follows and puts a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You can tell me anything," she says.

"I know . . .but, it's really nothing." She turns back and smiles at Charlie. Charlie can see, though, that it's a forced smile. Still, she decides to let it drop, figuring whatever is bugging Michelle is her own business. If she wants someone to confide in she'll have someone but Charlie can't force anything out of her.

"Well, catch me up. What's been going on?"

"Not much really. Just school and stuff. Mom has me crazy about this college stuff. She brings in applications *every* day! I'm ready to scream sometimes!"

"You're already filling out college applications?" Charlie asks. "I haven't really even thought about which schools I'd want to go to yet. I haven't even taken the SATs yet."

"Well, you know my mom," Michelle rolls her eyes. "You're so lucky to have Doug and Carol. They're great. I wish my parents were like them."

"They are pretty cool. I guess I'm lucky I found them . . ."

"Yeah . . . I guess you paid enough dues over the years to deserve great parents though. Things used to be pretty rough for you, huh?" Michelle asks.

Charlie looks at her friend a moment, then says, "Yeah, they used to be . . ."

"Last time we really talked you said you were going to tell Josh about your past. Did you ever get up the nerve?"

"Yeah, I did," Charlie smiles. "I didn't tell him everything, but it's a good start. He knows a lot more than I ever expected to tell him . . . and he still says he loves me."

"Of course he does," Michelle says. "Did you expect that to change anything?"

"I didn't really know what to expect," Charlie admits.

"Well, Josh is a good guy. And he cares a lot about you. I've known him a long time. Believe me when I say you can trust him."

Charlie smiles, "I know that . . . now. I guess it's hard to keep from being cautious though. I've spent most of my life trusting no one but myself. Letting people in is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Are you glad you have?"

"More than I ever imagined I could be," she says.

"I'm glad," Michelle says. "So, what was it you didn't tell Josh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said he knew almost everything. Was there something you still felt you couldn't tell him?"

"Well . . . yeah . . ." Charlie sounds very hesitant about getting into this conversation.

"I'm sorry," Michelle says. "This is none of my business. I shouldn't have asked you that."

"No, that's okay," Charlie answers. "It's just . . . it's hard. It's not something I've told a lot of people."

"Oh, I shouldn't be so nosy. It's personal. If you wanted me to know, you would have told me."

"Actually, the reason I never told you was . . . well, I was afraid of what you'd think of me."

"Charlie, I'd never let something in the past come between us now. You know you can tell me anything. But don't tell me unless you want to. I only want to know if you think it'll help you to tell someone else."

"Actually, I think it might," she says. They are now sitting beside one another on the bed and Charlie is staring at her hands, trying to decide how to start this conversation. Michelle puts her hand on her friend's shoulder, urging her to continue.

Charlie finally begins, "I was . . . that is, I used to be . . . well, you remember I told you about that guy Tommy, right?" Michelle nods. "Well, I told you that I used to do drugs when I hung out with him . . . and, well, he was a dealer. When you hang out with those kind of people . . . it's just hard not to get caught up in that lifestyle. You end up doing things you don't want to do . . . Most times you don't get much of a choice. I know that it was my choice to stay with Tommy, so I won't blame anyone but myself, but . . ." she stops, biting her bottom lip and looking away.

"It's okay," Michelle assures her.

"Tommy wasn't just my dealer, or my boyfriend, or some jerk who used to beat me up. He was . . . he was my pimp, Michelle. I was a prostitute," she covers her face with her hands and begins to sob.

Michelle sits there for a moment in shock, then she moves quickly to sit beside Charlie and wrap her arms around her. "It's okay," she soothes. "You did what you had to. I can't even imagine what it was like for you back then. I couldn't possibly judge you."

Charlie stops crying and looks at Michelle, "You don't think less of me now?"

"No, of course not. You're still my best friend. That's the only thing I care about," she smiles. "I'm sorry for everything you've been through, though," she adds sadly.

Charlie nods and wipes her tears away. Michelle hands her a tissue. "Thanks," she smiles at her friend. She takes a deep breath, then asks Michelle, "What do you think Josh would say? Do you think it would change things if I told him about that?"

"I . . . I honestly don't know. I mean, Josh is a great guy and I don't know many guys who are as understanding and sweet as he is, but . . . well, he's still just 17 years old. It's hard to say how he'd react to this. I wish I could tell you to be completely honest and that things would work out. Unfortunately, I just don't think there's any way to know whether they really will."

Charlie nods sadly. She knew all of this. That's why she still hasn't told Josh about this part of her past. She looks at Michelle and says, "It's just hard, you know? I hate lying to him. I really care about Josh . . ."

"Do you love him?" she asks.

"I . . . I don't know. I guess I . . . well, I care about him a lot and I feel like I could be falling in love with him. I just don't think I could ever consider it real love until I felt like I could tell him anything. I guess I just don't feel that way yet."

Michelle nods, "I understand completely. I wonder sometimes if I even know what love is. I feel like Jeremy is the perfect guy right now but I'm not sure I can still see myself with him in five years. Things change, people change."

"Yeah," Charlie says, "but true love never changes. I think, when you find the right person, the one you know is 'the one' without a doubt, that nothing ever changes that. I mean, look at Doug and Carol. They are so perfect for one another. Can you picture either of them with anyone else?" Charlie smiles at this. "I guess that's what I'm looking for, the kind of love they have. Maybe I'm setting my sights too high?"

"Maybe," Michelle says, "but I think a love like that is worth waiting for, even if you have to wait a lifetime."

Charlie smiles, "Yeah, yeah I guess it is."

"Here, let me help," Doug says as he takes a plate from Carol's hand. They are in the kitchen, standing in front of the sink. It's after midnight and they have just finished having a very late dinner. Carol decided to go ahead and get the dishes done so they'd be out of the way. She scoots over to give Doug some room and he dries while she washes.

"This was a great evening," he says as he puts a plate into the cabinet beside him.

"Yeah, it really was. I'm glad we got to spend this time together," she grins.

"And I can't believe you spent so much time planning everything. You really made everything perfect," he says with a smile and leans over to kiss her gently.

"Umm . . . I love you," she sighs. "But we better get back to work before we get distracted. And, I think we both know how easily distracted you are," she says with a sly grin. He laughs and they continue with their chores in silence, happy to be together.

About an hour later, Doug and Carol are lying together on the couch. They're watching an old movie on television. "Doug, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about," she says suddenly.

"What's that?" he asks, looking down at her.

She reaches for the remote control and switches off the television, then sits up to face him. "Well, you know how we were talking before about how we wanted to wait for the right time to have another child?" He nods. "I think it's the right time," she says.

"Carol, are you saying . . ." he is more than a little surprised.

"No, no, I'm not pregnant. I just really want to be. Doug, I want to have another baby. I want to have your child, our child. More than anything in this world, I want to be a mom."

Doug can see she is very serious about this. "Carol, I . . . don't you think it's a little soon? I mean, it hasn't even been a year . . . Sweetie, are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I have never been more sure," she tells him.

"Well, I guess it's something we need to talk about then."

"What do you think about it? Are you ready?"

"I honestly don't know," he says. "I wasn't ready the first time. I was scared to death the entire time. But, when we lost Sarah, I felt like I'd lost something that I'd been missing my entire life. I don't think I realized until after she was gone how much I really loved her and wanted her." Carol is listening closely. She has a sad look on her face, but she and Doug are finally to the point where they can talk openly about their lose. They have made a pact not to hold anything back from one another. "I'm scared, Carol. I'm afraid of opening myself up to that kind of pain again. I really don't think I could handle it if . . ."

"I know," she says. "I feel the same way. After what happened, it's hard not to be scared. I just think, eventually, we'll have to face those fears if we want to move on. I want us to have a family. We have Charlie, I know, and I love her as much as I could ever love any child that I gave birth to. But, I still want this," she clasps Doug's hands in hers. "Doug, please tell me the truth about how you feel about this. I want to know. I don't want to do anything that makes you unhappy. I just wanted to let you know that I'm ready. If you aren't, I understand. We'll just wait."

He looks at her and touches her cheek lightly. "I love you, you know that. And I want us to have a house full of kids. I'm just not sure how I feel about us having one right now. But, we'll talk about it. We'll work things out. I just need some time to think. I'm sure it'll work out though.'

She nods, "I know. It will." He pulls her close and wraps his arms around her. She rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. They both know they have a long road ahead of them.

"Morning," Charlie calls as she comes into the house on Saturday at around 10am.

"Hey, in here," Carol says, peeking her head out from the kitchen. "Did you have a good time?" Carol asks as Charlie comes into the kitchen to join her.

"Yeah, it was fun. Michelle and I don't get to talk that much. It was nice to have a chance to catch up. So," she smirks, "I don't suppose I have to ask how your night went?"

"No, you don't, because it's none of your business," Doug says as he enters the room. He grins at Charlie.

"Um hum," Charlie says knowingly. Doug raises his eyebrow at her and she says, "What? I didn't say a word. Not a word," she grins again and tries to look innocent.

"Yeah right," Doug replies. He smiles again and shakes his head. He can't help but laugh.

"Well, if you two are finished, how about some breakfast?" Carol says. She walks over to the table with a plate of pancakes. Doug and Charlie look at the food, then each other, then they both nod and head for the table.

"Gee, if I knew all it took to shut you two up was a few pancakes I would have bought stock in Martha White a long time ago," she teases.

"Very funny," Doug says, as he takes a huge bite of pancakes.

"Charlie swallows and says, "We are not amused."

Carol can't contain herself and bursts into giggles at the two of them. They both look at her and try to remain straight faced but neither is very successful and before long they are all sitting around the table laughing.

January seems to fly by and before long it is the first week in February. It's a cold, snowy Monday in Chicago and Doug Ross is dragging himself in at 6pm for the night shift. Carol was off at 5 so she's already at home. He signs in and asks, "Been busy today?"

"Nope. Snow's picking up. It'll probably be a slow night," Chuny replies.

"Here's hoping," Doug says and he heads for the lounge.

When he enters he sees Mark and Carter sacked out on the sofas. "Look alive boys," Doug greets them.

Carter groans and pulls a pillow over his head and Mark rubs his eyes and yawns. "Hey Doug," he acknowledges.

Doug nods a hello, then says, "I think our intern is slacking off here." He indicates Carter. "Did we ever get to take naps in the lounge when we were interns?"

"No, that's why we hid in exam rooms," Mark laughs. "Come on, let's go so we don't disturb his beauty sleep. He probably needs it. Anna must be keeping him up nights." Doug and Mark both chuckle at this.

As they leave, they hear Carter's muffled voice from beneath the pillow say, "I heard that."

"I'm sure you did, doctor," Mark responds with a laugh and he and Doug leave. They walk into the locker room and Mark sits at the table as Doug opens his locker and changes into his scrubs.

"So, how's life been treating you Mark?"

"Not bad. Things are pretty good actually."

"That's good. Wedding plans are coming along okay?"

"Yeah, they're okay. I'm surprised at how quickly this whole thing is coming together though. I mean, May is not that far off. I can't believe I'm getting married in 3 months!"

"Overwhelmed?" Doug snickers.

"A little," Mark admits.

"Still glad you asked her?"

"Yeah, I really am," Mark replies.

"Well, that's all that matters then," Doug tells him.

Mark nods. "So, how are things with you and Carol?"

"Great.'

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah . . . oh, I have to tell you the latest. We've been talking about having another baby."

"What? When did this start?" Mark is more than a little surprised.

"About a month ago I'd say. Carol brought it up."

"What do you think about all this?"

"Well, I have to admit, at first I thought it was way too soon. But, then, after I started really thinking about it, I realized I was reluctant because I was . . . well, scared," he admits. "I was scared of things ending the way they did with Sarah. And, I finally realized that my fears aren't going to go away and that, the longer we wait, they will probably just get worse. I guess the bottom line is I just discovered that, more than anything, I really do want to be a father. I think Carol and I are ready for this."

Mark smiles. "Wow, not exactly what I expected on a slow Monday night but it's good news all the same. I'm happy for you both."

"Thanks," Doug says.

"So, are you guys trying now?"

"No, she has a doctor's appointment next week. We wanted to wait until we had the green light."

"Yeah, that's probably good. Well, best of luck to you both. I'm sure things will turn out fine."

"I hope so."

"Oh, they will," Mark assures him. "So," he begins, changing the subject, "should we go torture Carter some more?"

"I'm right behind you," Doug replies and closes his locker to follow Mark.

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Created by Courtney Stovall © 1998

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