Love Me Tender

	Stephen addresses the audience.


Stephen		I wonder if you can remember what you were doing
		at half past three on the sixteenth of August, 1977. I
		remember exactly. I was revising for my insect-killng
		exams. In those days you could never call yourself
		educated unless you knew how to kill wasps. Anyway,
		as I say, I was swatting away for these exams, when I
		felt a sudden rush in my soul, a sense of something
		incredibly beautiful and mysterious passing into me.
		An extraordinary feeling, not unlike an evening with
		Cliff Michelmore, but somehow more peaceful. What
		could this feeling portend? Two hours later I dis-
		covered its meaning exactly. For it was precisely at
		that time that Elvis Aaron Presley died. I knew then
		that the soul of Elvis had passed into me. And since
		that day I have, more or less, been Elvis. I have spent
		nearly all my time eating ice cream and Big Macs and
		popping Percodan and Quaalude pills. Eerie isn't it?
		But I am, of course, not the only person into whom
		Elvis, with his customary generosity, breathed his
		soul. My colleague and bitter, sworn friend Hugh
		Laurie had a similar experience and here he is to
		tell you about it in the only way he knows.

	Hugh sitting on a stool singing "Love Me Tender".
	Shot develops to reveal that he is singing it to Nicholas 
	Parsons, who is sitting on a stool next to him.

Hugh		Love me tender, love me sweet
		Never let me go
		You've made my life so complete
		And I love you so
		Love me tender, love me true
		All my dreams fulfil
		For my darling I love you
		And I always will.

Stephen		I have to read when I'm on the
		throne. Have to read. Harpic
		bottle, tube of toothpaste, doesn't
		matter what it is. Even a book
		sometimes.