Interrogation

	Stephen, as a solicitor, sits at a table in a police interview room,
	next to Kevin, his client. Hugh sits opposite with Fiona, a WPC, next 
	to him. Kevin is upset.


Kevin		Yes, yes I admi ...

	Hugh holds up a hand to silence Kevin.

Hugh		(switching on recorder: speaking in routine monotone) Wednesday
		4th April 1994, 18.32 hours. Detective Sergeant Carter
		interviewing Jonathan Dumayne, Mr William Ponce, solicitor and
		WPC ...

Stephen		And commissioner for oaths ...

Hugh		And commissioner for oaths, and WPC Helen Thompson are also in
		attendance. Mr Parker has been advised of his rights.

	Hugh appears to have finished.

Kevin		I ...

Hugh		This interview is being conducted in accordance with the Police
		and Criminal Evidence Act 1987, Section 17, Interview
		Procedure, and is being recorded on chromium dioxide tape, with
		Dolby C noise reduction engaged, delivering magnetic tape
		registration through twin direct drive spindle-heads tracking
		at 57 revolutions per minute outputting 200 watts per channel.
		The unit is powered by alternating current at 240 volts with a
		maximum of 7.5 amps.

	Again Hugh seems to have shot his bolt.

Kevin		I don't really know why I ...

Hugh		Mr Parker is wearing a light grey worsted wool jacket with
		slashed pockets and double vent with a configuration of three
		buttons, at present unfastened. His shirt is a woollen cotton
		mix of the type commonly known as Vyella. No tie. His
		trousers ...

	Hugh looks under the table.

		... are a dark blue drill cotton, in the diagonal weave often
		referred to as chino. Odd socks and a pair of Air Wear shoes,
		known as DMs, short for Doctor Marten, the inventor of this
		brand of cushioned rubber sole which is acid splash resistant,
		hardy, comfortable and pleasantly styled. The prisoner is
		currently refreshing himself with a cup of tea and a biscuit
		brought by the duty sergeant. He has chosen an English
		breakfast blend taken with semi-skimmed milk and a half
		teaspoonful of the low calorie aspartame sweetener Candarel
		Spoonful which can help reduce weight only as part of a calorie
		controlled diet. Of the range of quality biscuits on offer he
		selected a McVitie's Boaster. The prisoner is aware that this
		interview is being recorded.

	Hugh has apparently shot his bolt. Kevin is doubtful. He opens his 
	mouth, finds that Hugh isn't going to speak, so starts himself.

Kevin		I suppose I just ...

Hugh		Mr Ponce has opted for a suit of slate grey herring-bone, from
		the Marks & Spencer Elegance range, teamed with a two-fold
		poplin short ... collar stiffeners?

	Stephen nods.

		Mr Ponce has indicated that collar stiffeners are inserted.

Stephen		In the collars.

Hugh		WPC Thompson is wearing regulation Metropolitan Police white
		blouse ...

Fiona		Blouson.

Hugh		I beg your pardon, blouson with ... what colour would you call
		that skirt?

Fiona		Navy.

Hugh		... navy skirt with chequered tie-thing.

Fiona		Stock.

Hugh		... with chequered stock. I note the application of a coral
		lipstick and an amber foundation cream of the colouring known
		as Gay Whisper.

	Fiona nods that this is correct.

		Her hair is attractively arranged with a delightful cow-lick
		reminiscent of the 1960s model Jean Shrimpton and the styling
		techniques of the then fashionable Vidal Sassoon. A light day-
		time fragrance has been applied to her pulse-points. The citrus
		top-notes with a deep bass of vetiver and wood-bark tells me
		that the favoured scent is Diorella, by Christian Dior of
		Paris, New York and London.

Fiona		Dioressence.

Hugh		Damn.

Fiona		Very close ...

Hugh		Dioressence, by Christian Dior of the previously mentioned
		cities. Right, Mr Dumayne ...

	Hugh has stopped. After a couple of false starts Kevin realises his 
	moment has come.

Kevin		I am extremely happy to tell you the full facts of the ...

	There is a loud clunk. They all look at the machine. Then at the 
	camera. A trumpet goes: MWA MWA MWA ...

Hugh		As I travel round the country, giving speeches and replacing
		lengths of guttering in high buildings, I have become
		increasingly distressed at the ignorance and prejudice that
		seems to surround the whole business of sucking. This used to
		be a dynamic nation; a nation of skill and know-how, of
		determination and vision. The rest of the world used to look to
		us for a lead on sucking, and we were happy, proud I should
		say, to give it. Now, well you can ask the average Briton to
		suck something for you in the street, even something quite
		small, like a hedge, and like as not he'll just shrug his
		shoulders and move on. That's sad. Terribly, terribly sad.