Interruptus

	Imelda is washing up at a kitchen sink. Stephen comes in. It's a little
	bit EastEnders and a little bit The Archers and little bit other things
	too. 


Stephen		Julie ...

Imelda		Hello, Frank. Kettle's on.

Stephen		Thanks, love. Julie, there's something I wanted to tell you ...

Imelda		Can't it wait? Only I've got to pick Rebecca up at four.

Stephen		Well no, it can't really ...

Imelda		Make it quick.

Stephen		I'm trying ...

Imelda		Only I've got to pick Rebecca up at four.

Stephen		Well it's not easy. Thing is ...

Imelda		Blimey, it's nearly four now. I've got to pick Rebecca up in a
		minute.

Stephen		Hold on. This is important ...

Imelda		Important?

Stephen		Yeah, you see ...

	The door opens and Clive comes in.

Imelda		Bill ...

Clive		Sorry, am I ...?

Imelda		No, it's alright. Frank was just going to tell me something
		important, but I've got to pick Rebecca up at four, so ...

Clive		I'll pick Rebecca up, if you like.

Imelda		Are you sure?

Clive		Yeah, no problem. What time?

Imelda		Four ...

Clive		Blimey, it's nearly four now ...

Imelda		I know ...

Clive		I'll go and pick her up, then.

Imelda		Kettle's on ...

Clive		No, it's alright. Better get a move on if I'm going to make it
		by four ...

Imelda		Thanks.

Clive		See ya.

	Clive goes out.

Imelda		Now then. What's so important?

Stephen		Well ...

Imelda		Kettle's on, by the way ...

Stephen		No thanks.

Imelda		Sure? Won't take a minute.

Stephen		No, really ... Julie, you and I ...

	Clive comes back in.

Clive		Sorry ...

Imelda		What's wrong? Is Rebecca alright?

Clive		Fine, fine ...

Imelda		Tell me what's happened ...

Clive		Nothing's happened. It's just ...

Imelda		What?

Clive		Where am I picking her up from?

Imelda		Rebecca?

Clive		Yeah ...

Imelda		Tony's.

Clive		Tony's, right. What time?

Imelda		Well I said four ...

Clive		Blimey, I'd better get a move on ...

Imelda		Thanks.

	Clive goes out again.

		Now then. What about that tea?

Stephen		No thanks.

Imelda		Sure? Kettle's on ...

Stephen		No. Look, Julie ...

Imelda		Two seconds. Warm the pot, couple of tea bags ...

Stephen		Julie ...

Imelda		What?

Stephen		Thanks, I'd love a cup.

	Imelda pours some tea.

Imelda		So this big important thing that can't wait ...

Stephen		Yeah, well. I don't know how to put this ...

Imelda		Just say it.

Stephen		It's not easy. The thing is ...

Imelda		Sugar?

Stephen		Two, please. Julie, you and I have known each other a long 
		time, yeah?

Imelda		Yeah.

Stephen		I s'pose, what I'm trying to say is ...

	The door opens and Hugh enters.

Hugh		Have either of you seen Bill?

Imelda		Bill?

Hugh		Yeah. He was supposed to be giving me a lift ...

Imelda		He's gone to fetch Rebecca ...

Hugh		What time?

Imelda		Five.

Hugh		Five?

Imelda		No, wait a minute, four.

Hugh		Four?

Imelda		Four.

Hugh		Sure?

Imelda		Sure. He'll be back in a minute.

Hugh		Oh, I'll hang on then. You haven't got the kettle on, have you?

Imelda		No, kettle's off.

Stephen		Damnedest thing. I was in this hardware shop the other day,
		buying a thirty gallon drum of car wax for my daughter-in-law,
		when the door bursts open, thirty coppers come lumbering in,
		and arrest everyone. Place turned out to be a brothel. Quite
		unbelievable. I mean it said Brothel outside it, but I just
		thought that was a joke.