Holding Back Once More



These characters are not mine and no money is made by the use of them.

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Scene 1 Carol ran around her bedroom trying to keep herself busy while waiting for the timer to ding. She was very nervous. Just then Caitlin enters the room.

Caitlin: "Why are you walking around the room, mommy?"

Carol: "Because sweetheart, mommy is waiting for the timer to go off."

Caitlin: "The timer, for what, are you making cinnamon rolls?"

Carol: "No, not cinnamon rolls, it's nothing really. But I do want you to go play while mommy is waiting alright dear?"

Caitlin:(a loud sigh) "Yes mommy."

Carol continues to pace the room while Caitlin leaves. She hears the phone ring and jumps because she thinks it is the timer. She hears the phone again and walks over to her night stand to pick it up.

Carol: "Hello Ross residence?"

Helen: "Hello Carol. You seem tense what's wrong?"

Carol: "Oh, it's nothing ma, really."

Helen: "Carol darling, are you sure, would you like me to come over?"

Carol: "No no, mom really it's ok.(hear's the timer ding)Um, ma I really hafta go. Sorry bye.

Carol hangs up on Helen and rushes toward the bathroom. She picks up the stick and looks down at it. In disappointment she throws it in the garbage and reaches down to call Doug. Randi answers the phone at the hospital.

Randi: "Hello County General, how may I help you?"

Carol: "Randi, it's Carol, I need to speak to Doug."

Randi: "Hold on just a sec.(not speaking to Carol)Dr. Ross, Carol is on the phone."

Doug: "Thanks Randi, I got it. Hello?"

Carol: "Doug, it's me?"

Doug: "Well, are we having one or not?"

Carol: "Doug, it came back negative. I'm starting to get worried something's wrong."

Doug: "Carol we've only been trying for six months, and we've already had one kid. What makes you think we can't have another?"

Carol: "I don't know Doug. Maybe cause Caitlin came right away and nothing's happening now."

Doug: "Don't worry Carol. I'll see if I can find someone to take Cait tonight and then we can try again."

Carol: "Well, alright. I love you."

Doug: "I love you too. Now don't worry about this darling, it will

happen. I hafta go. I love you, bye."

Carol: "I love you forever and always, bye."

Both Doug and Carol hang up the phone but now we cut to the hospital. Mark walks over to Doug and asks him about this call.

Mark: "Doug, buddy who was that?"

Doug: "Just Carol, as usual."

Mark: "She's been calling a lot lately. Is something wrong?"

Doug: "No no, nothing. Just something we have to, well, I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess something to sort out."

Mark: "If you say so, but Doug, you know anytime you want I'm free to talk. About anything, anything at all."

Doug: "Thanks buddy. But I don't need to talk, at least not now. But thanks anyway."

Mark: "Anytime, anytime."

Scene 2 It is Saturday morning. Doug and Carol are kind of awake but still lounging in bed. The t.v. can be heard from downstairs because Caitlin is awake watching the morning cartoons.

Carol: "Doug, now is the perfect time and well, I really feel up to it."

Doug: "I don't know Carol, Caitlin's in the house and you know we don't have a lock for our door."

Carol: "Oh come on Doug, you know just as well as I do she'll be watching cartoons all morning. Now come on, pulseee?"

Doug: "I'm still not sure Carol, what if she comes in here. What would we tell her?"

Carol: "Doug, why are you being like this? You just told me I was holding back, now why are you?"

Carol starts removing Doug's boxers and kissing him. Doug jerks away and Carol's face hits the bed. Doug jumps off the bed and pulls on some pants and a shirt. He finds an old pair of shoes and slides them on his feet. He begins to walk towards the door without even tying them.

Doug: "Sorry Carol, bu buba, but I can't."

Carol: "Doug wait!"

Doug starts down the hall and charges down the stairs. We can hear Carol scurrying around the room and then her running down the hall. Doug makes it down the stairs and walks threw the kitchen where Caitlin is sitting at the bar watching cartoons on the small screen t.v. She looks up at him in shock.

Caitlin: "Daddy where are you going?"

Doug: "Daddy needs sometime by himself, sweetheart. I'll see you later."

Carol:(faintly in the distance) "Doug, wait!!"

Doug opens the door to the garage and gets in the Jeep he starts the engine, opens the garage door, and leaves. By the time Carol can get to the garage he is gone. Flabbergasted and upset she sits down next to Caitlin and cries.

Caitlin: "What's wrong?"

Carol: "I'm such a low wife. Why'd I do that to him?"

Caitlin: "Do what mommy?"

Scene 3 Doug is sitting somewhere along the river in Chicago. We can see a large faced clock in the distance. The hands point to 2:30 PM. Doug throws pebbles from a stone path into the river, watching them skip across the water as he thinks. Millions of thoughts rush threw his mind as he tries and gathers them up. Why did I rush out on her? She wants this baby so badly and I do too. But I want my baby as a gift from god, not from what I can do 5 minutes before the alarm goes off. I feel terrible that I'm not giving her what she wants but I'm not a trained seal that performs on demand. Finally, after hours of weighing his thoughts in his mind he decides to go see his mother, Sarah.

Scene 4 Carol is sitting at home playing MEGA BLOCKS with Caitlin. She is trying very hard not to think of what happened earlier this morning with Doug. After all she doesn't want to burst out and explain her sex life to her 2 year old daughter.

Caitlin: "Mommy is something wrong?"

Carol now realizing Caitlin has been asking her different questions for the past 5 minutes responds.

Carol: "No honey, nothing's wrong."

Caitlin: "Are you sure, cause you never answered my other question?"

Carol: "Yes I'm sure, now what was your question?"

Caitlin: "Are you and daddy, having a fight?"

Carol: "Now why would you ask something like that?"

Caitlin: "Because daddy ran out of here this morning and wouldn't talk to you."

Carol wanting to be honest with her daughter, tries to explain it to her.

Carol: "We didn't have a fight, we had a disagreement."

Caitlin: "What's a disgrement?"

Carol: "It's when two or people don't think the same thing as each other and then they get mad."

Caitlin: "Oh! So when I say I want to stay up and watch Jetsons and you say no, that's a disgrement?"

Carol: "Pretty much."

Caitlin: "So that's what you and daddy are having?"

Carol: "Yes."

Caitlin: "Did I cause it?"

Carol: "Gosh no, no Caitlin. You didn't do anything at all and I don't want you to think that either alright?"

Caitlin: "Ok mommy."

Scene 5 Doug has just pulled up in front of his mother's large town house. He steps out of the car and slams the door shut. He saunters slowly up to the front step and rings the bell. He hears light footsteps walk to the door and then the switch of a lock as it opens.

Sarah: "Dougie, what a pleasant surprise. Please come in."

Doug: "Hi mom."

The two exchange hugs and kisses. Then Sarah takes a good look at his face.

Sarah: "Something's wrong. What is it Doug?"

Sarah leads Doug to the kitchen table. She goes to the fridge and takes out a plate of cookies and two glasses. She pours milk into the glasses and brings them and the plate to the table. She sits down and gestures for Doug to speak.

Doug: "Well, it starts out like this. Carol and I are trying to have another baby. And we....(cut off by Sarah)"

Sarah: "That's wonderful Doug.(sees he is hurt by her cutting him off and finishes) I'm sorry now you were about to say?"

Doug: "Yes, ok we're trying for this baby and it means the world to Carol. And me. But Carol seems to want this baby right now. This very second. Every single free moment we have with or without Caitlin she wants to have sex to try for this baby. And I mean I want my child conceived by a gift from god, not what I can do 5 minutes before the alarm goes off. But Carol, no it's different with her. I even ran out on her today. She wanted to have sex while Caitlin was watching cartoons and I was hesitant and she got upset so I just left. What should I do mom?"

Sarah: "First of all honey, I wouldn't suggest walking out on her to often, it doesn't help, and second do you want this baby and I mean really want?"

Doug: "Yes, with all my heart."

Sarah: "And your sure that Carol wants a baby too?"

Doug: "Yah, we already discussed this."

Sarah: "Well, than I suggest you tell Carol, what you just told me, she needs to know these things Doug, and by keeping them from her isn't going to improve your relationship much less help you with this problem.

Doug: "But mom, I don't know how to tell, Carol. I don't want to upset her?"

Sarah: "You have to stay clam Doug, and let her know how you feel, and make sure you let her have some say. Just like you told me. I let you express your feelings and then you let me express mine. That's exactly how you should talk to Carol about it to. That way both sides of the story will come across."

Doug: "Your right mom, you really are. I don't know how you do it but you always do."

Sarah: "It's a mother's love Doug, Carol has the same thing but it's different for both you and Caitlin. And it will come across in different ways too. That just part of the reason you two make love."

Doug:(a short laugh) "So that's what it is, I've always wondered. I should probably go now, and talk to Carol."

Sarah: "You do that, and make sure you stay calm and let her speak to. Oh and Doug."

Doug: "Yah, mom?"

Sarah: "Make sure next time you come around you bring that adorable little girl I call my grand daughter. Ok?"

Doug: "Sure thing mom! Bye!"

Sarah: "Bye sweetheart and see you soon!"

Scene 6 Carol sat alone at the kitchen table in the house. She had wanted time to gather her thoughts so she had gotten a friend to take Caitlin for the afternoon. She sipped her ice tea and ate "Sweep Crispers (bite-size graham crackers with sugar on top)" one of her favorite snacks. Just as she thought she had gotten the problem figured out the door bell rang and she lost her train of thought. Carol:(mumbling to herself) "Damn it and I just had it to."

Carol walked to the front door and stood on her tippy toes to see out the peephole. She saw her mother and started undoing the heavy padlocks on the door. When she got to the last one she opened the door.

Helen: "Good afternoon Carol, why such a down face? I came as soon as I could."

Carol: "No ma, it's not you it just this problem Doug and I are having."

Helen: "Wait now Carol, you know that all problems need to be solved over the kitchen table."

Helen started towards the kitchen as Carol shook her head and rolled her eyes as she followed. The two sat down and Carol began once again.

Carol: "Now as I was saying, well I'd better start from the beginning. Doug and I are trying to have another baby. And..."

Helen: "By George, that's wonderful news dear, anyway?"

Carol: "And I want this baby really bad, right now ma, but Doug well I think he wants the baby but he doesn't seem to want to try as much."

Helen: "What do you mean, try as much?"

Carol: "Well he didn't want to have sex this morning and I kept pushing him and then he left, he walked right out of the house with out even an explanation. I don't get it? What's with him?"

Helen: "Honey I know this is going to sound rude but are you sure your not pushing Doug too much? I mean maybe he just wants to take it slow and watch his baby be conceived. Do you see what I'm getting at. As much as I hate to side with Doug, I'm afraid on this one I have to."

Carol: "I think I know what your getting at. You mean maybe pushing Doug too, much is making him have second thoughts?"

Helen: "Some what, but what I really think you two need to do is talk this over, TOGETHER! It will get both of your feelings out and then you can continue trying to conceive. I think that would really work."

Carol:(leads Helen to the door) "I think your right ma, Doug and I just need to talk this out. Thanks again for coming over. Bye!"

Helen: "Bye sweetie, and GOOD LUCK!"

Helen leaves the house and Carol locks up the doors and shuts window cause she has to go pick Caitlin up at Raylynn's.

Scene 7 It is late in the evening, around 9:00. Carol is sitting on the couch with Caitlin in her lap. The two are waiting for Doug to come home. The only reason Caitlin is still awake is because she never sleeps well unless Doug tucks her in and kisses her goodnight. She is wearing her pink Barney p.j.s and her golden blond hair has been undone and brushed.

Carol: "Caitlin I think it's time for you to go to bed."

Caitlin: "But you said I could stay up til daddy gets home."

Carol: "Honey I know, but I think daddy's going to be late so he'll hafta tuck you in while your asleep."

Caitlin: "But I wanna wait for him."

Carol: "No Caitlin."

Carol carries the tired and sleepy-eyed Caitlin up the stairs and into her room. She lays her in bed and tucks her in. Before she leaves the room she turns on her angel night light and kisses her goodnight. Then she decides she'll have to face Doug in the morning and goes to bed too.

Scene 8 Doug has just gotten home and is trying to be quiet as he enters the house. It is about quarter after 10. He goes up stairs and opens the door to his bedroom. There is a small squeak and he goes in and closes it behind himself. He turns on the bathroom light so the bedroom can be seen. Just then Carol arises from her sleeping position. Doug sees her.

Doug: "I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep."

Carol: "I'm fine, but I think we need to talk."

Doug: "Ok."

Doug walks over to the bed and sits down. Carol sits on his lap.

Doug: "Carol, I'm really sorry about this morning, I didn't mean to run out on you but I didn't know what else to do."

Carol: "No, Doug I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I'm the one who keeps pressuring you into this. It should be your choice too."

Doug: "Carol, I want my baby to be conceived by a gift from god, not from what I can do 5 minutes before the alarm goes off. Do you see my point?"

Carol: "I do Doug, and I'm really sorry I pressured you into this it's just I want my baby so bad."

Doug: "I know and I do to, but I want to watch my baby be conceived."

Carol: "Those are the exact words my mother said."

Doug: "Really, she actually sided with me?!"

Carol: "Yup, she did. So do we have this thing all worked out now? We're going to take our time?"

Doug: "Yup, gonna take it slow and see what comes out of it. Hey do you wanna see what our time can do now?"

Carol: "Only if you want to. No pressure here."

Doug: "Believe me I want to right now, and I can and will take the blame for this one if I have to."

Carol: "Ok Mr. Ross, seduce me!"

Doug starts kissing Carols neck and undressing her. Camera pans to show their feet as we see Carol's nightgown fall to the flow followed by Doug's shirt, jeans, and boxers. Closing credits roll.

This story was written by Christina on August 20, 1998.

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