Gail: It was work related. It isn't what you think it was.
Mitch: He has the nerve to call here?
Gail: He had a simple question.
Mitch: Oh. Well, tell Bob that the next time he calls here, the next time he interrupts my breakfast to call my wife, that the only simple question he'll need an answer for is 'do you have health insurance?'

Pacey: Now. Upgrading Jen to girlfriend status. It's really a two part attack. The first thing you got to do is let her know that you're completely cool with the idea of being her friend. Okay? The quicker you can fake some sort of indifference, the less special she's going to feel. And the less special she feels, the more she's going to crave that very special feeling that comes from being Dawson Leery's girlfriend. Okay? A feeling that's not included in the friends package.

Dr. Rand: You know what I did first thing after I finished grading your exam?
Pacey: Stopped laughing?

Pacey: Dr. Rand, I'd like to log a formal protest. You never told me I was going to be working with a repressed control freak.
Joey: Yeah, and you never said my grade was dependent on helping some remedial underachiever.
Dr. Rand: Well. Wonderful. I see no introductions are necessary.

Pacey: Thank you, Dr. Swissler. You know, refresh my memory of why we're here again.
Joey: We're observing the reproductive process of palominos snails. And Dr. Rand said that they reproduce more when they're happy so by varying the contents of the tank, we can determine which factors are most conducive to reproduction.
Pacey: Well, why didn't you just say that? We'll buy them a couple of drinks, turn off the light and come back in a couple of days.

Joey: I'm very well certain that your grade will not only place you squarely among the morons, but you may very well be their leader.

Joey: Let me get this straight... you tried to create some sort of snail menage a trois?
Pacey: Well, it sounds kind of stupid when you say it out loud but I just saw this really pretty snail in the tank over by the window and I don't know, but last night it just seemed really brilliant.

Pacey: I've often regarded patrolling for snails as one of the more under-rated ways to spend one's evening.
Joey: You know, despite what you might think, it's not my first choice of spending my Saturday afternoon, either. But, then again, I wasn't the one who tried to turn an aquarium into a playhouse retreat, now was I?

Pacey: You know, it's amazing. A personality like yours and you still can't get any dates.
Joey: Even more amazing. A personality like yours and you can.

Joey: Oh yeah, the thrill of seeing you in your birthday suit is really my idea of a thrill.
Pacey: You know, a lot of people would consider you a very lucky woman.
Joey: And many people would consider you a very delusional man.

Joey: You take one more step in this direction and I can almost guarantee you a permanent disability.

Joey: Home, Jeeves.
Pacey: Yes, Miss Daisy.

Mary Beth: Dawson? You're a nice guy. I like you. Do I like like you? No. You're a little too neurotic for that.

Pacey: Dawson, I don't know how to break it to you
Dawson: Break what to me?
Pacey: Well, you're a little late.
Dawson: You kissed her?
Pacey: Oh yeah. Not only that, she kissed me back. Right there on the front side of the Witter Family truck. We played tonsil hockey for about an hour. She invites me in but it was getting a little late so I didn't. But she's cooking for me tomorrow night, she says she always wanted to cook for the right man. You should come. We're thinking about heading up to this cozy little B and B up the coast and spending some quality time this weekend.
Dawson: You're so full of it.
Pacey: Yes I am. And so are you. You know, it's time you start asking yourself some serious questions, Dawson. Because you exhaust way too much time and energy on a girl you call your friend. So, you know what? Let's just set the record straight here. Who's it going to be? Is it Jen or is it Joey? Do you like the blond or do you like the brunette? These questions are not going to go away, Dawson. It's time you provide some answers.

Lines of the Week:

Joey: Wait a second. You're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get three snails to sleep with each other?