by Tyra

( Jax and Brenda leave to take a late night sail .. .. .. G A P .. .. .. I N .. .. .. S T O R Y .. .. .. Jax is reviewing Veronica Barrett's dossier the next morning as he calls her for a meeting.)

Jax could feel his heart rate escalating as he worked the glue loose from the end of the large envelope. He reached into the envelope and pulled out a thick folder labeled "Veronica Wilding Barrett". The post-it was obstructing the face of the black and white photo that was attached to the top of the dossier. He took a moment to make a short prayer before moving the post-it aside. There staring up at him was the face of the crass, demented woman that had been proclaiming herself Brenda's mother. He felt his stomach turn as the realization that Brenda would be devastated when she discovered that her mother had not died, she had merely deserted her.

Brenda had made such strides overcoming the insecurities brought about by her neglected childhood. This was going to be so hard for Brenda to deal with. Jax made a silent curse that this woman had landed in their lives. Everything was so perfect! They had reconciled, the marriage was set for November, Brenda was happier than he had ever seen her. For the first time in her life she felt comfortable in her skin. She liked herself, what she was doing, her future, her present. Their lives we going along so smoothly and then this harpy arrived like a bat out of hell.

Jax had the dossier on his lap but hadn't had the heart to open the folder. As he took a deep breath before turning the page, Brenda arrived. He quickly placed the folder back in the envelope and attempted to appear interested in the L&B business she wanted to discuss. His mind simply buzzed with the dreaded thoughts of how he was going to tell her. She looked so happy! She was overflowing with joy about getting her new band, a job and Luke's. He had to pull himself out of the depressive morass of their dilemma before Brenda questioned him of what was wrong.

Brenda began to ask questions about Veronique. To avoid delving more deeply into the subject he decided to distract her with charm. He needed time to thoroughly review the dossier before he could decide how he wanted Brenda to be told about Veronica. If there was a way to break it to her gently, he would find it, he had to find it. He slid the envelope alongside the edge of his seat and distracted Brenda by telling her he had something to confess. She looked at him with some trepidation until he broke into a wining grin asking her to spend the evening only talking of her, being with her. Her response was to lean closer smiling broadly as her throaty laughter was charming him into believing that they truly hadn't a care in the world, almost. He asked her if she still wanted to go night sailing and sat back watching her eyes dance with happiness. Her face was so expressive, she was like an open book to him. So trusting, caring, and sharing. He hoped that the news that was yet to come would not dull the clarity in her eyes or sway her from believing in her own self worth. He was amazed that she was so elated with her latest L&B victory that she didn't realize that something was bothering him. He was used to her knowing almost instantly when something was troubling him. Instead she was filled with giggles as she told him that she would race him to the dock as she dashed off to a big head start. He paused to look one more time at the dreaded envelope, before following her.

He dropped the envelope off at the front desk to be picked up later. He couldn't take the chance that Brenda would see the information inside before he was prepared to tell her. The desk clerk locked it in his safe deposit box before he finally ran to the docks to catch Brenda. He was going to enjoy this evening as if it were their last. He knew that they would be able to overcome this together, but he anticipated many bumps along their path until Victoria was dealt with.

Brenda was no where to be found when he reach the Isabella. She had such a huge head start, how could she possibly not be here yet? Jax was about to panic when he noticed a trail of clothing leading to the deck below. How intriguing he thought as he picked up a shoe, that led to her bag, which in turn led to her other shoe. And so the trail led straight in the direction of the captain's cabin, the captain's bed. He caught a trace of her perfume as he picked up the last bit of cloth hanging from doorknob. Still holding the piece of wispy lace he open the door with an anticipatory smile and found lying in the middle of their bed, a note! Though he was disappointed, the fact that Brenda was hiding someplace in the nude was quite arousing.

Jax began his treasure hunt with much enthusiasm. Not wishing to be overdressed for the task at hand, he stripped down to his silk black boxes before beginning his hunt. Picking up the note he read the perplexing message.

What did Brenda mean by that? He was already sitting on top of where his fantasies came true. This was the very bed that they spent their Honeymoon night? Where could she be? A smile slowly spread across his face as he realized where his fantasies really were consummated first, as man and wife! He ran up the steps to the top deck and made his way to the deck side opposite the dock. There sitting on their deck chair huddled under a blanket sat Brenda, shivering from the slight chill in the air. She had a bottle of champagne chilling and a radio playing softly nearby. Her eyes filled with warmth as she watched his approach.

She viewed his attire with pleasure warming her eyes, "What took you so long Jax? I've practically turned into a Popsicle waiting for you out here."

"Just finding the right thing to wear for this evening. What do you think?" Jax asked as he scooted in under the blankets behind her. He felt the chill of her skin when her back touched his chest as he pulled her into the warming circumference of his arms and legs.

"I think you're overdressed for what I have in mind tonight!" She sighed as she wiggled boring deeper, closer against his body. "Mmmmmm, this feels nice Jax. You're so toasty warm, I can't close enough to you." She wiggled against him and Jax felt his body spring to life.

"Brenda! You know what happens to me when you wiggle about like that. What are you trying to do?"

"If you haven't figured it out yet, I must be doing something wrong." Brenda laughed as she turned around to warm her chest against his stomach. He gasped as the twin points, initially chilled his body. Jax slowly breathed out trying to control his reaction as she reached behind his head grabbing the chair back. She then pulled herself up, so slowly torturing him with the feel of her chest burning a trail against his chest as she slowly rose up his body, towards his lips. She was so sensuous tonight, he could feel this scorching need engulf him. He licked his suddenly dry lips in preparation to welcome a kiss that would send him over the edge of rational thought. Her eyes were full of heat, desire, mischief as she pulled within inches of his mouth. He could feel his body trembling with anticipation as her lips drew closer, closer, closer still, then .. .. .. SPLAT! Brenda had pulled the lever that controlled the chair back, and the two of them plummeted downward from its reclining chair position, to flat bed position!

The two of them were shocked back to reality as the force of the fall brought forth a tiny scream from Brenda. Jax's eyes watered as a deep pain radiated through his body because Brenda's knee was driven hard into where he was most vulnerable. The way he felt at that moment the possibility of children in their near future was highly unlikely. As Brenda realized what she had done she immediately rose and tried to check the injured area.

"Brenda! NO! Don't touch me right now! Please, don't touch it! I'll be all right in a moment, just sit over there for a moment while I try to compose my .. .. .. thoughts."

Brenda froze in mid motion, hands covering her mouth to stem the nervous laugh that was trying to spring forth. "Jax! I am so sorry! I must have accidentally hit the lever that adjusts the chair back. How badly did I knee you?"

Jax winced as he adjusted himself to a more comfortable position in the lounge chair. He moved the lever bringing the chair back up to a reclining position then reached over and poured two glasses of champagne. Handing one to Brenda, he took a sip of his before answering in a pained whisper, "You got me dead center sweetie. But the injury isn't terminal. The patient will recover and be good as new in a few moments." Brenda's eyes searched his for any trace anger or resentment, but all she could see was a tinge of pain and amusement. They both began to laugh as he reached up and pulled her down to sit next to him.

"I am so embarrassed Jax. Here I was trying my best to be sensuous, sexy, temping, hot! I wanted this to be a night to remember!"

As he took another sip of champagne, he chuckled as he hugged her to him, "Oh, you can bet I'll never forget what happened here tonight! I haven't felt like this since my last soccer scrum."

She laughingly slapped him on the thigh as he recoiled. "Hey! That's too close to my wound for comfort!"

He leaned against the chair back, placing a leg on either side and gestured for Brenda to join him carefully. She cautiously placed herself between his legs as she leaned back against him. She loved the warmth of nestling against him listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. She took another sip of her champagne and sighed as they silently enjoyed their view of the harvest moon. It was a huge yellow ball of light tonight, so large she felt that she only need to lean over the railing of the Isabella to touch it.

"Look at the moon Jax! Isn't it beautiful? I love it out here on the water, just you and me sailing together in peaceful harmony! I just love it when the moon is just rising at the edge of the horizon. See how the light reflects a path back towards us? Like it's laying the road for us to a better place? A place of light and delight, and love!"

"We haven't left the dock yet sweetie!" Jax teased as he lightly drew a line down her nose with his finger. She felt him pull back slightly as she turned in his arms to look up at his face, "Don't wiggle Brenda, whatever you do don't come any closer right now. I'm still quite tender." Brenda couldn't help but laugh till tears streamed down her face.

"Am I seeing our future here tonight? Is this what I have to look forward to in the way of compassion from my wife to be?"

She slapped his chest lightly as she leaned back to look directly into his eyes, "And what about me? Is this what I have to look forward to? Here I am trying to be all poetic and romantic about the moon, stars, water, you, me; and you get all technical on me. We haven't left the dock yet!"

Brenda caresses his cheek as she purrs, "You know I care Jax. I'm just laughing at my own clumsiness. I can't believe I did that! Do you forgive me?" She moves her hand, placing it lightly over his wounded area, "Does he forgive me? Is there anything I can do to make him feel better?"

Jax felt the warmth of her hand searing through the thin fabric of his boxers and felt his body answering her question. "I'm sure he will, with a little tender loving care from you." He took her comforting hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently before placing it on his chest, over his heart, "But maybe a little bit later tonight. Why don't you tell me more about your day? You signed a new band?"

"Yes I did, and I got them the gig at Luke's! It is so exciting honey! I feel like everything is coming to a perfect convergence in my life. You and me, L&B, modeling, our wedding! I don't think I've ever felt more at peace, satisfied, secure, and so in love! And it's all due to you. You reached down and forcibly pulled me back from the very edge of a very dark place. I could have plunged into the darkness forever if it hadn't been for your faith in me, your strength, love."

"Sweetie, I've told you before, that you did this all on your own. You pulled yourself up through your own strength and determination. It had nothing to do with me. And I know exactly when you turned around, by yourself, with no assistance from me."

Seeing her questioning gaze, he continued. "It was the night that you had thrown me out, telling me that you didn't need me to baby-sit you any longer. I left so angry at you, and yet devastated. I wanted to help, but it seemed the best way to do it, was to step back. It went against my nature, I need to have control, to fix things, make things right. But supporting you seemed to make things worse, leaving seemed to be the only thing I could do to help you. That lasted about a minute, and I came back to reason with you, and found your cottage empty, your mirror broken, I was so frantic! I drove like a madman to Jason's and we almost came to blows. Luckily he was having you guarded, and his man told him where you were. I must have broke the land speed record driving to the cemetery. I arrived there just as you were talking to Lily, sorting things out about what had happened to the both of you. You had brought her flowers, and I could see how talking to her spirit had uplifted you. I watched as the strength to fight through your fears and depression changed you. I only saw your back but I could see it, feel the change in you. You seemed to stiffen yourself, your resolve, to live again, love again, BE again. I knew then that you didn't need me, you'd be better off without me, and that's when I began to .. .. .. distance myself from you. When I knew that I was hurting, more than helping your recovery."

Brenda's eyes were now shining from more than the moonlight as she reached up to smooth away the furrows those memories brought to his brow. "You know thinking back, I must have felt your energy that night. I thought I had alienated my best friends. I had said such awful things to you and Robin, almost cut my face to shreds with those scissors, I thought I was losing my mind. When I ran out into the night, I had no idea where I was going, where I was headed. I was in a daze, wandering about town until I found myself at Lily's grave, with flowers in my hands. There was something compelling me to bring closure to Lily and my friendship. Because we had been friends once, till loving the same WRONG man almost destroyed both of us. I decided to live again that night, and in a way, I think in my subconscious, I pulled myself back from the edge of madness for you." She placed her hand over his lips when she saw he was going to tell her otherwise. "I'm not saying I came back FOR you Jax, I'm saying I came back BECAUSE of you. Because I realized that every moment spent with you was pure joy. Because I suddenly knew that love didn't have to hurt to be real, eternal. Because I grew up, or grew a brain and discovered that the perfect man had been in my hands the whole time! And I knew that I had to make myself well, whole again, so I could rebuild my life into something special, with you. Jax? Are you uncomfortable with what I've said? Why aren't you saying anything?"

"Because I'm at a loss for words. At this time last year I could never imagine that I would have you in my arms again, let alone listening to you rhapsodize about how you feel about me. My life was nearly in ruins, you had gone back to Sonny, I was under suspicion for drug smuggling, you were accused of murdering Dorman. I never in my wildest dreams thought our lives would mesh together so perfectly. You in my life again, and someday a child to share. That's all I'll ever need to feel successful. The money is secondary to me now because I know having IT, without YOU, was worthless and empty. I could live every day of the rest of lives without a penny to my name, a contented man, as long as I fell asleep with you in my arms each night, and woke to you lying against me each morning."

Jax and Brenda then shared a gentle kiss that grew in passion as their hunger built, but Jax winced again as Brenda leaned in closer. "Jax! Is it still tender?" As he merely nodded his reply, she changed the subject, "I know, let me tell you about this woman that Robin and I found at The Outback. She was sitting at the table next to us and was just humming to herself quietly. There's was something about her that reminded me of Mary Mae Ward. I approached her and asked her to sing a little something, and Jax, she's fabulous! She's just what L&B needs! You know we never replaced Mary Mae with a new Jazz/Blues artist after she passed away, and this woman would be spectacular!"

Jax just loved watching Brenda when she was impassioned about anything. She always got so excited that every single pore just exuded pure joy. He was enjoying the light that danced in her eyes as she told him about her new discovery. "You know what? Since you still in recovery mode, why don't I sing a little bit of the song she sung for us. I don't have the voice that she does, but that should give you incentive to heal quickly, or you'll have to suffer through the entire song!"

She pulled away slightly as she started to sing a slow blues tune for his ears only. She demurely cover her exposed skin which made her all the sexier to Jax he watched this enchantress sing her song.

To Listen Real Audio of 'The Nearness Of You' - Click Here

Jax couldn't imagine that the woman Brenda had discovered could be any better than this. Maybe Brenda should consider signing herself to L&B. But in the second that thought entered his mind, he pushed it aside. He would never be able to bear it if anyone else saw the person he was witnessing tonight. She was confident, teasing, and overflowing with sex appeal. No he wanted to savor these performances alone. He didn't want her to share this side of herself with anyone else.

Jax had difficulty swallowing as his throat became dry and the air became thick with emotion. Brenda reached out towards him gently pushing his wayward hair back, bringing her chest within inches of his lips. The buzz in his head grew louder as his tongue wet his lips preparing his mouth for the meal before him. "You know I think I'm feeling better, much better in fact. Why don't we -- -- --" The rest of this thoughts caught in his throat as Brenda's hands moved slowly southward, making a path down his face, nails delicately scratching a tingling trail past his neck and continued down his chest.

Jax's mind and body were now at full attention. How was it that Brenda could drive him insane without ever touching more than his face, his chest, his .. .. .. 'Oh My God' he inwardly groaned as Brenda's hands had reached her destination, and he felt her fingers brush against him as she pulled at the waistband of his boxers. He lifted up slightly to assist in their removal and was rewarded with the sensation of his skin touching hers. Any residue discomfort he had been feeling disappeared as the white hot need to have her, took hold of his mind and body. Her hands were sending shivers across his body as a thin film of sweat broke out across his face and neck.

Brenda's hands were driving him to the raw edge of insanity as they gently stroked his chest, stomach, hips. Having finished her song, Brenda's lips were now free to follow the path her hands had taken just moments earlier as they blazed a trail down his chest and stomach. Jax quivered in response to Brenda's gentle ministrations.. He felt desolate when she pulled away, swinging her hair to one side away from her face. As his body still felt the reflexive shudders from the talents of her wonderful mouth, he thought that he couldn't remember ever feeling better in his life. In an instant he knew he was wrong as his body jerked upward in response as she whispered, "Can I kiss it and make it feel better?", just before her lips encircled him and her tongue applied a soothing balm down his length!

He squeezed his eyes tightly to stop the bright colored lights that sprung before his eyes, but it did no good as the explosions were happening behind his eyes. He whimpered a cry of desperation to stop her before he totally lost control, "Brenda! Stop, I can't take much more! Please, GOD!-- -- --" he sucked in air as he grimaced from the pleasured pain her lips were causing as a tightness gripped his chest and his whole body stiffened before his mind and body erupted in response. In that instant his world was blinded by a white hot light, followed closely by skyrockets and twinkling stars.

When his rational mind finally floated down from the clouds he saw Brenda resting her head on her arms propped up on his chest, a Cheshire cat grin spread across her face. With great effort he returned her smile as he touched her gifted lips with the tips of his fingers. She nipped at his fingers with her teeth sending aftershocks though his body, "So what did you think of the song? Did it move you?"

She squealed as Jax slapped her lightly on the bottom, "Were your lips singing, all I saw were your lips dancing across my body?"

"I was just trying to make your injured area feel better. Was I successful?" she innocently asked with the light of the devil in her eyes.

He groaned as her hand rested lightly against his injury, "You know you did sweetie." He stopped the movement of her hand with his, and pulled her towards him so he could taste her lips. "But, now I need to return the favor." He murmured before he flipped them over and she felt the warmth of his body against hers. Feeling his weight over hers was warm, comforting, exciting, perfection! As his hands began to send equally hot suggestive messages across her body, she opened her mouth to his, inviting his tongue inside to play. When he pulled away she felt this unquenched thirst building inside her. She forced her eyes open when she felt no further caresses for what seemed like forever. She was immediately hypnotized by the blue white heat that bored into her brain as Jax looked deep into her soul.

Jax stood, picking Brenda up into his arms and carried her down into their cabin. Tonight might be the last night for them to enjoy the pure unadulterated joy of being together knowing everything was perfect with their world. Tomorrow he would tell Brenda about Victoria and he knew it would change things for them, at least for awhile. He knew Brenda too well not to expect her to doubt herself again. He cursed this woman for trying to crawl back into her life now. He would contact Victoria tomorrow after he had a chance to review her dossier. Maybe it was wrong of him to take what he could now, but this night was for them, and he was going to make a memory that would last forever in their hearts, minds and souls. With that thought in mind he laid Brenda gently down on the bed pausing briefly to admire the woman he had grown to love more with each passing day. As he joined her in bed and felt the gentle rocking of the boat, Jax prayed that tomorrow's revelation would not rock her world. Then the night was filled with giggles, laughs, squeals and moans as Jax went about the task of return the favor to its delicious completion .. .. .. ..

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