It's Always the Shy Ones
The three stayed unmoving in the uncomfortable silence for what seemed
like many eternities before a truck horn's persistent blare brought them
out of their own worlds. Oz turned and found his clothes, then discreetly
made his way to a corner to get dressed. And Buffy's hand felt bereft.
"Uh, hey Buff."
"Willow. HI! What brings you here?"
"I came back to visit my parents. I called over at your place and
uh… Spike told me where you were." Willow explained.
"Note to self. Muzzle Spike when you leave the house overnight."
Buffy muttered to herself, then stopped when she saw Willow looking at
her wide eyed, so she smiled brightly at her friend. "Want to go get some
coffee?"
"Shouldn't you let…" Willow pointed the boy leaning up against the
cage door "out"
Waving her hand in dismissal, Buffy grabbed the red head and walked
towards the entrance. Pausing for a moment, she looked back at Oz who was
letting himself out of the cage with a slightly pained look masking his
face. Their eyes met briefly, and then she quickly followed Willow out
into the sunlight.
~~~
Have you ever felt like the most horrible friend in the world?
Then you'll know what I mean when I saw that's exactly how I felt when
I saw Willow standing there. There I was, holding the hand of the guy who
had broken her heart by sleeping with another girl and leaving shortly
thereafter before they could resolve the problem. Not only that, but it
was in the exact same place that he'd committed the treacherous act against
her.
Granted, I had been keeping stuff from her about her since the
beginning of our newfound friendship, but that's easily glossed over.
He was here in flesh and blood now and I felt like crawling under into
a hole and dying. No scene was made, which I was glad of but just thinking
about the look Oz had when we were leaving just cut through my insides.
I wanted to be violently ill, but I couldn't because I had to go have coffee
with my best friend even though it was the last thing I wanted to go. See
crawling into a hole and dying comment and add Oz still loves Willow and
you might understand.
“Friends.” I said quickly.
She just nodded her head. So I nodded mine, and darted my eyes
around the room for some unknown reason.
“For long? Have you guys been friends for long, I mean.”
“Ummmm, a little while.” I answer vaguely.
There goes the head nodding again.
“Before I left?”
Bite the bullet, B. “Yeah, Before you left.”
“That’s what I thought.” Nodding and nibbling of lip. I know what
this means but I forget. Ok, so I’ll just go forth.
“How’s Riley?” I ask casually, though its pretty much meant in
an antagonistic way. If I have my back up, why shouldn't she?
A small flicker of remorse clouds her features and for an instant,
I kind of regret the comment, but then she speaks.
"He's good. He's actually the reason, part of the reason I'm here."
Huh? Hmm.
Ok, so while I was totally fine when I found about Riley and Willow
gone to school together at the other end of the country, he was mine first,
and if we hadn't had such issues of wrongness with each others lives it
could have possibly worked out. Ofcourse, I was already talking to Oz,
without her knowledge so I'm thinking we both hold issues of guilt that
should probably be left unspoken in the man area. Oh wait, she talking
and she said… uh oh. Did I just hear what I think I heard?
"Did you hear what I said?" she's eyeing me oddly.
"Um could you maybe repeat that?" Would be helpful.
"I'm pregnant." Yep, I heard right.
"Huh."
Willow frowns at me, disappointment masking her features. "That's
a non-Buffy answer if I ever heard one."
"No stranger than my 20-year old best friend telling me she's
pregnant. I think you telling me you had been turned would have been less
of a shock." I snort.
When she doesn't say anything for a full two minutes, I realize
I may have been rather harsh. I've been mean, but I have my reasons, even
if they sound more like excuses. While I've had my fill of demons and such,
for the most part I can now take them in stride leaving nothing notable
to surprise me - Aside from normal, everyday things that happen to my friends.
Unless its some heinous crime that's been committed - which ironically
enough, heinous crimes tend to be committed by humans - What can I say…
For now, I should show support though. "Will, I'm sorry. That
came out, well it just came out, which was wrong. This is just such a shock.
Didn't you guys use protection?
"Yeash." She cries out. "We did but…It's not a 100%, obviously."
A slight tearing giggle escapes her as normally happens when she's nervous.
"And you think you were shocked? I'm 20, in my second year of college,
and I have to tell my parents this. Can you imagine how I'll get out of
house alive afterwards?" shaking her head, her shoulders slumped, she looked
exactly like the shy Willow I met my first day at Sunnydale High. How times
have changed.
I move to other side of the table and throw a comforting arm around
her shoulders. "If you need to runaway you can come and stay with me."
I tell her, then a thought occurs to me. "Hey, shouldn't Riley be here
to tell them with you?"
Rolling her eyes, she wipes away the few unshed tears. "He went
to IOWA to tell *his* parents. Something about divide and conquer." She
shrugs and I feel some tension leave her.
"That’s me" I dig through my bag to find the pager I tossed in
there the afternoon before. Why is Spike paging me?
"Are you headed to your parents place now?" Pocketing the pager,
I close up the bag.
"I guess. Unless you need me to help and then my parents can totally
wait…forever" The last word is mumbled, but with Slayer hearing I get it.
I smile sympathetically.
"Why don't you go over there and get it over with, then come find
me when you're done." I suggest.
"Fine" she sighs, and I can't help but chuckle. I give her shoulder
a reassuring pat and leave to go see what the annoying bleached one wants.
So Willow's pregnant. With Riley Finn's child no less. And yeah,
I'm selfish but the main thing that’s going through my mind is that at
least she's not here to get Oz back. Not that he doesn't want her back.
If that look was an indication of his feelings, he probably would. I don't
want to be the one who tells him that she's pregnant. Or maybe I should.
Let him down easy. If she tells him, it might really hurt a lot more.
~~~
"You paged me now to tell me that Willow called HOURS ago?" Dubiously,
she watched Spike pull his clothes of the dryer.
"Wouldn't want you to think I don't give you telephone messages,
now would I?" he said innocently, reminiscent of an argument they've had
so many times. Smirking, Spike sashayed past the Slayer, leaving her there
alone, growling.
Once she finished her growling, Buffy made her way back upstairs
and took a stool watching Spike heat up some blood in the microwave. Sighing,
the blond vampire turned to look at her crossly.
"What now, Slayer? Did I leave some unmentionables in the dryer and
you don't want to put your tiny little hands on them. Well, tough." Snidely,
he arched a brow daring her to make something of it.
"Did Oz come back this morning?"
"How the bloody hell should I know, pet? I'm not your *boyfriend's*
babysitter." He shot back pointedly.
"Oz isn't…I don't…I mean, we aren't…boyfriend? He used to go out
with Willow."
"And this is what they teach you to at the Uni? How to execute perfect
english?? Your mum should ask for her money back." Rolling his eyes, he
drained the cup filled with his coppery beverage of choice. Realizing the
slayer wasn't going to retort, he continued. "So the wolf went out with
the witch. So what? So he's not allowed to date anyone else…ever?"
"Sure he can date other people, but Willow is the best friend I ever
had."
Snorting, Spike chuckled when he realized she was serious. "Are they
together? Shagging?? No. She's pregnant with your ex's child and you're
worried about dating her ex? It isn't like you'd be swooping in like my
fucken sire and stealing her man right under her. They - are - over."
"But the girl code." She started to protest.
"I think your *friend* abolished that thing like her virginity when
she started shagging the Commando's ass. Figuratively speaking."
"Oz still loves her." Buffy stated morosely.
"Where did you get an effin idea like that? If he still loves her
then…I'm a nice caring guy."
"The way he looked when she showed up today it said 'I still love
Willow'. " she assured him.
"Uh huh. Was this before or after you made a big show of the fact
that nothing was going on for the witch?" Spike inquired.
"I didn't…Maybe after." Her voice grew quiet.
"I swear, I should open a bloody Love clinic. I'd get everyone sorted
out right and good." He grumbled, his teeth grinding. Pursing his lips,
he studied the slayer. "Well then while your feeling all guilty for some
kind of stupid rot, why don't you consider the fact that maybe, just maybe
he looked like that because of the show you made. He probably figured you
were embarrassed to be seen with him considering how he went away to far
off place never calling the girl he loved, but instead he called her best
friend. How would you feel if you were him." He suggested piercingly. "I'm
going to get my beauty rest now, so shut the hell up!"
~~
Spike is wrong. Spike is always wrong. How could he possibly be
right? He stayed with an insane woman for over a century.
Although, he was right when he told Angel and me that we could
never be just friends. We are now, but it took a heck of a lot of work.
Plus sometimes I hate him. Mostly I remember him fondly though, so Spike
was wrong. We could be friends. As long as we never have to live in the
same town again, because that would never work.
And even if Oz is over Willow, which in *my* mind is a very big
if, it doesn't mean he's interested in me. But…
Damn Spike. Now I have to wait 'til Oz gets home to… To what exactly?
I don't even know….
GROWL
END
Author: Chrissie
E-mail: Infragrrl@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 - language
Summary: Buffy's POV. Buffy & Willow have a chat . Part
6 of 'Dear Diary'
Disclaimer: Don't own them, but I know I'd treat some of them better.
Distribution: WolfSlayer archive - Slayer & her Wolf. All else
ask.
Feedback: Please...*pouty lip*
Spoilers: Wild at Heart, - I Will Remember You (from the Angel series)
Previous parts 'Unequivocal' , 'Self-Imposed Exile' , ' To Look
or Not' , 'All for me'
& 'The more things stay the same'
"So, Oz is back." Willow stated, yet it sounded more like a question
to my ears. "And you guys are…?"