Buffy toyed with the stake in her hand as she patrolled the only Lover’s Lane
in Sunnydale. There was only two cars up here, it was only a Tuesday. < Boy,
won’t Veronica Swalley be happy to hear that Kevo was up at Lover’s Lane with
Regina Talons? > Buffy asked as she peeked into the steamy windows of one of
the cars she passed. Buffy wondered if these people ever noticed what I
beautiful view there was from the high hill. Buffy had noticed, she noticed
when she was here with Angel. Since they were on patrol, they went on foot up
a trail that went higher and had a much better view than from where the cars
usually parked.

Buffy found herself making her way up this trail, lost in her thoughts. It
had been two weeks since Angel had left for LA. She knew he would have to
leave sooner or later. They hadn’t been together before he left, hadn’t been
together since the night they had made love. Still, Buffy missed knowing he
was around, that she could find him when ever she had a problem. She missed
him, missed his reassuring hugs and short kisses.

Buffy was so caught up with all the memories of the trail she was climbing
up, that she almost didn’t notice the sound of a quiet strumming until she
reached the lookout. Someone had been playing a guitar and the melody was
very familiar, she knew she had heard the song before. When her eyes passed
a tree, she looked out at a glorious view of the small town, that it looked
so innocent was deceitful. And also looking out at the view, his guitar in
his lap, was Oz sitting Indian style in the grass.

A small smile formed at the corners of her lips when she looked at his back.
She stopped and just stared at him, but he continued to look out at the view,
occasionally strumming a few cords on his guitar, but never turning toward
her. She had always thought Oz an anomaly. She could never figure out
Willow’s quiet and faithful boyfriend. They had spent a lot of time together,
always as a group, yeah, but you’d think she’d know more than one thing about
him. That one thing she knew was that he was deeply in love with Willow. She
didn’t think Willow knew the magnitude of how much Oz loved her. She only
thought that Oz was infatuated with her and that sooner or later he would
snap out of it. She continued to think this because she was still in love
with Xander. But Buffy knew that look, that look that he got in his eyes when
he looked at Willow. It was the look that Angel gave her, every time he saw
her. It was the look of true love.

She expected that kind of thing from a man over 240 years, but a nineteen
year old boy? However, Oz did love her that deeply, it was apparent. And
still Buffy didn’t know much about the boy who loved her best friend so well.
She knew that he was extremely intelligent. Not just from the high test
scores he got, that helped, but because when he talked his words were always
witty in a dry sense of humor that a lot of people didn’t notice. Buffy
noticed, it was her job to notice that kind of thing. He didn’t speak much,
but when ever he did it seemed to hold some merit, whether it was a well
concealed joke or a serious comment.

Buffy had started to think the reason Oz was often very quiet was because he
was evaluating everybody. Really studying situations. And when he did this he
would often look like he was zoning out the conversation completely.
Sometimes people would ask him to comment on the situation just to see if he
was still in Dimension Sunnydale, and every time he would comment, that just
told you he had heard everything.

Buffy shook her head and figured that she was probably just over thinking the
guy. He was in fact just a normal teenage boy. But he wasn’t normal. He was
different and it wasn’t just because he was a werewolf, though Buffy thought
that could have a lot to do with it. Wow, she really wanted to know what was
up with him and it weirded Buffy out. She shouldn’t be examining Willow’s
boyfriend so closely, it was rude.

“Hi, Buffy.” Oz’s voice startled Buffy out of her thoughts. Suddenly, she
burned bright red with embarrassment. He must have known she was here the
whole time, just standing there looking at his back. < Smooth Buffy. Very
cool. > Buffy chastised herself.

“I was just wondering when you were going to say something,” Buffy said,
trying to play her stupidity off. “I thought you might have been zoning
again,” she said with a short laugh and walked toward him. She stopped when
she was standing over his shoulder, looking down at the top of his head.
“Very sloppy Oz. Do you have protection?” Buffy playfully chastised him.

“Yeah,” he answered simply. Buffy didn’t know what to say to him now. She
didn’t want to leave, but she was, for once, at a loss for words. For some
reason, Oz intimidated Buffy. Not physically, of course, but kind of a mind
fuck. Buffy’s incapability of figuring him out, made it feel like he had an
upper hand on her, like he was kind of better than her. He was probably
better than any of them.

Slipping her unneeded jacket off her shoulders, she placed it in the grass
next to Oz. She plopped down on it, seating herself next to him. “So, what
are you doing up here? Is this, like, your thinking spot?” Buffy asked
casually, she hoped.

“Thinking spot?” he asked turning to her for the first time with a quirked up
eyebrow. “I guess,” he replied with a laugh.

“What are you thinking about?” Buffy asked in a more serious tone than she
had intended. She was trying to be casual, and failing horribly.

“Willow,” Oz answered.

“There’s a big shocker,” Buffy said with a small smile. It was so cute, his
devotion for Willow. “Counting her many redeeming qualities?” she finished,
feeling slightly like she was prying.

“No,” Oz said blatantly. “ I was thinking about how she still loves Xander.”

Buffy was genuinely shocked that he had told her that. Her jaw fell open and
her eyes went wide. She wasn’t really too shocked by the statement itself. Oz
was a smart guy, it wasn’t surprising that he could tell. It was just strange
that he was willing to share that with *her*.

“No, Oz. Willow is with you, she wants you,” Buffy tried to cover for her
friend. She knew it was pretty much pointless, she was a bad liar and Oz was
a perceptive guy, but at least she could say that she tried.

Instead of commenting at what she said, he moved on as if she hadn’t even
said it. She knew that he knew as well she did that she was lying. Not really
lying, but he knew that she didn’t really believe it. “I’m probably the one
that’s being selfish. I hold on to her even though I know she loves him, just
because I can’t stand not having her.”

What could she say? She couldn’t deny it again, that would be insulting his
intelligence and she respected him too much to do that. “If that’s what you
really think, then maybe what you have to do is let her go. If you try to
live with this over your head then you’ll both be unhappy,” Buffy offered,
digging from her own experiences.

“It’s not really that easy for me,” Oz said. Oz set his guitar aside and laid
back on his back, looking up at the stars. “How do you think Willow feels
about me?” he asked her.

“I know that she loves you,” Buffy said, laying down next to him, on her
side, her head propped up on her hand so that she could look down into his
face. “But just a little late. She’s loved Xander for most of her life. I
don’t know if that will ever go away.” Buffy paused for a moment and thought
about Angel’s leaving. “But just because two people love each other, doesn’t
mean that they’re meant to be together.

“Are you thinking about Angel?” Oz asked, looking up at her questioningly.

Buffy just nodded a bit, staring back out at the dead town below them.

“It’s a little different with you two,” Oz said turning back to the view of
the stars. “Willow and Xander don’t have any happiness clause to get in their
way. They only have me. If I could let Willow go then maybe they would get
together and be really happy.”

“Or maybe not,” Buffy argued. “Maybe they’d be miserable together because of
the bad blood. Maybe Willow would be happier with you.”

“Living with the man you truly love and having to put up with some shit, is
different from living with a man you have luke warm feelings for, but who
treats you like a goddess. Nine times out of ten you’d rather be putting up
with the shit,” Oz theorized.

“I know,” Buffy breathed out. She had lost the small battle, not that she had
really expected to win. Buffy knew that Oz and Willow wouldn’t make it passed
graduation. Maybe he’d hang on to her until then and then suggest they go
their separate ways, since college and all. But maybe by then it would be too
late for Willow and Xander to have time to establish their feelings for one
another. Maybe neither Oz nor Xander would have her and they’d all end up
lonely. The thought depressed Buffy, she wanted her friends happy.

Buffy fell to her back and stared up at the stars. They lay there for a long
comfortable silence. Just both of them staring up at the stars, lost in their
own thoughts. Buffy felt comfortable lying there with him. She wondered if he
felt the same way with her. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted to be
his friend. She didn’t understand it, but just did.

“So, have you decided what you want to do after high school? Are you going to
go to college?” Buffy asked, feeling relaxed enough to try and learn some
more about Oz. She didn’t think she’d understand a thing about him, but she
could still try.