Title: Cuttable Tension (1/1)
Author: Queena
E-mail: thessulah@aol.com
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Buffy and Willow have a conversation about Buffy's new relationship with Oz.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all of the characters used in this story. I ain't the one.
Distribution: Will be up at the "The Wolf and the Slayer". Any other's who want it, just ask.
Author's Notes: This is the eighth part of my "Blood Pump" series. Dedication: To all the members on the wolfslayer list. You people rule! Now go do my questionnaire.

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Well, somebody say something. The silence is killing me. And why do they both look all confused. Come on, Xander, you're the king of icebreakers. Come through. No? Well then forget you. So, where did I put that katana blade so I can cut through this tension?

Drrrr-drrrr. Saved by the bell, so to speak. What? Now why the hell is everybody staring at me?

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yep." Thanks, Xander, you're ever so helpful. That's okay, I'll just go answer my phone.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?" Geez, what a chart topper of a night. As if it didn't suck enough already. Now, I have to go to sleep with his voice in my ears. I hate when that happens.

"Angel, what's up. And could you make this quick? I'm having a personal crisis here." Now spit it out 'cause I have to get back to the others before their throats grow dry with lack of speech. Well, Oz's won't, but his eyes will go numb from staring at Willow for too long. Stupid-no. No, I'm not going to insult my best friend.

"I don't know if we have a problem, but something happened tonight that I thought you should know about." His voice is so quiet you'd think he was calling from Japan or something.

"I'm listening."

"I had a run-in tonight. I was fighting a vampire and after I dusted him some woman came out of no where and kicked me in the face. She was rough too, Buffy. I had to run, she just wasn't giving up."

I don't even know this chick and I already don't like her. Okay, maybe she's okay since she did save Oz's life. Why would she try to kill Angel though? "Were you in game face?"

"Yeah."

"All right, Angel. I'm kinda-"

"Buffy." Oh, why does he look so lost?

"Just a minute, Angel."

"I'm going to go." No! God damnit, this was supposed to be our night. Now he's putting on his shoes and jacket and leaving me and it's all Willow's fault. When will he get over her already? Jesus, this is never going to work out. No matter how much we like each other, there's just too much history standing between us. Oh, god, no, Buffy, you wuss, don't cry.

"Hey." Is he going to tell me now? That this is never going to work out? That he's still in love with Willow and he'll never be able to look at me and not think of her? What do I have to do to take his mind off of her? Fuck him soulless? No, that wouldn't be a good, but still. "I'll come by to the library around four tomorrow. Will you be there?"

Am I ever anywhere else? Of course, I will. NOD.

"I'll see you then. Hey, don't look so sad." Mmmmmm, he used to kiss Willow on the forehead like that. And that was for me. But I can't delude myself. What if we can never work this out? What if he can never stop thinking about her and I can never stop thinking about Angel? What if happiness is just not in the cards for us? God, it hurts to see him go.

"Angel?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. Are you all right? You sound kind of choked up." He could always read me so well. Even the tones of my voice.

"I'll be okay. I'm just kind of busy right now." And when did they come into the room? "So, I want a detailed description of that girl, but I have to go for now. Can I call you later tonight or sometime tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Thanks, Angel. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Beep.

"So, how's Deadboy?" There's that damn nick name again. When the hell will he finally grow up?

"*Angel* is fine, Xander. At least as far as I know." And that's not very far these days. Of course, that's for the best."

"Gotta say I'm slightly shocked to see you and Oz chumming around." Yeah, Xander, you would be. As much as I'm disappointed that they showed up when they did, I'm really happy to see them.

Wow, there's that silence again. It's kind of amazing. I always figured that the first time they came back that our mouths would be going at a hundred miles an hour. But it seems like we really don't have much to say to each other.

"Xander, I want to talk to Buffy for a minute. Why don't you go raid her refrigerator or something?" Great, here it comes.

"I'm not hungry." God, is he ever oblivious. "But, maybe I'll go raid her underwear drawer." Have fun.

And now that he's gone, the really really tense silence.

"So, what were you and Oz doing? I mean, you've never been really good friends so it kinda raises a few questions why he's over here a lot lately." Gee, Will, why don't ya get right to the point.

"Well, we've been spending a lot of time together lately. I guess it's just from lack of better things to do." Now, that's not a complete lie. I don't really have anything better to do than be with Oz. There really isn't much of anything that *is* better than being with Oz.

"I guess. You guys looked pretty comfortable."

"No, not really. There's still a lot of tension between us." Of the unresolved sexual kind.

"So, are you and Xander working things out?" Yeah, let's take the topic away from my relationship and focus it hers.

"We're trying. That's why...with coming back here together. But maybe it wasn't such a good idea. He thinks I still have a thing for Oz. That I regret breaking up with Oz to be with him."

"Do you?"

"I don't know. Buffy, how close have you and Oz gotten exactly? Like friends who hang every now and then? Friends who hang a lot? What?"

Here it is, Summers. You have to tell her that you're interested in Oz as more than a friend. Anything else would be weasel-y. And if you don't it will just make things between you and Oz harder. Okay, deep breath. I better sit for this one.

"There's a little more than just that."

"How much more?"

"Will, I..." Kay, remember, breathing is a necessity. "I like him. Like him as more than...well, not in the way I like Xander or Giles, but not in the way I liked Angel, but somewhere in between."

"You have snuggle-like feelings for him?"

"Will, you have to understand. I've been seeing him a lot and after a while I started really seeing him. Ya know, in the way that two people who spend time are likely to do?" Yeah, Buff, that makes a whole lot of sense. Why don't you just tell her that you're dating him? Why can't I just say it?

"Well, seeing him as in noticing what color his hair is for the week or seeing him as in noticing how his eyes sparkle when he thinks something is funny?"

"Willooooowwww, what is with the third degree? Are you jealous or something?"

"Well, why are you giving me muddled answers?"

"Why are you asking me muddled questions? If you want to know something, why don't you just come out and ask me? You know I'll tell you the truth." I shouldn't be this mad, but God damnit, I am! What right does she have to interrogate me? She's the one who broke up with him. He's free to date someone. And if the someone he likes is me then why shouldn't I be allowed to like him back? I'm beginning to think that Willow is as selfish as Cordelia said she was.

"Are you two dating?" What right does she have to use that cold tone with me?

"Well, we were until you showed up at my front door completely unannounced! Are we now? I don't fucking know! I don't know why he can't get you out of his mind and I don't know why he even bothers when you're doing whatever the Hell you're doing with Xander! I don't know why he's off somewhere wondering why he wasn't good enough for you or why he couldn't make you love him! There's a lot of stuff that I don't know, but what I *do* know is that you don't deserve him and you never did so why the Hell shouldn't I have him?!"

Breathe, breathe. This is Willow your best friend and she looks like she's about to cry. Calm down, and for God sake, don't hit her.

"I...I thought...I thought you had more respect for me and our friendship than that, Buffy. Since you obviously don't then I better go." Oh, no you don't. You can't just walk out on me like that. She's always trying to walk out on her problems.

"Willow, why are you being such an idiot? You love Xander, you have since you were five. I know it, Oz knows, and I'm pretty sure even Xander knows it. Why can't you figure it out? Why do you have to have it both ways? You don't love Oz, you never did and that's why you don't deserve him. You love Xander and that's why you *do* deserve *him*, but you keep stringing him along because you don't think he can love you as strongly as Oz did. And that's why you're messing up everybody’s chance at happiness. Can't you even see that?"

"What I see is you moving in on my ex-boyfriend. Whether I love Xander or whether I love Oz, there's friends ethics involved. The fact that I'm so confused about this should be enough for you to know better, but you don't."

I've never fought this hard with Willow. Hell, I don't think that I've *ever* fought with Willow. She really has changed so much since I first met her. Where is the Willow that I've known and loved for all this time? Is she on hiatus or is she gone forever? And can I live with this new and unimproved version of her?

"I like Oz, really, really like him. And he likes me. Yeah, we've loved other people, but why shouldn't we be able to love again. Angel knows and he didn't try and talk me out of it or make me feel guilty. Why are you? If you're my best friend then why are you trying to deprive me of something that feels this good?"

"I...I...don't, God, Buffy. I don't want to deprive you of another chance to love, but why does this hurt so much? Why...why..." God, I hate to see Willow cry.

"What did you do?" Great, Xander. He's always accusing me of hurting his great and wonderful Willow. He's too stupid to ever consider that maybe she brought something on herself.

"Ask your girlfriend, numbskull. She's not crying because of me, she's crying because of herself."

"Thanks, Buff. This is just the 'welcome home' I was hoping for."

"Xander, just...just...this doesn't concern you. Buffy and I were having a private conversation." Go, Willow. Whip him like the bad little love slave he is.

"I don't have anything else to say, Willow. All you have to do is take some time to process what I said to you. You're my best friend and I'll always love you, but you've grown one helluva pedestal in the past couple of years. I think you need to climb down."

" Let's go, Xander. I need some time to think."

I hope our friendship isn't ruined by this. But how long was I supposed to keep this bottled up anyway? I've seen it since our senior year of high school. She's been changing. There was never any reason to say anything until now. But our friendship has always remained strong. I hope this isn't the thing that tears it apart.

"Good-bye, Buffy."

"Bye, Willow."
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And the saga continues